Relational Alchemy

Lindsey Bourne
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Mental Health

Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the relationship patterns we live out — and how those patterns hold the key to our deepest healing. Hosted by relationship coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast explores attachment styles, nervous system healing, emotional triggers, subconscious beliefs, and the protective strategies we develop in response to early relational wounds. Each week, through personal reflections, conversations with practitioners, and stories of transformation, we examine how patterns like anxious attachment, avoidance, people-pleasing, codependency, shutdown, and self-abandonment show up in our relationships — and how they can be softened, understood, and transformed. Rooted in trauma-informed, somatic, and attachment-based perspectives, Relational Alchemy offers a grounded, compassionate approach to relational healing. This podcast is for anyone longing for deeper self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and relationships that feel grounded, secure, and meaningful — with themselves and with others.

Episodes

  1. 3 days ago

    Grief as a Portal: Movement, Identity, & Coming Back to Yourself with Helen Phelan

    What if the grief you've been carrying in your head could only be released through your body? What if the relationship that collapsed was actually the thing that brought you back to yourself? What if reinvention isn't something you plan, but something your body leads you toward when you finally stop running from the pain? In this episode I'm joined by Helen Phelan, founder of Helen Phelan Studio. Helen and I went to college together, but ended up on opposite sides of the country. What started as following her movement work on Instagram turned into watching someone navigate divorce, identity collapse, and a full creative and professional reinvention in real time, and sharing all of it with radical honesty and so much realness. This conversation goes deep on what happens when your whole sense of self was wrapped up in a relationship, and what it takes to find your way back to who you actually are. In this episode: How disordered eating and a dance career shaped Helen's relationship to her body and eventually led to her intuitive movement frameworkWhat intuitive exercise actually means and why pleasure is a more sustainable motivator than punishmentMovement as a creative practice and pathway to flow stateThe identity collapse that followed the end of her marriage and what the rock bottom period actually looked likeWhy her female friendships saved her and what that taught her about where she'd been placing her sense of worthThe role of somatic release, EMDR, and daily improv in processing grief that words couldn't reachThe difference between circling around grief intellectually and actually releasing it from your bodyKey takeaways: Grief that stays in the head doesn't fully process. The body has to be part of itThe relationship ending wasn't the loss - staying would have meant continuing to lose herselfHow female friendships are just as, if not more important, than romantic loveMovement doesn't have to be punishment. The more pleasurable you make it, the more consistent you'll beReflection question from this episode: Where in your life have you been trying to think your way through something your body is actually asking you to feel? Where to find Helen: helenphelanstudio.com Instagram: @helenvphelan Substack: Well Hell by Helen Phelan Studio Free Friday Pilates Zoom class: available to Helen Phelan Studio members and Substack subscribers, Fridays at 12pm ET Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    50 min

  2. 18 Jun

    How To Actually Heal Through Relationships

    What if the very thing you want to fix about your partner is actually the thing you're meant to heal in yourself? What if the urge to control, fix, or chase reassurance from your partner isn't about them at all? What if your partner isn't the problem, and isn't the solution either, but the mirror? In this follow-up solo episode, I'm picking up where last week's power struggle episode left off. If that episode helped you understand why the power struggle happens, this one is about what to actually do with it. Because naming the phase isn't enough. The real work is learning how to use the triggers, the activation, and the conflict as a doorway back to your own healing, rather than evidence about your partner or your relationship. This episode is for you if you listened to last week and thought, okay, but now what? It's also for anyone who finds themselves constantly trying to get their partner to change, to validate them, to text back faster, to be more reassuring, to just be different, so that they can finally feel okay. I'm walking through the exact reflection process I use with clients to help them metabolize old wounds instead of just managing them, plus a real client story about a "not enough" wound that almost convinced her to leave the right relationship. In this episode: Why this episode focuses on your individual healing, not on changing the dynamic with your partnerThe U-turn back to self: what it actually means to stop outsourcing your safety to someone elseWhy relationships don't heal us by touching our wounds, they heal us by revealing themHow to tell the difference between your old wounding and a partner who genuinely isn't showing up for youA real client story: the "not enough" wound that almost ended the right relationshipThe fork in the road: what happens when you project a trigger outward versus turn it inwardSix reflection questions to find the root of any trigger, from body sensation to the belief underneath itWhy metabolizing an emotion is different from managing it, and why healing isn't about making the feeling go awayKey takeaways: Not every trigger is about your partner, but not every trigger is only about your past either. Discernment requires doing your own work firstYou can't accurately assess your relationship from an activated, younger part of yourselfHealing happens by feeling, not by avoiding. The goal isn't a calm nervous system, it's a flexible oneEvery defense mechanism, blame, control, scrolling, reassurance-seeking, is an attempt to avoid feeling something underneath itThe goal isn't to stop getting triggered. It's to learn how to meet your triggers differentlyReflection question from this episode: Next time you're triggered, can you find where it lives in your body, and ask what part of you is actually activated before deciding what it means about your relationship? Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    41 min

  3. 11 Jun

    The Phase of Relationships Nobody Talks About (But We All Need to Know About)

    What if the fighting, the triggering, and the distance you're feeling in your relationship aren't signs that something is wrong, but signs that something important is trying to surface? In this solo episode, I'm diving deep into one of the most misunderstood phases of relationships: the power struggle. It's the phase that follows the honeymoon, and it's the one that ends more relationships than it should. Because most people don't know it has a name, don't know why it happens, and don't know that it's actually one of the most transformative portals available to us if we know how to use it. This episode is for you if you're 8-12 months into a new relationship and suddenly feeling more triggered, more reactive, or questioning whether you chose the right person. It's also for anyone who keeps repeating the same dynamic across relationships and wants to understand why. I'm sharing real client examples, the frameworks I use in my work, and my own personal story of moving through the power struggle phase in my relationship. In this episode: What the power struggle phase is and why it follows the honeymoonWhy getting triggered is a sign the relationship is deepening, not falling apartHow your partner becomes your adult attachment figure and what that activates in youWhy we attract partners who trigger our deepest woundsWhy so many couples break up or get stuck in this phase foreverThe U-turn: how to redirect attention inward instead of fixating on your partnerWhat conscious love looks like on the other sideMy personal story of navigating the anxious avoidant dynamic in my own relationshipKey takeaways: The power struggle phase is a completely normal part of the relationship arcYou're not just reacting to your partner, you're reacting to something much olderWe unconsciously attract partners who mirror our unresolved childhood woundsLeaving doesn't solve it. Until the wound is addressed, a version of the same dynamic will keep showing upThe power struggle is a portal, not a dead endReflection question from this episode: When you're triggered in your relationship, what are you doing to get your needs met that might actually be perpetuating disconnection with your partner? Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    43 min

  4. 20 Mar

    How Astrology Reveals Your Relationship Patterns

    What if astrology wasn’t about predicting your future… but about understanding how you relate? In this episode, I’m joined by astrologer and one of my closest friends, Isa Nakazawa, to explore astrology as a deeply relational language. Together, we unpack how your birth chart can reveal the patterns, defenses, and inner dynamics that shape your relationships. We talk about the overlap between astrology and psychology, how both systems map the human psyche, and how they can help us transform the parts of ourselves that feel stuck, reactive, or hard to love. This conversation is about moving out of shame and into curiosity… and using both astrology and psychology as tools for real relational change. In this episode, we explore: Astrology as a map of the psyche, not a personality labelHow your birth chart reveals relationship patterns and contradictionsThe role of the moon in understanding emotional needs and attachmentWhy we attract certain partners and repeat familiar dynamicsHow to work with patterns without falling into victimhood or fate-based thinkingThe difference between using astrology for awareness vs. enabling patternsShadow and gifts across the modalities: cardinal, fixed, and mutable signsHow relationships act as mirrors for growth and integrationHow the things that remain unconscious in us get externalized as fate (C. Jung)Key takeaways: Your birth chart doesn’t define you, it reveals the different energies within youEvery pattern has both a protective function and a deeper intelligenceThe parts of ourselves we struggle with often hold our greatest potentialThe people we’re drawn to aren’t random, they often reflect what wants integration in usTransformation happens through awareness, not shameYou don’t need to become everything on your own, relationships are part of the processIf you’re new to astrology, Isa suggests starting with: Your rising sign (ascendant) — how you meet the worldYour moon sign — your emotional needs and inner worldYour descendant (opposite sign of your rising) — the archetype of what you’re drawn to in relationships/your ideal partner🎧 About Isa Nakazawa Isa Nakazawa is an astrologer and host of Stars and Stars with Isa, a podcast where she reads the birth charts of artists and thinkers to explore their purpose, patterns, and path. Her work blends astrology with cultural, political, and psychological insight, offering a deeply relational and nuanced approach to understanding the self. 🔗 Connect with Isa Stars and Stars with Isa Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/72DgOIcC23maJ3rZL9rRQy?si=a11cda227e174a07 https://isanaka.com/ https://www.instagram.com/isanaka/ https://www.tiktok.com/@starsandstarswithisa?lang=en https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWwXrCZWB_g12cCiyjAqI5JpE1knfSVc3 Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    1hr 27min

  5. 11 Mar

    Transforming the Shame Triangle with Jessica Fern and David Cooley

    In this episode we explore: What the shame triangle is and how it shapes the way people experience themselves and their relationships The difference between the inner critic, the shame part, and the protective escape strategies that follow Why shame is often one of the biggest obstacles to healing, accountability, and repair How perfectionism, people-pleasing, shutdown, projection, and conflict avoidance can all be protective responses The connection between shame, anger, attachment wounds, and nervous system dysregulation What self-energy is and why it is so essential in healing relational patterns How the shame triangle can begin to transform into self-love, inner coaching, and deeper internal safetyWe talk about how shame quietly drives so many of the patterns people struggle with in relationships, from defensiveness and reactivity to collapse, avoidance, and disconnection, and how learning to relate to these patterns with more awareness, compassion, and curiosity can create real transformation. This conversation is an invitation to understand the parts of you that formed in response to pain, reconnect with the deeper wisdom of your system, and begin creating more presence, repair, and authentic connection in your relationships. About Jessica Fern: Jessica Fern is a certified clinical trauma professional, trained Internal Family Systems practitioner, and the internationally recognized author of Polysecure, Polywise, and Transforming the Shame Triangle, which she co-wrote with David Cooley. Her work helps individuals, couples, and multi-partner relationships break free from reactive patterns, insecure attachment, cultural conditioning, and past trauma so they can embody new possibilities in life and love. About David Cooley: David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, bilingual cultural broker, and the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model. In his private practice, he specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, integrating trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative therapy, and mindfulness-based techniques to support deeper connection, intimacy, and repair. Connect with Jessica https://jessicafern.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jessicafern411/ Connect with David https://restorativerelationship.com/ https://www.instagram.com/rrconversations/ Learn more about The Azurite Way https://www.instagram.com/azuriteway/ https://www.theazuriteway.com/ Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    57 min

  6. 25 Feb

    Healing Your Nervous System So Love Stops Feeling Like Survival

    In this episode we explore: The difference between regulating your nervous system and actually healing it How attachment wounds drive anxiety, control, and conflict in relationships Why triggers are invitations to tend to your own body instead of reacting outward The hidden ways control shows up in dating, communication, and expectations How the “not enough” wound shapes rejection, abandonment fears, and self-worth What it takes to feel safe with uncertainty in love and intimacyWe talk about how fear, control, and old relational patterns quietly run your relationships, and how learning to create internal safety changes the way you experience dating, conflict, connection, and so much more. This conversation is an invitation to stop seeking safety outside of yourself and start allowing your relationships to transform you from the inside out. About Yarrow Kae: Yarrow is spiritual and leadership mentor, clinically trained therapist, nervous system genius, and master of energtics. She specializes in  Connect with Yarrow https://www.instagram.com/yarrowkae/ https://www.youtube.com/@yarrowkaeway The Yarrow Kae Way podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4mtglXAacOs0BnZ4YFl0J7?si=5e8e7fdda3034afb Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    1 hr

  7. 19 Feb

    From Performance to Presence: How Relationship Patterns Shape Your Work Life

    In this episode we explore: • Why your relationship patterns don’t disappear when you walk into work  • The difference between internal authority and outsourcing validation  • How triggers at work mirror childhood and attachment wounds  • The hidden cost of perfectionism, people pleasing, and over-functioning  • Why your nervous system recreates familiar stress and rejection  • The link between self-image, success, money, and romantic relationships  • How to use activation as a portal back to self instead of reacting  • A practical framework to shift from performance to presence Ally shares practical ways to work with triggers in real time, rewire subconscious beliefs, and shift from external validation to internal authority, both in leadership and in life. This conversation is a powerful reminder that healing your patterns in one area transforms every area. About Ally Erickson: Ally is a leadership mentor who helps high-performing leaders move from performance to presence. Her work focuses on identity, intuition, and self-trust as the foundation of real authority. Connect with Ally LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allyerickson/ Podcast "Who Does She Think She Is?" https://open.spotify.com/show/0teRgNJRNe7z1KqNV7EADg?si=42107f4b24a543dd Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    57 min

  8. 3 Feb

    Common Patterns In Relationships & How to Alchemize Them for Your Highest Growth

    In this episode we explore: • Why surface conflicts are never the real issue • The shared wound underneath couples fights • How survival mode shapes attraction patterns • Projection and inner child triggers in relationships • A practical way to spot and shift your relational cycles About Rachel Kelly: Rachel helps people to rewire their nervous systems out of survival mode and build secure attachment. She is obsessed with helping you feel your feelings, build internal safety and create a life beyond your wildest dreams! Connect with Rachel Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_kelly_coaching/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelkellycoaching?_r=1&_t=ZT-939h1jQNgDu Website: https://rachel-kelly.mykajabi.com/ Powerfully Single Program: https://welcome.rachel-kelly-coaching.com/powerfully-single Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    54 min

  9. Season 1 Trailer

    Relational Alchemy

    Have you ever felt frustrated, or even hopeless, about the patterns you see playing out in your life or relationships? Have you wondered why the same dynamics keep repeating, even when you’re doing the work or desire change? Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the patterns we live out in love and connection. It explores how our relationships with ourselves and with others reveal the deeper forces shaping our lives. Hosted by Relationship/Couples Coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast invites listeners into conversations about attachment, nervous system healing, and the everyday moments that become the basis for our greatest transformations and portals back to the most tender parts of ourselves. Connect with Lindsey www.lindseybournecoaching.com Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07 Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! 3

    3 min

Trailer

About

Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the relationship patterns we live out — and how those patterns hold the key to our deepest healing. Hosted by relationship coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast explores attachment styles, nervous system healing, emotional triggers, subconscious beliefs, and the protective strategies we develop in response to early relational wounds. Each week, through personal reflections, conversations with practitioners, and stories of transformation, we examine how patterns like anxious attachment, avoidance, people-pleasing, codependency, shutdown, and self-abandonment show up in our relationships — and how they can be softened, understood, and transformed. Rooted in trauma-informed, somatic, and attachment-based perspectives, Relational Alchemy offers a grounded, compassionate approach to relational healing. This podcast is for anyone longing for deeper self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and relationships that feel grounded, secure, and meaningful — with themselves and with others.

Information

  • Creator
    Lindsey Bourne
  • Years Active
    2k
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Relational Alchemy
  • Show Website
    Relational Alchemy