Jamie was living with her meth-addicted husband for over two years while pregnant with their second child. Though she knew something was wrong, he repeatedly lied and made her feel crazy. She suffered in silence to protect him until she found his "sex den" and crack pipes, confirming her worst fears. In a last-ditch effort, she staged an intervention with his family. After dropping him at rehab, she felt free for the first time in years. _____ If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com ______ To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com _____ SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE: addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting, molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness. _____ Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle _____ Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon ______ HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW? Tell Your Friends & Share Online!Follow, Rate & Review: Apple Podcasts | SpotifyFollow & Listen iHeart | Stitcher | Google Podcasts | Amazon | PandoraSpread the word via social mediaInstagramTwitterFacebook#SecretLifePodcastDonate - You can also support the show with a one-time or monthly donation via PayPal (make payment to secretlifepodcast@icloud.com) or at our WEBSITE. Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis) Official WebsiteInstagramFacebookTwitter Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt) Main WebsiteDirecting WebsiteInstagramFacebookTwitter TRANSCRIPT: Jaime: Like, I found a crackpipe. And then he would give me, like, one. Yes, but then he said he would stop, and then I would drug test him. And I didn't realize there was something called synthetic urine. I mean, this is all stuff I had to figure out by myself. Brianne: Welcome to the Secret Life Podcast. Tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine. Brianne: Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to reach the light. That's what I did. After twelve years of recovery in sex and love addiction, I finally found my soulmate myself. Please join me in my novel, secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and love Addict. A four time bestseller on Amazon. It's a brutal, honest, raw, gnarly ride, but hilarious at the same time. Check it out now on Amazon. Welcome to Secret Life Podcast. I'm Breanne Davis Gantt. Today, I'm pulling back the curtains of all kinds of human secrets. We'll hear about what people are hiding from themselves or others. You know, those deep, dark secrets we probably want to go to our grave with, or those lighter, funnier secrets that are just plain embarrassing, really, the how, what, when, where, and why of it all. And today, my guest is Jamie. Jamie was living with a meth addict, and he hid it from herBrianne: Now, Jamie, I have a question for you. What is your secret? Jaime: My secret is that I was living with a meth addict, and he was my husband. And, he hid it from me from a very long time, and I, had to become a sleuth and figure it out and then escape it. Brianne: Wow. Okay. So many questions. Okay. Before you knew his problem and his addiction, were you even lying to yourself that something was going on? Did you have any inkling? Jaime: I partied a lot when I was younger, so I'm not a saint. Brianne: None of us are, girl. Don't even worry about that. Jaime: So I was more upset that we didn't have trust and faith in each other, that he could at least be honest with me. So I knew something was up right away, and I kept approaching him and asking him and telling him that I was a safe space and he needed to at least tell me the truth and then we could help each other. And he just kept lying to me. And so he made me feel like I was crazy and that I didn't know what I was talking about. And I was wrong, and how dare I? And so it really tests a woman's intuition, which is amazing, and we're right, and we just don't listen to ourselves. Brianne: you are already stating what I've been saying. A woman knows, like, you know when something's not right, and then sometimes the other person, a man or a woman, makes you feel like you're crazy, right. Jaime: Because they don't want to get caught. Brianne: Yeah. Jaime: For his sake. It's a sickness. I mean, doing meth is not a small thing, but I was desperately trying to help. But then the more you tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, and the more it goes down a rabbit hole. And then meth leads to sex addiction, which he had, and a porn addiction, which he had. And then I was pregnant with my second child and had a three year old as well. So on top of this feeling crazy, destroying this absolutely amazing moment that I was supposed to be living in, it turned into a hell for me. Brianne: Yeah. And especially being pregnant, knowing all those hormones, taking care of a toddler, and trying to keep your marriage together, and you're trying to just hold it together. Your husband used synthetic urine to pass drug tests while pregnantBrianne: Now here's my question for you. How long was it going on? How long were you questioning him? Jaime: I was questioning him from the moment I was pregnant until, our second child was, about a year and a half because I just couldn't like, I found a crackpipe, and then he would give me, like, one. Yes, but then he said he would stop, and then I would drug test him. And I didn't realize there was something called synthetic urine. I mean, this is all stuff I had to figure out by myself. Brianne: Wait, okay, I don't know what synthetic urine is. Can you explain to the listeners and me what that is? Jaime: So synthetic urine is something you can use to pass a drug test that you can buy, apparently, at ah, like headshots. That's what I've been told. And you use it to have clean urine. And he hid his in his pants, warmed it up in his pants, and would use it to take a drug test right in front of me. Brianne: Like put a hole in it, and then it squirted. Jaime: It's like a squirt bottle. Brianne: Yeah. Jaime: So imagine visine or something. Or something like that. So, yeah, it was pretty like the levels of deception where he was trying to make me feel crazy was insane. So that was really hard for me. Brianne: So when you finally figured it out and he said, yes, that is my crackpipe, and he was going to stop, did you then keep the secret longer from other people around you? Did anybody know what was going on? So this you kept to yourself. Jaime: I suffered in silence for about a year and a half, and then I finally opened up to his parents because I was desperately trying to save his life, because once his parents found out, we were going to lose everything because they are his lifeline. And I just desperately didn't want my friends to know, so I didn't have to tell them later. Oh, yeah, my husband's a meth addict, and so I just punished myself, basically. Brianne: So you kept this secret and you were trying to save somebody, which I know and other people probably listening know you cannot save anyone if they don't want to be saved. So it's almost an impossible task. You're putting on yourself? Jaime: It was. And looking back, it only hurt everybody because my kids were getting half of me. I was a shell. And the first time I saw it, I just should have left. And then he would have had to figure it out himself. You're looking actively at one specific woman, for him at leastBrianne: So what was your darkest moment, holding this secret? Do you remember a specific moment where you looked for me? I'll just say like one of my darkest moment. I remember I floated out of my body and was kind of like watching what was going on. Did you have any moment like that? Jaime: I had two. I had one in the thick of it where I found him in the back in the garage with like a porn sex den. And he had gone missing in the middle of the night and I couldn't find him. And finally I found him and then I looked on his phone and it was just like, find your next door f**k and all these crazy porn sites. And then the second moment and that moment felt so surreal because I was pregnant. Brianne: And I think porn is the worst thing in the world right now. I think it's killing our world. I think it's killing intimacy between two people. So that alone, if that was just his addiction, that's pretty bad. Jaime: Well, you're choosing to do this instead of with me. I mean, my thing is always if you want to watch porn, at least include me and let's do something together. I'm not saying let's make about intimacy. Brianne: Or that connection, but when you go off and hide it by yourself. Jaime: There'S an issue there that to me feels like cheating. Brianne: So that feels cheating to you? I've never heard anyone say that. And why does that feel like it's cheating to you? Jaime: You're hiding something from me. You're looking actively at one specific woman, for him at least. And you were actively finding time to make time just to do this and to not be with us. Brianne: Yeah, I agree, that is definitely cheating. I just wanted to hear what you were feeling. But I agree that to me would be a betrayal almost as going out and intimately being with somebody else, which. Jaime: I think he was as well. So then the second thing was the second feeling that I felt was when he finally we checked him into rehab. We had a family intervention. How did that go? It was crazy. He was just bananas. The whole like getting him just to get him in the car took us 4 hours. but we got him in the car and he was drinking, his last drink in the car. And he was kicking, I was driving, he was kicking the seat, verbally abusing me, calling me names, cussing at me. Dropped
