Conscious Nonsense

Jiawei
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A one-take, unscripted reflection on what it feels like to live, notice, and grow with awareness. No conclusions. Just presence.

Episodes

  1. 2 DAYS AGO

    Ep#05 The Love I Carry [Valentine’s Edition]

    Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. But this episode isn’t about romantic love. It’s about the quieter kind. For most of my twenties, love meant validation. From professors. From colleagues. From partners. If I wasn’t being seen, I didn’t feel loved. In this episode, I reflect on how my understanding of love has changed — from chasing confirmation outside to learning how to hold myself when no one else does. I share: – A moment at work where my body resisted pushing forward – The tension of coming home and still hiding parts of myself – Why love and fear often coexist – A love letter I wrote to myself on a flight home Growth, for me, now means this: I don’t need to repeatedly confirm who I already am through relationships or environments. There are parts of me still becoming. And not every space is ready to hold them yet. So I allow myself to still be becoming. Happy Valentine’s Day — to the quiet love that holds you when no one else does.

    29 min

  2. 2 FEB

    Ep#04 Resistance, Expression & Letting Go of Frameworks

    Lately, I’ve been feeling a persistent sense of resistance. Not because I ran out of ideas — but because I stepped away from familiar frameworks that once made my expression feel safe. In this episode, I reflect on how structure and logic used to give me a sense of control, and how expressing myself without them brought up hesitation, self-consciousness, and concern about how my words might affect others. I talk about learning to trust expression that is spontaneous, unstructured, and imperfect — and why authenticity doesn’t need logic or coherence to be valid. This shift has also changed how I move through life.I’m making decisions more intuitively, handling unexpected situations with more ease, and noticing a quieter, deeper sense of self-trust and emotional safety. This episode is a reflection on resistance, presence, and creative expression beyond frameworks — on finding safety not in structure, but in staying with what is real. There’s nothing you need to take away from this.You’re welcome to listen loosely, drift in and out, or simply stay.

    27 min

  3. 24 JAN

    Ep#03 We Can Be More Than One Thing

    In this episode, I reflect on the many versions of myself that exist at the same time. The different roles we inhabit in society.The parts of us that feel confident, and the parts shaped by insecurity.The quiet tension between wanting to be whole and fearing that we might be too much. I share how I’ve learned to meet my own insecurity without trying to eliminate it, and I close the episode by reading a short piece of writing that emerged from this reflection. This is not an episode about becoming one clear identity.It’s about allowing multiple selves to coexist — even when they feel contradictory. No conclusions.Just presence. Sharing the letter below: Grass in Motion The snow on the grass in the park outside my home is slowly melting.Green begins to surface again—quietly, persistently—along the path I walk every morning on my way to work. Day after day, the route repeats itself, yet it never truly stays the same. I find myself in awe of the resilience of grass.Once vivid, it was pressed under frost, diluted into lighter shades—green softened into pale yellow. The muted lawn merges with thin crystals of ice, as if quietly signaling that another spring is already underway. Within these ordinary, easily overlooked moments, something abundant is happening. Change is not dramatic here; it is continuous. The world is always in progress—not only my own life, not only the people who pass through it, but also the grass beneath our feet, unseen and unnamed. They, too, are changing. They, too, are becoming.

    30 min
  4. Ep#02 I Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Begin

    18 JAN

    Ep#02 I Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Begin

    This episode is about choosing to begin without waiting to be ready. I talk about starting before perfection, allowing myself to be seen while still figuring things out, and consistency sometimes matters more than quality in the early stages of creation. This is not a guide, not a conclusion, and not a productivity rule. Just an honest moment of showing up. No edits. No script. Just presence.

    30 min

  5. 11 JAN

    Ep#01 I Didn’t Know Where to Begin

    This is the first episode of Conscious Nonsense. A one-take, unscripted reflection recorded without a plan — starting from not knowing where to begin,and staying with whatever shows up. In this episode, I share my excitement, fear, and pride in starting this podcast journey. Week one began with a fight against the bad flu — and I won! xd Through that experience, I found myself truly reconnecting with my body and learning to listen to it. Happy new year everyone! My New Year’s intention is to open myself to the world. I ended this episode with a small moment of singing. See you next week! No conclusions. Just presence.

    30 min
  • 5 Episodes

About

A one-take, unscripted reflection on what it feels like to live, notice, and grow with awareness. No conclusions. Just presence.

Information

  • Creator
    Jiawei
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    5
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Jiawei
  • Show Website
    Conscious Nonsense