The Conversation He Started

The Conversation He Started
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

This podcast started after we lost Mike - Steve’s little brother and Ryan’s best friend. Mike used to speak openly online about his struggles, in the hope that it might help others feel less alone. This podcast is our way of carrying that forward - continuing the conversation he started, in our own words and in our own time. Talking honestly is how we are processing what happened and making sense of life while grieving. These conversations sit in real time, and naturally widen into discussions about men’s mental health, perspective, and how life changes when you are forced to sit with difficult experiences. Each episode is an open, real conversation. We check in, talk things through, and reflect on what we are learning as it happens. No acting. No forced positivity. Just honest discussion about life, loss, and the shifts that come with it. These conversations are how we make sense of it, and we hope they help others too. If you are interested in men’s mental health, perspective, and thoughtful conversations rooted in real experience, this space will make sense. New episodes every Wednesday. Steve and Ryan

Episodes

  1. Losing Your Identity After Grief: The Quiet Change

    3 DAYS AGO

    Losing Your Identity After Grief: The Quiet Change

    How does grief change your identity? It doesn’t happen loudly or all at once. It happens quietly, stripping away pieces of who you used to be until you realise you’re no longer just "healing" - you’re trying to figure out who you are now. Trigger warning: This episode contains honest discussions regarding grief, bereavement, and mental health. In this week's podcast, we dive deep into identity grief and the "life audit" that follows a major loss. We explore the internal shift that happens when the roles we once held - like being a sibling or a best friend - suddenly disappear. In this episode, we discuss: - Identity after loss: Why we feel like different people after a bereavement - The Life Audit: Practical habits (walking, mindset, and health) to help process the "fog." - Reinvention vs. Distillation: Why grief doesn't "change" you, it strips you back to your core. - The Lone Sibling: Coping with the changing family roles after losing a brother or sister. - Living in the Present: How to carry a legacy forward without staying "frozen in time. "This isn’t a conversation about "getting over it" or rebuilding a new you. It’s about distillation, finding clarity in what remains when everything has been stripped back. If you are struggling with your mental health after loss or wondering why you don't feel like "yourself" anymore, this conversation is for you. If you’re struggling, please reach out.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay with the story.

    1h 20m
  2. The Cost of Staying Strong: Surviving the Adrenaline Hangover of Loss

    4 FEB

    The Cost of Staying Strong: Surviving the Adrenaline Hangover of Loss

    Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss. We are often told to "stay strong" and "hold it together" after a loss, but what happens when the adrenaline finally runs out? In this episode, we explore the Adrenaline Hangover - that physical and mental crash that often hits months after a tragedy. We discuss why the traditional definition of male strength often leads to burnout, and why "out-disciplining" your grief is an impossible task. From synchronised migraines to the reality of the 100-day wall, we’re breaking down why the hardest part of the journey often starts long after the funeral ends. In this conversation: • The physical toll of "performing" as if you're fine. • Why your body crashes when the initial survival mode ends. • Redefining strength as communication rather than silence. • The legacy of "Mike’s Fence" and returning to our childhood roots. If you’re struggling, please reach out. UK Samaritans 116 123 US 988 Listen to all episodes: https://linktr.ee/theconversationhestarted New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay with the story.

    1h 23m
  3. Why Grief Gets Harder When Life Carries On

    28 JAN

    Why Grief Gets Harder When Life Carries On

    Around a hundred days in, life starts asking more of you again.More energy. More presence. More normality.And grief doesn’t get lighter to meet it. Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss. In this episode we talk about why grief can feel harder once life carries on. When the shock fades but the weight stays the same. When people check in less. When tolerance drops. When everyday moments demand more than you have to give. We talk about being a hundred days in. About the firsts you don’t prepare for. Birthdays and celebrations that feel heavier than expected. And the quiet guilt of not coping with what you think you should be able to handle by now. This episode doesn’t offer solutions.It sits in the part where life has picked back up and you’re still carrying the same thing, just with less room to carry it. UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

    1h 8m
  4. What A Good Year Means Now

    21 JAN

    What A Good Year Means Now

    A “good year” used to mean progress.Plans. Momentum. Moving forward.After loss, that definition changes. Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss. In this episode we talk about how grief reshapes the idea of a good year. What goals used to look like. What they look like now. The pressure to aim, improve, and achieve, and how those expectations shift after someone dies. We explore routine as an anchor rather than ambition. Looking ahead without forcing meaning. And where this leaves us as we move into a year that no longer fits the old framework. This episode isn’t about motivation or optimism.It’s about recalibrating what “good” means when survival, steadiness, and presence start to matter more than progress. If you’re questioning what a good year even looks like now, this episode is for you. If you’re struggling, please reach out. UK Samaritans 116 123 US 988 Listen to all episodes:https://linktr.ee/theconversationhestarted New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay with the story.

    45 min
  5. Why The New Year Feels Wrong

    14 JAN

    Why The New Year Feels Wrong

    The New Year arrived, but nothing felt new. Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss. We talk about why the New Year feels strange after loss. When “New Year, New Me” doesn’t fit, goals feel different, and the reset everyone talks about doesn’t land. This episode names the disconnection between the calendar changing and grief staying exactly where it is. UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

    46 min
  6. When Everyone Thinks You’re OK

    7 JAN

    When Everyone Thinks You’re OK

    Everyone thought we were OK. Because we were functioning. We weren’t. Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide. This episode is about the stage of grief where life has resumed but the weight has not lifted. When support fades, messages slow down, and you start carrying everything quietly. We talk about functioning without being OK, deciding not to bring it up, and what happens to the things you start holding in. UK Samaritans 116 123 US 988

    1h 14m
  7. Grief At Christmas

    31/12/2025

    Grief At Christmas

    Christmas can amplify grief.The build up. The pressure to be OK. The empty moments nobody sees. Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide In this special episode we talk about what Christmas really feels like after loss. The moments that catch you off guard, the guilt when you laugh, opting out when you need to, and what genuinely helped. If this reaches you, follow the podcast so you don’t have to carry it alone. Full video on YouTube. Clips on Instagram and TikTok.

    48 min
  8. The Days That Followed (Part 2)

    24/12/2025

    The Days That Followed (Part 2)

    After the funeral, the messages stop and everything feels different. Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide. We talk about the first weeks after the funeral. The guilt. The silence. Trying to function. Wanting to talk and not wanting to talk. And how grief changes once the support fades and real life starts again. UK Samaritans 116 123 US 988

    1h 3m
  9. The Days That Followed (Part 1)

    17/12/2025

    The Days That Followed (Part 1)

    Episode 4 is about the days that followed. Eight to nine weeks into grief, when anger shows up and coping looks different for everyone. **Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.** We talk honestly about how we’re really doing, preparing for the eulogy, counselling, music, memory, and how two people can grieve the same person in completely different ways. This is part one of the days that followed. UK Samaritans 116 123 US 988

    59 min
  10. The Day Everything Changed

    10/12/2025

    The Day Everything Changed

    Episode 3 is the day everything changed.This is the moment we found out Mike had taken his life and the hours and days that followed. Trigger warning: this episode discusses suicide and sudden loss. We talk honestly about the first twenty four hours after losing someone you love. The shock. The silence. The disbelief. Thank you for listening. New episodes every Wednesday.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

    1h 17m
  11. Who Mike Really Was (Part Two)

    03/12/2025

    Who Mike Really Was (Part Two)

    ** Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health challenges, including references to suicide. These topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or local support hotline for help ** Mike’s journey into looked steady from a distance, but privately he was carrying grief, pressure and moments that changed him. Losing another close friend. Trying to hold himself together. Slowly drifting into isolation without anyone realising how far it had gone. This episode opens up the parts people never saw:• the weight changes and bulimia he hid• the distance that grew between him and everyone else• the nights he went missing• the small signs that something was slipping• the good days that kept getting shorter There were still flashes of who he really was. The Mike who spoke openly about mental health on local TV. The Mike who tried to pull himself back when he felt stronger. The Mike who kept going even as the difficult episodes became more frequent. This is the truth of who he was. Honest. Human. Trying his best in ways he rarely showed. Everything here leads directly to the moment everything changed in Episode 3. New episodes every Wednesday.

    1h 4m
  12. Who Mike Really Was (For Mike)

    26/11/2025

    Who Mike Really Was (For Mike)

    ** Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health challenges, including references to suicide. These topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or local support hotline for help ** Episode 1 is us going back to who Mike was when we were kids.The stupid stuff, the daft confidence, the things he did that still make us laugh now.This isn’t a story about “signs” or warnings. It’s just the truth of what he was like back then — the small memories you only have of someone you grew up with.Before everything got heavy.Before any of us understood what he was carrying.This is Mike as a boy. For Mike.

    59 min
  • 12 Episodes

About

This podcast started after we lost Mike - Steve’s little brother and Ryan’s best friend. Mike used to speak openly online about his struggles, in the hope that it might help others feel less alone. This podcast is our way of carrying that forward - continuing the conversation he started, in our own words and in our own time. Talking honestly is how we are processing what happened and making sense of life while grieving. These conversations sit in real time, and naturally widen into discussions about men’s mental health, perspective, and how life changes when you are forced to sit with difficult experiences. Each episode is an open, real conversation. We check in, talk things through, and reflect on what we are learning as it happens. No acting. No forced positivity. Just honest discussion about life, loss, and the shifts that come with it. These conversations are how we make sense of it, and we hope they help others too. If you are interested in men’s mental health, perspective, and thoughtful conversations rooted in real experience, this space will make sense. New episodes every Wednesday. Steve and Ryan

Information

  • Creator
    The Conversation He Started
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © The Conversation He Started
  • Show Website
    The Conversation He Started