Securely Attached

Dr. Sarah Bren

Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between. Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules." From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust. About Sarah Bren, PhD Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    Q&A: I'm worried no one will come to my child's birthday party. What do I do?

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   - Why the fear that no one will come to your child's birthday party feels so intense for parents and why that reaction is rooted in real neuroscience. - Ways to ground yourself so you can support your child with clarity instead of panic. - Strategies for planning a birthday celebration that feels safe, joyful, and truly right for your child, whether that means a small gathering, a special outing, or something completely different. - How to partner with teachers, other parents, and your community to help your child form more meaningful connections. - What to do if disappointment still happens and how to validate your child's feelings without getting stuck in them.   If you are worried about your child feeling left out, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence so you can show up with grounded support and help your child feel understood and connected.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧 Why birthdays are so hard for your kid and what parents can do about it 🎧 Listen to my podcast interview with Dr. Yael Schonbrun  👉🏻Why the brain registers the pain of social rejection the same way as physical pain      CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle peer rejection in toddlerhood 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence  🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

    18 min
  2. 5 DAYS AGO

    Is America's achievement culture fueling a mental health crisis in our kids? With Dr. Doug Bolton

    Clinical psychologist, educational leader, and author of Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation, Dr. Doug Bolton, joins me this week to unpack the rising levels of anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm we're seeing in kids today.   Together we explore:   - How changes in education starting in the 90s have intensified academic pressure for kids of all ages. - Why school avoidance, perfectionism, and burnout are rising, even among high-achieving students. - The neuroscience behind why rigor, overscheduling, and constant output make it harder for kids to access curiosity, regulation, and real learning. - How expectations have shifted, and why many kids simply aren't developmentally ready for what schools now demand. - Realistic, achievable ways to build rest, connection, and resilience into daily family life. - Small shifts parents can make at home to buffer their child's stress, protect their mental health, and restore balance.   If your child is melting down after school, anxious about grades, overwhelmed by homework, or feeling weighed down by pressure to perform, this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you practical tools to support their wellbeing.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Dr. Doug Bolton  📚Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@douglasabolton  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 If your child is feeling overwhelmed by school demands, struggling with executive functioning, or showing signs of anxiety or burnout, you don't have to navigate this alone. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about our therapy and coaching services designed to help kids and families move through these challenges with clarity and support.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel less academic pressure   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle school refusal    🎧 Listen to podcast episode about the myths of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian

    59 min
  3. 18 DEC

    Q&A: How do I get my 3-year-old to stop crying over everything?

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - What is actually happening when your toddler cries over every little thing, from dropped toys to leaving the playground. - Why saying "don't cry" often backfires, and what actually helps shorten the crying instead. - The simple validation strategy that calms big feelings faster, even when every part of you wants the tears to stop. - How to model emotional regulation by moving forward without ignoring your child or shutting their feelings down. - When to offer empathy, when to add a little distraction (and why the order you do this really matters!) for helping toddlers build resilience.   If your child seems to dissolve into tears at the smallest frustration, this episode will help you understand the developmental reasons behind all that emotion and give you practical, real-world tools for supporting their feelings while still keeping your day moving.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about helping parents decipher whether you have a child who is anxious or just sensitive 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

    16 min
  4. 16 DEC

    Settling your unsettled baby: How to read your child's cues, build routines, and trust your instincts with pediatrician Dr. Golly

    Pediatrician and bestselling author Dr. Golly (aka Dr. Daniel Golshevsky) joins me this week to help new parents make sense of the early weeks with a newborn and feel more grounded, confident, and connected along the way.   Together we explore:   - How to understand newborn behavior and cues so you can respond with more confidence. - What really matters in the first four weeks — and what you can let go of. - Why some babies struggle to settle, and how to support their developing nervous system. - How to create flexible, supportive routines without slipping into rigidity or pressure. - The powerful role of partners and non-breastfeeding caregivers in bonding and soothing. - How parents can tune out the noise, trust their instincts, and feel less overwhelmed by conflicting advice.   Whether you're navigating confusing cues, unpredictable sleep, feeding challenges, colic, or the general overwhelm of early parenthood, this episode offers clarity and reassurance during one of the most intense transitions of your life.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Learn more about Dr. Golly and use code securelyattachedVIP15 for 15% off all Dr Golly courses at www.drgolly.com 🔗Get Dr. Golly's free Sleeping Tips checklists 📚Your Baby Doesn't Come with a Book: Dr Golly's Guide to the First Four Weeks of Parenthood  📚Dr Golly's Guide to Family Illness: Sneezes, Wheezes and Common Diseases   📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Do You Need?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book  📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Did You Say?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book      FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱@drgolly  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.   WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER? Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about lightening the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Sterling   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Megan Roche   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom-brain" can be our greatest strength with Dr. Nicole Pensak

    53 min
  5. 11 DEC

    Q&A: How to know if group therapy would be a good fit for my child?

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - What actually happens in a group therapy session for kids and how it differs from one-on-one therapy. - How group therapy can help children practice social skills, build confidence, and feel less alone in their struggles. - The fears many parents have about group therapy, including concerns about negative peer influence, comparison, or awkwardness. - The different types of groups therapists run, including skills-based groups, process groups, and hybrid formats, and how to know which one fits your child best. - Why peer support can be uniquely powerful for kids with anxiety or low self-esteem and how group leaders create a safe, supportive environment. - What to ask a group leader before signing up so you can feel confident it will be the right match for your child.   If you've been curious whether group therapy might help your child feel supported, connected, and more capable in whatever challenges they are facing, this episode will give you a clear picture of what group work really looks like and how to decide if it could be a good fit for your kid.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Want to learn more about group therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode determine the fine line  between supporting your child versus feeding their anxiety   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the different forms of therapy with Dr. Katie C. Lewis   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

    22 min
  6. 9 DEC

    Breath-holding spells in children: What's normal, what's not, and how to stay calm with pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman

    Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman joins me this week to unpack breath-holding spells, those frightening moments when a child turns blue or pale, goes limp, or briefly loses consciousness during intense emotion or dysregulation or pain.   Together we explore:   - The two types of breath-holding spells and what triggers each of them. - Are certain children more prone to these episodes based on genetics, temperament, or other factors? - What should parents do in the moment to keep their child safe, and how to know when it's time to call their pediatrician. - What parents can do after a spell to comfort their child. - Do these spells cause any long-term harm, or are they truly benign? - How to support your child's emotion regulation and frustration tolerance between episodes.   If you're currently navigating breath-holding spells, or you simply want to feel more prepared for the unexpected moments that come with raising little ones, this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and practical guidance from both a pediatrician and a fellow parent who has lived this experience firsthand.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Caity Gilman  🎧 Listen to Caity's first episode about vaccine safety      LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 drsarahbren.com   📱 @drsarahbren     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is afraid of going to the doctor 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner

    32 min
  7. 4 DEC

    Q&A: How do I start making meaningful holiday traditions with my kids when all they want is presents?

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - How to start holiday traditions when you have a toddler and a new baby (without adding more pressure and stress to your plate!) - Setting realistic expectations so you don't feel disappointed if the picture in your head and the reality with your kids look very different. - How to stay flexible as your kids grow, their interests change, and your family evolves. - Why kids often latch onto those unexpected and unplanned moments of joy and togetherness - and how realizing this can help take some of the pressure off parents. - Simple ways to create meaningful holiday rituals, avoid overwhelm, and set a tone of joy, connection, and calm for your family this season.   Whether you're navigating multiple holidays, trying to balance gifts with meaning, or simply hoping to make this season feel special (without losing your mind), this episode will help you build traditions that truly fit your family and remind you that the magic often comes from doing less, not more.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child from becoming spoiled 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether elf on the shelf is unaligned (or not!) with positive parenting  🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how kids can get dysregulated from excitement too 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what you can do to if your child gets pressured to perform for other adults     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

    29 min
  8. 2 DEC

    The psychology of autonomy and growth: Building stress tolerance, confidence, and motivation with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson

    Joining me this week are Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, co-authors of the bestselling book The Self-Driven Child and leading experts on the neuroscience of stress, motivation, and autonomy.   Together we explore:   - Why a child's sense of control is one of the strongest predictors of resilience, mental health, and stress tolerance. - How play, rest, and unstructured time uniquely support healthy brain development. - The hidden ways over-scheduling, overstimulation, and constant "fixing" can unintentionally increase anxiety. - What it really means to be a "non-anxious presence" — and how your calm helps regulate your child's nervous system. - How to give kids space to struggle, experiment, and try hard things without overwhelming them or abandoning them. - Practical, research-backed strategies for helping kids feel both safe and capable in a world that often feels anything but.   Whether you're raising a toddler or a teen, this conversation offers a grounded, science-backed reframe for understanding stress, resilience, and autonomy — and meaningful tools you can start using today to strengthen connection and help your child thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUESTS: 🔗 https://theselfdrivenchild.com/  🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast  📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives 📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook  📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home  🎧 The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@selfdrivenchild 📱@drbillstixrud  📱@theothernedjohnson  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience 🔗 Rest Is Not Idleness: Implications of the Brain's Default Mode for Human Development and Education  🔗 A Social-Cognitive Approach to Motivation and Personality  🔗 Effects of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Mental Health and Brain Maturation in Adolescents: Implications for Analyzing Longitudinal Data 📚 The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness       CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating childhood anxiety through SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the right (and wrong!) way to foster your child's independent play   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace   🎧 Listen to my podcast about how RIE can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury

    59 min

About

Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between. Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules." From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust. About Sarah Bren, PhD Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

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