Middle Men

Brendan O'Hara
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Middle Men is a podcast for men who don't fit neatly into society's straight or gay boxes. Maybe you live a publicly straight life, but privately you're not entirely straight. Maybe you're bi or only into guys, but don't fit neatly into the spaces designed for you. Maybe you don't have a label and don't want one. Middle Men was built for you — the guy in the middle. No labels required. No judgment. Just other guys who get it. I'm the host, Brendan O'Hara — I grew up straight, came out as gay, then landed in the middle. There was no podcast or community for guys like us, so I built it.

Episodes

  1. 5 days ago

    You Don't Have to Pick a Side | Sexuality Is a Spectrum

    You've been told your whole life that you have to pick a side. Straight or gay. One or the other. You don't. Not anymore. Sexuality runs on a spectrum, and it can evolve and change over time. I know because I've experienced it myself. And there's a place for the millions of guys like us out there who don't fit neatly into "straight" or "gay." In this episode I get into where that pressure to pick a side actually comes from; my personal experience of living a straight life, then a gay life, then landing somewhere in the middle; the challenges that accompany living life in the middle; and how to find a community of like-minded people to help offset those challenges. This one is about the permission to stop changing aspects of who you are in order to fit in with straight and gay groups, and to just be your true self with all the other Middle Men out there — without disrupting your current life. Join the community and newsletter at middlemen-podcast.com ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro 00:50 The Pressure to Pick a Side 01:34 Why You Don't Have to Pick a Side 02:00 My Story Pt.1 — Straight Until 25, then Coming Out 04:05 My Story Pt.2 — The Middle 05:38 The Challenges of Not Picking a Side 07:22 A Community For Those in the Middle 08:27 Who This is For 🔗 JOIN THE MIDDLE MEN COMMUNITY A private, anonymous space to connect with other guys in the middle: middlemen-podcast.com/community 📩 GET THE NEWSLETTER Bi-weekly resources, articles, and content from the middle: middlemen-podcast.com/#newsletter 🤔 "AM I A MIDDLE MAN?" Take the anonymous Middle Men survey to find out — and see the overall results: middlemen-podcast.com/survey 📝 READ MORE ON SUBSTACK middlemenwcfc.substack.com 📱 FOLLOW Instagram: instagram.com/middlemenwcfc TikTok: tiktok.com/@middlemenwcfc X: x.com/MiddleMenWCFC Facebook: facebook.com/middlemenwcfc 🏃 STRAVA CLUB strava.com/clubs/middlemen 💸 SUPPORT MIDDLE MENDonate to support the podcast, online community, and more.https://www.middlemen-podcast.com/donate 📚 SOURCE Ross LE, et al. "Prevalence of Depression and Anxiety Among Bisexual People Compared to Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Individuals: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis." The Journal of Sex Research, 2018. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2017.1387755 If you saw yourself in this, follow the show — there's a lot more coming. And if you know someone who could benefit, share it with them. They need it more than you realize.

  2. 21 Jul

    I Think I Might Be Bi. Now What? | What Nobody Tells You

    If you've ever typed "am I bi" into a search bar at 1am and then deleted your search history afterward, this one's for you. You're not the only one. Not even close. In this episode I get into the actual data on how many men live somewhere between "straight" and "gay" — the numbers that prove you're not rare, broken, or alone — and what the questioning actually feels like from someone who's lived it. Then, where to go from here: no label required, no coming out, no telling anyone anything. Maybe your life looks straight on the outside but isn’t as straight on the inside. Maybe you're bi or gay but don't fit neatly into the spaces designed for you. Maybe you don't have a word for what you are, and maybe you don't want one. Either way, you exist somewhere in the middle, and the world doesn't have a lot of space for that. Middle Men does. No labels. No judgment. No pressure to be anything other than exactly where you are. Join the community and newsletter at middlemen-podcast.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro 01:11 What Questioning Feels Like 02:39 The Numbers: You're Not the Only One 03:44 Why Don't They Just Come Out of the Closet? 04:46 Where Do I Go From Here? 05:20 The Middle Men Community 06:44 Half-Price Middle Men Membership SOURCE Bennett BW, et al. "Population Percentage and Population Size of Men Who Have Sex With Men in the United States, 2017–2021: Meta-Analysis of 5 Population-Based Surveys." JMIR Public Health and Surveillance, 2024. https://publichealth.jmir.org/2024/1/e56643 FOLLOW & CONNECT Join the community: middlemen-podcast.com/community Newsletter, Substack, Support the Podcast, and more: middlemen-podcast.com

  3. 14 Jul

    I Lived Straight, Then Gay. Then I Landed in the Middle.

    I lived a straight life. Then I lived a gay life. Both were real. Then I kept going and landed somewhere in the middle, and that feels right. But it's not without its challenges. This is my story: growing up closeted in the 80s and 90s in Pennsylvania, coming out in Boston at 24, living fifteen years fully immersed in the gay world, then going back into the closet in my 40s and realizing I'm not straight or gay, but somewhere in the middle. And upon realizing this, being confused and anxious about it as I was acclimating to moving out West — I found myself hiding non-straight parts of me in some straight groups, and assimilating while leaving true parts of myself behind in some gay groups. I also learned that ambiguity can sometimes lead to being mis-judged. So, I set out to make a community where guys like us can be ourselves without being mis-judged — while supporting each other. Middle Men is a podcast and private community for men who don't fit cleanly into society's straight or gay boxes. Maybe your life appears straight on the outside, but isn't so straight on the inside. Maybe you're bi or gay, but don't fit neatly into the spaces designed for you. Maybe you don't have a word for what you are — and maybe you don't want one. Either way, you exist somewhere in the middle — and the world doesn't have a lot of space for that. Middle Men does. No labels. No judgment. No pressure to come out and blow up the life you've built. No set of beliefs you need to adhere to or aspects of yourself you need to hide in order to belong. At Middle Men, you are welcome as your true self. If you saw yourself anywhere in this episode, you're not the only one. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 0:00 — Intro1:01 — Growing Up Hiding It3:02 — Coming Out in Boston4:04 — 15 Years In — and Starting to Feel Different7:39 — The Reset: Covid, 40, and Changing Course9:12 — The Moment I Didn't See Coming10:17 — Why I Built Middle Men 🔗 JOIN THE COMMUNITYA private, anonymous space to connect with other guys in the middle: middlemen-podcast.com/community 📩 GET THE NEWSLETTERBi-weekly resources, articles, and content from the middle: middlemen-podcast.com/#newsletter 📝 READ MORE ON SUBSTACKArticles released bi-weekly on Substack, and release privately a week early in the Middle Men Community as a perk to members: middlemenwcfc.substack.com 🏃 JOIN THE STRAVA CLUBFor the runners, riders, endurance, and active-life guys:strava.com/clubs/middlemen 💸 SUPPORT MIDDLE MENDonate to support the podcast, online community, and more.https://www.middlemen-podcast.com/donate

  4. Season 1 Trailer

    Middle Men: Season 1 Trailer

    Middle Men is a podcast and community for men who don't fit neatly into society's straight or gay boxes. Maybe your life appears straight on the outside but isn't so straight on the inside. Maybe you're bi or gay, but don't fit neatly into the spaces designed for you. Maybe you don't have a word for what you are—and maybe you don't want one. Either way, you exist somewhere in the middle — and the world doesn't have a lot of space for that. Middle Men does. Honest conversation about identity, masculinity, relationships, social connection, and personal growth. No labels. No judgment. No pressure to be anything other than exactly where you are. middlemen-podcast.com middlemen-podcast.com/#newsletter @middlemenwcfc on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, X, Facebook

Trailer

About

Middle Men is a podcast for men who don't fit neatly into society's straight or gay boxes. Maybe you live a publicly straight life, but privately you're not entirely straight. Maybe you're bi or only into guys, but don't fit neatly into the spaces designed for you. Maybe you don't have a label and don't want one. Middle Men was built for you — the guy in the middle. No labels required. No judgment. Just other guys who get it. I'm the host, Brendan O'Hara — I grew up straight, came out as gay, then landed in the middle. There was no podcast or community for guys like us, so I built it.

Information

  • Creator
    Brendan O'Hara
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    4
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Brendan O'Hara
  • Show Website
    Middle Men