Negative Philosophy

Deborah Butler
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Negative Philosophy examines what you can't think your way to — the part of how you function that runs below the level of reading, understanding, or deciding. Each episode works with the philosophical lineage of Spinoza, Gurdjieff, Zen, and the Stoics, alongside Martin Butler's framework for psychological realism. A different quality of attention to what is actually happening — not self-improvement, not optimism. Debbie Butler is a psychologist and practitioner of Negative Philosophy. deborahbutler.substack.com

  1. My Trauma Christmas List

    2025-12-12

    My Trauma Christmas List

    1. Scary Santa at the Grotty Grotto - creepy old man with beard fed to small children who are into monsters in stories and nursery rhymes. 2. Shopping - really? Who needs yet another ornament. Battling the crowds for that very last toy that your daughter wanted. Imagining the pain when she unwraps the Chloe the Cat instead of the Wagalots Kitty that she so desperately wanted. Finding ‘yet another’ tie for uncle Bob. Fighting - oh yes, fighting for the last of the special brand Tom Smith crackers. Food? - That’s another story, later. Money? - Do I have enough? Can I really afford a brand new Rolex for the girl or guy I’m trying to impress? The answer is always, no - but you do it anyway. 3. Sensibility vanished. Any semblance of normality has gone. People rushing, screaming, pushing and even punching to get to the till first, so they can attack another shop in the endless quest for treasure. Step back - do you see our primitive ancestors here? - hunters and gatherers, collecting what they can in a greedy frenzy, in case everything runs out. (Impossible I know, but the emotions and that sick feeling in your stomach that this Christmas might be another disaster, keeps driving you on to even more chaos and misery.) Step back - what if there were no Christmas. What if same people remained sane this festive season. I know, unthinkable. However we are Christmas abstainers. Like with any addiction, it can be done. This is an addiction, to being part of the tribe, to belonging, to being accepted (although in truth, if you were a fly on the wall when you left the room, you’d pack your bags now and leave). Tribal creatures fear isolation. They feal abandonment. They are weaker alone. When you are weak, I am strong. This is the game being played out every Christmas in the shops and Malls across the world. We are trying to be strong, to puff ourselves up to being the richest, most generous, giver. But all we do is empty our bank accounts for tat. The latest in the Christmas farce is Advent. This year, I’ve seen people posting vides of themselves giving advent presents every day in December. Not just little chocolates in Advent Calendars, but big, bold, ribbon festooned luxuries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    15 min
  2. The Inner Battle - Appetite vs. Desire

    2025-12-09

    The Inner Battle - Appetite vs. Desire

    Today I want to tell you a secret: Most of the things you chase… aren’t actually yours. And I’m not talking metaphors, I’m talking Spinoza, biology and the architecture of your mind. Let’s break down the sequence that runs your entire life: Essence → Conatus → Appetite → Desire. It’s the difference between living according to your nature and living according to a fantasy of yourself. Let’s start at the beginning. Essence This is your structure. Not your personality. Not your trauma. Not your goals. Your structure. You didn’t choose it. You can’t negotiate it. It’s the pattern that makes you you. And that pattern expresses itself through Conatus… Conatus Conatus is your engine — the push to continue, to grow, to increase your power. It’s not psychological. It’s not spiritual. It’s natural law. Every part of you — from your cells to your emotional reactions — is trying to persist and expand. And Conatus speaks through two channels: Appetite and Desire. One is honest. The other is chaos in a fancy coat. Appetite Appetite is clean. Pure. Unpolluted. It says: * “I need rest.” * “I need warmth.” * “I need connection.” * “I need food.” * “I need space.” Your body never lies. It just wants what increases its real power. But… then comes Desire. Desire Desire is the potential bad-boy because it can become appetite after being kidnapped by imagination. Desire says: * “Be impressive.” * “Push harder.” * “Fix yourself.” * “Achieve more.” * “Be wanted.” * “Be seen.” * “Be validated.” Appetite wants raw power in existence and survival through striving. Desire wants a story, a way to understand what’s going on where there is no understanding other than that we make up in our imagination. And this is why people feel split in half. The Split Your Essence wants what is natural / Your Desire wants what looks good. Your Essence wants rest. / Your Desire wants to perform. Your Essence wants connection. / Your Desire wants validation. Your Essence wants truth. / Your Desire wants the best, most dramatic, fantasy. No wonder you feel tired. The Work Ask yourself, every time you want something: Is this coming from my body…or from a character I’m playing? If you remove the audience, do you still want it? If you remove the fantasy version of yourself, does the want survive? If the answer is no…that wasn’t Desire. That was your conditioning wearing lipstick and it’s best dress to impress you and distact you away from the mundane. Your life becomes quieter, clearer, saner the moment you listen to Appetite and stop worshipping Desire. That’s Spinoza’s freedom: Not choosing whatever you want but understanding the machinery behind that want. So now, - Off you go. Start watching yourself honestly. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    16 min
  3. The Ethics Part 3 Proposition 4

    2025-12-05

    The Ethics Part 3 Proposition 4

    Proposition No thing can be destroyed except through an external cause. Demonstration This proposition is self-evident. For the definition of any thing affirms the essence of the thing and does not deny it; that is, it affirms the thing’s existence, not its nonexistence. So, if we attend only to the thing itself, and not to any external causes, we will find nothing in it that could destroy it. Q.E.D. Corollary Hence it follows that a thing cannot be destroyed by the force of its own nature, but only by an external cause. Scholium This proposition is clear: for it is one of those axioms that make up the foundation of our reasoning. Indeed, everyone must admit that nothing can destroy itself, but only something else with contrary nature. For example, a man is destroyed by a beast, not by his own human nature. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    9 min
  4. Actions Or Just Words?

    2025-12-02

    Actions Or Just Words?

    I break down a brutal truth most people avoid: words are cheap and so are your ideas. We explore why so many intelligent, insightful people stay stuck in fantasy while convincing themselves they’re making progress. Drawing on Spinoza’s theory of conatus, Martin Butler’s realism, and modern psychology, we unpack how desire, appetite, imagination, and behavior connect — and why nothing changes until the body moves. - Why talking about change can prevent actual change - How the brain confuses “explaining” with “doing” - The difference between appetite, desire, and fantasy - Why behavior never lies - How to align thought and substance - A simple practice to turn ideas into movement Your life is shaped by what you do, not what you intend. Thought + action = transformation - Martin Butler’s Negative Philosophy - Spinoza’s Ethics - Debbie’s Substack: Live Without Illusion - Patreon community + bonus episodes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    13 min
  5. The Heart of Practice

    2025-11-27

    The Heart of Practice

    In this episode, I (Debbie) read and reflect on “The Heart of Practice,” a foundational piece of Negative Philosophy written by Martin Butler. Rather than chasing knowledge or spiritual fantasies, this practice asks the only questions that matter: How am I feeling right now—and why? What am I thinking—and why? Through body sensing, observation, and deep understanding, the work leads to genuine inner freedom, emotional clarity, and the ability to experience love consciously. This episode explores the essence of daily practice, why it matters, and how it opens a new relationship with your own mind and emotional life. To know more, contact me to arrange for your free half hour, no commitment, session. Deborah Butler on Power and Freedom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    6 min
  6. Truth, Lies & The Mind's Need To Survive

    2025-11-25

    Truth, Lies & The Mind's Need To Survive

    This episode continues the exploration of how the mind creates its own version of truth. We discuss the psychology and neuroscience of traumatic memory, the role of the conatus in protecting the self, and why the brain rewrites reality to preserve functioning. Drawing on research and realism, we talk about how to observe these processes with compassion and without self-blame. The mind adapted to help you survive — now we can understand it with clarity. Our memories feel accurate — but they are reconstructions shaped by emotion, safety, and survival. In this episode, we explore: - How trauma reshapes memory - Why the brain fills in missing details - The neuroscience of false memory - Why people with altered memories can pass polygraph tests - Research from Elizabeth Loftus and others on memory distortion - Spinoza’s concept of the conatus — the drive to persist - How realism helps us observe the mind without judgement This is a compassionate look at how the brain protects us, and how to approach our inner narratives with more clarity and less blame. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    11 min
  7. A Man Not of His Time

    2025-10-04

    A Man Not of His Time

    If the first part of my video was about how Spinoza broke free from the world he was born into, this part is about what he built in its place. After his excommunication, he walked away from status, family, and comfort; and chose a life most people today would call austere. But that simplicity wasn’t poverty. It was freedom. Spinoza rented small rooms, owned almost nothing, and spent his days grinding lenses. It was work that was both painstaking and dangerous but perfectly matched to his love of precision and science. And while he quietly crafted microscopes and telescopes for Europe’s scientists, he was also crafting something far more ambitious: a philosophy that explained the very fabric of reality. His life became an embodiment of his ideas. He lived by reason, not impulse. He ate plainly, drank lightly, and refused wealth or academic prestige. He even turned down a professorship at Heidelberg because it threatened his independence. He cultivated a calm, almost unshakable temperament. No praise inflated him, no criticism disturbed him. And all the while, he wrote; refining Ethics, exchanging ideas with the brightest minds of his age, and living the principles he was writing about. What’s striking to me is how ordinary his life looked from the outside. A quiet man, walking, reading, sketching, thinking. But in that ordinariness, he built a philosophy that still challenges how we understand reality and our place in it. His existence was proof that a life stripped of distraction and delusion isn’t empty; it’s powerful. This second part isn’t just about Spinoza the thinker, it’s about Spinoza the man who turned his philosophy into a daily practice. And perhaps that’s the most radical thing of all, not just to think differently, but to live differently. I have heard it said that the most holy men walk among us and you wouldn’t even know. I would put Spinoza into this category. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    9 min
  8. A Man Not of His Time, Born Centuries Too Soon

    2025-10-02

    A Man Not of His Time, Born Centuries Too Soon

    We throw the name Spinoza around as if we know who he was. Baruch, or Benedictus if you prefer the Latinised version, was a philosopher born too soon. But most people only know the myth, not the man. This video is about the real Spinoza; a man who lived every word of his philosophy. He didn’t just talk about reason, he embodied it. Born into a storm of religious chaos in 17th-century Europe, Spinoza stood apart. A Sephardic Jew whose family fled persecution in Iberia, he was educated in his traditional Jewish doctrine. Yet he was drawn irresistibly to science, mathematics, and radical new ideas. He challenged the doctrines of his own faith, questioning the divine authorship of the Torah and rejecting the idea of a God as some celestial man issuing decrees. That courage got him excommunicated by the early age of 23. And yet, that exile was his freedom. Stripped of the community that had defined him, Spinoza carved out a life on his own terms: modest, ascetic, devoted to thinking and to truth. He ground lenses by day and explored the depths of reality by night, walking, sketching, and crafting a philosophy that still outstrips the intellectual courage of most modern minds. This is the story of a man born centuries too soon. Someone who refused to live by inherited myths and instead built a life on reason alone. If you want to understand where radical thinking really begins (and what it costs) this is where you start. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

    10 min
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Negative Philosophy examines what you can't think your way to — the part of how you function that runs below the level of reading, understanding, or deciding. Each episode works with the philosophical lineage of Spinoza, Gurdjieff, Zen, and the Stoics, alongside Martin Butler's framework for psychological realism. A different quality of attention to what is actually happening — not self-improvement, not optimism. Debbie Butler is a psychologist and practitioner of Negative Philosophy. deborahbutler.substack.com

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  • Skapad av
    Deborah Butler
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    16
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    © Deborah Butler
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    Negative Philosophy