Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More That Builds Emotional Regulation

Dr. Roseann Capanna Hodge
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Parenting comes with joys and challenges. If you are a mom or dad with a child or teen who is struggling with everyday life or clinical issues like ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Executive Functioning, Anxiety, OCD, Depression or Mood, or Lyme and PANS/PANDAS, then you need solutions. If you have seen Dr. Roseann on TV, then you know she doesn’t shy away from real talk about real problems. She gives parents the science-backed keys to unlocking big and small kid and family issues. Blending hope with science, Dr. Roseann teaches parents how to calm the brain to have a happy family. https://drroseann.com

  1. 342: The Hidden Truth About Modern Parenting (It’s Not Just You)

    -15 Ч

    342: The Hidden Truth About Modern Parenting (It’s Not Just You)

    Parenting feels harder than ever, and I want you to know—you’re not imagining it. As a mom and as someone who works with so many parents every day, I see how the mental load of modern parenting leaves us feeling exhausted, guilty, and overwhelmed. It’s not bad parenting—it’s our dysregulated brains trying to manage family life in an overstimulating world. In this episode, I’m unpacking why parenting feels so hard right now and what’s really driving the stress so many of us carry. From screen time to isolation to the unrealistic standards placed on mothers and fathers today, I’ll show you how these hidden stressors impact both you and your child. Most importantly, I’ll share simple, calming strategies to reset your nervous system so you can parent with more patience, joy, and confidence. Why does parenting feel so hard right now? I hear this question from so many parents, and the truth is, modern parenting carries a mental load that previous generations didn’t face. You’re not failing—it’s the world we’re raising kids in today. Here’s why parenting feels so heavy: Double-edged sword of screens: Helpful for quiet moments, but dysregulating for both adults and kids.Isolation from community: Unlike a generation ago, many parents don’t have neighbors, friends, or family to lean on.Unrealistic standards: Contradictory advice, social media pressure, and guilt about not doing “enough.”Sandwich generation stress: Working parents juggling their own children, younger siblings, and even aging parents. Parenting today can feel like a full-time job without a break. And when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, it’s harder to stay patient, present, and consistent. Why do I lose my patience with my child so quickly? When raising children today, it’s no wonder your nervous system slips into survival mode. Even the most loving parent can snap—it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your brain is overwhelmed. Here’s what happens inside your brain: Stress hormones flood your system with cortisol and adrenaline.Executive functioning shuts down, so calm responses feel impossible.Your child’s dysregulation mirrors back, and their meltdown triggers yours. The truth? A dysregulated brain can’t parent a dysregulated child. Whether you’re navigating small children, a baby, or even young adults, the reason parenting feels so exhausting often comes back to your nervous system. Giving yourself moments of quality time and noticing when you’re feeling overwhelmed is the first step to calm—for you and your child. 🗣️ “The key is pressing pause—step back, breathe, and reset before you respond. That’s how you break the cycle and bring more calm into family life.” – Dr. Roseann What can I do when I feel completely overwhelmed as a parent? Parenting is hard, and most parents hit moments where the stress feels immobilizing. You’re not failing—you just need to calm your own nervous system first. Try these small resets when raising kids feels too heavy: Breathe intentionally: Use 4-7-8 breaths to steady your body.Shift your posture: Stand, stretch, or simply step away.Get into nature: Even a quick walk can soothe your stress.Use simple techniques: humming, tapping, or cold water on your neck.Pause before responding: Don’t go in hot. One moment of calm can change the whole direction of family life. Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button? Become an...

    11 мин.
  2. 341: Is Your Child's Nervous System is Stuck in Fight-Flight-or-Freeze?

    -5 ДН.

    341: Is Your Child's Nervous System is Stuck in Fight-Flight-or-Freeze?

    When your child’s nervous system is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, even minor frustrations can trigger explosive outbursts, shutdowns, or runaway behavior. It isn’t disobedience—it’s the autonomic nervous system in survival mode. Let us unpack why kids get trapped in these stress responses and how calming the brain first restores safety, regulation, and connection. Why does my child melt down after minor frustrations? When your child yells, slams doors, or shuts down over something small, it’s not misbehavior—it’s a stress response. Their sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive, pumping out stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Signs your child’s nervous system is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze: Frequent emotional meltdowns and explosive outburstsOverreaction to minor frustrations with big emotionsNeeds 20–30 minutes (or more) to return to calmMood changes, poor focus, and low energy that linger afterward Behavior is communication. What looks like defiance is really your child’s nervous system waving a red flag for help. What does fight, flight, freeze, or fawn look like in kids? Kids react to stress in different ways, but all of these behaviors come from the same alarm system in the nervous system. Fight: yelling, arguing, aggression, lashing outFlight response: running away, hiding, avoiding tasksFreeze response: zoning out, poor concentration, blank stares, silenceFawn: perfectionism, hypervigilance, people-pleasing (often missed) These are autonomic survival responses—not bad choices. 🗣️ “When your child’s body feels threatened, the nervous system takes over.” – Dr. Roseann Why is my child’s nervous system stuck in survival mode? Today’s kids face a perfect storm of stressors that disrupt the autonomic nervous system and keep the body stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. Common triggers include: Chronic stress at school or homeFamily tension or sibling conflictSensory overload from screens, noise, or crowdsMental health conditions and neurodivergent wiringPoor sleep patterns or lack of optimal nutritionPhysical hurdles like abdominal pain, onset headaches, or body aches When stress hormones keep firing, the parasympathetic nervous system (the body’s relaxation response) can’t kick in. Over time, this shows up as: Heightened baseline anxiety and panic responsesConcentration troubles, poor focus, and low energyFrequent illnesses, decreased immunity, and persistent fatigueOther chronic health challenges like disrupted sleep or mood swings A child’s nervous system stuck in survival mode is more vulnerable to behavioral challenges and chronic health conditions. The missing link is daily regulation that restores safety and calm. When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless. The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today. How can I help my...

    9 мин.
  3. 340: 3 Things to Do in the First 60 Seconds of Any Child Meltdown

    22 СЕНТ.

    340: 3 Things to Do in the First 60 Seconds of Any Child Meltdown

    When your child’s emotions spiral into a meltdown, it can feel like everything in family life stops. The crying, yelling, or tantrum behavior takes over—and no amount of reasoning or sticker charts seems to help. You’re not alone. The truth is, those first 60 seconds of any child meltdown make a huge difference. Whether it’s toddler tantrums at nap time, an upset older child after school, or an autistic child overwhelmed by sensory overload, how you respond sets the tone. In this episode, I share three science-backed steps to help you stay calm, reduce power struggles, and guide your child back to calm behavior. Why does my child’s meltdown get worse when I try to talk them down? When your child is having an emotional meltdown, it’s natural to jump in with explanations, logic, or questions like “Why are you acting this way?” But here’s the important point: over-talking adds fuel to the fire. Say less. Too many words overwhelm an upset child.Use a calm voice. A simple phrase like “I’m here. You’re safe.” can be incredibly helpful.Silence is powerful. Sometimes a quiet spot and nonverbal reassurance calm behavior faster than talking. It makes sense—when your brain is in survival mode, logic can’t land. A child’s tantrums are communication, not misbehavior. What should I do first when my child is melting down? When your child is in the middle of an emotional meltdown, it’s instinct to explain, reason, or ask “Why are you acting this way?” But here’s the important point: over-talking makes tantrum behavior worse. Say less. Too many words overwhelm an upset child’s emotions.Use a calm voice. A short phrase like “I’m here. You’re safe.” helps your child calm faster.Silence works. Sometimes a quiet spot and steady body language soothe toddler tantrums, an older child’s strong emotions, or even an autistic child facing sensory overload. When the brain is in survival mode, logic can’t land. Behavior is communication—not misbehavior. How can I comfort my child without making things worse? You can’t force emotional regulation—but you can model it.  Co-regulation is how kids learn coping skills and positive behavior. Offer presence, not pressure. Sit nearby without hovering or demanding.Mind your body language. Get down on your child’s level—kneel with younger kids or sit near an older child.Use gentle gestures. If it feels safe, a light touch on the back or shoulder can help an upset child calm. Think of it as creating a safe space where your child—whether a toddler in a tantrum, an older child with big emotions, or an autistic child in sensory overload—can borrow your calm until they find their own self-control. Yelling less and staying calm isn’t about being perfect—it’s about having the right tools. Join the Dysregulation Insider VIP list and get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit, designed to help you handle oppositional behaviors without losing it. Download it now at www.drroseann.com/newsletter Why does this approach work for both younger kids and older kids? These steps aren’t random tips—they’re grounded in child development and neuroscience. Polyvagal theory shows that calm cues shift the brain out of fight-or-flight.Mirror neurons explain why kids copy...

    9 мин.
  4. 339: Child Behavior Problems of Struggling Kids: Early Warning Signs Parents Miss (Crisis Prevention)

    17 СЕНТ.

    339: Child Behavior Problems of Struggling Kids: Early Warning Signs Parents Miss (Crisis Prevention)

    Parenting a child who melts down, shuts down, or pushes you away is exhausting—I know because I hear it from parents every day. You’ve tried sticker charts, consequences, rewards, and still your child’s behavior problems keep coming back.  In this episode, I’m sharing why waiting for your child’s struggles to get “bad enough” is a dangerous mistake. You’ll learn how to spot the early warning signs of child behavior problems, why early intervention matters, and the practical steps you can take right now to calm your child’s brain and strengthen your parent-child relationship. Why do professionals tell me to “wait and see” with my child’s behavior problems? I hear this all the time from parents—someone told them their child would “grow out of it.” But waiting often delays the help your child really needs. “Wait and see” is outdated advice. It often comes from well-meaning pediatricians, teachers, or family members.Delays lead to missed diagnoses like autism spectrum disorders, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).Early intervention is never wasted. Parents regret waiting, not acting.Behavior is communication. When your child struggles, it’s their nervous system asking for support. It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. Let’s calm the brain first. What happens if I wait until my child’s behavior collapses? When parents wait for rock bottom, the fallout touches every part of a child’s life—and the road back is much harder. Deeper dysregulation: Issues like aggression, anxiety, or school refusal grow more intense and harder to untangle.Increased risk factors: Delays raise the chances of substance abuse, low self-esteem, and long-term mental health struggles.Damaged relationships: Waiting strains the parent-child relationship and can create tension between family members.Shame builds: Children begin to believe “something is wrong with me,” which deepens behavior problems and lowers self-esteem. 🗣️ “The earlier we step in, the easier it is to calm the brain, protect your child’s self-esteem, and rebuild family trust.” – Dr. Roseann Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button? Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in. Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today. What does early intervention actually look like? Many parents wonder if they should wait until their child is calm before starting therapy or brain-based tools. The answer is no—you can start today. Brain-based supports work right away: Tools like neurofeedback, PEMF, and magnesium help regulate even the most dysregulated kids.Therapy is more effective when kids are regulated: Once the nervous system calms, communication skills, problem solving skills, and coping skills designed for young children actually stick.Collaboration matters: Schools, therapists, and family members can help, but parents are the drivers of change.Progress over perfection: Every small step counts. Calm brains aren’t born—they’re built. Early intervention gives your child the tools to regulate, learn, and thrive—long before behavior problems become harder to untangle. How can parents overcome the fear of labeling...

    14 мин.
  5. 338: 5 Therapist Sensory Tools That Actually Help Kids Regulate (That Every Parent Can Do)

    15 СЕНТ.

    338: 5 Therapist Sensory Tools That Actually Help Kids Regulate (That Every Parent Can Do)

    Parenting a child with sensory challenges can feel like a guessing game. One day a fidget toy works, the next day it’s tossed across the room. That’s because it’s not about the object—it’s about the strategy behind it. Sensory tools aren’t quick fixes, but when chosen with intention, they can transform how your child responds to stress, transitions, and everyday demands. In this episode, I’ll share 5 therapist-recommended sensory tools that actually help kids regulate—not just distract them. You’ll learn how to match tools to your child’s sensory needs, whether they’re bouncing off the walls or shutting down from overload. With the right sensory input, kids can build body awareness, reduce anxiety, and settle into calmer routines at home, in the classroom, and even at bedtime. Why does my child melt down even when I give them fidget toys? You’ve filled the bins with fidget toys and sensory tools, but the meltdowns keep coming. You’re not alone. The truth is, fidgets can distract, but they don’t always provide the sensory input a child’s nervous system really needs. Here’s what to remember: Fidgets don’t work for every child—some kids need deep pressure to calm, others need movement or vestibular input to focus.Look for signs of sensory seekers and avoiders: crashing into couch cushions, covering ears at loud noises, refusing certain textures, or zoning out in busy places.Behavior is communication. A meltdown is your child’s nervous system saying, “I can’t handle this input.”The right sensory tool matters. Matching tools to your child’s unique sensory processing needs is what leads to real regulation. 🗣️ “It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. When we learn how our child responds to sensory experiences, the right tools finally make sense.” – Dr. Roseann Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button? Become an Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in. Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today. What sensory tools actually calm my child’s nervous system? Not all sensory toys are created equal. The right tools give the sensory input your child’s nervous system needs—whether that’s calming an over-aroused brain or waking up an under-aroused one. Here are 5 therapist-recommended sensory tools that actually help kids regulate: Weighted items (blankets, vests, stuffed animals): Provide deep pressure that has a calming effect. Best used in short bursts of about 20 minutes to support better sleep and reduce anxiety.Movement tools (swings, trampolines, yoga ball, peanut ball): Give vestibular input and help kids reset their focus. Just a few minutes of movement before homework or classroom transitions can make a big difference.Oral input tools (chewy straws, crunchy snacks): Calm the nervous system through jaw stimulation. Great for picky eaters, children with ADHD, and kids who need extra input to stay focused.Fidgets with tactile features (putty, clickers, stress balls): Provide tactile stimulation that supports self-regulation during seated tasks or transitions.Visual and auditory tools (lava lamps, calming music, noise-canceling headphones): Reduce overstimulation and create a calming effect at home, in classrooms, or during therapy...

    11 мин.
  6. Special Episode: The MAHA Report Reveals Shocking Truths About Kids’ Mental Health

    11 СЕНТ.

    Special Episode: The MAHA Report Reveals Shocking Truths About Kids’ Mental Health

    Parenting today feels overwhelming—and it’s not your imagination. The latest Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) Report reveals shocking truths about kids’ mental health and shows us just how deep this childhood chronic disease crisis runs. Our children are carrying the weight of poor diet, chronic stress, environmental exposures, and endless screen time—and it’s affecting not just their moods but their overall health. As parents, it’s easy to wonder, “Is this just my child?” or “Am I doing something wrong?” Let me reassure you—it’s not bad parenting, it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, I’ll walk you through what the report means for American children’s health and, most importantly, share practical steps you can take to calm the brain first, build resilience, and protect your child in today’s overstimulating world. Why are so many American children struggling with mental health? Parents are searching for answers because the numbers in the Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) Report are staggering: Teen depression has doubled in recent years.Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for teens, rising 62% since 2007.Loneliness is at epidemic levels—73% of young adults report feeling isolated.Neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD and autism continue to rise at alarming rates. These aren’t just statistics from a government assessment. They represent the nation’s health and, more importantly, our kids. The MAHA Commission—led by Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—noted that the potential drivers of this crisis include ultra processed foods, poor physical activity, environmental chemicals, and chronic stress. This isn’t just a public health concern—it’s a matter of national security when so many American children of the same age are struggling with preventable mental and physical health conditions. The Human Services Department and National Institutes call this the biggest children’s health crisis in modern U.S. history. Key Takeaways: It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. Behavior is communication, and we need to calm the brain first.Environmental chemicals, ultraprocessed foods, and chronic stress are fueling this crisis in American children’s health.Over-reliance on medicine and medication isn’t fixing outcomes. The root causes—nutrition, stress, sleep, environmental exposures, and screen time—must be addressed. What hidden drivers of kids’ health problems should parents know about? The MAHA Report shines a light on what’s fueling the rise in dysregulation, ADHD, anxiety, and depression in kids today: Poor diet: 70% of children’s calories now come from ultra-processed foods, leaving their brains starved of the nutrients they need to focus, learn, and regulate emotions.Environmental exposures: Everyday chemicals—like pesticides and microplastics—interfere with hormones and raise risks for autism, ADHD, and other mental health struggles.Chronic stress & sleep loss: Exhausted kids can’t bounce back; lack of rest is draining their resilience.Technology overuse: Children average nine hours of non-school screen time daily, and social media alone doubles the risk for anxiety and depression.Over-medicalization: Prescriptions for ADHD, anxiety, and depression keep rising, yet long-term outcomes aren’t improving. 🗣️ “You don’t need to fix everything at once. Start small—like creating tech-free evenings or swapping one processed snack for a whole food option.” – Dr. Roseann If you’re tired of...

    17 мин.
  7. 337: Why Picky Eating Might Not Be Behavioral—It’s Biological

    10 СЕНТ.

    337: Why Picky Eating Might Not Be Behavioral—It’s Biological

    If every mealtime in your house feels like a showdown—tears, gagging, or flat-out refusal to try a bite—you’re probably exhausted and worried. You’ve bent over backwards with rewards, consequences, and endless negotiations, yet nothing seems to work. I want you to know—you’re not alone. In this episode, I’ll share why your picky eater’s behavior is more than just “being fussy,” the biological factors that may be driving your child’s picky eating habits—from sensory sensitivities to gut health—and how you can bring more calm (and more healthy foods) back to the dinner table. Why does my child’s picky eating feel like a constant battle? If every mealtime feels like tug-of-war, you’re not imagining it. What looks like “bad behavior” is often your child’s biology at work. Many kids aren’t refusing food out of stubbornness—they’re reacting to sensory sensitivities or a stressed nervous system. When we understand that picky eating is often about dysregulation instead of defiance, everything starts to shift. Here are a few truths I want you to hold onto: Behavior is communication. Food refusal can be your child’s way of saying, “This feels overwhelming.”Sensory triggers are real. Textures, smells, and even temperatures can set off strong reactions.It’s not bad parenting. Picky eating is a sign of a dysregulated brain—not a reflection of your efforts.Power struggles backfire. The more meals feel like a battle, the harder it is for your child to feel safe around food. Your child isn’t spoiled or dramatic—they’re struggling. And when we calm the nervous system first, we can bring more peace (and variety) back to the table. When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless. The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control. Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today. What biological factors cause picky eating in kids? If your child’s picky eating feels bigger than just “not liking vegetables,” you’re right—biology often plays a huge role. Research, including twin studies from King’s College London, shows that both genetic factors and environmental factors shape how kids develop food preferences. That means picky eating isn’t about willpower or stubbornness—it’s about what’s happening inside your child’s body and brain. Common biological roots of picky eating include: Gut issues like dysbiosis or inflammation that can shift cravings and digestionNutritional deficiencies (zinc, magnesium, B6) that impact appetite and mood regulationNeurodevelopmental disorders such as ADHD, autism, anxiety, or OCD that make eating more restrictiveEarly feeding experiences (reflux, choking, low muscle tone) that create stress around foodGenetics—studies show identical twins share more picky eating behaviors than fraternal twinsConnections to other eating disorders such as ARFID, which can overlap with restrictive eating patterns and disordered eating behaviorsIn some cases, body image concerns may show up in older kids or teens, further complicating eating habits 🗣️ “Picky eating in kids isn’t about being spoiled or difficult—it’s biology shaping eating habits. Once you understand the root cause, you can take steps that actually help.” – Dr. Roseann How can I help my picky eater try new foods without a...

    16 мин.
  8. 336: 5 Signs Your Child is Emotionally Dysregulated (Not Defiant!)

    8 СЕНТ.

    336: 5 Signs Your Child is Emotionally Dysregulated (Not Defiant!)

    Parenting a child who pushes back at every turn can feel downright draining. You’ve tried the time-outs, the sticker charts, the consequences—yet the meltdowns keep coming. It’s easy to start second-guessing yourself or wondering if you’re doing something wrong. You’re not alone. It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain. In this episode, I’ll show you why what looks like defiance is actually emotional dysregulation—a nervous system issue, not a character flaw. We’ll walk through the five signs your child is emotionally dysregulated, not defiant, and I’ll give you practical, brain-based steps you can use to calm the storm and move forward with hope. Why does my child overreact to small problems? One of the biggest giveaways of emotional dysregulation is when kids have big feelings over little things. Maybe it’s the broken crayon, the wrong-colored cup, or being asked to do five more minutes of homework. These disproportionate reactions are a sign that your child’s nervous system is in overdrive. It isn’t bad behavior—it’s your child’s body signaling stress overload. For younger children, this often looks like temper tantrums. For older children, it may show up as irritability, anger, or even shutting down. No matter their age, these big emotions tell you that their emotional regulation skills need support. The key question to ask yourself is: Is this their go-to response? If your child is regularly melting down over small problems, it’s not about being oppositional or defiant. It’s a clear sign they’re struggling with: Emotional regulationSelf control and coping skillsA dysregulated brain that needs help returning to calm When you reframe these moments as emotional dysregulation rather than “bad behavior,” it shifts how you respond. Instead of getting caught in power struggles, you can focus on calming the brain first—because that’s where real change begins. Why does my child stay upset long after a problem is solved? Some kids just can’t seem to let go. Even after the situation is over, they’re still stuck in those big emotions long after everyone else has moved on. This isn’t about holding a grudge—it’s their nervous system getting caught in a stress loop. No matter how much reassurance you give, they may replay the moment again and again. That’s what emotional dysregulation does: it traps kids in the feeling and blocks them from practicing self regulation on their own. So what helps? Co-regulation. Your child’s behavior is communication, and what they need most is your calm presence. That means: Keeping your tone soft and steadyModeling deep breaths and slowing your body downStaying close so they feel safe, even if they don’t accept comfort right away 🗣️ “Your child isn’t choosing to stay upset—they’re stuck in a stress loop. When you calm your own nervous system, you give their brain the roadmap back to regulation.” – Dr. Roseann When we, as parents, stay calm first, we give our kids the emotional skills and examples they need to eventually regulate their own emotions. Why does my child reject comfort when upset? It’s heartbreaking when you reach out to comfort your child and they push you away, scream, or even call you names. While it feels like rejection, what’s really happening is that their brain is flooded and their nervous system can’t take in more input. A dysregulated child often can’t receive comfort until their body begins to settle. These emotional responses aren’t about disrespect or bad behavior—they’re stress-driven survival mode. And remember, even adults sometimes need space before they can calmly re-engage. What...

    10 мин.
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Parenting comes with joys and challenges. If you are a mom or dad with a child or teen who is struggling with everyday life or clinical issues like ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Executive Functioning, Anxiety, OCD, Depression or Mood, or Lyme and PANS/PANDAS, then you need solutions. If you have seen Dr. Roseann on TV, then you know she doesn’t shy away from real talk about real problems. She gives parents the science-backed keys to unlocking big and small kid and family issues. Blending hope with science, Dr. Roseann teaches parents how to calm the brain to have a happy family. https://drroseann.com

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