Nowhere Close

Nowhere Close
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We arrived to our late 20s to realize we are nowhere close to where we thought we’d be. Relatable? We thought so.

  1. 31/03/2021

    42 - Pics, Dicks & Marriage

    Howdy everybody, welcome back to another episode of NWC, Kate & Olivia have a totally real and not a joke business idea. We discuss that dating isn't for marriage, dating is for consistent d... attention and that sometimes a peen doesn't work and that's ok, but something that isn't ok is being an asshole about it.  Also, Olivia cracked the code on how to give yourself the ick and not like anyone anymore. Xoxoxo LDs

    33 min

  2. 24/03/2021

    41 - Sex, Spice & Porn

    Come along, we cover a lot this week and none of it is what we planned on! Join us as we talk about all the good things that happen while naked and possibly the secret to an actually happy relationship? IDK but Kate feels confident in it. We also talk about womb age, why Olivia and Kate can't marry each other and also why we can't watch each other's favorite porn stars. Topics and laughs galore because we are free from QTeen and had a drink (or 4) on our patio before recording. Love you sloohs xoxo

    48 min

  3. 17/03/2021

    40 - The Covid Special

    Well guys, if you follow us on any of our personal socials, you know, Covid has struck the NWC girls. I know you're wondering: who? how? when? ARE WE OKAY? Well to find out how we were post diagnosis, give this ole epi number 40 a listen and get the scope. We also chat about the importance of physical health as we get older, mostly to have stamina so you can be a *bad bitch* on top. Disclaimer, we recorded with masks on so it may sound weird but we did our best because we loved you and needed some entertainment, also this was Day 1 so spirits were high. Stay safe & healthy LDs xoxo

    41 min

  4. 10/03/2021

    39 - Vaccinated Hot Girl Summer

    Temperatures are on the rise and so our tensions in QTeen relationships. Now that we can actually see freedom (aka a vaccinated public) lining up with summertime, its not hard to see the correlation in couples fighting. Thus bring us to, Hot Girl (or boy) Summer. Life is about to change, time to have a conversation with your boo about the future. We don't mean marriage, more like going out and getting ratchet. Communication is key, as always. Xoxo

    44 min

  5. 03/03/2021

    38 - Avoid Eye Contact, Avoid Risk

    The NWC girls hate eye contact, which is good, but according to a ridiculous article Kate breaks down in this episode, it also counts as MICRO CHEATING. There's a few other ways to micro cheat and basically women can't do anything if we are trying to avoid that, its ridiculous and we don't think anyone actually believes this. A type of "cheating" people DO subscribe to revolves around social media. There is a phenomenon sweeping couples, FWB, crushes, whoever and that is following hot girls/guys on social and having your person get mad at you for it. For just FOLLOWING hot celebs or whatever. So we break down some social media etiquette and also hopefully remind you not to freak over little shit. So avoid eye contact, stay safe & let your bf follow J Lo in insta. Xoxo

    50 min

  6. 24/02/2021

    37 - Serial Monogamy & Pimping Your Friends

    We all know that person who is constantly with the Love of Their Life... except that person is ever changing. The "LOML" does not happen back to back to back to back. We see you on Facebook, swapping your significant other out like a teenage girls phone case circa 2012. Take a break, be single, and once your over that, let your friends find love for you! Like actually... find a friend like Kate who does not know boundaries, and let her set you up... or let her host a gameshow on Clubhouse... because that's what Kate is doing. Find out more by listening here and following us on all our socials (you'll have a good time). Also, Olivia gave a first date the boyfriend treatment & we put some heavy thought into engagement photos for two girls nowhere close to getting engaged (see what I did there? lol) xoxo, muthaf*ckin P.I.M.P

    52 min

  7. 17/02/2021

    36 - Generational Delusion

    Millennial is synonymous for anything bad when used by a Boomer, and now, the Zoomers have jumped on the trash Millennials train, and we simply don't care (ok we care a little, mostly because Gen Z is taking credit for shit they shouldn't. Kate rocked an artist crop in high school).  As members of the generational punching bag, we have some reminders to those younger to remember their roots and be grateful we fought to have jeans that actually go higher than your uterus.  But before we get into that, we have a little VDay recap.  Also, Olivia's DMs are a madhouse, Kate's subconscious is an even bigger madhouse & if you're using the Google Form to ask one of us out, you can also use it to ask some questions.  Happy Wednesdays, LDs xoxo

    38 min

  8. 10/02/2021

    35 - Valentine's Day is for Criers

    And Wednesday's are for Nowhere Close. Who needs love when you can cry? Single or wifed up, both Olivia and Kate have shed at least a tear on Valentine's Day, 10 years running. There is a shot that in 2015, the tears were of laughter, but we were both way to trashed to remember for sure.  So saddle up and let's talk about the stupidest day of the year. Olivia might not hate it anymore, Kate doesn't hate it because she *loves love* but its still a stupid effing day full of cringe instas, a lot of red and too much pressure. Take a trip down memory lane with Kate and Olivia regarding V-Day's past, get some advice to keep it lowkey and not the worst day, and remember kids, you can always thirst trap the fuck out of these hoes, get someone in trouble for liking your hot ass self, wreak havoc, ruin someone else's day of love (jk...unless?) AND Olivia and Kate have some big news that we're super excited to share. Xoxo

    38 min
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About

We arrived to our late 20s to realize we are nowhere close to where we thought we’d be. Relatable? We thought so.

Information

  • Creator
    Nowhere Close
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2021
  • Episodes
    43
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Nowhere Close
  • Show Website
    Nowhere Close