Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

Alyssa Zander
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Codependency Alchemy is a space for healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing. Join Alyssa for the vulnerable conversations, personal stories, and hard truths that help you reclaim your voice, set soul-aligned boundaries, and create relationships rooted in self-trust and authenticity. alyssaaazander.substack.com

  1. The fear that almost ruined my relationship (and the lesson that saved it)

    23 HR AGO

    The fear that almost ruined my relationship (and the lesson that saved it)

    A year ago today, Justin and I got kicked off a flight, and what could have been a total meltdown moment turned into one of the biggest relationship lessons of my life. Over pints in the Amsterdam airport, I realized I’d been carrying the same fear in new clothing and it was quietly robbing me of experiencing the love I already had in my relationship. In this episode, I share the full story and the mind-shattering epiphany that cracked me open: why trying to control your partner’s future resentment (or cheating, or rejection) only keeps you stuck, and how softening, trusting, and letting yourself be supported can actually transform your relationship. This episode is for you if: * You find yourself bracing for impact instead of enjoying the present. * Money, resentment, or “what if” fears creep into your love life. * You tend to control, fix, or over-function to feel safe. * You’re ready to experience what happens when you stop gripping and let yourself be held. This isn’t just a travel story, it’s how you can stop letting fear control your relationship and finally feel the safety and joy you’ve been craving. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    22 min
  2. When triggers show up in healthy relationships

    17 SEPT

    When triggers show up in healthy relationships

    Do you ever wonder why you still feel triggered, even in a healthy relationship? In this live episode of Codependency Alchemy, I share what I’ve been navigating with my partner around boundaries, conflict, and the uncomfortable truth that our partners can’t always meet us the way we want. We explore what to do when one person needs space and the other wants resolution now, why codependency pulls us toward fawning, and how to use inner child healing to find safety in yourself instead of demanding it from someone else. This episode is for you if: * You feel activated even in a good relationship and don’t know why. * You and your partner want opposite things in conflict (space vs. talk now). * You tend to shut down, over-explain, or fawn to avoid tension. * You’re ready to learn practices that bring compassion and clarity to your triggers. I wish someone would have told me that triggers aren’t proof your relationship is broken, but that they’re invitations. Every time you’re activated, your nervous system is pointing to an old story: I’m not safe, I’m not loved, I’m on my own. What if instead of demanding your partner to fix it, we asked ourselves: what part of me is being reactivated, and how can I meet that need myself? The moment you start giving yourself the safety, love, or validation you’re seeking, your triggers shift from enemies to guides. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    55 min
  3. Learning to choose yourself after a breakup

    10 SEPT

    Learning to choose yourself after a breakup

    Are you in the middle of heartbreak, doubting yourself, or terrified of being “too much” for others? In this intimate session episode of Codependency Alchemy, I guide a member through shadow work and inner child healing as she moves through fresh breakup grief, religious trauma, and the fear of disappointing others. Together, we uncover how old wounds show up in relationships, how to set boundaries with compassion, and how to finally choose yourself without shame. This episode is for you if: * You feel guilty for disappointing others or setting boundaries. * You’re in the messy middle of heartbreak or a major transition. * You often self-abandon to keep the peace or stay connected. * You’re ready to connect with your inner child and hear her wisdom. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    53 min
  4. What to do when your partner won’t hear you

    3 SEPT

    What to do when your partner won’t hear you

    Are you tired of sharing your feelings only to be met with blame-shifting, minimization, or deflection? In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I break down what’s really happening when your partner won’t hear you and how to stop silencing yourself just to keep the peace. We’ll explore why invalidation feels so triggering, the role of self-abandonment, and the four key steps to shift the dynamic: self-validation, boundary-setting, preparing for pushback, and discerning if your partner is willing to grow with you. This episode is for you if: * You leave conversations feeling unseen or “too much.” * Your partner often shifts blame, keeps score, or minimizes your feelings. * You find yourself over-explaining, caretaking, or shutting down to avoid conflict. * You’re ready to stop self-abandoning and start honoring your boundaries. When someone resists your boundary, it doesn’t mean you’re asking for too much— it means the dynamic is shifting. Their pushback is information, not evidence that you’re wrong. Think of it like closing a drive-thru window they’ve relied on for years: of course they’ll get upset at first. But holding firm invites them into growth, while abandoning yourself only keeps the cycle alive. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    43 min
  5. Healing and repair after rupture with my dad

    27 AUG

    Healing and repair after rupture with my dad

    Please listen to this episode with care, and caution. It may be triggering for people who experienced sexual abuse and trauma. I trust and honor your autonomy. This is the final episode in my four-part Camino series— and it’s the one that scared me the most to record, not because of the conversation with my dad, but because a lot of people don’t understand our relationship. In this conversation with my dad, we talk about what it looked like to repair after rupture, and why silence was no longer an option for us. As a family, we’ve been doing the work to stop cycles of trauma, especially around sexual abuse. And that meant we had to name what happened. We had to face the pain, the responsibility, and the fear… together. This episode is about what real accountability looks like— and how it can open the door to connection instead of cutting it off. We talk about the healing that became possible once my dad stopped avoiding and started taking ownership, and how that gave me, and all of us, something to rebuild from. If you come from a family that avoids hard conversations, or if you’ve ever wondered whether healing is possible after deep hurt— this episode is proof that it’s not easy, but it is possible. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    33 min
  6. The hardest conversation I’ve ever had (with my mom)

    20 AUG

    The hardest conversation I’ve ever had (with my mom)

    This is part three of my four-part Camino series — and I’m not going to lie: this was the hardest conversation I’ve ever had in my life. In this episode, I sit down with my mom to talk about the moment on the Camino when I finally told her the truth— the truth about how her choices impacted me, how much I’d been holding in, and how often I’d protected her feelings instead of honoring my own. It was uncomfortable, vulnerable, and deeply emotional… but it was also the beginning of something new between us. We talk about the roles we both played: her as the peacekeeper, trying to hold our family together at all costs— and me as the one who jumped into caretaking and making myself small to keep things “calm.” And what happened when we finally stopped managing each other’s emotions and started speaking honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying the emotional weight of your family, or that your healing depends on staying silent— I hope this episode cracks something open in you the way it did for me. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    39 min
  7. Why I stopped trying to save my brother

    13 AUG

    Why I stopped trying to save my brother

    This is part two of my four-part Camino series— where I’m sitting down with the people I love most to talk about the moments that changed everything. In this episode, I’m joined by my brother to talk about a pattern we didn’t even realize we were stuck in for years: me always trying to help, support, and take care of him… and how this codependent dynamic was negatively impacting our relationship. I share what it was like to realize that my need to feel needed was actually getting in the way of him building confidence and self-trust— and he shares what it felt like to grow up on the receiving end of that dynamic. This conversation is honest and tender. It’s about the unspoken roles we take on in families and what happens when we decide to lay them down. We talk about how we’re rebuilding trust, choosing new ways of relating, and learning how to see each other as the full humans we are now— not just who we were growing up. If you’ve ever felt like you had to hold it all together for a sibling— or are trying to unlearn patterns that kept you “connected” but not close… this one’s for you. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    43 min
  8. I thought I was helping… but I was actually holding us back

    6 AUG

    I thought I was helping… but I was actually holding us back

    Nine years ago, I walked the Camino de Santiago— thinking I was just going on an adventure with my little brother. But what I found on that path was something I didn’t expect: the truth about the role I was playing in my family’s pain. This is the first episode in a special 4-part series where I’m sharing the moments that changed my life and my relationships forever. In this one, I talk about three turning points on the Camino: one with my brother, one with my mom, and one with my dad. Moments where I realized that all my fixing, caretaking, and trying to keep the peace wasn’t helping... it was actually holding us back from the deeper healing we all needed. I share what happened, what it brought up in me, and how choosing honesty over harmony shifted the dynamic of our entire family. If you’ve ever felt responsible for everyone else’s emotions or found yourself avoiding the truth to keep others comfortable, I hope this episode lands in your heart. This is a story about forgiveness, accountability, and learning to tell the truth — not to hurt, but to heal. 🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now! 💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat ✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide 🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library ✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries 💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe

    48 min
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Codependency Alchemy is a space for healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing. Join Alyssa for the vulnerable conversations, personal stories, and hard truths that help you reclaim your voice, set soul-aligned boundaries, and create relationships rooted in self-trust and authenticity. alyssaaazander.substack.com

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