The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
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We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

  1. Dr Lucy Hone - A Life Worth Grieving

    3 DAYS AGO

    Dr Lucy Hone - A Life Worth Grieving

    Two cataclysmic events have shaped Dr Lucy Hone’s relationship with grief, and resilience. 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Today in the Academy of Imperfection, we welcome Dr Lucy Hone. Dr Lucy’s work focuses on making sense of the senseless, and helping others to do the same. As a legitimate expert in grief, resilience and wellbeing, Dr Lucy is able to blend the science with her own lived experience. This episode explores living losses (divorce, estrangement, infertility), grief comparison, as well as the research around post-traumatic growth. Guided by questions from Dr Lucy’s latest book, How will I ever get through this?, Hugh, Josh and Ryan ask Dr Lucy why grief feels so lonely, how you are supposed to accept loss, and will you ever be happy again, amongst others. This is a special one. 0:00 – An Unsuspecting Saturday Morning 12:11 – Grief comparison 21:25 – How am I supposed to accept this? 31:14 – How do you keep hope alive? 35:48 – Why do I feel so lonely? 50:20 – Will I ever be happy again? 56:36 – Letting the other children live 1:03:44 – Do you know your strengths? 1:09:12 – Who and what do you want to live for? 1:14:59 – Who and what is good in your world? To full this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Zyb7kELxFxI  🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - Grief Lightening - https://bit.ly/3ZPVNmO Dr Emily - Other People Matter - https://bit.ly/3Oku8b4 Dr Emily - Goals For Your Goals - https://bit.ly/4rAK3AF 📖 Things to read How Will I Ever Get Through This by Dr Lucy Hone - https://bit.ly/4bAWO9w Resilient Grieving by Dr Lucy Hone - https://bit.ly/4kpkf8g Oscillation Grief Theory - https://bit.ly/4qZ5WK1 Michael F. Steger - Meaning and Purpose Work - https://michaelfsteger.com J. William Worden - Four Tasks of Mourning - https://bit.ly/3NTGPcU 💻Things to check out Dr Lucy’s website - https://www.drlucyhone.com 3 Secrets of Resilient People TedTalk - https://bit.ly/3Zguj9S Dr Lucy’s ‘Look Forward To’ Calendar VIA Strengths test - http://bit.ly/4h2KYFJ Coping With Loss community on Facebook - https://bit.ly/3NTnDvT Welcome to Holland poem - https://bit.ly/4kgB0lH Will Arnett + Conan O’Brien on Grief - https://bit.ly/4a06320 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 24m
  2. Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way

    1 FEB

    Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way

    Stop. Everything. Now. It’s Claudia Karvan day. 💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy An icon of the screen, and of the heart, Claudia is Australian entertainment royalty. Claudia’s life itself feels like a movie (no one else grew up in a nightclub, did they?) and it was an absolute privilege to listen to all the lessons that she has learnt along the way. With incredible grace, Claudia talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about playing the long game during divorce, and how she came to the realisation that it wasn’t up to her to fix everything. Claudia speaks openly about separating the person from the diagnosis, and how, and why, she thinks so often about death. This is one for the highlight reel. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click on this link - https://youtu.be/4qH4vBr0i6Y 0:00 – Hugh ‘questionable-decisions’ van Cuylenburg 12:24 – The role of a lifetime 17:55 – An unconventional childhood 28:50 – It’s not up to you to fix everything 39:55 – The opening of another world 45:47 – Doing it all (with support) 51:12 – Love and family HER way 59:33 – Play the long game1:07:15 – Managing mental ill-health 1:24:39 – The benefit of helping others 1:26:48 – How to love in a healthy way 🥸 Which Imperfects Host Are You Quiz? - https://tally.so/r/Xx4PEO 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Stephen Curry - I Dug a Hole … and Found Myself - https://bit.ly/3ZpPNkN Hannah Ferguson - Outspoken But Not Broken - https://bit.ly/3M8SC6y 📺 Things to watch Love My Way - https://bit.ly/4qFCjNA The Secret Life of Us - https://bit.ly/3Z1Thtt The Queen of Versailles - https://bit.ly/3Z5FemE Australian Story - The Secret Life of Claudia Karvan - https://bit.ly/3ZE8p0g Who Do You Think You Are? with Claudia Karvan - https://bit.ly/4bIw3QL Bump - https://bit.ly/49O16Jv 📖 Things to read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche - https://bit.ly/4k8qdtR 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 38m
  3. Soul Searching Summer - Ryan’s TV Show

    25 JAN

    Soul Searching Summer - Ryan’s TV Show

    Ryan’s got news. Well, past-Ryan had news, and now future-Ryan is going to reflect on how present-day-Ryan is currently feeling about said news. Get it? It’s reflecting on a reflection about a rejection. Today we’re giving you two for the price of none, and bringing you two of the most memorable moments from our subscriber based show A Little More Imperfects. With both segments focusing on wildest dreams, Hugh, Ryan and Josh explore how to navigate regret when you’re not at your best, and how to show yourself compassion and love when your dreams are, well, crushed. Also, we ask Hugh what happened to him today. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Ilg-r9gHGPk 🩵Sign up for A Little More Imperfects here Patreon - patreon.com/theimperfects Apple Podcasts - https://bit.ly/4aSIeKd 🩷Sign up to the My Imperfect Email here https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://bit.ly/457hYZA Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/454PJL6 Isaac Humphries - Coming Out on Court - https://bit.ly/4jQtxtD   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    46 min
  4. Spooky Summer - Hugh’s Haunted House

    18 JAN

    Spooky Summer - Hugh’s Haunted House

    Do you believe in ghosts? Josh doesn’t, Ryan does, and Hugh is actually being haunted. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale! One show left! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep It’s the second episode of our super sexy summer series (the alliteration is wild in this episode), and we’re revisiting the time that Hugh got haunted. Blending together a few episodes of A Little More Imperfects, our subscriber platform that you can sign up for below, we’ll introduce you to Geraint the shamanic healer, what happened during Hugh’s ghost busting appointment, and whether Hugh has had any paranormal activity since. And finally, whether this whole ordeal has convinced Josh that ghosts are real. Long live summer! 0:00 – A phoenus? Draw it 4:17 – Team Josh v Team Ryan 10:28 – Meeting the shamanic healer 16:25 – The not-so-light-hearted update 30:01 – Cursed artwork: to burn or not to burn 35:46 – Has the ghost been busted? If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/u4XNRTLXtrQ  🩵Sign up for A Little More Imperfects here Patreon - patreon.com/theimperfects Apple Podcasts - https://bit.ly/4aSIeKd 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://bit.ly/49TSktd Maria Ruberto - Sleep Your Way To Your Top - https://bit.ly/49jJJ2S 👻Ghost busters Garant 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    40 min
  5. Psychology Summer - Your Inner Fan with Dr Emily

    11 JAN

    Psychology Summer - Your Inner Fan with Dr Emily

    Today, we come to you with a gift: bonus Dr Emily. Thank you in advance for the standing ovation. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale! One show left! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep Welcoming you into the world of A Little More Imperfects, our subscriber-based platform available on Patreon and Apple Podcasts, our resident psychologist Dr Emily reaches into the reflection pond, to discuss and decode a reflection from one of our community members. Responding to this reflection, Dr Emily chats to Ryan, Josh, and special guest Producer Bridge, about how life changing it can be to receive an ADHD diagnosis, as well as the not so joyful emotions, such as grief and anger, which can accompany this. Josh talks about his own inner critic, which leads into a broader discussion about self-compassion, top down vs bottom up therapy, and the therapeutic benefits to showing up for your younger self as the adult you are today. Don’t say we don’t spoil you. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzBxIFUOJL0  🩷To join our A Little More Imperfects Community Patreon - https://bit.ly/3KQvB7R Apple Podcasts - https://bit.ly/499aZRs 🩵Where to send in your reflections https://bit.ly/4rYjfuS 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Janelle Booker - Living with ADHD - https://bit.ly/4rXQIG0 Hugh’s ADHD … brief - https://bit.ly/3MJBzb4 Ben Crowe (Pt 1) - Meet Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/3KHwJdX Ben Crowe (Pt 2) - Now BE Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/49bVxnB James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://bit.ly/3MzZKZz What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4pwNZBG 📺Things to watch The Rehearsal - https://bit.ly/48V6IA0 Good Will Hunting - https://bit.ly/4iW7hhn Rick Hanson - Velcro for the Bad, Teflon for the Good - https://bit.ly/4rVpe3R 💻 Things to do Rick Hanson - Positive Neuroplasticity Training - https://bit.ly/48COcgN 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 8m
  6. The Little Drummer Girl - A Christmas Scandal

    21/12/2025 · BONUS

    The Little Drummer Girl - A Christmas Scandal

    Little heads up, this episode contains some language that is exclusively found on the naughty list, and therefore, isn’t suitable for kids. Now, it’s time to spill some Vulnerabili-TEA. It’s our annual holiday episode, and this year, with many thanks to comedian Becky Lucas, we welcome into the studio Little Drummer Girl. Who has some, um, grievances to air. Little Drummer Girl is taking us back in the space-time-continuum to re-write history, and let us in on the scandal which surrounds the infamous lyrics ‘pa rum pum pum pum’. All ad revenue from this episode will be donated to Becky’s chosen charity of HeartKids, who do an incredible job providing lifelong support, resources, and advocacy to the 250,000 people impacted by childhood-onset heart disease. 0:00 – Introducing the Little Drummer Girl5:50 – The ultimate gift guide9:51 – An original song, an original crime15:22 – Sharing enriching information from 20 AD25:28 – Know what you’re good at30:20 - Hello Becky, Hello HeartKids If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube (you really do), follow this link - https://youtu.be/oXBEij8q5Tc  🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Santa Claus - A Special Vulnerabilitea House - https://bit.ly/4pDw6B8 Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half - https://bit.ly/4559jpJ Little Boy Christmas - The Forgotten Son of Mr & Mrs Claus - https://bit.ly/4iVxGMi Becky Lucas - The power of laughter - https://bit.ly/3KN76Zg 💻Things to do Check out Becky Lucas on instagram - https://bit.ly/3N1ELil Check out the incredible HeartKids organisation - https://www.heartkids.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    39 min
  7. Dave Hughes - Me, Myself & Ego

    14/12/2025

    Dave Hughes - Me, Myself & Ego

    Dave Hughes has a complicated relationship with his ego. Performing in prestigious venues around the world, Dave Hughes has solidified himself as one of Australia’s comedy icons, but the journey was (and still is) far from easy. Joining us in the studio today, Dave vulnerably shares how the burden of feeling unworthy affected his ability to give and receive love. Dave chats to Ryan about how much he has struggled with comparison, both with others, and the success of his past self, and the role that ego plays in never being able to turn down an opportunity. Hughesy, thank you so much for joining us. 0:00 – Ryan got papped, Hugh got crumpets7:19 – The failures that lead to success17:12 – A feeling of general greatness21:06 – Reckoning with comparison30:18 – The joy is in the giving36:03 – Walking the family / work tightrope41:07 – Humour as a way in47:56 – You had me at IMAX helmet56:00 – Ego doesn’t let you enjoy the moment1:08:10 – Five strategies to let go of ego If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/ogE4j-UQIGY 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode: Kate Langbroek - Love Story - https://bit.ly/44OH66q Dr Emily - Other People Matter - https://bit.ly/3MqGNZj Pat Cummins - Love, Loss & Life - https://bit.ly/3MtSgqX Cate Campbell - Even Olympians Have Depression - https://bit.ly/44TRhXp 🎄Other Xmas Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode: Santa Claus - A Special Vulnerabilitea House - https://bit.ly/48P0X6V Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half - https://bit.ly/44g5M7J Little Boy Christmas - The Forgotten Son of Mr & Mrs Claus - https://bit.ly/3KHqx5F 📖 Things to read A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle - https://bit.ly/4rPfS9B 💻Things to look up Oprah’s series with Eckhart Tolle - https://bit.ly/48vfOo6 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. The Imperfects acknowledge the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation, as the traditional owners of the land on which this podcast was recorded and we extend our respects to elders past & present.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 27m
  8. Mary Fowler - Forgiving Yourself-Harm

    07/12/2025

    Mary Fowler - Forgiving Yourself-Harm

    We’re nervous. We’re excited. We’re nervous and excited. Because it’s Mary freaking Fowler day. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, all the way from Manchester, Mary answers the question ‘what do you worry about the most?’ With wisdom far beyond her 22 years, Mary explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the impossible task of being the ‘perfect’ role model, especially when you are still growing up yourself. And then, in a conversation that will help many, and maybe even save the life of a few, Mary graciously shares her experiences with self-harm, and why she thinks it is so important to have the heavy conversations, even with the risk of saying the wrong thing. Mary talks about her journey with pressure and forgiveness that lead her to rediscover ‘Little Mary’, her wall of things that make her feel loved, and how she has been able to reframe her darkest times to find more empathy for others. Mary, it was an absolute dream come true to speak with you. 0:00 – The 2023 Fairy tale 6:52 – What do you worry about most? 23:00 – Giving and taking power 34:01 – Appreciating the little things 41:01 – Saying the hard thing 56:22 – Beauty after pain1:04:29 – Am I supposed to be here? 1:09:16 – Looking after Little Mary if you would like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/O_9Wf0WSfMM  📖Things to read; Bloom, by Mary Fowler - https://bit.ly/443cWw3 🚨If you, or someone you know, is thinking about suicide or self-harm, Lifeline on 13 11 14 is a great place to start. In an emergency, please call 000. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1h 22m
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About

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Information

  • Creator
    Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    295
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
  • Show Website
    The Imperfects

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