Baseless Speculation Sanspants Radio

The Garfield Movie is only a few short days away and the Baseless Boys are all over this like a rash on a rashed up cat! JD is off sick so we have our resident Garfield Maniac Adam Carnevale to bring his Garfield knowledge to our truely clueless but beautiful boys. They almost get caught off guard by thinking about Shawshank Redemption but never fear, because Adam is here to keep them on track! Sure, they eventually do go down a Nathfield rabbit hole, but this episode is a solid 80 to 90 percent on track. Plot elements are talked about! Animation style is discussed! The casting of Chris Pratt is questioned! See, they know their Garfields! But did you know that Koko the gorilla had a pet cat? Not only did Koko chose the cat herself from a litter of abandoned kittens, but Koko was the one to name him! She called him All Ball as it had no tail. And Koko loved that kitten! Petted him, played with him, was ever so gentle and described him as SOFT GOOD CAT. Unfortunately after several months All Ball died in a car accident and when Koko was told she signed CRY, SAD and FROWN. Same Koko, same.
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We promise you we don’t get off track. We’re not gonna lie, there was a wavering moment when Zammit remembered Michael Keaton was in Multiplicity but thankfully no one else had seen it or otherwise that would have been us for the episode. Then Jackson’s chair broke. In a regular episode that would have been it! But we made a promise! Hell or high water we’re gonna talk about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice! From the earliest rumblings of Beetlejuice Goes to Hawaii to Burton watching and loving Heaters to Vampire Lincoln Abraham Hunter (another landmine we expertly avoid!) no piece of production history is left unturned! Even Kevin Smith makes a brief appearance! So listen long, listen deep and be proud of us for staying on topic like the goodest little boys in all of podcasting. Speaking of Multiplicity, it seems cloning is off the table. While attempting to clone rhesus monkeys, the cloned embryos lack key proteins that allow a cell to divvy up chromosomes and divide properly with some surmising that the same problem may also be present in any attempts to clone humans. So be bummed for ever ape you see is the only kind of that ape and you’ll never experience an ape like that again. But be grateful because no matter what, that ape is special and beautiful in it’s own way and what a magical experience it was to see that ape be that ape and no one can take that away from you! This also applies for humans we guess?
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Transformers is going back to it’s roots with an unnecessary origin story! Now with terrible animation! Are you a lowly mining robot? Do you long for more? Maybe you wish to be king of the robots and or a druid with the power of car? Well now you can! Transformers One! A beautiful tale of friends to lovers to bitter rivals to enemies to archnemesis or whatever! It’s the epic origin story of that truck you love and that gun (or sometimes tank) you love to hate! Transformers that don’t transform! A comedic ultraviolent Bumblebee! Chris Hemsworth is there! He so handsome. As you can tell we are all very excited to watch another hit in the multi media behemoth to sell us toys. We lovingly reminisce about the previous Transformers films and even pitch our own, Transformers: Dog that features a cameo from Ham the Astrochimp. Ham was the first great ape launched into space. While his name was an acronym, it wasn’t for the Haptic Arm Machine but for Holloman Aerospace Medicine.
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In what might be the quickest derailment of an episode yet, the boys misremember who directed Mortdecai and that was all it took. We had every intention of doing an episode on Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, but you must understand it got away from us. If you had to try and remember Mortdecai and what that movie was about, it would happen to you! We scoured our little brains trying to think what the plot of that film was about and entered the Mortdecai hole you are no doubt about to go down. It’s a weird hole that takes many an unexpected turn. We guarantee you would never guess how the book Mortdecai is based on ends. Not in a million years! And the sequel? The world has never been more ready for the plot of that book. So come with us on this journey, we understand you got a ticket for the Beetlejuice train but this bus going to Mortdecai is where you need to go. Anyways, did you know that in the 50s there was an incredible chimpanzee named Congo who was a fabulous abstract impressionist? He drew line, he drew circle, understood composition and symmetrical consistency. Ever the perfectionist, if one of his little drawings was taken away that he considered incomplete he’d hoot and holler, scream and throw a fit until he could finish his masterpiece. The reception to his paintings were mixed.
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Ryan Reynolds just dropped the trailer to Deadpool & Wolverine on YouTube and it’s already gotten 20 milly views in 24 hours, well on its way to make that sweet, sweet billy! So to celeblate we run through our theories about what’s going to happen in what will be this years most wonderful of films! How they get into the time bin? What Cassandra Nova want? She gonna go full Zazlav and delete the movie? What about Patrick Stewart? He coming back so he can die for a fourth time? We can only hope so! If you want to help support your favourite boys, Baseless Speculation+ is now available from our website where you can get episodes early and ad-free! We don’t know why that would be a selling point as Jackson makes this episode very non-advertiser friendly straight off the bat but do check us out on YouTube to watch Zammit’s soul leave his body at around the 1 hour 8 minute mark. But maybe we’re like that Cadbury ad with the gorilla whom loves Phil Collins? Initially shot down by execs, it turned out to be one of Cadbury’s biggest triumphs! And that could be us! Unlistenable, unmarkable but secretly, and then openly, beloved.
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Joker: Folie a Deux, a sequel that has the chance of alienating fans of the first but luring those that had nothing but disdain for it has released a trailer and your boys are nothing if not topical! A brave and bold choice to follow up a segma male’s anthem with a jukebox musical. A brave and bold choice we respect. We do our best to remember the original film, try to figure out the big connection between Arthur Fleck ie A Fleck and Batfleck and Jackson attempts to convince the Joels that Norman Reedus’ character in the Walking Dead, Paytus, gets tied to a log, falls in a river and ends up in France. Because the currents were in his favour. Truely another masterful episode by the three cleverest boys in pop culture, an episode you can watch on YouTube. Sadly, if this was to happen to an gorilla it would drown. While most mammals are able to swim instinctively without any training, not gorillas! They are far too muscular and heavy to float or move in water and their short arms and legs make them terrible at any kind of swimming stroke. But don’t fret. Gorillas are happy on land, where they find water in their food and bond with their mates. Gorillas fear the ocean. And so they should.
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