Elizabeth Day

Shows

Episodes

  1. Rosamund Pike - ‘Failure Is Pretending To Be Someone You’re Not’

    3D AGO

    Rosamund Pike - ‘Failure Is Pretending To Be Someone You’re Not’

    Rosamund Pike! What a woman. Famed for her portrayals of razor-sharp, morally complex and deliciously unpredictable characters, she brings that same intriguing duality to this conversation. Thoughtful and quietly rebellious, she reflects on a career that has defied neat narratives from the very beginning. After taking a year out from studying English at University of Oxford to pursue acting, she graduated and stepped straight into the global spotlight as Bond girl Miranda Frost in Die Another Day. From there came a string of unforgettable movies: Pride & Prejudice, Jack Reacher, A Private War and Saltburn. Her chilling performance in Gone Girl earned her an Oscar nomination and she took home a Golden Globe for I Care a Lot. In 2025, she returned to the stage for the first time in 15 years in the National Theatre’s production of Inter Alia. In this episode, she talks about her ‘failure’ to get married, the realities of raising two sons and her decision not to read a single review of her work for the past 25 years. Plus why she’s ‘constantly in battle’ with her own fear, her failure to be an action movie hero, her miserable attempt to cook a rabbit and whether or not she’s ‘cool’. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:18 No reviews rule 06:57 Early perfectionism and stage craft 07:58 Inter Alia and modern womanhood 10:09 Luminate meditation mask 12:42 Failure to learn Chinese 19:09 Onstage mishaps and acting roles 28:59 What Cool Really Means 29:26 Cool Girl vs Amy 32:21 Failing at Being An Action Star 36:52 Failure to Get Married 45:17 Mothering Two Boys 47:28 Smells and Teen Hygiene 48:44 Rabbit Dinner and Being Enough 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: Failure is usually pretending to be someone you’re not. I don’t think you ever regret having a big love affair - even if goes to shit. I’m quite a coward. I like to play brave people because I’m not. I’m constantly in battle with my own fear. Cool means that you can go your own way. You don't give too many, f***s... you can think originally. I didn’t want to be the sex symbol. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Inter Alia is on at the Wyndham’s Theatre: 19 March - 20 June 2026 Rosamund’s Meditation App is: www.lumenate.co Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Glennon Doyle - on wildness, the end of people-pleasing and why we can all do hard things swap.fm/l/Nd3ZzVy73FXUMupJ4i1q Phoebe Waller Bridge - on creative control, perfectionism and the fear of being misunderstood swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Rosamund answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    57 min
  2. SPECIAL EP: On Fertility and Finding Your Family… with Rebecca Coxon

    5D AGO

    SPECIAL EP: On Fertility and Finding Your Family… with Rebecca Coxon

    In this one‑off special, Elizabeth sits down with author Rebecca Coxon to discuss family, fertility and the secrets that have shaped her life: after uploading her DNA to an ancestry site, Rebecca discovered that the man who raised her was not her biological father – a revelation that sent her on a remarkable search for the truth about her origins. Her memoir Inconceivable launches Elizabeth’s new imprint, Big Day Books. Rebecca writes with clarity and compassion about being a donor‑conceived IVF triplet, later donating her own eggs and facing fertility treatment herself – a story of family secrets, shame, resilience and deep love. You don’t need personal experience of IVF or DNA surprises to be moved by this conversation. Rebecca is thoughtful, emotionally perceptive and quietly courageous. She speaks about having her identity reshaped overnight, the coexistence of gratitude and grief, and the invisible threads that bind us across generations. This is a discussion about truth, belonging and the ethics and emotions of creating new life – and about redefining family not by biology alone, but through love, choice and understanding. A deeply honest, intimate and ultimately hopeful discussion – and a very special moment for How to Fail. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 01:15 Donor Conceived Truth 02:52 Test Results Moment 05:26 Endometriosis Reality 07:57 Choosing Egg Donation 08:36 US Donor Market 10:26 Recipient Letter Impact 13:58 Dating And Time Pressure 15:53 James And IVF Collapse 20:50 Meeting Donor Rodney 30:47 Pregnancy After Book 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: The experience of watching your friends have babies. Every milestone in their lives feels like a splinter in mine. I'm still on the shoreline waiting for my time, and I'm standing alongside people who are struggling." — Rebecca describes the mindset she had while finishing her book, just before discovering she was pregnant. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Rebecca’s new book Inconceivable is available to buy now: www.bigdaybooks.co.uk/inconceivable Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    41 min
  3. Toni Laites - Love Island Healed My Toxic Dating Patterns

    MAR 4

    Toni Laites - Love Island Healed My Toxic Dating Patterns

    Toni Laites made history last year as the first American to win Love Island, but her journey to the villa was anything but ordinary. Discovered in Las Vegas working as a cabana girl by the show’s creative director, Toni was persuaded to fly 6,000 miles to Mallorca. The rest, as they say, is history. But you don’t need to be a Love Island superfan to love this episode. Toni is funny, emotionally intelligent and disarmingly honest. She opens up about living with the chronic illness Ulcerative Colitis, her pattern of choosing the wrong men in the past, working through anxious attachment and the hard-won strength it takes to forgive yourself. This is a conversation about resilience, self-awareness and what it really means to back yourself - even when the odds (and the public vote) are against you. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 03:18 Vegas Sales to Villa Casting 05:36 Saying Yes to Love Island 07:21 Life Inside the Villa 08:33 Votes, Outcasts and Forgiveness 10:57 The Big Three Friendship 14:18 Health Scare and Ulcerative Colitis 28:10 Tourist In London 28:43 Toxic Dating Patterns 32:22 Pressure On Her Relationship 34:57 Fame And Social Media 37:34 Family And Attachment 44:28 Self Criticism And Hate 49:44 Plan For The Future 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: There is value in doing nothing and taking a step back and waiting for good things to come. I always say not all disabilities are visible and people don't really understand what that's like. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Olivia Attwood - on heartbreak, public scrutiny and building a successful career after Love Island. Jessel Taank - on infertility, identity and The Real Housewives of New York. 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Toni answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    55 min
  4. Ghost Story Update: Burning Questions Answered

    SEASON 1, EPISODE 8 • SUBSCRIBERS ONLY

    Ghost Story Update: Burning Questions Answered

    ‘Best Documentary Podcast’ Ambies 2024 award-winner and ‘Best True Crime’ British Podcast Awards 2024 nominee, Ghost Story, is now also an Apple Podcasts ‘Series Essential’. In celebration of this accolade, Wondery has made Ghost Story available ad-free for a limited time only on Apple Podcasts. When Tristan Redman decided to investigate a murder in his wife’s family, and a haunting in his teenage bedroom, he knew he was asking for trouble. Would anyone in the family still be speaking to him by Christmas? Turns out that’s a question a lot of listeners have been asking since the series dropped in October – along with questions about the investigation itself and whether Tristan and producer Annie Brown have come to believe in ghosts. So we asked one Ghost Story fan – Elizabeth Day, award-winning author and host of the hit podcast, How to Fail with Elizabeth Day – to sit down with Tristan and Annie for this special bonus episode, where they explore the answers to some of the great questions which have poured in since we launched the show. If you have a really great ghost story or a wild family drama, reach out to us at GhostStory@wondery.com or call us at 1-347-460-9473 to share more details. Please include your best contact info, so we can follow-up if we're interested in learning more. Who knows? Your story could be the basis for Ghost Story season 2. Disclaimer: Please note, by submitting your idea, you acknowledge Wondery may already have similar ideas, Wondery is not obligated to you in any manner if Wondery obtained such ideas from sources other than yourself and that you are representing that you are the sole author of the material and this material doesn't violate any third party rights. You also acknowledge other terms and conditions may apply.

    55 min
  5. Baz Luhrmann - ‘I self-medicate with creativity’

    FEB 25

    Baz Luhrmann - ‘I self-medicate with creativity’

    Few filmmakers have a style as bold, romantic and unmistakable as Baz Luhrmann. From his breakout debut Strictly Ballroom to the glittering spectacle of The Great Gatsby starring Leonardo DiCaprio, and the fever-dream energy of Elvis, Luhrmann has built a career on transforming familiar stories into cinematic events. In this episode, he takes us inside one of his most iconic creative decisions: the unforgettable fish tank scene in his 1996 adaptation of Romeo + Juliet - and reveals how that moment came to life. We also explore his latest project, EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert, a return to Elvis Presley through newly uncovered footage from the legendary Las Vegas residency. Beyond the films, Luhrmann reflects on the journey that shaped him. Raised in Herons Creek, a tiny rural town in New South Wales, Australia, he grew up surrounded by performance and storytelling: his father ran a quirky petrol station and cinema, while his mother owned a dress shop and taught ballroom dancing. We discuss the setbacks that tested him, his unconventional audition process, his enduring creative partnership with his wife and the viral TikTok moment that sent the internet into a frenzy. I hope you enjoy this candid, wide-ranging conversation with one of modern cinema’s great showmen. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 02:28 Creativity as Self‑Medication 05:52 Why Elvis? 09:22 The Romeo + Juliet Fish Tank Origin Story 11:01 Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen: The Accidental Hit 13:56 Failure #1: Losing Instincts, Depression and Finding the Way Back 26:16 Casting Without Auditions: Baz’s Workshop Method 27:58 Creating a Fear-Free Room 28:47 The Big Break That Became a Public Flop 30:56 Rebounding with Strictly Ballroom 32:19 Choosing Collaborators 33:36 Marriage and Deep Trust 35:42 Criticism and Staying Humble (Plus the Viral TikTok Moment) 40:38 Future-Focused Filmmaking & Final Reflections 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I see my job as keeping fear out of the room. I take the fear on in the morning when I get up. I was embarrassed about being this geek from a small country town... I was ashamed that I liked people - and that just didn't seem cool enough. I always made my films for the future, not to be sort of hip in the moment... I want them to have a universality and I want them to move through time and space. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert is in cinemas now THAT TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@god_worthy/video/7374740069866884368?lang=en Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Stanley Tucci - On grief, cancer…and failing to swim swap.fm/l/WCW054IGNZnSnTzEXPTN Phoebe Waller-Bridge - On creative risk-taking, ambition and what happens after a cultural phenomenon like Fleabag swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Baz answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    50 min
  6. Elizabeth Day on How To Fail, Her New Book, and the BRAVO UNIVERSE!!! Plus, the return of Jax Taylor!

    FEB 18

    Elizabeth Day on How To Fail, Her New Book, and the BRAVO UNIVERSE!!! Plus, the return of Jax Taylor!

    WEDNESDAY! Folks, I'm so excited about this episode! I implore you to listen to this one. We have someone I am infinitely inspired by with us today! Our guest is ELIZABETH DAY (@elizabday)!! She is here to celebrate her new book ONE OF US which releases on the 24th! https://www.elizabethday.org/ We talk about the creative process, her chart topping podcast HOW TO FAIL and go deep into the Bravo universe. If you are in the NY or LA area she will be doing book signings starting this weekend! Go support so she'll come back on the pod!! Also, before that I talk about Jax Taylor's return and more! Thursday will be our Summer House recap! Plus, I just released a 1.5 hr recap on RHONY Season 2 and Rebecca and I did a mini episode about the baby shower! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/sobaditsgood⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To watch the episode you can subscribe to our youtube at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@SoBadItsGoodwithRyanBailey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!) Also, sign up for our substack FOR FREE at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://sobaditsgoodryanbailey.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Timestamps: :3-Show Notes/Scheana/Jax/Southern Charm/Summer House 17:00-Elizabeth Day OUR SPONSORS LUMI: Lumi Gummies are available nationwide! Go to ⁠⁠https://LumiGummies.com ⁠⁠ and use code SOBAD for 30% off your order.  OLIPOP: Get a free can of OLIPOP: Buy any 2 cans of Olipop in store, and we'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor, any retailer ⁠⁠https://drinkolipop.com/SOBAD⁠⁠ OLIPOP is sold online (⁠⁠drinkolipop.com ⁠⁠+ Amazon) and available in the soda aisle and with the chilled beverages at thousands of retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Target, Costco, and Whole Foods MeUndies: Make this Valentine's Day one to remember with matching underwear from MeUndies. To get exclusive deals up to 50% off, go to ⁠⁠https://MeUndies.com/sobad⁠⁠ and enter promo code sobad. This show and every show is dedicated to my beautiful mom Rebecca Ann Bailey-July 18th, 1948-August 25, 2023 If you’re enjoying the insane amount of blood, sweat and literal tears of this pod consider telling a friend or rating us 5 stars on iTunes! Special shoutout to Maritza Lopez (Insta: @maritza.gif) for all of her insanely hard work creating these beautiful pieces of art on my instagram and patreon page!!  Instagram: @sobaditsgoodwithryanbailey, @ryanbailey25 Twitter:@ryanabailey25 TIKTOK @sobaditsgoodwithryanb Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    1h 19m
  7. ON AMBITION… With Gillian Anderson and Munroe Bergdorf

    MAR 2

    ON AMBITION… With Gillian Anderson and Munroe Bergdorf

    Ambition can be a powerful force: it propels us forward, sharpens our focus and pushes us to dream bigger. But it can also whisper that we are only as good as our latest achievement - and these two brilliant former How to Fail guests explore what it really means to live a driven life. Gillian Anderson reflects on her lifelong drive to prove herself, the guilt she feels when stepping back from work and the tension between motherhood and a demanding career. Munroe Bergdorf shares how rejection and gatekeeping in fashion shaped her ambition. Once treated as a token gesture, she has become a leading voice for representation, speaking openly about resilience, self‑worth and creating space for others to follow. An episode about striving and self‑belief – and about whether ambition truly supports us, or whether we end up chasing it at our own expense. Listen to Gillian’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/7NyZMzkfVOpGyDtlB6k0 Listen to Munroe’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/tu153m3gHYreWBZSrcY1 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    12 min
  8. Jennette McCurdy on Reclaiming Her Voice

    FEB 18

    Jennette McCurdy on Reclaiming Her Voice

    This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, including anorexia and bulimia. Listener discretion advised. This might be one of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had on How To Fail. I don’t say that lightly - I’ve had some amazing guests - but there’s something about how Jennette puts the female experience into words that I find truly electrifying. Raised Mormon in Orange County, Jennette had a difficult, abusive childhood which she chronicled with unflinching honesty in her 2022 memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died - a book that spent more than 90 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. Her new novel, Half His Age, follows 17-year-old Waldo as she embarks on an affair with her 40-year-old creative writing teacher. It’s a startling, powerful story about discomfort, agency and self-determination and it became a Sunday Times Number One bestseller in its first week! In this episode, we talk about her upbringing, her experience of disordered eating, the writing process and the grounding partner she’s been with for nine years (who I was lucky enough to meet). Plus: setting boundaries, finding your voice, rage, recovery and autonomy. Recorded in our London studio. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:27 Speaking Up and Setting Boundaries 04:15 Reception of 'Half His Age' 07:22 Exploring Mormonism and Guilt 14:36 Failures and Creative Process 30:09 Calorie Restriction Lessons from My Mother 30:58 First Encounter with Anorexia 32:45 The Turning Point: Mother's Death and Recovery 32:58 Struggles with Bulimia 35:41 Therapy and the Road to Recovery 36:47 Understanding the Value of Eating Disorders 38:59 Healing Through Relationships 42:58 Finding My Voice and Inner Peace 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I think oftentimes a woman is perceived as difficult if the person around her can't meet her standards. It’s time that women start speaking up in any capacity - and not worrying about being 'too much'. There is nothing more powerful than a woman's intuition. I believe our bodies have inherent knowledge... denying our bodies is nothing but a disservice to a better life path for ourselves. If you feel resentment, it's time to set a boundary. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Jennette’s new book Half His Age is available to buy now Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Dolly Alderton – writing personal truth and navigating public scrutiny swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR Matt Haig – mental health and transforming suffering into storytelling swap.fm/l/amHeyBr7x2jg3Isw3JxG Jameela Jamil – body image, disordered eating and unlearning harmful conditioning swap.fm/l/D0j8oJQ52OwiJu6W3T4o 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Jennette (who is a naturally brilliant agony aunt) answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    57 min
  9. Jilly Cooper: On Failure, Love and Literature

    10/06/2025

    Jilly Cooper: On Failure, Love and Literature

    Today, we remember and celebrate the extraordinary life of Jilly Cooper, who has sadly passed away at the age of 88. A literary icon, Jilly captured hearts and imaginations with her wit, warmth, and unmistakable voice. Her novels, especially beloved titles like Riders and Rivals, sold over 11 million copies in the UK alone and most recently inspired the hit Disney+ adaptation that introduced her work to a whole new generation. I had the immense privilege of speaking with Jilly just last October. She was everything I’d hoped she would be - funny, sharp, generous and inspiring. Today, in tribute to her legacy and the joy she brought to so many, I’m honoured to share the conversation with you again. ___________________________________________________________________ Dame Jilly Cooper. What a legend. For the uninitiated (where have you been?) she’s a journalist and author most famous for her bestselling Rutshire Chronicle series which includes Riders, Polo and Rivals - the latter of which has now made into a hugely popular TV series starring David Tennant, Danny Dyer and Katherine Parkinson. In the past, Dame Jilly’s books have been unfairly dismissed as mere ‘bonkbusters’, charting the sex lives of the upper classes. But, as I discover, there’s much more to both her writing - and to her. We talk about her failures with technology, why she wishes she could throw more things away, as well as the terrifying time she lost an entire manuscript on the number 28 bus and had to rewrite it. Plus her experiences of interviewing Margaret Thatcher, her friendship with the Queen, her obsession with beautiful people and ‘macho men’ - and why she’d wholeheartedly recommend adoption to others. Thank you Dame Jilly. A total sport (but we knew that). ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Remembering Dame Gili Cooper 03:43 Personal Reflections and Literary Success 07:37 Exploring Themes of Masculinity and Beauty 10:15 Family, Loss, and Resilience 11:28 Failures and Fertility Challenges 21:18 Dieting and Body Image 25:12 Interviewing Margaret Thatcher 26:46 Technical Challenges and Writing Process 30:27 Friendship and Social Media 🔗 LINKS: Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    38 min
  10. ON SELF ACCEPTANCE... With Pamela Anderson and Rylan Clark

    FEB 23

    ON SELF ACCEPTANCE... With Pamela Anderson and Rylan Clark

    Welcome back to this How to Fail special where we revisit conversations from the archive to highlight particular themes and tap into the wisdom they contain. This week we look at two guests who have learned self acceptance: first, we hear from actress and global icon Pamela Anderson. She reflects on the toll that being in the public eye had on her body image and the long road to self-acceptance. Rylan Clark then takes us back to his childhood, where he opens up about growing up feeling different, navigating his sexuality and surviving bullying, which left him with a fractured skull. Rylan’s resilience is a reminder that truly owning who we are not only empowers us, but also shapes the individuals we are meant to become. I hope this episode provides understanding, solidarity and light to anyone who may be struggling or supporting someone they love. Listen to Pamela Anderson’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/zmy4u62s9lEvccugjBY6 Listen to Rylan Clark’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/GHulEMW6rrAc9o5qEv5O 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Self Esteem Guidance: www.supportline.org.uk/problems/self-esteem-and-self-confidence Mental Health Charity: www.mind.org.uk Elizabeth’s Substack: theelizabethday.substack.com Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    24 min
  11. Marisa Abela - ‘You never expect to be told you have cancer at 23’

    JAN 14

    Marisa Abela - ‘You never expect to be told you have cancer at 23’

    You’ll know Marisa Abela from HBO’s critically acclaimed hit Industry, where her portrayal of Yasmin - a brilliant, volatile young woman with ambition to burn, earned her a BAFTA. She also starred as Amy Winehouse in Sam Taylor-Johnson’s Back to Black and now returns for the hotly anticipated fourth season of Industry. In this conversation, Marisa spills the beans on her first audition for Industry, why her acting is inspired by The Real Housewives (yes, really) and what we can expect from the new season. We also reflect on her troubled teenage years - and how she was ‘a terror’ to live with, as well as her shock diagnosis with thyroid cancer at the age of 23. Through the subsequent intensive surgery and recovery process, Marisa learned the importance of women advocating for themselves and their own bodies in a culture where women’s health is often overlooked and under-researched. Still just 29, Marisa is remarkably self-aware and wise beyond her years. As an Industry superfan myself, I adored chatting to her and I hope you love the episode too. If you do, please rate, review and hit the follow button! ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:15 Drama School and Early Failures 04:23 Navigating Pressure 07:33 Teenage Struggles 27:13 Health Crisis in 2020 29:30 Diagnosis 30:30 Surgery and Recovery During the Pandemic 32:01 The Impact on Body Image 35:36 Advocating for Women's Health 38:45 Support and Love 40:32 Getting Married! 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: At a certain point, the regret of not doing a thing is worse than the fear of rejection. I really do believe that your body has a way of telling you that something's actually wrong and we should listen to it. All of the good things and all of the bad things are what make you, you - and without all of the bad things, I wouldn’t be who I am 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Industry airs on BBC One on 12 January and will be on iPlayer. In the US it airs on HBO on 11 January. Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Jessie Ware - reflects on motherhood, ambition and how losing control ultimately taught her to redefine success swap.fm/l/8cUuwGs4vc7tAXiPcDab Letitia Wright - on bullying, rejection and the power of faith on her journey from self-doubt to global success swap.fm/l/orHGF9VMU6s1FOH3bupc Ella Purnell - on growing up in the industry, perfectionism and anxiety. Plus: learning to let go of self-criticism in order to survive and thrive swap.fm/l/8w1oCcVmNutX8qv83MbN 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Marisa answer live audience questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    53 min
  12. Bella Freud - Learning To Trust Herself

    12/17/2025

    Bella Freud - Learning To Trust Herself

    Fashion icon Bella Freud on abandoning psychics, learning to trust herself and realising that what happens next is entirely up to her. Freud is a designer and creative whose clothes have adorned the likes of Zadie Smith, Kate Moss, Little Simz and…well…me. She’s also a cult podcaster with her hit show, Fashion Neurosis, where guests are invited to examine what clothes mean to them. She’s lived a fascinating life: the daughter of Lucian Freud, the great-granddaughter of psychoanalyst Sigmund and the sister of novelist Esther who wrote the novel Hideous Kinky about their childhood. Now in her 60s, she joins me to explore why she’s always late, why she regrets never joining the circus and what it’s really like carrying the weight of such an instantly recognisable family name. Plus: why she no longer goes to psychics. Bella is so smart, considered and stylish. This free-ranging conversation will make you think, laugh and feel unexpectedly hopeful about getting older. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 04:04 The Power of Fashion and Design 06:47 Challenges in the Fashion Industry 11:52 The Significance of Punctuality 17:02 Childhood Memories and Their Impact 22:18 Therapy and Family Loss 26:13 Reflecting on a Peaceful Passing 27:43 Family Dynamics 30:04 The Circus Job That Never Was 32:33 Sibling Relationships and Childhood Roles 36:06 The Legacy of the Freud Name 41:23 Embracing Failures and Life Lessons 46:28 Living Authentically and Joyfully 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: This whole thing about failure of course, is that you can fail and try again What's going happen is what I make happen, so get on with it The key is to stay and finish and then the whole level of reward is so much greater Being late is an incredibly aggressive thing to do 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: You can listen to Fashion Neurosis wherever you get your podcasts and it’s also available to watch on YouTube Bella’s photo is by Lynette Garland (2025) Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Bernardine Evaristo - the Booker Prize-winner talks about persistence, manifestation and making art on your own terms swap.fm/l/PszltDAfnTF5EpG0UmE7 Trinny Woodall - on the setbacks she’s faced in business, single parenthood and fertility swap.fm/l/fJVwewwLr5xEOE1zLroZ Edward Enninful - the former editor of British Vogue and an influential figure in fashion explores his journey through the industry. We talk about his challenges around diversity, identity and health swap.fm/l/NOAt5NDZeBTgX6qZUWpB 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Bella answer live audience questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    53 min
  13. Margaret Cho - They Told Me I Was Too Fat To Play Myself

    JAN 7

    Margaret Cho - They Told Me I Was Too Fat To Play Myself

    This episode contains description of addiction, eating disorders and discussion of suicide. Our guest today is the pioneering comedian, actor and activist Margaret Cho. She began performing comedy as a teenager, opening for Jerry Seinfeld at just 14, before becoming one of the most influential stand-ups of her generation. Now in her 50s, Margaret reflects in this episode on the cancellation of her groundbreaking sitcom, All-American Girl, and the surreal "miscalculations" of a network that hired consultants to ensure she was "doing Asian right". She speaks candidly about the "mind f***" of being told she was "too fat to play herself", which triggered a dangerous spiral into disordered eating, 90s diet drugs and eventual kidney failure. She opens up about a suicidal near-death experience that she was initially too afraid to admit even to herself - and about the intervention by friends that finally led her to sobriety. This conversation explores shame, rage and the life-saving importance of humour. Because, as Margaret says, sometimes laughter can be the thing that keeps you breathing. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 04:37 Childhood Reflections 06:59 Political and Social Commentary 10:43 The Sitcom Experience 18:35 Body Image and Health Struggles 26:13 Legacy and Influence 26:54 The Struggle with Diet Culture 28:34 Embarrassing Moments on Stage 32:10 Family Influence on Weight Issues 33:22 Seeking Help and Therapy 34:05 Childhood Abuse and Its Impact 37:27 Battling Drug and Alcohol Addiction 43:09 Intervention and Recovery 46:51 Finding Hope and Happiness 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: You carry the otherness with you as a kind of residual suffering that's still there. Shame is such an electric emotion. It really ignites your history and gets to the core of who you are. I think that's vital as an artist and also it improves your art if you can somehow rise above it. Humour is really hope. Humour and laughter is the intake of breath, which is the preservation of the body for the next moment. The more deep work that you do, the more pain you've endured, the more you can share with the world. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch. Margaret Cho’s Choligarchy Comedy Tour Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Monica Lewinsky - on public shame, misogyny and learning how to reclaim your story after being defined by one moment swap.fm/l/jD3LnWFLZq4jRqSX1yQ9 Lily Allen - on addiction, recovery and rebuilding self-worth under intense public scrutiny https://link.chtbl.com/7f_TpEQ6 Phoebe Waller-Bridge - on Fleabag, creativity and learning to trust your own voice https://link.chtbl.com/Vmnz_IXz 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Margaret answer live audience questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Joanna Clay Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    55 min
  14. Martin Freeman - ‘We should be saying no to our kids’

    JAN 21

    Martin Freeman - ‘We should be saying no to our kids’

    Martin Freeman is one of the most sought-after actors of his generation. Whether it’s Tim in The Office, John - the mild-mannered porn actor in Love Actually, Watson in Sherlock, Bilbo in The Hobbit, the stressed parent in Breeders, the Liverpudlian cop with personal problems in The Responder and Everett K. Ross in Marvel Cinematic Universe smash hits Captain America and Black Panther - Freeman is a star, and to date has won two Emmys and a BAFTA. In this episode, Martin reflects on his childhood as the youngest of five (comparatively modest when you consider his mother was one of fourteen!) as well as the lasting impact of losing his father at ten years old. We talk about parenting, the people who’ve inspired him (hello, Michael Caine), the future of AI from a technophobe’s perspective, his unease with fame and the quieter failures that sit behind public success. Plus: strap yourself in for much hilarity. I don’t think I can remember a guest who made me laugh QUITE this much. Martin can next be seen as the determined Superintendent Battle in Netflix’s new Agatha Christie adaptation, Seven Dials. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 02:22 Dealing with Fame and Anxiety 05:12 The Everyman Label 07:35 Exploring Anger and Authenticity 16:28 Academic Struggles and Early Acting 20:33 Personal Reflections and Family 28:08 Comparing to Heroes 32:15 The Office and Sherlock 40:29 Technology Struggles 44:20 AI Concerns 47:47 Meeting Michael Caine 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: You should say no to your kids. You should let them know that life's gonna kick 'em in the ass... that is a manifestation of love for me. There is a great deal of value in making a child bored... How else are you going to paint, or make up a story or learn a trade or learn a skill if you are literally mouth agape looking at a f***ing screen? The people who say it [success] doesn't solve your problems are obviously right... But love is a good start to it - it does more than anything else. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Seven Dials is available to watch now on Netflix. Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Stephen Merchant - on feeling like an outsider, learning to live with rejection and being banned from High And Mighty. swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2 Adeel Akhtar - the actor’s actor on the humbling impact of parenthood, cultural expectations and learning to let go of ego in order to grow swap.fm/l/eWxKBXUJZAAkfovquzwi 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Martin answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    54 min
  15. Stephen Grosz - ‘Real love is going to hurt’

    10/08/2025

    Stephen Grosz - ‘Real love is going to hurt’

    Warning: this episode may contain MIND-BLOWING moments. Stephen Grosz is a practising psychoanalyst and a personal hero of mine. He has worked with patients for more than 45 years and his first book, The Examined Life, drew on these experiences. When it was published in 2013, it caused a sensation and went straight to number one in the Sunday Times bestseller list. Since then, hundreds of thousands of readers, including me, have taken it to our hearts. Now 12 years on from his debut, Grosz is back with Love's Labour, which asks fundamental questions around how to love and be loved in return, drawing on his almost half a century of clinical expertise. In this episode we discuss why real love causes suffering, why failed marriages are often the best kind, the difference between surrender and submission in relationships, why loss has to be part of being human and how we can be happy. Plus: a fascinating peek into what it’s like to be a psychoanalyst when I get to ask ‘are you ever annoyed by your clients?’ ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 02:28 Understanding Attachment to Suffering 04:25 The Role of Denial in Our Lives 06:32 Failures and Self-Perception 07:23 Stephen's Childhood 21:46 The Power of Unconscious Signals 25:24 Navigating Change and Loss 26:25 The Anxiety of Letting Go 28:22 The Price of Love 29:23 Writing from the Heart 30:16 Support Systems 32:27 Family Dynamics and Psychoanalysis 36:51 Surrender vs. Submission 45:25 Understanding Pain and Grief 48:25 Final Thoughts and Farewell 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: The aim of life is to see oneself clearly, and the world clearly. Psychoanalysis is two people not knowing - together. We have to figure it out together, and that means both of us will make mistakes and I will get it wrong. These failures brought me embarrassment, unhappiness, and pain. I wouldn't wish them away. Real love is going to hurt 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Stephen’s new book - Loves Labour: www.stephengrosz.com Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 📚 WANT MORE? Dr Nicole LePera - The Holistic Psychologist sheds light on life’s struggles: https://link.chtbl.com/Tlf5L5Jb Emma Reed Turrell - the psychotherapist and author joins Elizabeth to discuss people-pleasing and the art of setting boundaries: https://link.chtbl.com/zthtQyEm Alain de Botton - the famed philosopher on how to love and be loved: https://link.chtbl.com/RBaS4VUy 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Elizabeth and Stephen answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Sound Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Carly Maile How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    52 min
  16. ON FINDING LOVE AT ANY AGE… With Luke Evans and Dolly Alderton

    FEB 9

    ON FINDING LOVE AT ANY AGE… With Luke Evans and Dolly Alderton

    We’re taught that love should happen early, and if it doesn’t, something’s gone wrong. But what if that’s not true? In this episode, we hear from past How to Fail guests who found love later, or in their own time. Luke Evans reflects on meeting his soulmate in his forties and Dolly Alderton talks about heartbreak, celibacy to reassess the role of sex and romance in her life and learning that sitting with uncertainty can be the bravest choice. I met my husband in my late thirties and I've found that trusting your own timing is often what leads to real love. I hope this is helpful for those unsure of what’s next. Listen to Luke Evan’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/2AAJhVeDNGdKIJGdznR9 Listen to Dolly Alderton’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Elizabeth’s Substack: theelizabethday.substack.com Join the How To Fail community: howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    28 min
  17. Pamela Anderson - ‘It wasn’t about being pretty, it was about being brave’

    07/07/2025

    Pamela Anderson - ‘It wasn’t about being pretty, it was about being brave’

    I can’t believe I get to say this but…PAMELA ANDERSON! ON HOW TO FAIL! The one and only!  A woman I grew up watching on TV, Pamela was an icon of a generation…But the second act of her career has been the most powerful and Anderson joins me for a  vulnerable chat about her long journey of embracing beauty on her own terms, understand her self-worth, embracing self-acceptance and how it was never about being pretty for her - it was always about being brave.    Together, we unpack the beauty ideals of early 2000s that continue to shape how women view themselves today. Backed by Dove’s Self Esteem Project body confidence science and exercises, this episode dives deep into Pamela reflecting on being the poster girl of an era and shares how she’s reclaimed her image, her narrative and what beauty means to her.  ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 02:08 Second Act and Self-Discovery 06:01 Embracing Natural Beauty and Challenging Norms 13:11 Reflections on Beauty and Self-Worth 18:41 Journey to Self-Acceptance 23:16 Relationship with Her Parents and Personal Growth 27:54 The Early Days of Styling 28:35 Creating Iconic Looks 29:10 Rockstar Wife Persona 32:05 Impact of Y2K and Social Media 33:07 Body Image and Self-Acceptance 35:36 The Dove Self-Esteem Project 38:54 Embracing Natural Beauty 42:01 Reflections on Fame and Identity   Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com    If you want more support, Dove has created a journal designed to help you reflect, reset, and take control of how you engage with beauty and your body. You can find it at dove.com/why2k. Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan   Mix Engineer: Matias Torres Studio Engineer: Gulliver Tickell Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Carly Maile How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    53 min
  18. Failure Throwback: Bear Grylls

    12/31/2025

    Failure Throwback: Bear Grylls

    Bear Grylls has achieved worldwide fame as one of the most recognised faces of survival and outdoor adventure. A former SAS soldier, he has climbed Everest, circumnavigated the British Isles on a jet ski, rowed naked in a bathtub along the Thames and once broke his back in a parachuting accident. But he's most famous for his TV career. He starred in seven seasons of the Discovery Channel’s Emmy Award-nominated Man vs. Wild TV series and hosted Running Wild, which has featured Bear taking President Obama, Julia Roberts, Roger Federer, Will Ferrell, Channing Tatum, and Kate Winslet on extreme adventures. Bear is thoughtful, open and surprisingly gentle. This conversation will make you reflect on resilience, bravery and what it really means to keep moving forward when things fall apart. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:00 Living with nerves and self-doubt 07:12 Public success versus private fear 13:45 Losing his father and learning to live with grief 18:10 Breaking his back and rebuilding confidence 23:40 Faith, inner voices and self-belief 29:05 Courage, fear and moving towards the difficult things 35:20 Failing SAS selection and earning confidence 41:00 TV failure, risk and starting again 46:40 Why giving up is the only real failure 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: The only real failure is when we give up. You can't be a brave person without the fear... just not having fear and doing it mindlessly is- that's just stupidity. That's not courage. Those failures are the stepping stones. They’re the scars I’m proud of. The truth is we tend to stand on the shoulders of many. Beautiful people and giants who've helped us and been kind to us and encouraged us, and supported us and elevated us over themselves. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Never Give Up by Bear Grylls Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join Elizabeth Day for a special How to Fail live show at Crossed Wires Festival in Sheffield! Tickets on sale now: https://crossedwires.live/podcast/how-to-fail 📚 WANT MORE? Mo Gawdat - on grief, resilience and rebuilding life after loss https://link.chtbl.com/fnA5IzTi Tom Daley - the Olympic diver talks about pressure, fear and public failure, alongside the discipline and mental strength it takes to keep showing up at the highest level. https://play.megaphone.fm/deiztbmwsrw-vz5by9ajtw Matt Haig - the bestselling author on mental health, survival and learning to keep going through periods of despair, anxiety and self-doubt https://link.chtbl.com/u2XVtjE7 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    58 min
  19. Mo Gilligan - Fatherhood Is A Gift I Didn’t Know I Needed

    FEB 11

    Mo Gilligan - Fatherhood Is A Gift I Didn’t Know I Needed

    Mo Gilligan started out working in retail (think Jo Malone and Levi’s) but quit in 2018 when his online comedy videos went viral. The leap paid off - sell-out tours across the UK, a late-night entertainment show on Channel 4 and his own breakout format The Lateish Show with Mo Gilligan, which earned him the first of three BAFTA wins. Netflix specials, world tours, primetime TV and a podcast soon followed. Now in 2026, Gilligan is launching the biggest year of his career to date with a global tour, a major new partnership with Netflix and a feature documentary which will offer a glimpse behind the scenes of the 37-year-old at the top of his game. In this episode, Mo opens up about being a dad to his six-month-old daughter and two-year-old son, the pressure of representing the Black British community in stand-up and the debt that shadowed him for years. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:51 Retail Experience and Its Influence 06:11 Audience Interaction and Respect 09:13 School Struggles and Dyslexia 18:14 Family, Fatherhood and Financial Lessons 25:19 The Standup Struggle 26:37 Credit Card Chaos 31:12 The Viral Breakthrough 33:35 Touring Triumphs and Tribulations 36:04 Code Switching and Representation 39:43 Handling Success and Praise 45:51 Family and Future Plans 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I really wanna make people feel cool. I think it’s the nicest feeling ever. Knowing that I am my children’s universe... That is such a gift that I didn’t know I needed to have. I find it hard to listen to praise about myself. I find it very, very hard... I'm always trying to move on to the next one. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Get Mo’s tour tickets here: mogilligan.com/mo-live Mo’s new Netflix show is available to watch now: Mo Gilligan - In the Moment Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ 📚 WANT MORE? Ashley Walters - on growing up fast, struggling with self-destruction and how accountability, therapy and fatherhood helped him rebuild his life and career. Fun fact: Ashley and Mo both went to the same school and had the same inspirational drama teacher! swap.fm/l/ksDRiLDV1iOXHRTTsdJ5 Miranda Hart - on public embarrassment, private anxiety and chronic illness. Plus: how learning to accept herself became her greatest success swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu Fern Brady - another stand-up who has experienced the precariousness of the industry and battled debt early in her working life swap.fm/l/cmeompBv7EHK20enmwbS 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Mo answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    52 min
  20. Mo Gawdat

    04/24/2019

    Mo Gawdat

    Just occasionally in life, you meet someone who changes your way of thinking about the world. The shift might be subtle or it might be seismic, but afterwards, you are never quite the same again.This is what happened to me when my path crossed with that of Mo Gawdat who spoke to me about what it is to live a contented life in a way that had an immediate and practical impact on my outlook. Gawdat is the former chief business officer at Google X (Google's so-called 'moonshot factory' responsible for off-the-wall ideas such as self-driving cars and a balloon-powered internet) but for a long time in his life, despite having professional, personal and material success, he realised he wasn't happy. So he set about solving this problem by applying his scientific research skills to the issue: how can one individual be happy?After 12 years, he developed an algorithm for happiness, eventually arriving at an equation which states simply that happiness is greater than, or equal to, your perception of the events in your life minus your expectation of how life should be. He even wrote a book about it, Solve For Happy, which became an international bestseller.Gawdat joins me to talk about how that algorithm was put to the ultimate test when his beloved 21-year-old son Ali died in tragic circumstances. We talk about how to survive depression and grief; how happiness is like fitness; how to cope with break-ups; why social media is driving us further apart and what to do about it; why life is like a computer game; the illusion of time and why we should always, always be polite to Siri.This episode is slightly longer than normal just because I didn't want to cut any of it. I hope you take as much from Mo's words as I have. Solve For Happy: Engineer Your Path To Joy by Mo Gawdat is available to order here.How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted by Elizabeth Day, recorded by Chris Sharp and sponsored by 4th Estate BooksThe Sunday Times Top 5 bestselling book of the podcast, How To Fail: Everything I've Ever Learned From Things Going Wrong by Elizabeth Day, is out nowand is available to pre-order here.*IMPORTANT NEWS KLAXON* I’m doing a live How To Fail With Elizabeth Day event on 5th May at The Bridge Theatre in London with ZAWE ASHTON (who is amazing). There are still some tickets available here.   Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayChris Sharp @chrissharpaudio4th Estate Books @4thEstateBooks    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    1h 1m
Elizabeth Day on Apple