The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated weekly

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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  1. 12 hr ago

    Our Phone Odyssey Begins

    Could you live without your phone for a month? 🩵To hear more episodes like this, join A Little More Imperfects!Patreon - www.patreon.com/theimperfects Apple - http://apple.co/theimperfectsThis week it's just the three of us. And like Odysseus before us, we embark on a life changing epic. Where he fought the trojans, monsters, cannibals, sirens, the oceans, a cyclops and ACTUAL GODS!! We will do something even ‘EPIC…ER’. We’re tackling our phones. Each of us take on a month-long challenge to fix our worst phone habits, inspired by the ‘god of no phones’ - Christopher Nolan and the release of THE ODYSSEY (if that wasn’t obvious already, but we promise this episode isn't an ad). We then share some of our favourite bits from behind the pay wall, from our Patreon/Subscriber community. Ryan has an unplanned, very generous on-air hair donation; Josh shares a bit from a book which changed his life a bit; which leads to one of the most honest conversations he and Hugh have ever had on (or off) the show, about comparison, self-esteem, and growing up idolising your older brother. This is one epic journey. 00:00 — The Phone Odyssey Begins08:54 — Our Phone-Free Pledges19:11 — Modelling Better Habits at Home25:29 — Hairing is Caring37:57 — A Bit From a Book That Changed Josh’s Life a Bit48:18 — The Conversation Between Brothers That Needed to Be Had 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Bronte Campbell - Comparison, The thief of joy ****https://bit.ly/49S1S7C Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey Print for Dads https://bit.ly/4w4ohI8 How (and why) Ryan Dumped his iPhone https://bit.ly/3T3xdyM Sam Willoughby - The tragic injury that changed his life (and Ryan’s Finnastride admission) https://bit.ly/4fa5u8p 📖 Things to read The midnight library - Matt Haigh https://bit.ly/4vGgnE0 How Proust can change your life - Alain de Botton https://bit.ly/4dYfCkd In search of lost time - Marcel Proust https://bit.ly/4vt3lJG 📺Things to watch The Odyssey https://bit.ly/4vY8nij Christopher Nolan on 60minutes https://bit.ly/4yjfZgX 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/  🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/  🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/  The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Our Phone Odyssey Begins

  2. 6 days ago • Subscribers Only

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office

    What shenanigans did Hugh get up to this week? Hint: it involves the work shower and a missing towel. Also in this episode, we hold another semi-regular book club to talk about a bit from a book that changed Producer Bell’s life a bit. We pull a reflection from the pond, and ponder (let it be known that George came up with this pun first) about what lights us up that we’re no longer doing. And FINALLY Ryan gets a chance to talk about his mixed netball talents. And then Hugh brings a quote, and promises to drive more engagement in patreon. 🎧 Things we talked about on this episode - A Place of Greater Safety, by Hilary Mantel - https://bit.ly/4oJT1ex - To send in a reflection to the pond - www.theimperfects.com.au/contact

    Why Hugh Was Naked At The Office

  3. 12 Jul

    Dr Emily - You, Me & Jealousy

    To be jealous is to be human. It is what you do with that feeling that counts. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is in the studio to talk about THAT podcast moment: the one where Ryan admitted he was jealous of Hugh and Hamish Blake’s relationship. The one that lives in Imperfects history. According to Dr Em, we develop the emotion of jealousy at just 9 months old, and it shows up everywhere; family, work, school, friends. Feelings around jealousy can be extremely painful, especially if it is accompanied by shame. In this episode, Dr Emily explores why jealousy can be so dangerous when not listened to, and why our jealous behaviour can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. See you on the other side. If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/dlufNQ7iXCc 00:00 - The Day Has Arrived 02:48 - When Ryan Revealed He Was Jealous of Hugh & Hamish 7:45 - Shame Tells You Not To Speak It 10:02 - Harry Styles Walks Into a Super Market 15:54 - You’re Making My Dog Jealous 22:31 - Feeling Jealous vs Being Jealous 43:49 - Hugh, Ryan & Hamish: 4 Years Later 47:50 - How To Have The Conversation (And Build Trust) 59:32 - You Can Feel Jealous AND Still Trust🫖 Episodes mentioned in this episode Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/3QG8MXo 💻Things to check out Uncertainty vs inevitable pain study - https://bit.ly/43NWFKQ 🎵Songs to listen to Jealous Guy by John Lennon - https://bit.ly/43NWzCY 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr Emily - You, Me & Jealousy

  4. 5 Jul

    Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey-print For Dads

    Want can you learn from playing with a child? In today's Academy of Imperfection, Bluey creator Joe Brumm joins us (for real life), with Hamish Blake stepping in as guest host. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this episode we dig into the world of play - ”the voluntary overcoming of unnecessary obstacles”, we find out what makes a ‘good’ player and why kids' imaginative play tends to fade around age 12. Josh and Hugh take the chance to wax lyrical about their favourite Bluey episodes, Rain, Fruit Bat, Born Yesterday, The Decider (to name a few). And all three dads also share some moments of parenting shame as we discuss the constant battle for attention between our phones, and our kids. 00:00 - Hamish Blake from Rove 08:13 - Bluey, The Most Streamed TV Show of All Time 11:51 - The Best Definition of Play You've Ever Heard 21:00 - It’s All Improvising 38:02 - Permission to Pretend Again 51:20 - My Kids Wouldn’t Have The Dad They Have Without Bluey 54:00 - Doing Something Just for Fun Is a Valid Reason 58:07 - Being Present In a World of Distractions 01:22:00 - The Bluey Episode That Made a Room Full of Footballers Cry 01:27:16 - Let Them Lead and See What Happens If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/eMigxjhCkcs  🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode How (and why) Ryan dumped his iphone https://bit.ly/4vi83uA 📺 Things to watch Bluey - Shadowlands https://bit.ly/4eTzKTA Bluey - Calypso https://bit.ly/3QT6NyT Bluey - Magic Xylophone https://bit.ly/4gdY057 Bluey - Born Yesterday https://bit.ly/3SvY5HA Bluey - Bin Night https://bit.ly/4gd89Pt Bluey - The decider https://bit.ly/4eHS1V4 Bluey - Faceytalk https://bit.ly/4wpWWju Bluey - Pass the parcel https://bit.ly/4gi9PXU 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey-print For Dads

  5. 29 Jun • Subscribers Only

    Fake Confidence ‘til You Make Confidence (with Dr Emily)

    Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most confident of all? Ah, self-confidence. What a slippery, hard-to-find, hard-to-balance, hard-to-practice quality that we all want to get better at. LUCKILY, Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to answer ALL (as many as we could get to) of your questions about self-confidence. We go into; - confidence the action comes before confidence the feeling - mindful self-compassion is a crucial element to building confidence - top down vs bottom up approaches of growing confidence (knowing is not enough) - thinking about how you would feel if you didn’t take the risk? - should you lie to your kids about their sporting ability? 🫖 Things we mentioned - Dr Emily - What To Do With Envy - https://bit.ly/4etuPrZ - Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/4uJdp0G - The Academy of Imperfection - Dr Billy Garvey, Paediatrician - https://bit.ly/4epVV3m - Dr Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men - https://bit.ly/4aaWLjk - Wise Feedback Research - https://bit.ly/4a7aOX2 - Robyn Walser’s work - https://bit.ly/4vtzNME

    Fake Confidence ‘til You Make Confidence (with Dr Emily)

  6. 28 Jun

    Janelle Booker & Hamish Blake - The ADHD Playbook for Parents

    How do you raise a child whose brain works differently? This episode is for parents of kids with ADHD. And parents who have ADHD. And people who don’t have a diagnosis, but would consider themselves ‘fast and loose’. And for everyone who knows someone who fits the above criteria. 💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Janelle Booker, a psychologist who specialises in ADHD, is BACK, this time, to talk to parents of ADHD kids, and how to parent when you yourself have ADHD. And also, ADHD-curious Hamish Blake is here too. We look at the role of dopamine, energy vs stressors, and how to make your mornings less chaotic and more compassionate. Hamish and Janelle. What a duo. 0:00 – A dynamic duo: Hamish and Janelle5:58 – The penny drop moment for Hugh11:35 – ADHD or Fast and Loose?19:56 – The beauty and beast of ADHD brains22:38 – The life of an ADHD kid27:16 – A crash course on dopamine37:26 – Structure, sleep and school44:38 – Identity and diagnosis55:13 – ADHD kids and friendships1:02:50 – Parenting WITH ADHD1:16:29 – Finding and supporting regulation1:23:13 – Slo-pamine1:28:54 – Let’s talk about the strengths1:34:35 – Get ‘em outside! If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/WwEBTIMohwg 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/4g0CUXK Hugh’s ADHD…brief - https://bit.ly/4g567Rw Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://bit.ly/4uYFbGS 💻Things to check out Janelle’s website - https://bit.ly/3QJdO5t The MEHRIT Centre - https://self-reg.ca/ The ADHD Parent Circle Online Program - https://bit.ly/4g5Anvu ADHD Women’s Support Group (Perinatal and Early Parenting) - https://bit.ly/3T0BJ0N Online Q&A with Janelle about ADHD parenting - https://bit.ly/4g5wneu 📖Things to read ADHD: A Delightful Human Difference. Reframing ADHD for Good, by Janelle Booker and Matthew Johnson - https://bit.ly/4w7scU3 🎧Things to listen to Hamish & Andy podcast - https://bit.ly/43Z0RHJ Controlling Your Dopamine For Motivation, Focus & Satisfaction, by Huberman Lab - https://bit.ly/4xPnMCZ 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Janelle Booker & Hamish Blake - The ADHD Playbook for Parents

  7. 21 Jun

    Jimmy Wales (Wikipedia) - In Trust We Trust

    How do you choose who to trust? And how do you show others that you are trustworthy? 💌Join 8,100+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In this Academy of Imperfection, we are joined by Jimmy Wales, co-founder of Wikipedia. No biggie (BIG biggie). And if there’s one thing Jimmy knows, it's how to garner and imbue the trust of millions. You’re right in feeling like the general level of trust globally is low right now, but this episode is here to step through Jimmy's 7 rules which will help you build, rebuild, and solidify what is in our innate human behaviour. Trust is important, and so is this conversation. 0:00 – BIG deal on the internet8:41 – The heart behind it all14:57 – Trust is always personal20:22 – It’s human nature23:33 – Good guys of the internet30:35 – Don’t take sides38:23 – The circle of trust40:15 – Own up46:03 – Let’s call them a civil person If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Z1SPClxSfYI 📖 Things to read The Seven Rules of Trust, by Jimmy Wales - https://bit.ly/4vi83uA 🎧Things to listen to How to Build (And Rebuild) Trust with Frances Frei - https://bit.ly/4vfMMSl 🏆Competitions to enter Imperfects LIVE at the Balwyn Cinema Gold Class Double Pass - https://bit.ly/3S0E0Zr 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Jimmy Wales (Wikipedia) - In Trust We Trust

  8. 15 Jun • Subscribers Only

    Are You Making Your Choices For Someone Else?

    Have you ever heard of the haircut runner? Well, you have now. We’ll let Hugh explain … In this *A Little More Imperfects* we’re back with A Bit Of A Book That Changed My Life a bit Club, and it’s Hugh turn. Prepare to be amazed as Hugh somehow brings two books, steals Ryan’s homework, and dissuades the audience from reading (in a book club). We play a game which aims to exploits Hugh’s ability to recall people’s names. AND THEN, we take a dip in the reflection pond, where one of our reflection-ers has answered the prompt “write a letter to your younger self”. Love ya! (the most) ⭐️LIVE PODCAST RECORDING AT BALWYN CINEMA ⭐️ - Tickets - https://bit.ly/4vq9JSr - Competiton - https://bit.ly/3S0E0Zr 🩷Other stuff we talked about in this episode - The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig - https://bit.ly/4vGgnE0 - Power vs Force, by Dr David R. Hawkins - https://bit.ly/4vLVyae - Discovering Your Brother’s Not Perfect - https://bit.ly/43CWbHn - Ryan Holiday - A Stoic Life & Death - https://bit.ly/4vN4Cf9 - Billie Eilish Vanity Fair series - https://bit.ly/4etBQcF - 7 Up documentary series - https://bit.ly/3S83EM1 - Ryan’s video to his younger self - https://bit.ly/4ev48mV

    Are You Making Your Choices For Someone Else?
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About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Information

  • Creator
    Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    332
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Show Website
    The Imperfects
  • Provider
    The Imperfects Podcast Pty Ltd

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