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27 янв.
Общество и культура

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21 мая

Why “I’ll Deal With It Later” Is an Energy Leak with Ari Tuckman

We've all said it. "I'll deal with it later." And somehow, later never comes. The thing just sits there — not in your calendar, but in your head. It pings you in the shower. It shows up right before you fall asleep. That's an energy leak. This week, Ari Tuckman returns for his sixth appearance to unpack what's actually happening when we tell ourselves "later." What is the ADHD brain doing in that moment? Are we making a real decision, or just kicking the can? And how do we tell the difference? We dig into: The two flavors of procrastination — not feeling the future vs. avoiding the discomfortWhy "later" needs a "when," and what specificity actually changesThe difference between a task that needs doing and a decision that needs makingHow to close an open loop that's been open way too longGoing toward positives vs. avoiding negatives, and why one of those is more sustainableTime estimation, and why some things aren't knowable until you startAri's new book, the ADHD Productivity ManualGuest Spotlight Ari Tuckman, PsyD is a psychologist, author, and international presenter specializing in ADHD. He's given more than 600 presentations and podcast interviews across America and nine other countries, and is the author of four books: ADHD After Dark, Understand Your Brain, Get More Done, More Attention, Less Deficit, and Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD. He chairs the CHADD Conference Committee. This is his sixth appearance on the show. Links & Notes Ari's website: https://drarituckman.comAri on Instagram: @AriTuckmanPsyDBooks by Ari Tuckman:ADHD After DarkUnderstand Your Brain, Get More DoneMore Attention, Less DeficitIntegrative Treatment for Adult ADHDADHD Productivity Manual (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:13) - Join us over on Patreon! (02:13) - Introducing Ari Tuckman (03:06) - "I'll do it later..." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

21 мая

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38 мин.
21 мая

How Validation Calms the Brain: The Science of EAR Statements

When someone in a high conflict situation gets upset, the instinct is to explain, correct, or reason with them — and that almost always makes things worse. The reason isn't a mystery anymore: it's neuroscience. Validation doesn't just make people feel better; it quiets the amygdala's threat response and activates the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotions. An EAR statement — something showing empathy, attention, or respect — is the fastest way to get there. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, connect recent brain research to the EAR statement framework — covering why tone of voice affects the vagus nerve, how to calm yourself before calming someone else, and when EAR statements shouldn't be used at all. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:49) - Validation (02:39) - Psychology Today Article (06:14) - Polyvagal Theory (11:08) - Why Harder for Some? (14:58) - How Do We Validate? (16:33) - Encouraging Statements (19:02) - Invalidation (21:42) - Example (24:00) - We Are in Charge of Ourselves (28:16) - When EAR Statements Won’t Work (32:53) - High Conflict Situations (34:40) - Wrap Up

21 мая

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36 мин.
-1 дн.

Why Advice Stops Working When You’re Tired

We've all been there: someone offers a perfectly reasonable suggestion, and instead of taking it in, you bristle. You're tired. You're cranky. The last thing you want is advice. This week, Pete and Nikki tackle what happens when ADHD meets fatigue — and why the strategies that usually work suddenly don't. This isn't laziness. It isn't a character flaw. It's what happens when executive functions are already running on a deficit and you pile fatigue on top. Pete brings the research, including a study showing 62% of adults with ADHD meet the criteria for chronic fatigue syndrome — a reminder that "everybody gets tired" is true, but ADHD brains get tired in a different and vastly more significant way. The conversation moves from the science to the lived experience: the guilt loop that keeps you from resting, the way fatigue distorts reality until small tasks feel like moral referendums, and the rewiring required to treat recovery as part of the work — not a reward you have to earn. Plus: why "I don't wanna" might be a capacity check in disguise, the four categories of recovery that actually work (hint: sleep is only one of them), and Nikki's insight that the recovery muscle is built through trial and error, not advance planning. LINKS & RESOURCES Past episode referenced: The Opportunity CostPast episode referenced: Capacity conversation with Brooke SchnittmanSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:10) - The Tired Problem ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

-1 дн.

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26 мин.
-1 дн.

How to Leave a High Conflict Relationship Without Escalating

Fear of retaliation keeps many people trapped in high conflict relationships long after they know they need to leave. Emotional explosions, smear campaigns, threats involving children, financial punishment, legal warfare — the threat of what might happen when you finally say the words can feel more paralyzing than staying. The Betty Broderick case is an extreme example, but the dynamic it illustrates — unmanaged emotions, all-or-nothing thinking, and escalating revenge — shows up in milder forms in relationships every day. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, walk through what a safer, stepwise exit actually looks like — and why an abrupt in-person announcement is the most dangerous approach. They cover the biggest mistakes people make when leaving, how to document behavior and prepare for false allegations before they happen, and what courts and police actually respond to when you present your situation. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:26) - Betty Broderick Case (11:01) - Why People Are Afraid to Leave Relationships with HCPs (14:04) - Mistakes When Trying to Leave (17:06) - Creating Escalations (20:11) - When It’s Not a Marriage (21:48) - Getting Prepared (28:04) - Giving Warning (28:47) - If on the Fence (30:17) - Wrap Up

-1 дн.

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33 мин.
14 мая

When It's Not Your Fault: Blame, Backlash, and Setting Limits

When a high conflict person says it's all your fault, most reasonable people do something predictable — they start wondering what they did wrong. That instinct toward self-reflection is healthy in most relationships. With high conflict people, it becomes a trap. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, unpack why high conflict personalities blame with an intensity that triggers your brain's threat-detection system — and why that intensity is precisely what makes you absorb guilt that isn't yours. They cover how to reality-test yourself when the blame lands hard, what to expect when you finally set a limit, and how to sit with the backlash without retreating into self-doubt. It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:43) - It’s NOT Your Fault (02:22) - Why Do HCPs Blame? (07:00) - Absorbing Guilt (13:31) - Example (17:36) - Setting Limits and Potential Backlash (19:28) - Why HCPs Escalate (24:20) - Grow Used to Uncomfortable Feelings (26:29) - Knowing When It’s Not Safe (28:28) - Key Takeaways (29:27) - Wrap Up

14 мая

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31 мин.
14 мая

The Schedule That Bends Without Breaking

You've heard it before, probably said it yourself: time blocking doesn't work for me. Every block that slips becomes one more piece of evidence that you've failed the system — or that the system has failed you. So this week, Nikki and Pete try something different. They change the word. Nikki walks through three terms that get thrown around in planning circles — intentional planning, time blocking, and the one she's been reaching for more and more lately: flexible scheduling. Pete pushes back (gently, mostly) on why we need a new word for something that was never supposed to be rigid in the first place. And together they unpack the real reason so many ADHDers bounce off scheduling: it's not the strategy, it's the story we tell ourselves when the strategy bends. Along the way: the dangerous allure of hyperscheduling and why it only really works if your livelihood is measured in billable minutes; why time blindness isn't a reason to skip time blocking (and why estimation was never the point); the spoon theory and scheduling around energy instead of just hours; and Pete's brand-new metaphor — age of time — for thinking about margin, buffer, and what it feels like to live three weeks ahead of yourself instead of one day behind. Plus, Nikki drops another download: Your ADHD Schedule Starter, a short, practical guide for building a flexible schedule step by step, with a reflection section built in so you can keep adjusting as you go. Link in the show notes. Links & Notes Your ADHD Schedule Starter (free download)Unapologetically ADHD by Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer — the book behind the frameworkFour Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver BurkemanGPS Planning Membership — Nikki's coaching community for planning, capture, and workflowSupport the show on Patreon — early ad-free episodes, livestream recordings, members-only DiscordDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:46) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (01:59) - Talking Schedules ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

14 мая

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26 мин.
7 мая

What to Look For in a Planning Tool

There's a moment every ADHDer knows: you open the task manager, see the sea of red, and close it again. This week, Nikki and Pete sit with that moment — and with what it's actually telling you. The instinct is to blame the tool. Something's wrong with the app, the planner, the notebook. Time for something new. But what if the tool is doing exactly what it's supposed to do, and the thing you're really avoiding is something else entirely? Nikki walks through the two non-negotiables of any planning toolkit, why hybrid systems quietly fall apart in the in-between stages, and the one thing she asks every new one-on-one client to do within a week. Pete confesses to running four systems at once, lays out his tool-finding intestines on the table (his words, not ours), and makes the case for why your app isn't just an app — it's a lifeline. Plus: FOBO, task rot, the moral weight of a few simple minutes, and why the best tools are the ones that ask you to pay for them. Stick around for Nikki's brand-new download, Your Planning Tool Finder — a short guide to the questions worth answering before you pick your next tool. Link below. Links & Notes Your Planning Tool Finder (free download)Unapologetically ADHD by Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer — the book behind the frameworkGPS Planning Membership — Nikki's coaching community for planning, capture, and workflowSupport the show on Patreon — early ad-free episodes, livestream recordings, members-only Discord: (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:44) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:34) - Talking Tools ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

7 мая

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36 мин.
30 апр.

When Productivity Advice Ignores Capacity with Brooke Schnittman

Most productivity advice was built for brains that start on demand, stay consistent, and prioritize logically. That's not us. This week, Brooke Schnittman returns for her third visit to the show to dig into one of the most frustrating disconnects in ADHD life: the gap between what we think we can do in a day and what our actual capacity will allow. Pete and Nikki walk through the familiar trap — fifteen red-line tasks, two hours of actual focus time, and the stubborn belief that somehow we'll get it all done anyway. Brooke names it for what it is: magical thinking backed by people-pleasing, propped up by shame. Together they explore why ADHD brains need to plan to plan, what "sampling the no" actually looks like in practice, and how masking shows up in our task lists in ways we rarely notice. Brooke introduces her STOP framework for sorting the week — Stressful, Time-consuming, Ordinary, Passionate — and makes a case for the kind of white space most of us have been taught to see as failure. There's also a frank conversation about burnout: what it looks like for neurodivergent people, why it lasts longer than we expect, and the 1% action that can keep momentum alive when everything else has stopped. And a reminder that if you're showing up at 40% battery, then 40% is your 100% for the day — and that's enough. GUEST SPOTLIGHT Brooke Schnittman, MA, PCC, BCC is a nationally recognized ADHD coach and the founder of Coaching With Brooke. She's the author of Activate Your ADHD Potential, a roadmap for high-achieving ADHDers who are tired of running fast and getting nowhere. Brooke trains ADHD coaches through her 3C Activation System and is passionate about bringing ADHD coaching into universities to support students directly. This is her third appearance on the show. LINKS & NOTES Coaching With BrookeActivate Your ADHD Potential by Brooke SchnittmanSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:51) - Intentions Versus Expectations (09:20) - Productivity and People Pleasing (20:03) - The Complicated Question of Capacity (31:16) - Burnout ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

30 апр.

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38 мин.
7 мая

When No One Believes You About High Conflict

High conflict cases have a well-documented credibility problem: the person with high conflict personality traits walks into the lawyer’s office, the HR department, or the courtroom looking calm and composed. The person who has been responding to years of escalation walks in looking emotional, reactive, and hard to follow. Without a framework for recognizing this pattern, systems can unintentionally reward the behavior driving the conflict—and penalize the person trying to respond to it. Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, walk through the biggest mistakes people make when presenting high conflict concerns to lawyers, HR, courts, and adult protective services—and offer a concrete strategy for making those concerns land. They cover why chronological storytelling buries the most critical information, how to work with professionals who don’t yet see what’s happening, and what to do if you’ve already vented or lost your cool. It’s All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM. Full Show Notes & Resources Submit Questions | Full Show Notes | Bookstore | Website Watch this episode on YouTube Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:50) - When No One Else Sees It (03:19) - Why Do HCPs Come Across Credible? (07:55) - Biggest Mistakes (13:43) - Connecting Behaviors to Laws (19:28) - Repairing After Venting (23:52) - Takeaways (24:36) - In Legal Case (27:00) - Wrap Up

7 мая

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29 мин.
9 апр.

What Changes About Executive Function After 40 with Dr. Brandy Callahan

Here's something nobody tells you about aging with ADHD: the part that feels like decline might not be decline at all. It might be retirement. Or perimenopause. Or just the fact that the external structure that quietly managed your symptoms for thirty years finally disappeared — and nobody warned you it was doing that much work. The question isn't whether your brain is changing. It is. The question is whether you understand why, and what the research actually says about where it leads. Dr. Brandy Callahan is a clinical neuropsychologist, Canada Research Chair in Adult Clinical Neuropsychology, and the founder of the LiBra Lab — the Lifespan Brain Health Lab at the University of Calgary. Her research sits at the intersection most researchers haven't bothered to explore: what happens to the ADHD brain across decades, and specifically, what connects ADHD to elevated dementia risk. What she's finding — about allostatic burden, about the gap between how people perform in a lab versus how they function in a grocery store on a Sunday afternoon, about what a lifetime of navigating a neurotypical world may actually cost the brain biologically — is the conversation this series has been building toward. There is hard news in here. There is also, genuinely, a lot of hope. Guest Spotlight Dr. Brandy Callahan, PhD, RPsych is a clinical neuropsychologist, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Calgary, and a Canada Research Chair in Adult Clinical Neuropsychology. She is the founder and principal investigator of the LiBra Lab — the Lifespan Brain Health Lab — which focuses specifically on ADHD in women and in older adulthood, and she came to ADHD research not through personal experience but through a memory clinic, where she kept meeting older adults being evaluated for dementia who turned out to have lived their whole lives with undiagnosed ADHD. Her current research is investigating what may drive elevated dementia risk in adults with ADHD — including allostatic burden, cerebral small vessel disease, and the biological cost of decades of chronic stress. She is also currently running ADHD Her, an online study about girls and women with ADHD across the lifespan, open to participants from age 8 to 87. Learn more at libralab.ca, and find the ADHD Her study by searching "ADHD Her" online. Links & Notes LiBra LabADHD Her Study (online, open to participants ages 8-87LiBra Lab participant registry (RADAR)Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (05:56) - What does a research neuropsychologist actually do? (08:34) - How does EF Age? (15:01) - Charting the Decades (22:22) - The Shame Cycle... Missing in the Lab (23:39) - Alostatic Burden (37:06) - So... where's the hope? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

9 апр.

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44 мин.

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