Resource Yourself

Sefora Ray

The Resource Yourself podcast is the place where people come to resource themselves—emotionally, mentally, and relationally—so they can create relationships, a life and a world that feel more secure, connected, and alive. Whether it’s attachment styles, attachment healing, love, boundaries, self-worth, or nervous system regulation, Sefora Janel Ray breaks down the science and the soul of what it takes to feel resourced from the inside out. With deep insights, real talk, and practical tools, she helps listeners stop running on empty and start showing up—fully, powerfully, and with the capacity to build not just better relationships, but a better world. Because when people have the right resources, they don’t just heal themselves—they help heal the collective.

  1. Boundaries Like a Bad A**

    10 MAY

    Boundaries Like a Bad A**

    💬 Episode Summary: If the word boundary makes your nervous system flinch a little — this episode is for you. In today’s conversation, Sefora shares why most people (especially anxious attachers) confuse complaints with boundaries, and how that confusion can keep you stuck in protest mode, overgiving, or saying what you don’t want… without ever clearly naming what you do. You’ll learn why true boundaries are sacred invitations — not walls, not ultimatums — and how to set them from a place of clarity, desire, and self-respect. From romantic relationships to the chaos of divisive politics, this episode explores: Why anxious attachers often struggle to follow through on consequences What it really means to say “I need” or “I have to have” (before you’re in a spiral) The difference between punishment and inviting people into the love you’re creating How to stop people-pleasing without swinging into defensiveness or disconnection The feast metaphor that will change how you think about boundaries forever What it means to set a boundary in your personal life, your politics, and your presence in the world If you’ve ever wondered how to be clear without being harsh, or how to protect your peace without cutting people off in anger — this one is for you. ✨ Boundaries rooted in love are possible. ✨ And the people who want what you’re creating will pull up a chair. —   For more Resources or info on how to be secure in relationship goto www.therapytothrive.com

    18 min
  2. Reclaiming Parts of Yourself From Others

    5 MAY

    Reclaiming Parts of Yourself From Others

    Episode Title: Reclaiming the Parts of You That Love Left Behind 🌀 Episode Summary: In today’s resourcing audio, I’m guiding you through a deeply restorative practice to help you reclaim the parts of yourself you’ve given away—especially in past relationships. Whether it's someone you loved, someone you worked tirelessly for, or even a person or cause you’re still mentally spinning about, this visualization is here to bring your energy back home. This isn’t about blame. It’s about coming back into wholeness. You’ll be gently led through a process of calling your care, attention, love, and power back to you—so you can feel full, whole, and anchored in yourself again. This practice can be returned to any time you feel drained, heartbroken, or just want to reconnect with your center. 🎙 What You'll Experience: A grounding breath practice to calm and center you A guided visualization to identify where your energy may still be entangled Powerful affirmations to call your love and power back A soft landing into self-devotion, self-respect, and emotional sovereignty 🫀This is for you if: You still think about someone who couldn’t love you back You’ve given so much in love, and now feel emptied out You're craving closure, healing, or energetic freedom You want to feel full again—without needing anyone else to give that to you Let this be your space to return to yourself, again and again. ✨ Press play and come back to your wholeness. You deserve every piece of yourself.

    13 min
  3. Healing Gets to Feel Good

    26 ABR

    Healing Gets to Feel Good

    🌿 Episode Summary: Hello my friend—welcome back to the Resource Yourself podcast. Today, we’re exploring a powerful and often overlooked truth: healing isn’t just about feeling the hard stuff. Healing gets to feel good. In this episode, I share why goodness—love, safety, beauty, joy—isn’t just a side effect of healing, it’s a requirement. We talk about how nervous system regulation, gratitude, and moments of peace actually lay the foundation for deep transformation. Whether you’re healing your attachment style, working through grief, navigating injustice, or simply trying to stay grounded in a chaotic world—this episode is your invitation to come back to center. To reconnect with what you love. To soften. To receive. To allow goodness in. And from that place? You’ll not only feel better—you’ll become more powerful, more effective, and more connected. 🧠 In this episode, you’ll learn: Why feeling good isn’t a distraction from healing—it’s a prerequisite The connection between love and nervous system regulation How to recognize the love behind your anger, grief, and heartbreak What Joanna Macy taught me about gratitude as activism The wisdom of Quaker silence, Buddhist stillness, and earth-based listening How to ask for support (from people, spirit, or the earth) and actually receive it Practical ways to anchor into love, joy, and support—even when things are hard 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned: 🌸 Follow me on Instagram for daily reminders, reels, and resourcing tools: @seforaray 🎧 Listen to other episodes of the podcast: Resource Yourself on Apple Podcasts Resource Yourself on Spotify 💌 Join my email list to get love notes, healing tools, and program updates: Sign up here 💗 Want to work with me? Explore my transformational program:From Anxious to Secure 📚 Learn more about Joanna Macy and her work on “The Work That Reconnects”: https://workthatreconnects.org 🕊️ Curious about Quaker spiritual practice? https://www.fgcquaker.org 💬 Let’s Stay Connected: If this episode stirred something in you, please share it with someone you love. Tag me on Instagram @seforaray and let me know your biggest takeaway. And if you want more support, or you’re ready to feel grounded, seen, and secure in love—DM me the word "SECURE" and I’ll send you a resource that helps ground you in secure, happy relationships. 🌹 Closing Thought: You don’t have to be in pain to be growing. You don’t have to be endlessly struggling to be evolving. Your healing gets to feel good. And you are so, so worthy of that goodness.

    14 min
  4. A Spell for Remembering

    8 ABR

    A Spell for Remembering

    ✨ Episode Summary: In this deeply supportive and transformational episode of Resource Yourself, I’m sharing one of my favorite tools—something that’s been powerful for me, for my clients, and for the students in my programs. It’s a process I’m calling the Spell of Remembering—and yes, it comes with a magical word: DRACO. This isn’t just another mindset trick. It’s a way to intervene in the exact moment you feel stuck, shift the unconscious loops you’ve been living inside of, and reconnect with something that’s been waiting beneath the surface of your life. I’ll walk you through how to use the DRACO spell to move from old, limiting decisions into new states of being—states that invite ease, support, love, and joy into your relationships, your work, and your world. You'll also hear how I use this process to reframe even the heaviest beliefs—whether they’re personal, ancestral, or political—and reclaim a sense of agency in the face of them. Whether you’re working through anxious attachment, burnout, scarcity, heartbreak, or existential despair—this spell is here to bring you home to something powerful, ancient, and alive inside you. This episode is full of personal examples, practical prompts, and poetic inspiration—and I truly hope it sparks something inside you. 🔮 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why the beliefs running your life might actually be decisions your brain made to keep you safe How every decision cuts off a different possibility—and how to remember what got left behind How to spiral up using new, empowering associations The five-part DRACO spell for interrupting patterns and reconnecting to truth: D — Decision: Identify the core belief as a decision you made (or inherited) R — Remember: Name what truth got cut off in that moment A — Allow: Spiral up by allowing in new ideas, new evidence, and new possibilities C — Connect: Bring the experience into your body and your emotional field O — Open: Expand into action, openness, and embodiment of your new state How this tool can be used for love, work, creative resistance, spiritual alignment—and even for reframing political despair 🧠 Why It Matters: So many of us walk around with unconscious beliefs like: “I’m fundamentally alone.” “I have to work really hard to be loved.” “Support isn’t available to me.” “Work is supposed to be exhausting.” “The world is broken, and I’m powerless to change it.” And while we may know those beliefs aren’t serving us… sometimes we don’t know how to get out of them. This episode offers a concrete, heartfelt tool to do just that—by helping you access the wisdom that’s been cut off, the possibility you forgot to imagine, and the embodiment of a life that feels way more aligned with who you truly are. 🪄 Quotes to Remember: “What if the beliefs in your life weren’t beliefs… but actually decisions?” “The root of the word decide is -cide. It means: to cut off. So what got cut off when you made that decision?” “Your brain is associative. You are associative in being. Which means you can spiral into fear—or spiral up into something new.” “DRACO is not about bypassing pain. It’s about reclaiming power.” “Open to this truth being yours. Let it take up space. Let it shift what you do next.” 💌 Special Invitation: If you resonated with this episode—especially the parts about anxious attachment, core beliefs, or creating a new emotional reality—then I would love to invite you into my full program, From Anxious to Secure. Enrollment is open this week only, and this is the only time I’ll be offering it at this level of live support for a while. Inside the program, we go even deeper into: Nervous system work Healing insecure attachment Building emotional safety Receiving love instead of chasing it And learning how to resource yourself every day Learn more and join us here 🌿 Resources & Links: Join From Anxious to Secure  Connect with me on Instagram → @seforaray Share this episode with a friend who could use some magic ✨ Rate & review the show if it supported you 💖 🎧 Listen To This Episode If… You’re feeling stuck in old patterns and want a fresh way out You’ve been carrying beliefs that don’t serve you, and you’re ready to lay them down You’ve done all the self-help things, but still feel stuck You want a tool that blends psychology, magic, and nervous system regulation You’re craving a sense of possibility, hope, and creative power in your life Thanks for being here, friend. Your remembering is powerful. And you’re never alone in it. With love, Sefora 💫

    26 min

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The Resource Yourself podcast is the place where people come to resource themselves—emotionally, mentally, and relationally—so they can create relationships, a life and a world that feel more secure, connected, and alive. Whether it’s attachment styles, attachment healing, love, boundaries, self-worth, or nervous system regulation, Sefora Janel Ray breaks down the science and the soul of what it takes to feel resourced from the inside out. With deep insights, real talk, and practical tools, she helps listeners stop running on empty and start showing up—fully, powerfully, and with the capacity to build not just better relationships, but a better world. Because when people have the right resources, they don’t just heal themselves—they help heal the collective.

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