The Liberation Effect

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Channel • 2 Shows

Mental Health

Mental Health

Updated Weekly
Mental Health

Mental Health

Updated Biweekly

12/17/2025

37. Is it Still Abuse if She's Autistic?

In this episode, Helen speaks with Kate about the kind of guilt that forms when a child learns to survive by explaining away harm. Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home taught Kate to stay agreeable, take responsibility and protect her parents from accountability, even when their behaviour caused lasting damage. A central thread in the conversation is Kate’s reflection on her mother potentially being autistic, and the painful question of whether understanding that context changes, or excuses, the abuse she experienced.Together, they explore how children internalise blame when a parent cannot attune, regulate or repair, and how compassion is often confused with self erasure. Kate speaks about the fear of anger, the pressure to be fair at her own expense, and the belief that holding someone accountable is unkind. Helen challenges this directly, separating explanation from excuse and naming the cost of silencing your own experience.This is a conversation about guilt, power and the right to name harm, even when you understand where it came from.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

12/17/2025

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1h 33m
12/24/2025

38. Why Does My Body Still Feel Like a Battleground?

This week Helen is joined by Lucy, and together they explore the lasting impact of growing up with criticism, shaming and emotional chaos. Despite years of therapy and increased awareness, Lucy still carries a harsh internal voice shaped by her relationship with her mother, particularly around her body, appearance and worth. Confidence was treated as something dangerous, and self acceptance often led to ridicule or punishment, leaving Lucy hyper aware of how she is seen and quick to turn against herself.The episode looks at how body shame and self loathing can become coping strategies in homes where safety is unpredictable and love feels conditional. Lucy reflects on growing up around fear, conflict and instability, and how focusing on her body became a way to gain control when everything else felt overwhelming. It is an exploration of projection, survival and identity, and the slow work of separating your own truth from the voices that taught you to stay small. If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/ Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

12/24/2025

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1h 36m
04/09/2025

1. Is My Child a Narcissist?

When a child’s behaviour pushes all our buttons, it can be hard to separate the present from the past. In this powerful episode, a mother explores her deep discomfort around her son’s intense emotional responses and defiance—asking herself if he might be a narcissist, like her own father was. But as she sits down with Helen, a different picture begins to emerge. How do unresolved wounds from narcissistic abuse shape the way we interpret our children’s behaviour? What part is ADHD or Autism playing in the dynamic? This honest, tender conversation dives into projection, ADHD, autism, parental guilt, and the courage it takes to break inherited patterns. Join The Hub at https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ To be on the show please apply here: https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

04/09/2025

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1h 19m
11/12/2025

32. The Hardest Thing About Going No Contact with Harriet Shearsmith

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this conversation, Helen is joined by author, coach and trainee psychotherapist Harriet Shearsmith to explore the emotional landscape of going no contact with a parent. Through listener questions, they speak to the grief that comes with choosing distance, particularly the longing for the parent you never truly had and the ache of not having a senior adult to lean on when life feels heavy.Harriet reflects on growing up enmeshed and responsible for her mother’s feelings, and how difficult it can be to recognise your own needs when you were raised to anticipate and absorb everyone else’s. Together, they discuss the pain of losing not just a parent but the version of safety and care you hoped they could provide, and the quiet courage it takes to build that safety elsewhere.This episode holds space for the anger, the sadness and the relief. It is a thoughtful and validating conversation about boundaries, grief and the slow work of becoming your own safe place.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

11/12/2025

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1h 8m
07/30/2025

17. Why Were They Willing to Sacrifice Me?

What if the moment you chose yourself was the moment they turned against you? In this episode, Lola joins Helen to share her story of surviving an emotionally abusive marriage and the painful fallout that followed. Raised in a household where love came with conditions and silence was expected, Lola entered her first long-term relationship as a teenager. What followed was years of emotional entrapment, manipulation, and failed attempts to leave, all under the weight of cultural and family pressure. When Lola finally made the decision to walk away, she was met with humiliation, rejection, and a devastating lack of support. She describes the isolation that followed, including being gaslit, coerced into couples therapy, and eventually made homeless. Yet through it all, she held on to a quiet determination to survive and rebuild. Now living abroad with her independence reclaimed, Lola reflects on the emotional toll of reactive abuse, self-blame, and the fear of connection after betrayal. This is a powerful conversation about scapegoating, identity loss, and the slow work of self-trust. With clarity and courage, Lola shares what it means to heal on your own terms and find safety after being told you do not deserve it. Content warning: This episodes contains discussions of coercive control and emotional abuse. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠ To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

07/30/2025

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1h 36m
12/10/2025

36. Is It My Identity or a Survival Strategy?

In this conversation, Helen speaks with Sarah, who has carried a sense of not being good enough since childhood. Growing up in an environment where curiosity was treated as defiance and undiagnosed ADHD was seen as naughtiness, Sarah learned early that safety depended on silence, compliance and taking the blame. As an adult, that history lives on in self blame, people pleasing and the fear of letting others down. Together they explore how old coping mechanisms form in the absence of safety, how quickly internal voices can take over, and why worthiness can feel frightening even when you long for it.The conversation touches on grief for the child who tried so hard, the tension between knowing you are a good person and feeling unworthy, and the relief that comes when familiar patterns repeat, even at your own expense. It is honest look at what it means to slowly imagine a life where worth is not something earned, but something felt.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

12/10/2025

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1h 11m
11/26/2025

34. Parenting After Trauma

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application In this episode, Helen speaks directly to the challenges of parenting when your own childhood was marked by fear, invalidation or emotional neglect. Drawing on the questions she is asked most often, she explores why a child’s big feelings can feel overwhelming to a parent with trauma, how rescue becomes a survival strategy rather than support, and why holding both connection and boundary is the foundation of safety for a child. Helen unpacks the difference between old nervous system reactions and present day parenting choices, and offers compassionate guidance on repairing after you lose your temper, recognising when you are parenting your inner child instead of the child in front of you, and staying steady when your child rejects you or pulls away. She speaks honestly about the grief that can surface as you watch your child receive the care you never had, and the responsibility that comes with breaking long patterns of control, shame or emotional burden. Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

11/26/2025

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45 min
JAN 14

40. Is It Autism or Trauma? (Replay)

This week we're replaying one of our listeners' favourite episodes in which Patrick asks, is it autism or trauma? When we’ve grown up in chaos, it can be hard to untangle our trauma from who we truly are. In this episode, Patrick explores the tangled web of trust, identity, and survival after a lifetime shaped by narcissistic abuse - and a recent autism diagnosis that’s reframed everything. As he sits down with Helen, we witness a moving conversation about how trauma disguises itself in our thoughts, how autism and trauma intertwine, and how addiction can become a clever - if costly - coping mechanism. Together, they unpack people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and the shame that lingers long after the abuse ends. This is an episode about rebuilding from the rubble, reclaiming joy, and learning to trust yourself again. If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/ Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Jan 14

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1h 23m
12/03/2025

35. How Do I Heal From a Friend's Betrayal?

In this episode, Helen sits with Evie as she unravels the painful chain reaction that followed the betrayal of a long-term friend. What began as a rupture in a twenty one year friendship opened the door to something much older. Memories of a childhood shaped by a narcissistic mother, the loss of her father, and years spent surviving rather than becoming herself. The fallout has stirred insomnia, nightmares and flashbacks, as well as a grief for the identity she feels she never had the chance to form.Together they explore how familiar patterns repeat in friendships and relationships, why suppressed trauma can erupt when a safe person is lost, and what it means to rebuild trust from the inside out. The conversation looks at anger, self blame and the longing to be understood, and it gently shifts the focus from the behaviour of others to the power Evie has to choose herself now. It is an honest and reflective dialogue about identity, boundaries and beginning again after years of being shaped by someone else’s story.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

12/03/2025

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1h 35m
11/19/2025

33. Am I Abandoning My Disabled Sibling?

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationUntangling love from duty when independence was denied.In this episode, Helen speaks with Isabel about the impossible guilt of growing up as the able-bodied sibling in a family built around care, control and expectation. From childhood, Isabel was told she would one day be responsible for her disabled sister, a message that shaped her identity and left little room for her own life or freedom.Together they explore what happens when love becomes obligation, when guilt is weaponised by a parent, and when the desire for independence collides with deep compassion. The conversation touches on glass children, emotional parentification, and the pain of being invisible except when needed. Helen helps Isabel begin to untangle love from duty, and recognise that protecting herself does not mean abandoning care.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

11/19/2025

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1h 15m

Each week Helen invites a guest to explore a problem they’re facing and works through it with them; peeling back the layers to understand what’s happening and offering ways to move forward and make changes to resolve the issue. Whether it’s coping with narcissistic parents; going no contact; parenting ADHD or Autistic children; parenting after trauma; or their own ADHD or Autism; Helen helps the listener untangle the parts that keeps them stuck. To access Helen’s community focused on healing, learning and support, visit https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ helenvilliersliberation.substack.com

3.8 (5)

MENTAL HEALTH

In The Liberation Effect, listen as Helen explores issues guests are struggling with, helping them unpick why they're stuck and what they might do to move on. Addressing narcissistic or emotionally abusive parents, friends or colleagues, ADHD, Autism, and parenting, this podcast tackles tricky topics with compassion, empathy and honesty helping the guest and the listener understand what they're facing and how to move through it. In The Expert Series (subscription only) Helen talks to professionals about their specialism in relation to the course being explored on Helen's membership programme, The Hub that month. Members of The Hub get free access to this podcast.

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Contact Helen Child Villiers

The Liberation Effect

Exclusive episodes to deepen healing.

Top Shows

37. Is it Still Abuse if She's Autistic?

38. Why Does My Body Still Feel Like a Battleground?

1. Is My Child a Narcissist?

32. The Hardest Thing About Going No Contact with Harriet Shearsmith

17. Why Were They Willing to Sacrifice Me?

36. Is It My Identity or a Survival Strategy?

34. Parenting After Trauma

40. Is It Autism or Trauma? (Replay)

35. How Do I Heal From a Friend's Betrayal?

33. Am I Abandoning My Disabled Sibling?

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4. Sex and Shame with Rachael Hibbert

7. Boundaries and Trauma with Juliet Grayson

5. Body Image and Shame with The Fat Counsellors

5. Body Image and Shame with The Fat Counsellors

8. Covert Sexual Abuse

3. Autism/ADHD & People Pleasing with Bev Woolmer

8. Covert Sexual Abuse

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The Liberation Effect

Exclusive episodes to deepen healing.

Top Shows

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The Expert Series

Exclusive episodes to deepen healing.

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