In this conversation, Todd Adams — Executive Director of Men Living and co-host of Zen Parenting Radio — unpacks what “conscious masculinity” truly means when you’re raising boys today. From the man box, to modeling emotional literacy, to partnership dynamics, to navigating conflict and consent, Todd brings grounded, practical wisdom for parents who want to raise strong, emotionally capable young men. This episode is about presence, modeling, and doing your own work — because our sons learn far more from who we are than what we say. Key Takeaways1. The Man Box & Conscious Masculinity Todd explains the framework of the “man box” — narrow cultural expectations that boys absorb — and why conscious masculinity expands beyond toughness into nurturing, emotional presence, and integrity. 2. The 60–30–10 Model of Parenting Todd breaks down his parenting philosophy: 60% modeling30% how you show up10% the actual wordsThis becomes the foundation of how boys learn behavior, responsibility, and emotional regulation. 3. Emotional Literacy, Empathy & Letting Boys Feel Todd highlights how boys are naturally emotional — even more expressive than girls early on — until society trains it out of them. He talks about naming feelings, body awareness, and letting boys feel deeply instead of distracting or shutting them down. 4. Partnership, Emotional Labor & Conflict Styles Todd discusses how marriage dynamics shape a boy’s understanding of masculinity, equality, and emotional safety — including emotional labor, conflict styles (fight, freeze, flee, fawn), consent, and role modeling in the home. 5. Men Living, Connection & Why Fathers Must Do Inner Work Todd shares why men lose deep friendships, how he built Men Living, and why dads must take responsibility for their personal growth — instead of passing unresolved baggage down to their sons. If you want your son to be kind, be kind. If you want your son to read books, read books. Modeling is 60% of parenting. Our kids are here to teach us. We’re not just here to teach them. Most men only allow themselves to feel anger. But boys come into this world deeply emotional — we just shut it down too early.Timestamps / Chapter Markers 00:00 — What We Can Control as Fathers 00:33 — Welcome & Meet Todd Adams 01:05 — What Is Conscious Masculinity? 02:01 — Boys Are Born Emotionally Expressive 03:23 — The “Man Box” and Its Limits 04:29 — The Four Male Archetypes 05:45 — Why the Lover Archetype Matters 06:25 — Parenting Is More About Being Than Saying 07:10 — The 60–30–10 Parenting Model 08:45 — Be the Man You Want Your Son to Become 09:45 — Are We Sure We Turned Out “Fine”? 10:38 — Raising Kids in a Radically Different World 11:55 — Screens, Addiction, and Honest Modeling 13:34 — Why Kids See Everything 14:03 — When Men Lack Emotional Role Models 14:55 — The Golf Weekend Wake-Up Call 16:28 — Men Already Know How to Feel 17:15 — Naming Feelings and Listening to the Body 18:08 — When a Child Feels Everything 18:37 — Humor as Emotional Avoidance 20:17 — Why Men Need Intentional Community 22:21 — Creating Male Spaces on Purpose 24:19 — Adapting Masculinity to a Changing World 25:50 — Modeling Equality at Home 27:05 — Emotional Labor and Invisible Work 29:16 — Total Ownership in Partnership 30:52 — Making the Invisible Visible 32:30 — Recognition and Unequal Praise 33:40 — Healthy Partnership as a Teaching Tool 34:14 — The Real Secret to a Strong Marriage 35:07 — Understanding Conflict Styles 36:44 — Excellence, Joy, and Struggle 39:05 — Why Avoidance Costs More Long-Term 40:44 — Where Fathers Get Stuck 41:10 — The Five Principles of Men Living 42:30 — Protecting Boys’ Emotional Openness 43:02 — “Let Me Feel What I Feel” 44:30 — Rethinking Affection and Masculinity 45:40 — Consent Starts Early 47:17 — One Operating Principle for Raising Boys 48:20 — Let Your Kids Teach You 49:09 — Closing Reflections Supporting Content 1. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover — by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette Todd uses this to explain the four male archetypes and why boys need the “lover” archetype encouraged, not erased. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062506064 2. Tony Porter’s “A Call to Men” & The Man Box Framework Referenced via Tony Porter’s TED Talk about the “man box” and cultural conditioning around masculinity. https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men 3. Fair Play System (Eve Rodsky) Referenced during discussion of emotional labor, ownership, and division of hidden household responsibilities. https://www.fairplaylife.com 4. Men Living (Todd’s organization) Frameworks mentioned: Men Living Consciously, Curiously, Emotionally, Candidly, Intentionally. https://menliving.org 5. Zen Parenting Radio (Todd & Cathy’s podcast) Referenced throughout the conversation. https://zenparentingradio.com
