Securely Attached

Dr. Sarah Bren

Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between. Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules." From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust. About Sarah Bren, PhD Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

  1. 1 day ago ·  Video

    How to build a secure attachment with yourself: The connection between self-worth and parenting with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    Dr. Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of the new book Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, sits down with me to explore a side of attachment we don't talk about nearly enough: our relationship with ourselves.   Together we explore:   Why trying to "act secure" may actually leave you feeling more insecure. What it really means to become "secure-ish," and why security doesn't require getting rid of your anxiety, insecurity, or uncomfortable emotions. The surprising connection between attachment and self-worth, and why changing how you feel about yourself may require more than positive thinking. How experiences from your past can become a blueprint for what you expect from relationships today, and the fascinating science suggesting that blueprint can be edited. Why being the agreeable, easygoing person isn't always as healthy as it looks, and where all those suppressed emotions can eventually go. What your relationship with your own emotions has to do with how you respond when your child is having big ones. Why some parents find themselves losing it more with the people they love the most, even when they're working incredibly hard to stay calm. How learning to welcome the parts of yourself you've spent years trying to change may be one of the most powerful ways to build genuine security from the inside out.   If you've ever wondered why you can understand secure attachment intellectually but still find yourself falling into old patterns, this conversation offers a very different way of thinking about what it actually means to feel secure, not just in your relationships, but within yourself.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Marisa G. Franco  📚 Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment 📱 @drmarisagfranco     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment relationships   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with what children need from us at every stage of development to foster a secure attachment   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

  2. 8 Sept ·  Video

    Picky eating, protein, food dyes, and nutrition myths: What parents actually need to know with Jennifer Anderson

    Jennifer Anderson, registered dietitian, founder of Kids Eat in Color, and author of the new book Feed Them Well: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident Eaters for Life, joins me to help parents cut through the noise around nutrition, focus on what actually matters, and let go of the guilt, perfectionism, and fear that so often surround mealtimes.   Together we explore:   Why the atmosphere around the table may matter just as much as what's on your child's plate. The surprising reason play can be one of the most effective tools for helping picky eaters become more adventurous. How to tell the difference between nutrition advice that's worth paying attention to and the headlines designed to scare you. The simple framework Jennifer uses to help parents stop worrying about every food trend and focus on the changes that make the biggest difference. Why talking about foods as "good" or "bad" may shape the way children think about eating in ways we don't always realize. What parents can do when the usual feeding advice doesn't seem to work for their unique child. How your own relationship with food may be influencing your child's, often without you even realizing it. The permission every parent needs to stop chasing perfect nutrition and start building a healthier relationship with food for the whole family.   Whether you're navigating picky eating, trying to cut through the endless stream of nutrition advice online, or simply hoping mealtimes can feel a little less stressful, this conversation will leave you feeling calmer, more confident, and equipped with practical strategies you can start using right away.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Kids Eat in Color  📚 Feed Them Well: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident Eaters for Life 📱 IG: @kids.eat.in.color TikTok: @kids.eat.in.color  FB: Kids Eat in Color    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Need support with picky eating or feeding challenges? If mealtimes have become a source of stress, or your child is struggling with picky eating, ARFID, or other feeding challenges, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers parent coaching to help you better understand what's driving your child's eating and learn practical, evidence-based strategies to support them. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating, ARFID, and SPACE with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about nurturing open mindedness in kids through food with Priya Krishna   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child would never stop eating unless you restrict them?

  3. 1 Sept ·  Video

    "Gentle parenting" isn't enough: Why kids need both emotional validation and boundaries with Dr. Siggie Cohen

    Dr. Siggie Cohen, child development specialist, parenting expert, and author of the new book You Are the Parent joins me to discuss why so many parents today feel overwhelmed, second-guess themselves, and wonder if they're getting it all wrong.   Together we explore:   Why so many well-intentioned parents get stuck in a cycle of trying new parenting strategies that never seem to work, and what to focus on instead. The subtle difference between validating your child's emotions and accidentally reinforcing behaviors that aren't helping them. Why behavior doesn't change because of the perfect consequence or script, but because of something much deeper happening within the parent-child relationship. The common child development misconceptions that leave parents expecting too much or too little from their children. Why repeating the same explanations over and over often isn't the answer, even when your child seems like they "aren't listening." How to respond to hitting, aggression, and other challenging behaviors in ways that support both emotional regulation and healthy boundaries. What it really means to become your child's leader without becoming controlling, harsh, or authoritarian. How to begin changing long-standing family patterns, even if your child is older and you've been parenting a different way for years. The powerful mindset shift that can help you stop parenting from fear and start trusting yourself again.   If you've ever worried about whether you're validating too much, setting too many limits, or simply trying your best while feeling pulled in a dozen different parenting directions, this conversation will help you cut through the noise, feel more confident in your role, and better understand what children truly need to thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Siggie Cohen  📚 You Are the Parent: Move from Overparenting to Balanced Parenting and Become the Leader Your Child Needs – A Framework for Confident Parenting Through Discipline, Boundaries, and Emotional Skills 📱 @dr.siggie     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and mental health with Sarah R. Moore   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching children emotion regulation through co-regulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what parents can do when none of the gentle parenting scripts and tips work for your kid with Dr. Cindy Hovington

  4. 25 Aug

    Back by Popular Demand: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

    As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most meaningful and foundational conversations in Securely Attached history. Many parents worry that if they didn't experience a secure attachment in their own childhood, they'll unknowingly repeat those same patterns with their children. But one of the most hopeful findings in attachment research is that our past does not have to determine our children's future.   In this conversation, I sit down with renowned attachment researcher Dr. Miriam Steele to explore how secure attachment develops, how insecure attachment patterns are passed from one generation to the next, and, most importantly, how we can break those cycles.   Together we discuss:   What secure and insecure attachment really mean, and some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding attachment theory. How children develop different attachment strategies in response to their early caregiving experiences. Why secure attachment is built through consistent responsiveness, not perfect parenting. The surprising research showing that parents don't need to be attuned all the time for children to develop secure attachment. What reflective functioning is and how it helps parents interrupt intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment. Why understanding your own childhood experiences can transform the way you parent your children. The difference between attachment science and popular "attachment parenting." Why repair matters more than getting it right every time. Practical ways to strengthen your relationship with your child, even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment yourself. The hopeful message that it is never too late to create a more secure future for your family.   This conversation is a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not about perfection, nor is it determined by the childhood you had. It is built through thousands of ordinary moments of connection, curiosity, repair, and reflection. Dr. Steele's research offers tremendous hope that when we become more aware of our own patterns and learn to respond with greater understanding, we have the power to change the trajectory not only of our own lives, but of future generations.   ⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐ If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

  5. 20 Aug

    Q&A: What should I do if my child has intrusive thoughts?

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What intrusive thoughts actually are. How to recognize when a repetitive question or worry is more than ordinary curiosity, and the subtle clues that can help you tell the difference. The types of topics (like private parts, germs, or order) that are most common in intrusive thinking. The simple shift that can help your child stop identifying with the thought and begin seeing it as something separate from who he or she is. Why reassurance often brings only temporary relief, and what tends to work better in the long run. Practical, child-friendly strategies that can help kids feel more in control when their brains get "stuck" on a thought. How to respond in ways that reduce shame, build confidence, and help your child develop the skills to cope with intrusive thoughts over time.   Whether your child is experiencing intrusive thoughts because of anxiety, OCD, PANS/PANDAS, or you're simply wondering if what you're seeing is developmentally typical, this episode will help you better understand what's happening inside your child's mind and give you practical tools to respond with confidence and compassion.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety, OCD, or intrusive thoughts? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers evidence-based treatment for children and families, including SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and a combination of approaches tailored to your child's unique needs. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation with our care team. We'll listen carefully, answer your questions, and help you determine the best next step for your family.   📚 What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS and PANDAS and why some children develop sudden OCD, anxiety, or tics after illness with Dr. Nancy O'Hara   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know when your child's anxiety requires a mental health intervention     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

  6. 18 Aug ·  Video

    Child custody through divorce: Navigating the courts and building a custody schedule that works with Michael Fried

    Michael Fried, a family law attorney at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein joins me to help parents navigating divorce better understand what to expect when it comes to child custody, how courts make custody decisions, and how to create a parenting agreement that truly serves their child's best interests.   Together we explore:   Why today's courts increasingly begin with the assumption that children benefit from strong relationships with both parents, and what that means for custody decisions. The common mistake parents make when approaching custody and why "winning" isn't actually the goal. What judges are really looking for when determining a child's best interests. How to think about 50/50 custody, and why there isn't one schedule that's right for every family. The developmental factors that should shape a parenting plan, from toddlers to teenagers. Practical strategies that help children adjust to living in two homes with greater security and less stress. The communication tools that can reduce conflict and make co-parenting more successful, even when the relationship between parents is strained. What parents should document during a custody case and when it makes sense to revisit a parenting agreement as children grow.   Whether you're considering divorce, actively navigating a custody arrangement, or simply want to better understand how to protect your child's emotional well-being through a separation, this conversation offers practical guidance grounded in both legal expertise and child development.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Michael L. Fried 🔗 Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP  💻 5 Minutes with Fried 📱 LinkedIn: Michael L. Fried IG: @bbnsfamilylaw FB: Berkman Bottger Newman Schein LLP    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📱 Our Family Wizard - A safe platform that takes care of all communication during divorce and co-parenting   👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children Michelle Dempsey-Multack   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with preventative steps to reduce the risk of children forming insecure attachments during divorce with Una Archer   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce is better for your kids

  7. 13 Aug

    Q&A: How can I get my child to be potty trained at night?

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why staying dry overnight is very different from daytime potty training, and what many potty training books get wrong. The surprising reason some children simply aren't biologically ready, no matter how motivated they or their parents are. How to recognize the difference between a child who needs more practice and one who simply needs more time. The low-pressure approach that can actually make nighttime potty training feel easier for everyone. Small ways to build your child's confidence and independence, even if they're still waking up wet. Why paying attention to your child's internal body signals may matter more than sticker charts or rewards. When bedwetting is still completely within the range of typical development, and when it's worth bringing it up with your pediatrician.   If your child is still wearing pull-ups at night or nighttime potty training hasn't gone the way you expected, this episode will help you better understand the biology behind nighttime dryness and offer practical, compassionate strategies to support the process without adding unnecessary pressure.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with everything you need to know to successfully potty train your child   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about potty training, bed wetting, constipation and pediatric pelvic health with Quiara Smith     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

  8. 11 Aug ·  Video

    How to use music to strengthen your child's attachment, reduce stress, and create more moments of connection with Vered Benhorin

    Vered Benhorin, music therapist and Baby in Tune founder, joins me to explore how music and connection can be powerful tools in your parenting toolbox.   Together we explore:   Why creating just a few intentional moments of connection each day matters far more than trying to be perfectly present all the time. The simple shift that can transform ordinary routines like diaper changes, snack time, or bedtime into relationship-building moments. How music can help you stay playful and connected before everyday frustrations turn into power struggles. Why following your child's lead during moments of exploration benefits both of your nervous systems. How songs can become emotional shortcuts that help your child feel safe, understood, and connected when big feelings arise. The surprising reason these "bubble moments" are just as important for parents as they are for children. Why the joy and wonder children experience can help us see the world differently, no matter how old they are.   Whether you're parenting a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager, this conversation is a gentle reminder that secure attachment isn't built through perfection. It's built through small moments of presence, delight, and connection that add up over time.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Baby in Tune  🎧 Vered on Spotify  🎧 Vered on Apple Music  📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together  📱IG: @babyintune 🎧 33. How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with music therapist Vered 🎧278. Music, mindfulness, and play: Using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about nurturing your child's relationship to music with musician and dad Mark Joseph   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers)) can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury

About

Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between. Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules." From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust. About Sarah Bren, PhD Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

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