399: How Uncertainty Feeds Indecision (part 1)

In this 3 part podcast titled Finding Clarity in Your Marriage, even when the rest of the world feels uncertain, Betsy explores how we can find inner stability when the world around us feels chaotic. Betsy offers a helpful tool at the end of each podcast in this series so listen into part 1 and enjoy.

Transcript:

 Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy P, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.

Hi everyone. Welcome to the Art of Living Big. I am doing something a little bit different this week, so I created a three part series called How to Find Clarity in Your Marriage, even When the rest of the World feels Uncertain. Now, you could take the like clarity in your marriage and input anything, so if you don’t have.

Non clarity in your marriage. If you’re not confused about your marriage or wondering if you should stay or go, this still may be helpful information to you because it’s really about resting your nervous system and how to get centered when the world feels like a little crazy on fire, right? So. What I’m gonna do, I created this three part series and I was offering it on, on Instagram and it, I had it set up as like a, a private podcast.

I don’t necessarily know why I did that, other than I wanted to keep it like this three part series that people could enter into to get this information. But the truth is more people will get it if I just put it on the podcast. I, I, sometimes I try to make things more complicated than they need to be.

So we’re gonna do this, it’s gonna be three episodes, but I’m going to give it to you all at once. So that you can get it all at once, so you can just listen if you want. So altogether, it’s maybe only like 45 minutes, so it’s kind of like one big long episode. But I do think it may be helpful to listen to one of the mini episodes and then try it.

Because I give you a tool at the end of every single one. Um, and then the next day, maybe listen to the next one. So even they’re all available. So lesson one is really about why uncertainty feeds indecision. So we’re gonna talk about like what’s really happening inside your body. The second lesson is about the hidden cost of waiting.

This is something I don’t think we think about very much, whether it’s your marriage or anything else, like what that indecision is actually doing. And then our third lesson is about making confident choices in an uncertain world. So how on earth do I make decisions about things big or small when I don’t know what’s happening?

Right? And the truth is we never know what’s happening, so we will, we’ll teach you how to find some certainty and get grounded. I think you’re gonna really like the episodes. I hope you do. So without further ado, we are gonna give you these next few episodes all at once, and let me know what you think.

All right, see you in a See you next week. See you next week. Hi everybody. Hi. Welcome to our private podcast mini series. This is called How to Find Clarity in Your Marriage, even When the Rest of the World Feels Uncertain and Uncertain is probably such an understatement. So I’m really happy that you’re here with me.

I hope that this gives you a lot of value, gives you some new ways of thinking about things, and some tools to be able to shift a little bit. If you’ve listened to my podcast, the Art of Living Big, or been around me or in my vortex for any amount of time, you know that I believe that these shifts that we can have, these little aha moments can happen.

Without any kind of delay. They can happen all the time, and they are little pieces and reminders that miracles happen all the time, and so I’m happy that you’re here. Let’s have some miracles here together as we spend the next three episodes together. If you’re pretty new here, my name is Betsy P. I’m the founder of the Navigate Method, and I’ve hosted the podcast, the Art of Living Big for like the past.

Eight or nine years. So it felt like a really good idea to be able to do this private podcast for you and share this information because that’s the format that so many of you have heard me and listened to me over all these years, and I feel like this information. Can really be a big shift in how you’re experiencing the world.

And you know, when I say like, even when the rest of the world feels uncertain, like uncertain is probably like a huge understatement, right? So over the next three episodes, I am gonna walk you through why you feel so stuck. Indecision and probably about a lot of things. You know, we’re gonna be framing this around your marriage, but it’s probably a lot of things and there’s a real reason for it, a biological reason for it.

It’s not your fault, it means your brain’s working really well. So we’re gonna dive into that. In the second episode, we’re gonna talk about the hidden cost of waiting, how postponing decisions actually drains way more from you than you realize. And finally, the last episode, we’re gonna talk about your path to inner stability so that you can start making confident choices no matter what’s happening outside of you.

And I wanna say. And I will reiterate this as we get to episode three, but that is a practice. It is something that you learn and you continue to practice and get better and better and better at it. So if you have been circling the same questions like, should I stay? Should I go? What’s happening? What if I go and I regret it?

What if I stay and I lose my life? How long do I stay? When is this gonna end? Can it get better? Look, all of those things. Then this series is gonna give you some relief. Finally understanding why you’re stuck and how to start moving forward. And by the end, you’re gonna know exactly what steps to take to stop living in limbo and start building stability in your life whether the world comes down or not.

Alright? So right now I’m gonna state the obvious, which is that the world feels really chaotic, right? There’s politics, there’s the economy, there is the news cycle. I know when I go on social media, maybe I’ll get on TikTok and I try to swipe really fast if it’s not something that will bring my vibe up, right?

I try to teach the algorithm that I really want fun, happy things in cat videos, you know, because I go there to get away and to have an escape, but it’s inescapable. Right. There is constant division and there is constantly people telling you their side of things in a very authoritative way that. Then leads everyone in the comments to begin arguing, right?

So many times we see this and you know, people comment and argue in the comments around CAT videos as well. So it is just everywhere. And then I go to Instagram or I go to Facebook and people are arguing there. And gosh, sometimes it’s people that I’ve known my whole life and I think like. How do I disagree so deeply with what they’re saying?

And so we’re seeing all of these things all the time that that cause us to feel constriction. If we watch the news, we feel constriction there. And then if we have constriction at home in our own marriage, just over little things that are happening or big things in our lives, right? So the truth is you really just cannot get away from it.

It’s everywhere. And when the world outside feels really unstable, it’s natural to tell yourself, now isn’t the time to deal with my marriage. Like I have to wait for things to settle down. I think this makes a lot of sense, and I hear this from women over and over and over again. Like, I need to wait till I know what’s happening in the world before I deal with this.

But here’s the truth. That is that waiting actually isn’t the thing that gives you safety. Waiting’s actually the thing that’s keeping you stuck and that stuck feeling. That is a really exhausting place to live. And the longer you stay there, the more depleted you actually get and the more depleted you get, the less able you are to be able to cope with what’s happening.

So. Let’s talk about why we get stuck in the first place. So when the world starts to feel really unpredictable, right? Our, our what we’re seeing out in the world, but also inside, right? When our world, the world, our world, our brain naturally defaults to survival. So. I have said probably on the podcast a million times, but I, I like this example because I think we can think about this from a biological perspective.

If I am walking through a field and there’s a rustle in the grass, I have to know that there’s a tiger, right? I have to know that there’s something that maybe unsafe to me, something that might harm me, and so I begin to become, become acutely aware of the rustle in the grass. But the truth is now I can go outside and walk my dog and I don’t have to worry about a tiger, right?

But my brain. Still has that high alert and so it kind of like swoosh really up close. So now it’s scanning for patterns, right? Patterns of anything that I see that will also trigger that, oh, there’s a tiger in the grass. It might be a a. Something on TV or a comment or something that our brains are like, that’s the pattern.

And right now we’re being fed so much information that it can become really alarming and our brains don’t know what’s real, what’s not real, when to shut off. Uh, I will go from a horrific. Video to the very next one of somebody’s birthday party. And my brain’s not designed to go from tragedy to happiness in, in a swipe.

And so what happens is that fight, flight, or freeze kicks in and it kicks in at times where I, it