The Grade Cricketer RARE

India win the Border Gavaskar series for the 4th time in a row but not before Usman’s emotional hundred, Cam Green’s first hundred, Shubman’s return hundred and Kohli’s drought-breaking hundred. 22 wickets in 5 days. Good stuff, fellas! To that end, we review the series as a whole and what we learnt, if anything. I think it’s that Axar Patel is Bradman. New Zealand have done it again in absolute thriller in Christchurch against Sri Lanka. All the best, lads. The WPL makes us feel safe and scared and we also learn about peripheral characters we’ve not heard of before. Temba Bavuma scores his first hundred in 7 years and Maharaj ruptures his achilles while celebrating a wicket against a West Indian team that hasn’t won an away series in nearly 30 years. Shaun Marsh retires from first class cricket this week, so we ponder if what we got was enough. #AskTGC is from a mix of characters called Anon, Fairbody and The Snake which sees weed brownies, MDMA and bowel movements all combining for a troubling tale of mixing drugs with run outs.
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Sure, Australia made history with one of its finest ever performances, but instead we ask: what’s doing vis a vis decks, India? But seriously, Australia was good: Carey kept masterfully, the spinners stirred, Smith marshalled, and is there anything better than seeing The Bin Lid On A Shit Tip? We move to Ahmedabad where Modi will hold court in his 132,000K seat stadium where no one can get a ticket. Elsewhere, The WPL has started explosively. It’s a red-letter day for quality women’s cricket, and a horrendous day for Australian domination. Thankfully, two white blokes are here to explain why. Some other international stuff happened involving England, Bangladesh, South Africa and the Windies, too. Thanks to our guests this week, Trent Copeland and Ramachandra Guha, who each brought class, grace, intelligence and logic to an otherwise meandering offering, which concluded with a question about getting champed mid-Coitus. Speaking of being champed, if you’re considering abandoning TGC on account of us speaking to Mr Guha, thanks for your support, and see ya later (champ). Thanks.
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New Zealand pull off their greatest ever Test win in Wellington after being asked to follow on. England are still having fun though. Harry Brook hundreds, Joe Root's reverse laps, Kane Williamson's record breaking innings and Michael Bracewell forgetting how to run. The 2nd Test had it all. Is the Australian Women's team our greatest of all time? Their second World Cup three-peat certainly has us asking questions about what's next for our women. Gallipoli? Southern Cross tattoos? Sledging? Brett Lee in the sheds? And we look ahead to the 3rd Test between India and Australia where one thing is for certain: we're about to get very angry about things again. Fortunately, Greg Chappell has the answers. #AskTGC pertains to English gloating and online discourse.
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Another game, another capitulation, another meltdown. After a promising start, Australia found a new way to fall to India, tangled in Ashwin and Jadeja’s web. Thankfully, Healso and Dos are on the case, one with a masterclass in trackies, another with a literal broom on the pitch. Very simple, Chalk. Elsewhere, Australia’s women do it with their eyes closed, so we provide news of their impeding win ahead of time. No doubt that will be appreciated. Bazball reign supreme in Mt Maunganui, so as a coping mechanism we focus on journalist reactions and the sheer wetness of The Nighthawk. To wrap up, AskTGC is about confusing Faf du Plessis with linguistics.
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Direct from Hyderabad, Higgos and Pez bring you most correct and accurate analysis of Australia's latest Indian capitulation. Where did it all go wrong? Selections, prejudice, intrigue, doctoring and ointment all figure. But most compellingly: the importance of a harder nose. Harder anything. Never smart, always hard. #justinlanger. We're also here for the Women's World Cup where Australia destroys again, England play NZ in a series about identity more than anything else, and AskTGC is - frankly - about adultery, grassing, reliable witnesses and group sex.
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It’s “the jewel in the crown”, “the toughest test in cricket”, and, according to Steve Smith, “bigger than The Ashes”. Yes, Usman Khawaja, The Grade Cricketer and Australia heads to India to commence the final six months in the history of Test cricket - and we’re frothing. We cover visas, selections, purity, Ashwin impersonators, big boy breakthroughs and other obscure matters ahead of the first Test in Nagpur, starting Thursday.

Elsewhere, the Scorchers once again win the Bucket on Your Bonce League, and deservedly. Cooper Connolly is all jaw and sex, AT does the business, and they’re probably good because they ignore much of the guest player gear (with the understandable exception of Faf). But do we need to sell it all to India? This is the question of the Asian Century.

Jofra’s back and Pez would really like x2 tickets to Lord’s on Days 1 and 2. Completely unlikely, but would like to go with Dad. In the context of all causes it is not even remotely important. And yet, here we are. 

Our Women should win the World Cup and break records - anything else will be deeply concerning. Moreover, they have one game to get themselves a massive WPL contract. All the best, friends.

Then we talk about 90s jingles for 10 minutes, before AskTGC wanders through the common state of delusion one engages when returning to the game in an oversize golf shirt.
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