Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it frees the future. 「原諒不能改變過去，但能讓未來自由。」 1 Growing up, this memory was undeniably the most painful chapter of my life, and it deeply shaped the person I am today. 在我成長的過程中，這段記憶無疑是最痛苦的，也深深塑造了今日的我。 ⸻ 2 In junior high, I was an outstanding student, almost always ranking first in the entire school. Yet, I didn’t get into my dream school—Kaohsiung Girls’ Senior High. I eventually chose Fengshan High School and passed the exam to enter the gifted English program. 國中時，我的成績優異，幾乎總是全校第一。然而，我卻未能如願考上第一志願——高雄女中。最終，我選擇了鳳山高中，並通過考試進入英語資優班。 ⸻ 3 Those days were wonderful. Each of my classmates had their own unique personality, and the cheerful atmosphere helped me open up in ways I rarely had before. I finally had more time to study the English I loved, and we had a humorous, open-minded homeroom teacher—Gilian. 那段日子是如此美好，班上的同學各具特色，樂觀開朗的氛圍也讓我開始展現自己較少流露的一面。我能花更多時間學習最熱愛的英語，還有一位幽默開明的班導師——Lilian。 ⸻ 4 She cared deeply for us. She even invited the whole class to her wedding and organized a trip from Kaohsiung to Taipei to visit universities—an experience that broadened my world. 她不僅用心指導我們，還帶全班參加她的婚禮，甚至組織我們從高雄到台北的大學參觀，開拓視野。 ⸻ 5 In that class, I became inseparable friends with Jenny. She was lively and outgoing—the center of attention—while I was more introverted, yet I tried my best to be close to her, learning confidence through her. 在這個班級裡，我和佳欣成了無話不談的好友。她個性活潑開朗，是班上的焦點人物，而我則較為內向，但仍努力靠近她，試著學習她的自信與魅力。 ⸻ 6 Through her, I met Zack, the class president next door. Tall and delicate-looking, he stood out instantly—and he was the boy Jia-Xin had a crush on. 也因為她，我認識了隔壁班的班長——宇哲。他高挑清秀，第一眼就能吸引目光，也是佳欣暗戀的對象。 ⸻ 7 As time passed, I came to learn about his life. His mother had passed away when he was young, leaving his father to raise him and his sister alone. 隨著相處時間增長，我也逐漸了解了宇哲的故事。他的母親在他小時候便過世了，父親獨自撫養他和妹妹。 ⸻ 8 Despite his hardships, he remained disciplined and hardworking, always ranking near the top. I admired him deeply, and we gradually became friends who shared everything. 儘管如此，他仍然自律勤奮，成績名列前茅，從未讓家人擔心。我對這樣堅強的他充滿敬佩，也漸漸與他成了無話不談的朋友。 ⸻ 9 Coincidentally, our birthdays were only eleven days apart. On his birthday, Jenny and I celebrated with him. For mine, I didn’t expect much, yet he still gave me a gift—a baseball cap, unwrapped, placed on the floor outside my classroom. 巧合的是，我們的生日同在同一個月份，僅相差11天。宇哲生日那天，我和佳欣特地為他慶祝。而當我的生日到來時，他給了我一頂沒有包裝、放在教室門口地上的棒球帽。 ⸻ 10 I didn’t think much of it at the time—boys weren’t always thoughtful. But a few days later, he posted an article on the school’s online forum, calling me “vain,” even claiming that no one in class liked me. 當時我不以為意，心想男孩總是不如女孩細心，卻沒想到，幾天後，他竟在學校的電子論壇上發文，指名道姓地說我「愛慕虛榮」，還寫道班上的同學都不喜歡我。 ⸻ 11 As my eyes moved across those cold, merciless words, my heartbeat grew heavy. I couldn’t believe that in the eyes of someone I trusted, I had become that kind of person. 當我滑動滑鼠，視線落在那些冰冷而殘忍的字眼上，心跳逐漸加快。我無法相信，在我所重視的同學眼中，我竟成了這樣的人。 ⸻ 12 The hurt and humiliation swallowed me whole. 那一刻，委屈與羞辱交織，將我吞沒。 ⸻ 13 I spiraled into self-doubt. Every day after school, I would hide in the bathroom and cry under the sound of running water. 從那天起，我陷入深深的自我懷疑，每天鬱鬱寡歡。回家後，我的固定行程變成了躲進浴室，在水流的掩護下哭泣。 ⸻ 14 This lasted until one day, our teacher said in class, “If anyone feels uncomfortable here, you may apply to transfer.” 這樣的日子持續了許久，直到某天，Lilian老師在課堂上說：「如果有同學覺得不適應，可以申請轉班。」 ⸻ 15 It was like seeing an escape route from my pain. 那一刻，我彷彿看見了逃離痛苦的出口。 ⸻ 16 I immediately called my father. I expected him to question me or persuade me to stay, but he simply said, “As long as you’re happy.” 下課後，我立刻撥電話給爸爸，本以為他會細問原因或勸我留下，然而他只是平靜地說：「只要妳開心就好。」 ⸻ 17 The next day, I submitted the transfer form, closing that chapter of darkness. 隔天，我便遞交了轉班申請，正式為這段陰影畫上句點。 ⸻ 18 This was not the first time I had experienced social hurt growing up. I was ignored by friends in elementary school, again in junior high—psychological wounds I didn’t recognize as “bullying” until later.
