Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

Rebekah Taussig & Caitlin Metz
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Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

Scratch That is a weekly podcast with queer illustrator Caitlin Metz and disabled storyteller Rebekah Taussig, two friends trying to figure out how to be parents and people at the same time. Caitlin and Rebekah delve into heartfelt, honest conversations with caregivers who are going off script, starting from scratch, and building alternate paths. Join our community on Patreon!

  1. 1 DAY AGO

    ⚡️ Writing Family Manifestos and Trying Again

    We gave ourselves a homework assignment – huddle up with our partners and our kids and write a little family manifesto. How simple! How fun! How sweet! LOL. Turns out it might be a bit trickier than our rosy idealism pictured. Today, we share the ragged and the spectacular parts of the experience, offer up the manifestos we made, and brainstorm what we want to try next time. Tune In to Hear Up Talk About: 🌟 The stakes of manifesto writing that tripped us up from the start. 🔍 What the process of this project revealed to us about ourselves and our families. 🎵 The part of the creation process when Rebekah's family really got on board. 📜 Manifestos as a living breathing document. 🧠 A juicy brainstorm of different manifesto mediums to try. 📋 Caitlin's mini workshop on the purpose of a manifesto and how to approach making one. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Listen to Rebekah's family's manifesto here. Our conversation with S. Bear Bergman And his book – Special Topics in Being a Parent: A Queer and Tender Guide to Things I've Learned About Parenting, Mostly the Hard Way Caitlin always recommends using Lisa Congdon's Values Deck to kick off a manifesto draft. The manifesto workbook Caitlin uses in their workshops (attached below!) As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What questions do you have about manifesto writing? What sounds daunting or exciting about them? If you end up trying this, let us know how it goes! Ragged, spectacular, or anything in between – all parts are welcome. 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    38 min

  2. 14 JUL

    ⚡️ The Parenting Goals We're Letting Go

    This episode is a happy goodbye to all the good parenting goals we are sending off to sea. There is only so much we can prioritize, so much energy, so many battles to fight and hills to die on. Today, we each share three parenting goals we really do value, but can't value enough to keep beating our heads against the wall for. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Sarah Knight's TED Talk "The Magic of Not Giving a F***" Our conversation with S. Bear Bergman where he talks about choosing 2-3 things to teach our kids. Our conversation with James and Lucy Catchpole where they talk about limitations as the parameters for a particular, beautiful life. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What are the parenting goals you're ditching, dropping, toasting, gently releasing? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    43 min

  3. 7 JUL

    🎙️ Parenting Advice That Doesn't Suck with S. Bear Bergman

    Today on Scratch That we chat with the tender and wise trailblazer S. Bear Bergman. We found Bear when we fell head-over-heels in love with his parenting book, Special Topics In Being a Parent. Unlike so many parenting advice we've read, Bear's approach felt adaptable and possible. It was only after we booked our interview that we realized Bear is a BFD. A founding member of the very first Gay/Straight Alliance, Bear has spent the last several decades telling stories, writing books, and inviting humans into greater justice, equity, and inclusion. He is brimming with deep insight, flexible scripts, and the most non-judgmental advice. We're excited to share our conversation with you💛 Tune in to hear us talk about: 🍳 The two-ingredient recipe that makes the tone of Bear's parenting book different from so many others. 🔬 The part about trial and error that Bear thinks we don't talk about enough. 🤝 Collaborative vs controlling parenting. 🔨 The part of parenting differently than you were parented that no one talks about. 🔎 A clarifying strategy for the chaotic parenting moments when so many things are going wrong. 🚮 Figuring out what parenting priorities to simply let go of. 🫜 Trading a family tree for a family garden. 🚫 The 2 kids' shows Caitlin and Bear CANNOT abide by. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Special Topics in Being a Parent: A Queer and Tender Guide to Things I've Learned About Parenting, Mostly the Hard Way Special Topics in Being a Human: A Queer and Tender Guide to Things I've Learned the Hard Way about Caring For People, Including Myself The song Bear added to our collective Scratch That Spotify playlist – "Might as Well Dance" by Patty Larkin As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you!  🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    1h 1m

  4. 23 JUN

    🌪️ How do we talk with our kids about the scary stuff in the world??

    How do we talk to our kids about war, death, families being separated, floods, guns, violence, any of it? Should we shield them as much and as long as possible? Should we hold their hand as we tell them what we know to be real? How do we balance protecting our kids with equipping them? These questions feel important, the stakes feel high, we're doing our best, and making it up as we go. Today we dive into it as we try to figure out how we want to navigate the conversations that scare us. Tune in to hear us talk about: 🫟 The sticky conversations Caitlin loves diving into with their kid and why some topics feel so much harder. 🇺🇸 How our parents' talked with us about politics in the 90s. 🪦 The very different responses we had to our kids seeing dead animals and the one thread we share. 📚 How Caitlin is using books and stories as invitations and bridges into hard conversations. 🪧 The conversations Rebekah had with a fellow protester that illuminated how she wants to move through today's politic landscape with her son. ⚙️ A potentially measured and responsible new strategy to equip our kids for the scary realities of today's world. Mentioned In Today's Episode: What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What helps you navigate conversations (with your kids or anyone else!) about the scary things happening in the world right now? And what book recommendations do you have? For any age! What are the book that are helping you understand our history and humanity? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    45 min

  5. 16 JUN

    🎙️Trading the Status Quo for the Risk of a Dream with Kate Wieners

    A year ago, Kate Wieners quit her corporate job to open a cozy, plant-filled bookstore, Monstera's Books. And while it sounds like the pitch for a movie we'd all love, today Kate talks with us about the real-life, fleshed-out story. What stars had to align for her to leave the "good enough" setup she already had for the risk of a dream? What has it been like to be a partner and a parent as she makes this great leap? What is it like to create a third-space community around books and storytelling right now? And does the nervous-scary of a big risky dream ever go away? Tune in to hear us talk about: ☎️ The story of the old 70s phone they use in the store and all the ways it sets the tone for the shop. 💫 What Kate's husband Justin said when he heard her name her bookstore dream out loud at a party. ％ The strategies Kate and Justin have developed to navigate living, parenting, and working together. 🔧 The big and unexpected monkey wrench in their plans and how that became the scary ideal way to actually launch their plans. 🔔 The epiphany Kate had while waiting for someone else to tell her she had a brilliant plan. 🌿 Why Kate thinks Monstera's Books is a worthy competitor to Amazon. 🫟 Just making the next decision and getting comfortable with chaos. 📚 The conversation Kate overheard in the bookstore that highlighted the unique power of third spaces (especially ones that center storytelling). 💓 The tremendous value/power of little risks. (Or how something as simple as a romance bookclub could save someone's life.) ✨ How paying attention to the sparkle dream in ourselves can meet a much larger need in our communities. ⚡️ What Kate hopes her daughters take away from growing up in this bookstore. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Two books recommended by Monstera's Books patrons – The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese and A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas Two of Kate's top book recommendations – I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell and Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! Shout out your favorite local bookstore! Tell us about your favorite third space! Share a little or big dream that's been tugging at your chest! We're here for all of it💛 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    1h 4m

  6. 9 JUN

    🌪️ From Preschool to Higher Ed – What We've Learned About Learning

    What does living alongside a toddler reveal to us about our high school and college students? How does time in the classroom inform the way we approach learning with our pre-schoolers? On today's episode, we reflect on our experiences teaching and learning and cobble together a list of guiding principles. Tune in to hear us talk about: ✨ Curiosity as sacred. ⏱ The cost of separating places and times of learning. 🌱 Shame vs safety in a learning environment. ❓ The power of asking "silly" questions and admitting you don't know. ☁️ Valuing "idleness" in a world that rewards gold stars. 🧶 Why it's good and important to make so many crappy things. 🥁 Continually seeking out experiences where we're not very skilled. ⚡️ The scrappy trickster energy required to view constraints as possibility. Mentioned In Today's Episode: "Dispatches from the Ruins" is an essay in Ross Gay's book Inciting Joy. Here's the clip of Ira Glass talking about the gap between your good taste and what you are able to make when you start out. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What were your experiences in school? What worked well and what do you wish had been different? How do you think about education and learning as an adult? And does that show up in how you parent/re-parent now? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    49 min

  7. 2 JUN

    ⚡️Pregnancy, Gender, and News!

    As we kick off Pride month, we turn over what it means to bring a new person into a scary world, especially as a queer parent, and the ways pregnancy has helped Caitlin understand and live out their gender. Tune in to hear us talk about: 🫢 A super big announcement! ❓ Asking questions to understand the ways we experience pregnancy and parenthood differently. ⚖️ Caitlin processing the need they felt to choose between being visibly queer and keeping their kids safe in public. 🏳️‍🌈 Why being pregnant with Charlie propelled Caitlin to come out as nonbinary. 🔔 The moment Caitlin rung the bell that could not be unrung and showed up as their nonbinary self to people that mattered. 👥 Modeling for our kids an alignment in how we show to the world and how we show up inside our homes. Mentioned In Today's Episode: If you'd like to swaddle Caitlin in a little care for this new being that's coming to be, check out their registry here 💛 As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! Drop your thoughts on this conversation below💛 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    45 min

  8. 26 MAY

    🎙️ The Hilarious & Heartbreaking with Shane & Hannah Burcaw

    Today on Scratch That we chat with one of the most beloved couples on the internet – Squirmy and Grubs! (Also known as Shane and Hannah Burcaw🤗) They talk with us about what it's like to share their personal lives with an enormous following, how they cope with internet hate and real life ignorance about disability/relationships, why they wrote their new book Interabled: True Stories of Love and Disability, the perspective they've gained through their experience with IVF, and loads more! There was much giggling. There were sobering truths. There was a story about the time Hannah ate edibles and then thought a real life witch approached them on the street. We're so excited to share this one with you💛 Tune in to hear us talk about: 🤡 Little Shane and Little Hannah as two rule-following class clowns. 🧑‍🦼The shame Shane had about his disability when he was younger and the coping mechanisms he developed to be seen as fully human. 💞 Why we think so many people struggle to understand how disability, care giving, and romantic relationships can co-exist. 📣 Why Shane and Hannah continue to share their stories publicly, even when their comment sections fill up with ignorance and hate. 🛠 The tools Hannah & Shane have found to protect themselves from ignorance. ⚡ Disability as a disruption to narrow expectations around traditional gender norms and inter-generational living. 🗺The perspective they've gained from their IVF experience. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Shane and Hannah's book, Interabled: True Stories of Love and Disability And their YouTube channel, Squirmy and Grubs Sara Hendren's book What Can a Body Do? And here is an interview Sara Hendren did with Krista Tippett on the On Being podcast about an obligation to others as valuable within human society. The 3 songs Hannah and Shane added to our collective Scratch That Spotify playlist – Fortune Teller by Sea Lemon, Get Better by alt-J, and look up by Joy Oladokum. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you!  🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    1h 3m
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About

Scratch That is a weekly podcast with queer illustrator Caitlin Metz and disabled storyteller Rebekah Taussig, two friends trying to figure out how to be parents and people at the same time. Caitlin and Rebekah delve into heartfelt, honest conversations with caregivers who are going off script, starting from scratch, and building alternate paths. Join our community on Patreon!

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