ManTalks Podcast Connor Beaton

Talking points: relationships, sex

Thrilled to have Dr. Laurie return! This time, we go deep on sexual attachment. How it shows up, how it's a little different than the attachment styles you might know of, and what might be blocking it in your relationship. There is TONS of good info and insight here, team, so listen closely.

(00:00:00) - What is the “sexual attachment cycle”?
(00:05:59) - Where does the push-pull dynamic start, and how cues to sex slow down in some relationships
(00:14:37) - What secure sexuality looks like on relationship
(00:21:19) - Why men come out of a hookup generally more satisfied than women
(00:27:29) - How do you end the push-pull dynamic and create secure sexual attachment?
(00:34:19) - Navigating intimate conversations, and don’t be fooled by social narratives
(00:43:21) - What creates a sexless relationship, and how to move forward
(00:51:13) - Rebooting sex after a sexless relationship: the blocks

Laurie Watson, Ph.D., MA, LMFT, LCMHC, Director of Awakenings, certified sex therapist, certified EFT therapist, certified addictions specialist from IICS, has thirty years of experience working with couples and individuals about love and sex. Laurie says, “I’ve never seen a couple who I didn’t feel hope for about their healing and happiness.”
Laurie is the host of the popular podcast, FOREPLAY RADIO, ranked in the top 10 on iTunes under Sexuality. Laurie authored her first book Wanting Sex Again—How to Rediscover Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage in December 2012. 
She’s a popular blogger, with over 15 million reads between her WebMD blog and Psychology Today Online. Laurie also lectures physician residents, PAs, and PTs at Duke’s and UNC Chapel Hill’s medical schools on sexual function and dysfunction. 
She has been published or quoted in almost every nationally popular media resource including the New York Times, Buzzfeed, HuffPo, WebMD, Glamour, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, etc. A popular media figure, she has appeared on the Katie Couric Show and Vogue Weddings and is regularly on radio and television in Raleigh and Greensboro.
Director/owner of Awakenings, Counseling for Couples and Sexuality, Laurie supervises 11 clinicians in both Raleigh and Greensboro. 

Connect with Laurie
-Website: https://lauriewatson.com/
-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaurieWatson.CouplesTherapy/
-Podcast: Foreplay Radio: https://www.foreplayrst.com/

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Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: anxiety, relationships

You asked, I answer! The latest Man's Guide, specifically for folks dating someone with anxious attachment or just general anxiousness. I've had a ton of couples come to be asking how to tackle this, so here are the important things to ask yourself, and six points you can work on right away.

(00:00:00) - Intro and one of the most important elements to shifting this dynamic
(00:03:38) - What role in the dynamic are you playing? It can be hard to admit!
(00:06:48) - Signs your partner has a lot of anxiety, and the general impact on you
(00:12:33) - Immense amount of empathy for those with anxiety
(00:15:18) - So what do you do? On responsibility and regulation
(00:21:11) - Don’t personalize the panic, and create some movement
(00:25:01) - Pull them back to the present moment, and one powerful question to ask

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Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: masculinity, culture, relationships

What is it men are actually looking for? We know how media tends to define "masculinity", but what is it men are wanting to define? I sat down with MELD founder and fellow coach Owen Marcus to dig into some of this, because we've both found that what men really want and what mainstream narratives say they want are often two different things. Dig in, team.

(00:00:00) - Why do you think “masculinity” gets so much attention in our culture?
(00:05:44) - When are where do men feel most aligned, and why getting out of your head is important
(00:12:07) - Where did mature masculinity go, and the balance of biology and culture 
(00:19:25) - What happens when men miss moments of maturation
(00:27:03) - The value of being able to share what you’re going through with others, and what gets in the way
(00:33:27) - What is emotional physiology?
(00:39:24) - Tools to get back into the body, and what about men who avoid the work for fear it’ll make things worse?

Owen Marcus resisted getting into men's work, and it was only because his pain exceeded his fear that he started his first men’s group in 1995 in his clinic in Scottsdale, AZ.
The conventional approach to men’s groups began to feel inadequate for Owen and the deep, transformative work he sought. After completing his straw bale home in the forests of Idaho, he decided to take everything he had developed in his practice and worked to create a new model. By the middle of 2005, he had a thriving men's group group.
What began as the Sandpoint Men’s Group (SMG) grew beyond Marcus's wildest expectations. Nineteen years later, it boasts over 400 alumni and more than 50 active members. This journey led to the birth of EVRYMAN and now MELD, each step an evolution of his initial vision.

Connect with Owen
-Website: https://meld.community/
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meld.men/
-LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/owenmarcus/

***
Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: business, mindset

I've been asked this for a long time now, and finally decided to press the button. I don't work in this industry to show off lambos, cohibas, and designer suits. It's to help other men be what they know they're capable of being. So if you're someone who's teaching, coaching, or making something for men, listen in, because here's what I've learned.

(00:00:00) - Intro, why I’m making this, and the problems to solve when working with men 
(00:10:25) - What I’ve discovered works well. Number: get clear on the problem you’re solving
(00:12:33) - Speak to men directly. Not ABOUT men 
(00:15:08) - Use multiple platforms, but have one in the lead, and pay for training
(00:21:04) - Leverage other people’s mastery and credibility by paying for partnership
(00:25:55) - Give value every step of the way
(00:29:47) - Develop a very deep level of competency
(00:33:51) - Build really strong relationships
(00:40:16) - Repetition, time, and consistency 

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Men, the next Men's Weekend is VERY soon. Join us in California for a transformative journey of reclamation.
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: purpose, archetypes, trauma, perfectionism, abandonment

This week, a shadow work session with an anonymous guest. If you've ever wondered what this kind of work is like, now's your chance to check it out. My guest today has already done some great work and has found drive and purpose, but something has kept him from taking action. As we work to find out what's going on, we learn about past events that laid a foundation of resistance.
Note: there's some heavy stuff in here. You've been warned. This episode has also been edited for clarity and anonymity.

(00:00:00) - Intro, what brought my guest in today, and the Guardian of the Threshold
(00:07:09) - What's contributing to the overwhelm, and the guest's mother
(00:14:30) - Going deeper and connecting with the somatic experience
(00:21:57) - The connection between resistance and two events in the past
(00:34:17) - We don't always need the full story in order to heal, and homework

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Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Talking points: mindset, the shadow

I've been fascinated by the power of a good question for as long as I can remember. These are five simple (but not easy) ones that have radically altered my life for the better. I still use them today when I'm feeling stuck or unsure in my health, business, and relationships. Listen in!

(00:00:00) - Intro and the importance of good questions
(00:04:00) - Your mind has a LOT of unconscious content, and it’s actually useful
(00:06:43) - The benefit of framing questions as “sentence stems”
(00:08:45) - “The one thing I don’t like people to know about me is…”
(00:10:25) - “The one thing I could take action on that would make a difference is…”
(00:12:58) - “Is this something I can influence, or is it out of my control?”
(00:16:10) - “What really hard thing can I do that will make my life better?”
(00:18:35) - “What am I missing by choosing to worry?”

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Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 
Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify
For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices