Disclaimer: This interview includes in-depth discussions of serious mental health topics, such as personality disorders and other highly sensitive subjects. These topics may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. In this episode of SHE MD, Mary Alice Haney and Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi sit down with Dr. Suzanne Wallach, a leading expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), to unpack what every woman should understand about emotional regulation, trauma, and personality disorders. From the difference between borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and narcissism to the real signs of emotional dysregulation, this conversation brings clarity to topics that are often misunderstood and misdiagnosed. Dr. Wallach breaks down how trauma shapes behavior, why narcissists rarely seek help, and what narcissistic abuse and gaslighting actually look like in relationships. The conversation also explores how to recognize unhealthy patterns, why you should never stay in a relationship where you’re being disrespected, and how emotional overwhelm impacts your ability to think clearly or problem-solve in the moment. You’ll also learn practical, science-backed tools you can start using immediately, including DBT techniques like the TIPP method for panic attacks and emotional distress. The episode expands into parenting and generational trauma, offering insight on how to raise emotionally healthy children through validation, boundaries, and consistency. If you’ve ever struggled with your emotions, relationships, or mental health, this episode is filled with actionable strategies to help you regain control and build a more stable, grounded life. Subscribe to SHE MD Podcast for expert tips on PCOS, endometriosis, fertility, hormonal balance, mental health, and more. Share with friends and visit SHE MD website and Ovii for research-backed resources, holistic health strategies, and expert guidance on women’s health and well-being. Sponsors Midi: Ready to feel your best and write your second act script? Visit JoinMidi.com today to book your personalized, insurance-covered virtual visit. Ka'Chava: Get 15% off your first order at kachava.com with code SHEMD. Talkiatry: Head to Talkiatry.com/shemd and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Ancient + Brave: Go to Ancientandbrave.com/planet and use the code SHEMD for 10 dollars off any purchase. MudWtr: Head to mudwtr.com and grab your starter kit today! Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal—up to 43% off starter kits, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code SHEMD. Gusto: Try Gusto today at gusto.com/SHEMD, and get three months free when you run your first payroll. What You’ll Learn The difference between borderline personality disorder (BPD), bipolar disorder, and narcissismWhy narcissists rarely self-diagnose, and why they’re difficult to treatSigns you may be experiencing emotional dysregulation or unresolved traumaWhat narcissistic abuse and gaslighting actually look likeWhy BPD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar disorderThe role of childhood trauma in personality disordersHow to tell if someone is a narcissist. or just not treating you wellWhy you should never stay in a relationship where you’re being disrespectedThe DBT “TIPP” method for panic attacks and emotional overwhelmHow to lower distress quickly and regain control of your thoughtsWhy you can’t problem-solve while emotionally floodedThe importance of sleep, nutrition, and physical health in emotional regulationHow to raise emotionally healthy children without shame or overpraiseWhy validation and boundaries must coexist in parentingHow generational trauma develops, and how to break the cycle Key Timestamps (0:00) Introduction to SHE MD (3:16) Welcome Dr. Suzanne Wallach! (4:54) What Is Narcissism? (6:36) Is Narcissism Based On Childhood Trauma? (8:27) Borderline Personality Disorder vs Narcissism? (12:41) Borderline vs Dependent Personality Disorder (13:37) Cluster B Disorders: Higher Risk of Self-Harm & Suicide (14:05) Women Are Overdiagnosed With Personality Disorders (15:58) Many Therapists Avoid Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (22:15) DBT Skills Coaching: 24/7 Support in Crisis Moments (23:36) Thoughts vs Ideation (27:00) How Dr. Suzanne Handle Patients With Suicide Plans (30:29) Does Trauma Come First in Treating Cluster B Disorders (37:35) How to Avoid Raising a Narcissist as a Parent (38:20) Praise Parenting: Where’s the Healthy Balance? (42:24) Opposite Parenting Styles After Divorce (48:01) Should Trauma Be the First Focus in Treating DBT? (58:54) How to Recognize BPD or Narcissism: Key Signs & Diagnosis (1:02:44) What Is Bipolar Disorder? (1:04:40) Bipolar vs BPD: Genetics vs Trauma (1:05:05) The TIPP Skill (1:13:45) Rapid Fire Questions Key Takeaways You can’t think clearly during emotional distress. Regulation must come firstPersonality disorders are treatable, and many can go into remissionTrauma often drives behavior, but it doesn’t excuse staying in harmful situationsEmotional regulation is a skill that can be learned with the right toolsBoundaries are essential, even when you understand someone’s painParenting requires both emotional validation and consistent consequencesSmall daily tools (like breathing or cold exposure) can dramatically reduce anxiety Guest Bio Dr. Suzanne Wallach is a clinical psychologist and DBT specialist based in Los Angeles. She is the founder of SoCal DBT, where she and her team provide high-fidelity, evidence-based Dialectical Behavior Therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Her work focuses on helping patients regulate emotions, heal from trauma, and build healthier relationships through practical, science-backed tools. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
