Immersion

Pamela Carey
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A search for how to live a meaningful life in the modern world by applying psychology and philosophy. Let’s dive 30 minutes beneath the surface each Sunday together. | Hosted by Pamela Carey Leave a voice message for the show here: https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey Write in here: https://www.pamcarey.com/contact This podcast is a production of Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist

  1. −11 h

    Why You Feel Like You’re Never Enough (Contingent Self-Worth) (series part 4)

    Do you ever feel like your value as a person depends entirely on your last achievement, your productivity, or what someone else thinks of you? You’re not alone. This is part 4 in our 10 part series on improving our relationship with ourselves. (See the whole self-worth series here:  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OG ) And in this episode we’re diving deep into the concept of contingent (or conditional) self-worth - that exhausting cycle of making our worth dependent on external factors. We talk about where this comes from, whether it’s a lack of supportive "mirrors" growing up, or just a natural byproduct of living in a highly transactional society. Also covered in this episode:  - Deconstruction of the word "worth" itself and ask a radical question: Is "worth" even the right metric we should be pursuing? - Addressing the secret fear we all have - if I fully accept myself right now, will I lose my drive and become lazy? - Why certain people inherently crave and need external validation more than others. - Practical steps you can take to shift toward true, unconditional self-worth. If you've ever felt like you're constantly running on a hamster wheel trying to prove you're "enough," this conversation is for you. Timestamps:  00:00 Conditional or contingent self-worth (and why it doesn't work long-term) 03:00 Evolutionary reasons it is normal to crave some external validation 04:30 How this is similar to falling in love - now just with ourselves 06:13 Where does this tendency to outsource our self-worth come from? (Home lives & society) 09:38 Taking apart the word "worth" - is there a better term for this? 10:36 A practice to increase unconditional self-love 11:32 Branches of psychology and philosophy that support this mindset 13:39 Will I become lazy or immoral if I believe I am inherently worthy? 16:20 People who seem to have more or less of a need for validation 18:54 A laundry list of action steps 26:42 Why this is an ongoing journey, not a one-and-done fix 28:51 Diversifying our self-concept 30:16 Clarifying some definitions Resources mentioned:  Article mentioned that covers the following: "self-affirmation often involves recalling personal values, strengths, or relationships to restore moral integrity." https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11024277/ Do attractive people have easier lives? https://youtu.be/dY-Ct2O-ML4 On perfectionism: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/16439411 On grit: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/18565769 Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    33 min

  2. 14 juni

    How to Build Self-Worth and Stop Seeking External Validation (Part 3 in series)

    The topic of self-worth cuts deeper than self-esteem. That is because self-worth is an internal sense that you are enough, and that you are fundamentally deserving of love and respect. In Part 3 of our "Relationship to Self" series, we are diving deep into the foundations of self-worth. In this episode, we look at: Where are we actually getting validation from?How does toxic shame quietly undermine our value?What do we truly care about versus what are the games we play to feel like we "stack up?”Tangible practices we can start using today to build our self-worth.I hope this episode supports you on your journey of personal growth and strengthening your relationship with yourself.  Timestamps:  00:00 The Difference Between Self-Worth & Self-Esteem 01:20 External vs Internal Validation  08:50 Sources of Validation and the Masks we Wear  17:51 How Toxic Shame Secretly Destroys Your Confidence 24:34 Vulnerability and True Authenticity Resources mentioned:  Heidi Priebe’s video on healing from toxic shame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y47iJrbO2ugBrene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection:  https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/Jack’s website - there is a link for a free e-book for actors in the menu bar!  https://jackplotnick.com/Info on the Enneagram: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/Interesting thoughts on 12 step programs even if not religious: -              https://americanaddictioncenters.org/blog/not-religious Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    29 min

  3. 7 juni

    Building Self-Esteem: The 6 Pillars

    While self-esteem may seem like an elusive, vague concept, there are practical, everyday actions we can take to build it. In this episode, we explore the actionable frameworks outlined in the classic book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. Together, we will dive into all six pillars: living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, living purposefully, and living with integrity. Beyond the theory, we’ll look at real-world examples and the exact tools needed to implement them, such as Branden's famous sentence completion exercises. I've also included several of my favorite quotes from the book. I hope this helps you deepen your relationship with yourself as part of our ongoing series! This is part 2 in the series. You can find part 1 here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19265696 Resources:  The book: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/79352.Six_Pillars_of_Self_Esteem On sentence completion work: https://nathanielbranden.com/sentence-completion-i/ Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    28 min

  4. 31 maj

    The Relationship That Shapes Everything Else | Series on Self-Worth, Validation & Identity (Part 1)

    You likely know how you feel about your relationships with other people - but how do you feel about your relationship with yourself? Whether we realize it or not, our relationship with ourselves influences nearly everything: our relationships, choices, ambitions, and even how we interpret everyday experiences. In this new series, we'll explore that relationship from many angles, including self-esteem and self-worth, validation, comparison, limerence, trauma, self-concept, and more. In this first episode, we explore why our relationship with ourselves matters so much - and why examining it isn't just navel-gazing or self-absorption. We discuss how self-esteem and self-worth issues can show up in subtle, often unconscious ways, introduce key concepts we'll build on throughout the series, and lay the foundation for the conversations ahead. If you've ever wondered why certain patterns keep repeating in your life, why some feedback affects you more than it should, or why your sense of worth can feel surprisingly fragile despite your accomplishments, this series is for you.  This is Part 1 of an ongoing series exploring our relationship with ourselves and how it shapes the way we move through the world. 00:00 How Is Your Relationship With Yourself? 00:53 Why Does This Matter? 03:49 How Common Is Low Self-Esteem? 05:51 What We'll Explore in This Series 09:10 Foundational Ideas for the Journey Ahead 10:27 Key Terms & Definitions 12:22 Beyond Self-Care: Feeling Worthy and Taking Loving Actions 15:37 Why We Sometimes Sabotage Ourselves 17:48 Does Self-Esteem Make Us Arrogant? 19:41 A Simple Definition of Self-Esteem Article mentioned:  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9276660/ Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    23 min

  5. 24 maj

    The Hidden Personality Trait That Shapes Your Reality: Intuition vs. Sensing

    There’s an often-overlooked personality trait that shapes how you process almost everything you encounter day-to-day. While traits like introversion and extraversion get all the spotlight, this core piece of our psychology is just as crucial to understand. Originally introduced by Carl Jung, the balance between Intuition and Sensing dictates whether you prefer to live in the tangible world of facts or the world of endless possibilities. In this episode, we explore: The Tangible vs. The Possible: How Sensors and Intuitives see the exact same world differently.Better Connections: How understanding this trait helps you communicate and connect with others.Valuing Both: Why we need both perspectives to navigate the world effectively.Understanding how you process information is one of the best ways to navigate life more smoothly. I love this topic, and I hope it's helpful to you! Timestamps:  00:00 Sensing vs. Intuition: The Core Difference  06:44 Population Statistics of Sensors and Intuitives 10:03 Personality Preference vs. Being Put in a Box 12:25 Diversifying Skills: Valuing Sensing and Intuition 18:06 Meeting in the Middle: Communication for Sensors and Intuitives 20:55 Main Takeaways for Each Personality Type 21:32 Zen and Transcendence Between Both Resources:  Free Personality Assessment: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test  (NOTE: This isn't a "true" MBTI test, but it's a great one that blends a few different theories together. You can read about their theory here) https://www.16personalities.com/articles/our-theoryAlternative Test (If past tests haven't felt right) https://mistypeinvestigator.com Article on the "Ladder of Abstraction" https://tombarrett.medium.com/up-and-down-the-ladder-of-abstraction-cb73533be751Past Video: "Why doesn’t my Myers-Briggs type fit me?" https://youtu.be/wHoj2Q6qYy8 Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    25 min

  6. 16 maj

    Happiness Is Not the Opposite of Sadness | How to Handle Negative Emotions

    If you’ve ever felt deeply grateful and incredibly sad at the exact same time, you know emotions don't always fit into neat boxes. We often view emotions as a simple spectrum, with happiness on one end and sadness on the other. But our feelings are far more nuanced than that. Instead of living on opposite sides of a continuum, our emotions operate more like individual "knobs" that turn up and down independently. In this episode, we explore how embracing this complexity can enrich our lives, help us move away from black-and-white thinking, and deepen our connections with others. We also talk through what to practically do when those feelings start to feel overwhelming. Timestamps:  00:00 - Are you experiencing an emotion, a feeling, or a mood? 04:15 - The spectrum myth: Can you be happy and sad at the same time? 11:00 - What is DBT? (And why we need to let emotions come up) 17:07 - "What do I do with this?" How to actually process a heavy emotion Resources mentioned in this episode: - APA Definition of Emotion: https://www.apa.org/topics/emotions - Stanford Research on Cultural Differences: https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2015/07/emotions-chinese-americans-070215 - Harvard Business Review (On Chasing Happiness): https://hbr.org/2015/08/happiness-isnt-the-absence-of-negative-feelings - Dr. David Matsumoto’s Research Paper on Emotions: https://davidmatsumoto.com/content/NG%20Spain%20Article_2_.pdf - Psychology Today (Emotions vs. Feelings): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pleasure-is-all-yours/202202/the-important-difference-between-emotions-and-feelings This is a follow up to this episode on how culture shapes our perception of happiness: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19001429 Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    23 min

  7. 10 maj

    Ending Excess Screen Time (Habits that actually work)

    We’ve all heard the basic advice: turn off notifications, put your phone in grayscale, or just "try harder." But if you’re like me, those tips didn't stick. After years of experimentation and diving into the psychology of habit formation, I’ve finally found a system that is working for me. In this episode (Part 2 of our series on technology), we are moving past the philosophy and getting into more specific action steps. We’re talking about building friction, managing decision fatigue, and finding the "why" that actually keeps you away from the screen. In this episode, we discuss: The Power of Friction: Lockboxes, website blockers, and "dumb phones." Beating Decision Fatigue: Creating a "Guidelines List" so you don't have to make constant difficult choices.Drilling Down to Your "Why": Finding a compelling reason to change. Why adding fulfilling activities is better than just "stopping" (Shout-out to Cal Newport and his "Deep Life" work!).Analog Switches: Why using tools such as paper planners, watches, and physical notepads helps more than we may have initially thought. Timestamps:  00:00 Intro: The bold claim about ending screen time 01:10 Strategic Friction: Using lockboxes & blockers to break the habit 07:20 Ending Decision Fatigue: How to create your "Guidelines List" 15:39 The Deep Life: Why "just stopping" doesn't work (inspired by Cal Newport) 17:29 The Core Shift: Digging to your compelling "Why" 19:27 Analog Wins: The psychology of paper, pens, and watches 23:46 Join the Conversation: How to leave a voice note (SpeakPipe) 24:33 A Personal Note: Life update & why the schedule changed Resources and Episodes Mentioned:  Changing Your Relationship With Technology (Part 1): https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/17789635Finding Purpose and Meaning: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/18932472How to Organize Your Mind: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/17960805Cal Newport’s The Deep Life Podcast: https://www.thedeeplife.com/Gretchen Rubin: Abstainers vs. Moderators: https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/abstainer-vs-moderator/ Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    26 min

  8. 12 apr.

    How Culture Changes Your Pursuit of Happiness

    Happiness is a universal human aim, but what we believe makes us happy, and how we define a life well-lived, varies. In Part 10 of our Positive Psychology deep dive, we explore how cultural norms, language, and social safety nets dictate our personal views on flourishing. In this episode, we explore: How cultural norms and language shape the way we express happiness.Why a national safety net changes how we behave day-to-day.The 6-D Model of culture - from uncertainty avoidance to individualism vs. collectivism Why some cultures prize "excitement" while others seek "peace."Dialecticism: The unique ability to experience conflicting emotions simultaneously.A Global Perspective: My friend Zad shares his story of a family spread across the globe and what flourishing means to them.Cultural Evolution: How societies are changing and the nuanced exceptions to the models we study.Timestamps:  00:00 How do different cultures express / show happiness: Interview part 1 07:00 Affect Valuation: Why we want to feel what we feel 09:10 Dialecticism: Finding room for "Both/And" emotions 10:55 The 6-D Model of National Culture 15:35 Does culture shifts over generations: Interview part 2:  18:36 Global roots and the meaning of flourishing: Interview part 3:  21:30 The PERMA+ Recap: Building your own wellbeing toolkit Thank you to Zad for coming on! You can find more from him at his instagram: @zadbullfitness  Further reading available here: - https://geerthofstede.com/culture-geert-hofstede-gert-jan-hofstede/6d-model-of-national-culture/ - https://behavioralpsychstudio.com/what-the-heck-is-a-dialectic/ - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16536652/ Jeanne Tsai's research on AVT Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

    23 min
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A search for how to live a meaningful life in the modern world by applying psychology and philosophy. Let’s dive 30 minutes beneath the surface each Sunday together. | Hosted by Pamela Carey Leave a voice message for the show here: https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey Write in here: https://www.pamcarey.com/contact This podcast is a production of Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist

Information

  • Skapad av
    Pamela Carey
  • Aktiva år
    2024 - 2026
  • Avsnitt
    47
  • Åldersgräns
    Barnvänligt
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises
  • Programmets webbplats
    Immersion