Pure Desire Network

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채널 • 2개의 프로그램

기독교

기독교

매주 업데이트
기독교

기독교

매주 업데이트

3일 전

459 - Redeeming the Post-Affair Divorce w/ Linda Macdonald

In this powerful episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Linda MacDonald joins us to explore the unique trauma of post-affair divorce—what she describes as a “spiritual car crash.” We discuss why the grief of being betrayed and then left carries a distinct and devastating complexity, including the deep shame, self-blame, and identity loss many survivors experience. Linda offers insight for betrayed spouses wrestling with worth, rewritten marital histories, and faith shaken to the core. We also address hard questions around forgiveness when reconciliation isn’t possible and what redemption can look like for those who caused the betrayal and now face its consequences. For listeners in the raw aftermath of divorce, Linda shares practical hope for reclaiming identity, rebuilding a fierce, honest faith, and taking the first steps toward healing and wholeness. Resources: Register For The 2026 Summit Now! Get Linda's Book! GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3일 전

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1시간 4분
4월 14일

458 - The Love Language That Matters Most w/ Dr. Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman joins us for a rich conversation about loving well through The 5 Love Languages®. We begin with a helpful refresher on the five languages and explore how personality shapes the way we give and receive love. Chapman also explains the idea of the “love tank”—what fills it, what drains it, and how couples can keep it healthy through consistency, practice, and intentional effort rather than striving for perfection. For listeners navigating recovery from pornography, compulsive sexual behavior, or betrayal, this episode offers compassionate guidance on using the love languages in healthy, non-manipulative ways that build trust instead of pressure. We also talk about what it means to be a truly good listener, how to express unmet needs with grace, and when to share versus simply hear. Finally, Dr. Chapman introduces The 5 Love Languages® Premium Assessment and how it helps couples grow in understanding and connection. Resources: Register For The 2026 Summit Now! 5 Love Language Website GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

4월 14일

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57분
3일 전

097 - Red Flags & Relapse: Facing a Spouse Who Keeps Returning to Porn

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After years of recovery work and shared ministry, I’m facing renewed betrayal as my husband returns to secretive, addictive behaviors, becomes defensive and angry, and dismisses my need for safety. I feel destabilized, fearful there may be more hidden, and unsure how to respond. Are these serious red flags? How do I move forward when my spouse seems to abandon recovery and the marriage itself? We’ve been separated for nearly a year, with my husband in recovery programs, yet repeated relapses keep extending our separation. On the surface, he appears committed, but I question his willingness to truly give up his addiction. How long is reasonable to wait for real change, and what can I do to protect my well-being while I wait? When someone says they’ve been using porn for 28 years off and on, with sometimes months maybe even years in between, would it then be a choice or compulsion that they keep returning to it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org Resources: All Our Tools APSATS Website Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3일 전

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19분
4월 7일

457 - How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities w/ Dr. Andrew Bauman

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to discuss why the church so often becomes an unsafe place for survivors of sexual betrayal. Drawing from his work as a licensed mental health counselor and his research with more than 2,800 women, Dr. Bauman shares what led him—from pastoral ministry into clinical practice—to expose the systemic sexism and abuse he documents in Safe Church. We explore how misogyny disguised as theology retraumatizes betrayed women, how men’s recovery spaces can drift toward self-protection rather than true repair, and why meaningful repentance must be victim-centered. Dr. Bauman unpacks distorted interpretations of power, forgiveness, and the biblical term Ezer, and offers practical “green flags” for identifying church communities that genuinely support healing, equality, and spiritual safety for both men and women in recovery. Resources: Get Dr. Bauman's Book! Dr. Bauman's Website GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

4월 7일

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1시간 2분
3월 24일

455 - How Desires Can Discover Unhealed Wounds w/ Jay Stringer

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings. Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, shame-driven purity culture, and the pursuit of intensity often fuel addiction and emotional disconnection. We unpack how curiosity, compassion, and wholeness can help individuals move out of relapse cycles and support relational repair after betrayal. For betrayed partners, we address how desire can go dormant—and how it can be reclaimed safely. We conclude by envisioning what “connected desire” looks like beyond crisis and where listeners can learn more in Jay’s new book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow Resources: Check Out Jay's New Book! GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3월 24일

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1시간 7분
3월 17일

454 - The Persistent Message of Shame w/ Dr. Jake Porter

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth. Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others. We discuss strategies for recognizing and responding to shame, including how to navigate triggers from loved ones, childhood experiences, or the fear of rejection. Listeners will learn practical ways to continue healing long after the initial addictive behaviors have changed, and how to support others in processing their own shame without amplifying it. This conversation highlights the importance of awareness, empathy, and self-compassion, showing that recovery isn’t just about behavior—it’s about transforming the internal narratives that drive it. By leaning into this work, we create space for deeper freedom, connection, and emotional resilience. Resources: Dr. Jake's Website Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3월 17일

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1시간
2월 24일

451 - Believing Sexual Addiction is Just About Sex

In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this mindset—statements like “I just need more willpower” or “at least I’ve never crossed physical lines”—and explore how even those engaging only with pornography, fantasy, or lust can still be caught in the same trap. We also offer guidance for spouses and group members who recognize this belief in others and want to speak truth without shaming, rescuing, or lecturing. Together, we name why sexual addiction is fundamentally about pain, attachment, coping, and disconnection—not merely sexual acts. Finally, we discuss subtle ways this belief can linger even in long-term sobriety and how to continue growing in honesty, humility, and emotional freedom. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

2월 24일

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56분
3월 3일

452 - Not Taking Full Responsibility for Wounding Those We Love

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand. Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging pain we’ve caused is so difficult, even for those well into recovery, and how loved ones or group members can gently guide someone toward honest self-awareness without shaming or controlling. On the hopeful side, we paint a picture of what real ownership looks like: humility, empathy, repair-focused action, and a willingness to validate pain without arguing with it. We talk about how to avoid the trap of comparison when both partners carry wounds, and how to accept responsibility without spiraling into self-contempt. Ultimately, healthy ownership becomes a lifelong posture—not self-punishment, but a steady commitment to relational repair and integrity. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3월 3일

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1시간 1분
3월 31일

456 - When Hurting People Come To Church w/ Drs. Shaunti Feldhahn & James Sells

In today’s episode, we explore the heart behind the book, When Hurting People Come to Church, and the growing mental health crisis impacting families, churches, and communities—including those navigating sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Our guests, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. James Sells, explain why so many people struggle to find timely help and how the Church is uniquely positioned to respond. Rather than serving only as a referral source, churches can become places of relational care, where ordinary people learn to love well without needing professional credentials. You’ll hear practical ways to support others without burning out, along with an introduction to the CARE strategy and The Church Cares, a movement equipping congregations to walk with hurting people. You’ll discover a hopeful vision of compassionate, community-based care. Resources: Check Out Their Book Check Out Their Website FREE Counseling Consultation GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3월 31일

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1시간 3분
4월 14일

096 - Coping, Fantasies, and Recovery: Finding a Healthy Path Forward

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Listener feedback: I have gone through Unraveled and am currently starting a Betrayal & Beyond group at my church. Going through Unraveled was so amazing to help me process things and have a safe group of women that I could be honest with. Thanks so much for these tools you created. I still have thoughts about men that I was sexually intimate with before I got married. My husband and I are very honest about where we are and how we are doing in our healing journeys'. But I still find myself thinking about my ex's ... Is this a brain thing or spiritual tie that will always be there because of sex? What can I do to change this or work on it? Years after betrayal, I’m struggling with loneliness and sexual fantasy as a way to cope in a marriage that feels emotionally empty. Though I’ve stopped the behavior, I’m torn between protecting myself from further harm and pressure to reconcile for stability. How do you let go of coping fantasies, and how do you discern a healthy path forward when my marriage feels stuck between surviving and healing? I continue to relapse into old coping habits, like compulsive masturbation, fantasy, and unsafe sexual thoughts, despite counseling or accountability. How do I identify what triggers me and understand my old patterns, so I can take proactive steps to redirect these behaviors? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Resources: Unraveled Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

4월 14일

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17분

Helping you heal from betrayal trauma and find freedom from porn.