🔥 Fasting for children before bar/bat mitzvah (major vs minor fasts) – The common idea that a child must **fast three fast days before bar/bat mitzvah** is described as a **myth**; there is **no such halachic requirement**. – **Yom Kippur**: Shulchan Aruch rules that a **healthy child** should fast **two Yom Kippurs before bar/bat mitzvah** (e.g., a boy may already have to fast from age 11 if he is healthy). – **Training pattern (for healthy children)** as cited from Rav Schachter: – **2 years before bar/bat mitzvah**: fast the **entire Yom Kippur**. – **Previous 2 years** before that: fast **half-day** on Yom Kippur. – Before that age: **no fasting** at all. – **Minor fasts** (e.g., Tisha B’Av, 10 Teves, 17 Tammuz, Taanis Esther): **no fasting requirement for children** at all. – This applies **equally to boys and girls**, adjusted to their respective bar/bat mitzvah ages and health. 🎲 Gambling for money “just for fun” (Asmachta, gezel, addiction, communal practice) – The Gemara discusses **mesachek b’kuvia** (gambling) and whether gamblers are **invalid as witnesses**. Two main approaches: – **Gezel derabbanan / Asmachta**: the loser never fully intended to part with the money; gambling becomes a **form of rabbinic theft**. On this view, **even occasional gambling** is problematic. – **Eino osek b’yishuvo shel olam**: the gambler contributes nothing productive to society; invalid as an eid only if he **does this as his main occupation**. Occasional gambling would not invalidate eidus on this view. – Rambam writes that a person should **spend his entire life** involved in **constructive, beneficial pursuits** and chochmah; that ethos pushes strongly **against recreational gambling**, especially when it can become **habitual**. – Gambling is characterized as **highly addictive** and often **destructive** to families and finances. – Expert statistic mentioned: in forms of gambling with **instant payoff / instant “rush”**, about **~29%** of people may develop an addiction. – Addicted gamblers can incur **hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt**, sometimes even as kids/young adults. – Since it is often impossible to know in advance **who will become addicted**, the recommended approach is to **avoid gambling altogether**, even “occasional” or “for fun.” – Communal practice critique: – **Jewish organizations** that run “casino nights” are described as **misreading the communal reality**, given the level of gambling addiction among teens in both right-wing and modern Orthodox schools. – It is suggested to **object** to such events and question their appropriateness and leadership judgment. 🕯️ Benefiting from Chanukah candlelight via photography / monetizing images – The prohibition **“haneros halalu kodesh hem”** forbids **using the light of the Chanukah candles** for personal benefit (e.g., reading or working by that light). – Taking **photos or videos** of lit Chanukah candles, and **selling or monetizing** those images, is presented as **not a violation** of this prohibition: – The benefit is not from the **physical illumination** to see by, but from the **image/representation** being used to **publicize the mitzvah** (pirsumei nisa), which is in line with the purpose of the candles. – Additional leniencies: – After the **required burning time (approx. 30 minutes)**, leftover oil/wax no longer has the same restrictions; benefiting from that light is permitted. – A **shamash** candle provides heter to use the general light in the room, even if Chanukah lights contribute. – Overall, **using Chanukah candles as a background or prop for pictures, even monetized**, is treated as **permissible**. 🕯️🕍 Public menorah lightings with a beracha outside of shul (offices, concerts, events) – **Lighting in shul with a beracha** is a long-established, special **minhag**, and even that practice required significant effort by Rishonim/Acharonim to justify. – Many poskim **strongly oppose extending** this minhag to **other public spaces** (offices, concerts, lobbies, etc.) with a beracha: – Minchas Yitzchak: emphasizes how much effort went into justifying **shul lighting**; considers further extension (e.g., “at a gathering”) to be **beyond what Chazal intended**. – Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Rav Wosner, and the Klausenberger Rebbe: similarly resist adding **new berachot** on lightings in non-shul public places; view it as **unauthorized innovation** and part of a trend of “doing whatever seems right” in mitzvos. – Rav Ovadia Yosef (Yabia Omer) summarizes: – Notes many authorities who are **stringent**. – Cites **Mishnas Yaakov**, who is lenient because large public gatherings may generate **greater pirsumei nisa** than shul. – Concludes that in a **large communal gathering**, one **can rely** on the lenient opinions to make a **beracha**, but it is **preferable** to also **daven Ma’ariv there** so the lighting resembles the **shul context**. – Key conditions for shul lighting that are often ignored at public events: – Requires a **minyan** present. – Lighting should be **within the framework of tefillah** (e.g., between Mincha and Ma’ariv, or before Aleinu on Motzaei Shabbos) — not after davening is over and everyone has left. – **Chabad** practice: – Widely conducts **public menorah lightings with berachot** outside of shuls, relying heavily on **pirsumei nisa** as the core rationale and extending the shul-minhag logic to any major public display. – This approach is **not accepted** by many other poskim. 🍪 Cutting letters / shapes on food on Shabbos (Oreos, cakes, cookies) – Rama (Orach Chaim 340) forbids **cutting letters on food**, e.g., slicing a decorated cake such that letters are **cut or erased**. – Later poskim discuss ways to **avoid** the problem: – Cutting **between letters**. – **Removing the letters** with a thin layer of frosting. – Cutting the cake **before Shabbos**. – **Biting letters**: – Mishnah Berurah allows **biting into letters** on cakes or cookies. – Chazon Ish views this as a **double derabbanan** (shinui, and no intent to erase) and is stricter, but the **mainstream psak** follows Mishnah Berurah that **eating/biting is permitted**. – Possible reasoning: erasing is defined as removing writing from a **surface that remains**, but when **devouring the entire surface** (e.g., mouth), it does not constitute classic mochek. – Items like **Oreos or tea biscuits**, where the writing or design is **embossed into the dough**: – Mishnah Berurah explicitly allows **breaking such cookies**, not only biting them. – The text/design is **part of the structure** of the food, not “ink” or frosting on top. – Similarly, cutting a **cake shaped** like a figure (e.g., a letter-shaped cake, or a shaped object) is treated as **permissible** according to many. 🤝 Hugging female relatives (aunts, sisters, etc.) when becoming more observant – Halachic baseline: – Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer) and many poskim hold that **affectionate touching (chibuk venishuk)** of arayot (forbidden relations) is an **issur d’oraita**, following the Ramban and Shulchan Aruch HaRav. – Non-affectionate touch (**negi’ah shelo b’derech ta’ava**) is treated more leniently; the Shach permits certain forms. – **Age thresholds**: – Mishnah Berurah (Biur Halacha) suggests the issur of affectionate negi’ah begins around **age 3** for a girl. – Chazon Ish places practical concern a bit later, when the child is more **physically mature**. – Sources on close relatives: – Gemara Shabbos 13a: Ulla reportedly **kissed his sisters**, despite holding that such behavior is generally prohibited; Tosafos explains that he was a **unique tzaddik** with zero ta’iva. – Rambam (Issurei Biah 21:6): says that **kissing a sister or aunt even without ta’iva** is a **“davar meguneh” and “davar asur”**, presenting more stringent language. Some suggest “davar asur” here may be **strong ethical censure**, not necessarily formal issur, but it is clearly rejected behavior. – Contemporary guidance: – R’ Menashe Klein suggests there might be room for leniency in limited **kavod habriyot** situations where touch is clearly **not derech ta’iva**, but this is not a blanket heter. – He also criticizes **breaking a shidduch** solely because a girl hugs her brothers; calls such an approach **extreme and improper**, while still not fully endorsing the behavior. – Practical relational advice: – Where one is changing practice (e.g., a man stops hugging female relatives): instead of repeated awkward avoidance, it is often **better to have one difficult, honest conversation** explaining that: – You are **trying to keep halacha more strictly**. – You **respect them** and are not judging them. – You ask them to **respect your boundaries** just as you respect theirs. – Relatives may initially be **hurt or upset**, but over time often **adjust**; this is framed as a normal part of **“growing pains”** in relationships. 🧼 Removing stains from clothing on Shabbos (kibus/melaben, dust vs mud, practical options) – Key melachot: – **Melaben / kibbus** (laundering) includes **scrubbing, removing dirt, or improving the cleanliness/appearance** of garments. – Shulchan Aruch vs
