A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

Megan Gill

A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations is a safe space for people to come to learn about how to cultivate a healthy body image. This is a place where questions will be asked, topics will be explored, and conversations will be had. I do not have the answers myself. Through the Continued Conversations Series overarching goal is to continually bring guests into this space to speak about their expertise in their fields to bring us closer to collective understanding. While this space is geared towards performers, all walks of life are welcome! My intention is to share information that could help anyone struggling with relating to their self-image, and I plan to bring on guests outside of the performance space as well. Hit “subscribe now” to get notified when I share a post. There is an option to join a paid plan for $8/month or $60/year - beginning May 2025, this plan will be where I share the Continued Conversations Series with my guests. You’ll also gain instant access to our community where you can comment on posts and engage with our A Broadway Body community! Email me at themegangill@gmail.com with any topics or questions you’d like me to dive into, if you have a suggestion for a guest you’d like to hear from, or if you would like to be interviewed for the blog yourself! Subscribe to the newsletter on Substack and remember to sign up for a paid plan if you’d like to receive the Continued Conversations Series + join our community starting May 2025! ---------- Disclaimer: While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers. themegangill.substack.com

  1. FEB 3

    Continued Conversations with Cornelia Hanes

    Everyone please welcome Cornelia Hanes to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Cornelia and I met in acting class - she’s a phenomenal actress and filmmaker, as well as a lovely human being. The intersection of her work in both the fitness and entertainment industries, not to mention her being a new mama, makes for a vital conversation about body image. There is so much to take away from what we chat about and what Cornelia shares. In our conversation, we discuss… * Doing the inner work to love your body for all it can do * Feeling strong and calling on your body to do incredible things * Creating messy, real, raw female characters in raw, real, messy films * The physical body changes along with the habitual diet/movement changes being a new mom brings * The beauty in feeling strong as hell * Our deepest insecurities will always be with us * Challenging our modern concept of beauty standards * Raising her daughter to non-negotiably care for her body through leading by example Our conversation is full of golden nuggets Cornelia shares about her journey with her body, and I’m so excited for you to listen in! “The other day, I was in a parking garage, and the elevators – one didn’t work and one was working, but there was a long line. This was a holiday, so that’s why I didn’t – there was just a lot of people there. And I was like, all right. After seven minutes standing in this queue for getting in the elevator, I was like, I’m just gonna take the stairs. So I took the stroller with my – she’s probably 25 pounds at this point – and the diaper bag, and I just lifted it and walked the stairs. I loved being able to do that. I was like I got this. I’m just gonna carry all of this. And then as I got to where I was going, I met a woman who had two toddlers, and she saw me and she just nodded her head and she’s like, “Hell yeah, strong mom.” And I was like, Ugh. I love the mom community.” - Cornelia Hanes Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 19-minute mark: Megan Gill: Okay, so shifting over to you and where you are at now in your life. You are an actor, and you have been working in the health and wellness space for quite a while now, and you are a new mom. So I’m curious how your body image journey has led you now to this place, and kind of if there’s a trajectory of how your relationship to your own body has shifted through different phases of life, and where you find yourself now as a new mom, which I understand does bring up change. You literally housed a baby inside of you for nine months. Of course your body’s changing. Cornelia Hanes: Yeah. Megan Gill: I’m just curious your personal experience and if you would be willing to share a little bit about where you’ve been and where you find yourself now. Cornelia Hanes: Yes, so I am in a wonderful place with my body. I have never been so appreciative and grateful for it. I’m so in love with my daughter and the fact that I had a healthy pregnancy, a healthy delivery, she’s thriving. I am just in awe of women’s bodies and being able to create life. So that I feel very grateful to have experienced, and the fact that we are doing well and I had a nice recovery, not without its bumps for sure. And I am nursing still, so a big thing for me is, one, I have to work out. I’m a former athlete, so if I don’t move my body, I go cuckoo. I just do that to move energy and just make sure my head is clear. But that doesn’t necessarily always mean lifting weights. Sometimes that’s a walk outside. It’s just moving the body. So I make sure I get movement every day. I really have to be adamant about protein and calories and drinking at least three liters of water so that my supply doesn’t dip. So that’s where I’m at right now. I gotta make sure that I am still able to feed her and feed myself and do all of that. I’ve had a different experience with body image. So I used to be an elite swimmer, right? I grew up swimming and I’ve always been an athlete, and when I was growing up, I was skinny and I had broad shoulders and I hated that. I just wanted curves. I wanted boobs. I wanted an ass so bad. That’s what I wanted. And so, being a teenager, and then it got better in college, but I was always – I had a swimmer’s body. Sure, I was strong and I was athletic. But it’s so funny, right? You always want what you don’t have, especially as you’re growing up and trying to figure out who you are. Megan Gill: The grass is always greener. So I had a lot of self-doubt around just not looking feminine enough. The fact that I had a big back because I was strong as hell, now I’m like, oh, I wish I would’ve appreciated all the benefits instead. But you’re a teenager. You don’t really think about it that way. And then in college, much of my identity was a swimmer. You know, I was in the pool all the time and competing in NCAA and all of that. So that kind of faded a little bit, and I had a great team of other girls and we were just such a strong unit, that noise dampened a little bit. Megan Gill: I love that. Cornelia Hanes: But still, also, American culture – I don’t know if when the Kardashians came up to light, but again I just wanted to be curvy and I just wanted to feel more like a woman than I did. And, like we talked about with aging, I think I’ve done a lot of work on myself where I’ve just realized that’s just silly. This is the body you have, love it for all it can do. So I’ve done a lot of work on myself in that capacity. And now, I just love feeling strong. I just love being able to call on my body for all of the things. The other day I was in a parking garage, and the elevators – one didn’t work and one was working, but there was a long line. This was a holiday, so that’s why I didn’t – there was just a lot of people there. And I was like, all right. After seven minutes standing in this queue for getting in the elevator, I was like, I’m just gonna take the stairs. So I took the stroller with my – she’s probably 25 pounds at this point – and the diaper bag, and I just lifted it and walked the stairs. Megan Gill: Hell yeah. Cornelia Hanes: I loved being able to do that. I was like I got this. I’m just gonna carry all of this. And then as I got to where I was going, I met a woman who had two toddlers, and she saw me and she just nodded her head and she’s like, “Hell yeah, strong mom.” And I was like, Ugh. I love the mom community of just… Megan Gill: Ah, that makes me emotional. Cornelia Hanes: But I was like, I love that she saw that and recognized that, and she’s probably been there herself. And also, with my my short film, Anaconda, I think I’ve always just been passionate about embracing being perfectly imperfect. And I love seeing women on screen that are messy and just real and raw, and I’ve always tried to mimic that with my filmmaking and my comedy. And so, I think that’s the underlying theme of my adult life, that I just want, any way I can, to make other women feel good in the skin they’re in but also feel empowered and strong from the inside out is really a passion of mine. And if I can help women feel even a little bit better in that sense, that’s just something I love being able to do and feel so passionate about. But I will say even, Anaconda is on Omeleto now, and when we released it to the world, and – you know this – it’s a little daunting releasing a film into the world. And don’t know what I was thinking with the outfits I was wearing in that short, I don’t know. But for some reason, I’m choosing this crop top, and it’s making my shoulders look even wider. And I could tell that came up for me again. It hasn’t really been a thought for a long time. I’ve embraced my athletic body. But there were some comments like, oh, she looks like a dude, or that’s a man or whatever. And my stomach was just like – first it was like, what? And then I just started laughing. I was like that’s very inaccurate, but still, comments like that still – Megan Gill: Yeah. Cornelia Hanes: – sent me back to my teenage self when I was not feeling good in my body and being so self-conscious about that. Now I can look at that and laugh, but in that moment I was like, oh, wow, that was triggering for me. Megan Gill: Yeah. Oh my god, it makes so much sense. It’s like these traumas, if you will, body traumas, body image traumas never leave us. And the things about ourselves that we are most insecure about are always going to be there, right, no matter how much work we do. But it’s like, of course, I think we have to – and not that you’re not giving yourself grace, but overarchingly, I think that us women need to give ourselves grace for feeling those things and for having insecurities because of course you felt the way you did in a culture that is obsessed with women that are skinny but not too skinny, but also have a curvy butt and also have big boobs. It’s like nobody – we can’t ever win. Cornelia Hanes: Yeah. Megan Gill: My insecurities of having my belly pooch, that is not culturally seen as attractive in a similar sense as being super thin and tall with broad shoulders isn’t necessarily seen as the “ideal.” So it’s like, of course, we are feeling these things, which I think is just important to point out that there is a reason for us to feel like we are not – these parts of ourselves that we’re insecure about are never going to be good enough or accepted or all of that, all of that stuff, all of that noise. Especially as an actor too, because, god, don’t worry, the same experience happens for me as well, or a similar experience of seeing myself on camera and being like – judging my body. Cornelia Hanes: Yeah. Megan Gill: And granted, my first film was about body image, so that was such a freeing experience to be like – I remember when I was in pre-

    49 min
  2. JAN 20

    Continued Conversations with Roxana Venzor Garcia

    Everyone please welcome my dear friend Roxana Venzor Garcia to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! As Roxana and I have become closer friends this year, she has been so receptive to my deep affinity and love for talking about body image online. Slowly but surely, she would respond to my posts and share bits and pieces of her story with me. She then came to me with her story being diagnosed with alopecia areata and how much it changed the way she viewed her body, saying how much the work I’ve been doing has inspired her (which, like, INSTANT TEARS for me), and I knew I had to ask her to come have a conversation with me. I’m just amazed at how vulnerable and willing to share her story Roxana was, even though she was nervous and didn’t know she’d ever find herself in a place to share this story without breaking down, and I’m so beyond grateful she trusted this space with me to explore it verbally. This is a powerful conversation on so many levels, and I cannot wait for you to listen! In our conversation, we discuss… * Roxana’s upbringing in a culture that normalizes commenting on bodies * Roxana’s bout with diet pills and an ED * The cultural norm of never being satisfied with our bodies * Her journey with alopecia areata * The direct correlation between treating our bodies well and our overall health and wellness * The emotional rollercoaster from diagnosis to treatment to healing and everything in between * The trauma of losing your hair, especially as a woman * The importance of caring for our mental health in order to be physically healthy too * The power of sharing your struggles online to reach those who need to hear what you’re going through to not feel alone in their struggle * How meaningful basic support from friends and family actually is * Working through no longer letting our bodies define who we are * Finding the gratitude, appreciation, and tenderness for the body that you have right now “ When I went to my doctor, she told me, ‘No, I have a lot of patients like you, but it’s a very hard thing that women go through that nobody wants to share it.’” - Roxana Venzor Garcia If just one person hears this story, we hope they feel seen and know they are not alone on their journey. Book Roxana refers to in our conversation: You Can Heal Your Life “ So I remember I had one of my best friends till now, she was like, “Hey, my aunt is just taking these pills that make you lose a lot of weight.” And you cannot buy them if you are not 18 years old. We were like 15 at the time and she was like, “But she’s gonna buy them for me, and I’m gonna share them with you, but just don’t say anything.” And I was like, “Perfect.” So I remember just starting taking those pills, and they will make me feel really weird, but I was losing the weight, so I was like, “Perfect.” I think that was probably for a year during high school where I was literally just having one meal a day. My mom was working, at the time, three jobs at the time, so I was the one making food and helping out with my brother, whatever. So I was able to get away with not eating. Also, I lost a lot of weight, and my whole family, my mom, everybody, was like, “Oh my god! You look so pretty! Good job!”” - Roxana Venzor Garcia Megan Gill: Hi, Roxana! Roxana Venzor Garcia: Hi! Megan Gill: I’m so excited that you’re here having this conversation with me today, and that you are feeling nervous about it, but doing it anyways! Roxana Venzor Garcia: Thank you for inviting me, and yes, I am nervous, but I’m gonna work through that with our conversation. Megan Gill: I love it. I love it. So can you just start by introducing yourself and sharing a little bit about the type of work that you do in the world? Roxana Venzor Garcia: My name is Roxana. I think I need to say, first and foremost, I’m from Mexico, so there is where the accent is coming from for anybody that is listening. I moved here in 2017, and I work as an RN, and I work in the oncology department with cancer patients. So that’s what I do three times a week for 12 hours. That’s my job. Megan Gill: That’s amazing and so needed in our world, as I’m sure you know. Yeah, so it’s also interesting that you – because I believe everybody has a body image story, no matter who you are, no matter what your body looks like, no matter what you’ve dealt with or haven’t dealt with, your experiences that you may have had. Whatever your life experience and lived experience is, I believe everyone has a body image story. And you so graciously came to me and shared yours. I know that you had shared it on your Instagram, but you sent it over to me to read through, not necessarily the whole of your story, of course. Roxana Venzor Garcia: No. Megan Gill: This shit runs very deep. But before we dive into the specific aspect that you had shared with me, do you wanna talk a little bit about your relationship with your body in general in your life? So obviously now being in your thirties, I feel a lot of women grow into – their relationship with their body grows and flourishes and blooms in a different way than it did in our younger years. So I’m just curious if anything’s coming up for you within that, that you wanna share or talk about? Roxana Venzor Garcia: So I honestly feel everything, my relationship with my body and the way that I always thought and spoke to my body led me to have alopecia areata, which was the problem that I shared with you. My relationship with my body, I feel like as every other woman, has always been – it’s a toxic boyfriend, toxic ex. Growing up Hispanic, growing up Mexican, talking about your body in front of other people, it’s okay in your family. They will always – it’s very toxic, and they will always be talking about your body even if you are not okay with it. I remember growing up, I was in a normal weight. I remember having a normal – I never had any issues or thoughts about my body until – my childhood was not a very easy childhood. I moved a lot. My mom was a single mom, so it was a lot of things, and I remember probably when I started my treatment for alopecia, that’s when I was oh my god, I think I have anxiety since I was five years old, but I didn’t know. Megan Gill: Yeah. Roxana Venzor Garcia: So I remember food was a comfort for me. So I remember hiding food in my room when I was little and just eating it at night. And then I will wake up and I will have candy in my mouth. These are things that I haven’t shared with a lot of people, but I remember and that will bring me comfort. And I think that’s when I started gaining weight. So obviously my brother will always make fun of me because my best friend was super skinny and they will say, “Oh look, the number 10 walking.” And I was like, “I’m the zero.” Megan Gill: Wow. Roxana Venzor Garcia: And it’s crazy because I know that my mom was doing the best she could with what she had. She grew up the same or even worse with those comments, you know? Megan Gill: Yeah. Roxana Venzor Garcia: So she wouldn’t stop it. She wouldn’t say anything. So my brother would be literally my biggest bully sometimes. I have a good relationship with him, but I remember. Megan Gill: Is he older or younger? I’m just curious. Roxana Venzor Garcia: He’s older. Megan Gill: Okay. Yeah. Roxana Venzor Garcia: Yeah, and then obviously going to visit my family, everybody will have a comment about me and I was there. And then they will say – my mom’s name is Roxana as well. So they will say, “Roxana, she’s getting chubby,” and I was there. Or, “Oh, my god, she’s eating a lot. Maybe you shouldn’t eat another plate,” or things like that. I remember I was probably eight, nine years old, and my mom had my younger brother when I was seven, and I remember my mom was trying to lose weight from her pregnancy, for the pregnancy weight, and there was this book, and I will never forget, it was like “How to lose 25 pounds in 10 days or 15 days,” something like that. Megan Gill: Oh my god, yeah, wild. Roxana Venzor Garcia: And I will never forget. And my mom was, “Hey, Roxana, we’re doing this.” And I was like… I honestly was probably seven, eight years old. She’s like, “We’re doing this.” And I remember it’s, “Oh, okay. I’m gonna lose weight. I’m gonna lose weight.” And I remember she will make breakfast for my brother or whatever, and then it was something really nice and good. And then she – I will never forget; I feel this is a core memory – she brought out two pieces of ham with just a string of cheese, and she’s like, “This is yours.” And I was like, “Oh.” And she’s like, “Because we’re losing weight, remember?” Megan Gill: Oh, my goodness. Roxana Venzor Garcia: And I’m not saying this like, “My mom –.” This is the way that honestly Hispanic families – and I know other cultures, other races is the same, but Hispanic is toxic about women’s bodies and the way that they approach it. I can say that for my family. And yeah, so it was like growing up I always hated my body. The word was I hated my body. I hated it. I always remember feeling – and sometimes I even struggled with that. I always – I grew up feeling less than other people my age, other girls. So obviously I grew up hating my body. And when I was in high school, I remember I really liked this guy, and I was oh my god, he’s never gonna me because I’m fat. So I lost a lot of weight because I just wanted to do it for myself. So I lost the weight and he still didn’t me. And I was like, oh, so it’s not that, it is just… Megan Gill: Oh, wow. It’s so wild because – I just wanna jump in because that is also a core social part of my childhood. My middle school, high school years was me being a chubbier kid and just learning that the cute boys that I had a crush on weren’t gonna like me – just lear

    59 min
  3. JAN 6

    Continued Conversations with Dona Gill (My Mom!)

    Everyone please welcome my mama, Dona Gill, to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! I somehow swindled her into sitting down with me when I was home over Thanksgiving to have a conversation. She was hesitant to say yes, but I’m so thankful she did because I walked away from our conversation a more empowered woman. In our conversation, we discuss… * When little kids start to recognize their bodies are different * SlimFast, Zumba, and all of the diets/workouts we tried as I was growing up * The dynamic between my mom and her mom as she was growing up * Older generations of women being raised for survival vs. 90s kids being raised to harp on every physical flaw * Body comparison and desire to hide your body * Finding your own personal priorities when it comes to our health and your movement practice * How our relationship with seeing yourself in the mirror vs. seeing yourself in photos can be so different * Complimenting others and receiving compliments yourself (Mama Gill is here for the compliments!) * The cultural acceptance of a belly being viewed as beautiful when pregnant and unattractive when not * The experience of looking in the mirror and seeing your mother This conversation could have gone so many ways, and it was lovely to follow where it led. (Though I know I want to have her back for another conversation in 2026!) I’m so grateful for my mom - she raised me the best she could. She put me in dance and gave me the gift of mobility and flexibility without even recognizing that’s what she was doing. She moved with me in Zumba classes and at little boutique gyms for women because it was a fun way for us to connect. My body image issues didn’t fully stem from her as much as they stemmed from social and cultural conditioning, and for that I am grateful. But being a woman in today’s society comes with its inherent body image norms and standards that we naturally gravitate towards adhering to. It was intriguing to explore some of these topics with my mom and hear her thoughts. We shared a few really lovely moments in our conversations of things that I did not know about my own mama, and it was lovely to listen to her open up about her relationship to her body. I hope you enjoy our chat and that it might inspire you to have similar conversations with your own mom about these topics ♥️ “I always thought I was fat. Even though I was size 14, I always thought I was fat. I don’t know why. I just always thought that and I really wasn’t ever, but it never brought me down. It was just a comparing thing, but it never made me feel bad, that I know of. But I always thought I was fat. Like I couldn’t wear a two-piece until our honeymoon. And then I could. Because I just felt I couldn’t. I felt I was fat and I really wasn’t. And in today’s world it’s not at all, not at all how I was feeling at the time. But it didn’t bring me down, and I didn’t think anything of it, really. Just like, ‘No, I can’t wear that. I’ll wear this instead.’” - DONA GILL Megan Gill: Hi, mom! Dona Gill: Hi, daughter. Megan Gill: Mama Gill is here today having a conversation with me! I’m home for Thanksgiving. Dona Gill: Yay! Megan Gill: And I somehow conned her into sitting down to talk with me. Dona Gill: So much fun! Megan Gill: So, I’m glad you’re here, mom. Dona Gill: Me too. Megan Gill: And thank you for being open to talking with me. Do you wanna start by just introducing yourself and your work that you do in the world? Dona Gill: My name is Dona Gill. I’m Megan’s mommy. I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’ve been a teacher for many years. Megan Gill: Yes. Okay. So you’re teaching young people – young, young, young, young people. Dona Gill: Five-, and six-year-olds right now. Megan Gill: And before you had me, you were teaching third grade. Dona Gill: Correct. Megan Gill: And I know that you substituted me when I was in high school… Dona Gill: Middle school. I never did high school. Elementary and middle school. Megan Gill: So you’ve taught an array of different-aged children over the years. Dona Gill: Yessiree. Megan Gill: How interesting. Is there anything, specifically in kindergarten? Like, are little kids aware of their bodies and what they look like in space? Dona Gill: Not really. Once in a great while you might hear someone say, “You’re fat,” just to be mean. Once, I’ve maybe heard it once or twice, maybe. They don’t recognize skin color until we say something, till we’re teaching about it. Not really, I try to teach positivity in the classroom. So yeah, I don’t hear a lot of it. Megan Gill: That’s really interesting. And also just sad that young kids are still thinking calling somebody fat is an insult, you know? Dona Gill: Yessiree. Megan Gill: Yeah, and how that’s still very much baked into our culture. Dona Gill: Yes, it is. Megan Gill: Yeah. Okay. Interesting. Thanks for sharing. Okay. So obviously I grew up in the nineties and early two thousands, in a time where thin was definitely in and the term people like to say “heroin chic” was a thing where everybody was very skinny and everybody in the media was preaching thinness, and diet culture was rampant. And god, I know we were on SlimFast and we were in random workout classes when I was in like middle school working out together, which was actually kind of fun and empowering to be like working out together when I was young. I think that’s pretty cool that we did that, like mother daughter. Dona Gill: I think we just did it for fun to be together. Megan Gill: Yeah, it was fun. Dona Gill: And to let’s just do it. Megan Gill: But also it’s interesting because there still was totally like this cultural overarching like, “Oh, but let’s lose weight!” I remember it being like that, and I think it’s so interesting because for us it was more “fun,” like it was more enjoyable. I remember having a good time with it, but it’s also just like, damn, man. Still, there’s like the under-arcing layer there, like the invisible layer almost of like, “Okay, but we’re gonna do this because we’re gonna lose weight.” Dona Gill: Mm-hmm. “And it’s gonna work.” Megan Gill: And it’s gonna work, instead of like, “Oh, let’s go move our bodies because it’s joyful and because it’s fun and because, oh, it’s good for you and because you should be moving your bodies.” It’s interesting because I don’t know that I learned – granted I did grow up doing a bunch of different sports and dancing, and I’m very grateful to you for putting me in dance. So grateful. So beyond grateful, because my body’s able to move in these ways now, and it’s able to stretch in these ways that I think is just inherent. I’m realizing more and more as I’m like in different yoga classes and just experiencing different types of movement and moving my body in different ways, I’m realizing, oh, not everybody gets to move like this and has this much ease in their body. And I’m just so grateful to you. You probably didn’t even realize at the time. Dona Gill: I just wanted to find something that you enjoyed doing. Megan Gill: Yeah. Dona Gill: To pursue. And I’m glad it was dance because I loved watching you. Megan Gill: Yeah, me too. Me too. Sorry, I took that on a tangent. But it’s interesting because – I’m trying to tie it back to what we were saying before… Dona Gill: Doing it for fun or now you can move. Megan Gill: Right, I don’t know that I was taught movement is good for you and I don’t think that’s at any fault to you. I don’t know that you would’ve known to even teach that at that time that our culture was in. I think we’ve come so far in the past 30 years of understanding how important movement is and how important activity is and how important eating your daily greens or whatever, just these different things to, to keep our body going, to keep the longevity of our body up and just – yeah, it’s so sad how much diet culture was baked into all of the things that we were doing, and I guess that’s my perspective on it. So I’m more so curious to take it back further to when you were like a kid, teenager coming into your body as a young woman. And I’m really curious to know what the dynamic between you and your mom was, or you also have an older sister. So I’m curious to know if there was anything there in terms of what you learned about your body as a young woman, and then I don’t know if culture has impact into that as well, social conditioning, cultural conditioning. I’m just curious kind of what your experience was with all of that. Dona Gill: Not a lot. There really wasn’t. It wasn’t body image because I was size 14 all the time. So I never thought anything of it, unless maybe I would go with my sister who’s shorter and maybe slightly chubbier, but not really. And then she would always say, “Everything always looks so good on you. Everything looks good on you whenever you would try something on.” And my mom would always say, “Yeah, that looks good. Yeah, that looks good.” So I never thought anything of it. I don’t think it was really a big deal in my eyes growing up. Megan Gill: Okay. So your mom didn’t have a lot to say about your body? Dona Gill: No. Megan Gill: That’s pretty f*****g cool, honestly. Dona Gill: No, never thought about it. Never. No. Yeah. Not at all. Megan Gill: Okay. This is also interesting though, because your mom is first generation in the US? Dona Gill: Correct. Megan Gill: Okay. So I wonder just like how much that impact also had on like her upbringing. Dona Gill: Right, because I don’t think their upbringing was body image. Their upbringing was survive. Survive. What do we eat? Can you get anything to wear? Just survive. Not how you look. Megan Gill: Yeah. Dona Gill: And then they brought that to us, really. Yeah, really, I had no clue on body image. Megan Gill: Can you pinpoint a time, ev

    25 min
  4. 12/23/2025

    Continued Conversations with Amy Geist

    Everyone please welcome Amy Geist to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Amy Geist and I met on the set of a music video almost ten years ago. We’ve since produced multiple projects together and have both created short films with themes of body image. Amy is a powerhouse filmmaker and a wonderful human being, and she opens up so beautifully in our conversation about incredibly important topics. In our conversation, we discuss… * Amy’s short film, “Dysmorphia” and how it’s impacted her body image journey along with others * A peek into Amy’s body image origin story * Generational body image cycles * The mental gymnastics it takes to audition for GLP-1 commercials * Disconnecting from a deep-shame response when someone sees our body in a certain way * The nuance of your physical body being tied to your livelihood * Changing bodies isn’t supposed to be scary * Compassionately changing the narrative when others put their own bodies down - “it doesn’t have to be that way” * Stepping away from a triggering industry to heal It was a pleasure to sit down and chat with Amy. She’s hilarious and also has such an important perspective. I know I was changed from our conversation, so I cannot wait for you to hear it! “I guess I also don’t have any ill will towards our mothers who sort of unintentionally were doing the best that they could as well in just a f****d up system, you know? Don’t hate the player, hate the patriarchy, you know? Those messages are so just ingrained and can so easily be absorbed by things that – you know, talking about diet culture and sort of orthorexia part of diet culture that pops up and is disguised as health, and so, it’s like, you know, just so many different ways for this messaging to get ingrained in little ones and by, you know, no fault of a parent. But it is, I feel in my experience and in my family, I think the way that it got to me was very much, you know, passed down through different generations and growing up in the nineties and Slim Fast.” - Amy Geist Megan Gill: ​Amy, thank you for having this conversation with me today. I am excited to chat. Amy Geist: Oh, Megan, thank you for asking me. Megan Gill: Absolutely. Amy Geist: I’m excited to chat with you too. Megan Gill: Do you wanna just start by introducing yourself and a little bit about the work that you do in the world? Amy Geist: Oh, sure. My name is Amy Geist and the work I do in the world is a producer and a writer/director of film and commercial. And then I’m also a burgeoning standup comedian as well over the past couple of years. and yeah, I work with a lot of indie filmmakers, new filmmakers, female filmmakers. Those are kind of my favorite people to work with. Yeah. Megan Gill: You’ve also created quite a few of your own projects as well. Amy Geist: Oh, thank you for reminding me. Yes, Megan. I wrote and directed a short film called Dysmorphia, which is a horror film, and around the themes that we’re gonna talk about, of body image and relationship with body and self and beauty standards and how sometimes those are inherited from our moms and from their moms. And I’ve also, as a producer, I guess, a writer and director, have produced a couple of, I guess, series weekends. One was called Fuse, where we had different female writer/directors and shot their films over five day, and they got to use those projects to be their calling card for projects and for to grow into a filmmaker, and a couple of them, one of them got into Sundance, one of them got into Tribeca, and that was kind of one of my favorite experiences as a producer in film. And then I did the weekend Collision Film Initiative, which we did together, where we got to film. Again, female filmmakers coming together to make four short films in a weekend. And those films are making their way through the film festival circuit as well, and giving people a chance to just try out their voice, get to know their voice more as an artist. And now we have these awesome, I guess, calling cards as well for ourselves. I think those are the things I did. Megan Gill: Yeah, thanks for sharing about them. Amy Geist: Yeah. Thanks for reminding me. Megan Gill: Absolutely! Well, it’s cool because you and I met in Chicago, I was thinking about it, almost 10 years ago. Amy Geist: Oh, wow. Megan Gill: Which is crazy Amy Geist: On a music video. Megan Gill: On a music video, which was actually one of my favorite projects even still to date. Amy Geist: It was a lot of fun. Megan Gill: Yeah, it was so unique and just a different acting experience for me at the time – Amy Geist: Yeah. Megan Gill: – that really impacted how I viewed film work. Amy Geist: Yeah. Megan Gill: And I feel it was an impetus for wanting to do more film work, but then you and I had reconnected because you moved to LA and then I moved to LA, and we reconnected here I wanna say about the time that you were in readings, doing table reads for your short film that you made about body image. Amy Geist: Yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. Megan Gill: Right. I feel that’s where we kind of reconnected. And then our story, you and I, you shot your film and then I shortly shot my film A Broadway Body, which you helped me produce, and introduced me to what it is to create your own short film. Amy Geist: Yes, yes. Megan Gill: And both of these pieces were centering around body image themes, which I think is really cool. Now, looking back in hindsight. And it’s interesting that these worlds kind of brought us back together here in Los Angeles. Amy Geist: I know, right? Megan Gill: Yeah. Amy Geist: That’s something that I am – I have a joke about that in one of my sets of like, yeah, I waited till LA to go into recovery for an eating disorder. You know, because I a challenge. I don’t wanna make it too easy. So why not go to the one place that makes it hardest to accept yourself. Megan Gill: Throw yourself to the fire. Amy Geist: Yeah, just give it a shot. Yeah. duh. Of course we worked together on A Broadway Body. I gotta get better talking about my – Megan Gill: Oh my god, no, you’re perfectly fine. You do so many things I was even perusing your website just obviously so impressed by all the different things you’re doing and all the different projects you’re working on and how your hands are in all these different creative pots. But yeah, I just thought it was interesting this timeline of – sorry, not to jump in, but this timeline of when we’d met around 10 years ago, I know, at least for me, I was kind of in the throes of my unhealthy relationship to my body and my self-image, and then moving to LA, kind of where you were starting to go with it, and creating this work that’s centered around trying to heal those parts of myself and trying to heal my relationship to my body, and then also being involved in a project where you had written the story around body dysmorphia and those types of themes with how toxic the beauty industry can be. And then now a couple years removed from that, just sitting back, I just think that there’s something really powerful about that. Amy Geist: Well yeah, I think something that’s cool about the juxtaposition of our projects is just that there’s so much to say around this subject because our films could not be more different, you know? So it’s like, which I think just as a credit to A, our, our different voices as, as artists and filmmakers, and B, how many different angles and points of view you can have on the same subject because it affects just so many people so many women. Megan Gill: Yeah, absolutely 100%. And I think it’s interesting that you chose the theme of horror because Dysmorphia is a horror film. It’s incredible, by the way. I was revisiting parts of it before our conversation. And yeah, some of it is hard, like, going back to it, I was resistant to it. I didn’t wanna watch it. I’m like, ugh, I know this is difficult to watch. So I’m curious how – because I know it was really important to you to talk about these themes in the horror setting, so I’m curious to hear you speak a little bit more on that and how that maybe helps you navigate the topics or helped you find your voice within how you wanted to say what you wanted to say. Yeah. Anything that comes up for you. Amy Geist: Yeah. I mean, I think, I am myself a horror fan. I always have loved horror and I’ve always, in college I used to write plays and you got to put them on in college for free. And it did not set us up for the realistic experience of making those outside of college. But you got to do it for free. And so you were able to do all this weird stuff, and I had a reputation of like, “Oh, Amy’s weird to put up another weird thing,” because it was just, I think always more interesting to me, to explore from a visceral and what I felt was an honest, more of a place where people could interpret and take away what they wanted from what was going on. And I think what I liked about horror as a genre for this project in particular was because one of the reasons that I wanted to do it was, you know, going through an eating disorder for 20 years and from when I was 15 to 34 and just the different – the actual experience, the visceral experience of being in it when it was most active and the process of recovery, and never really seeing something in media that reflected that experience of my personal experience of what that was like, of only really ever seeing the Lifetime movies that are very like, “Oh, she stopped eating, but then we took her to the hospital. Now she’s okay,” and just very simplified and sanitized of these struggles and always making it the focus about the pathology of the disorder rather than kind of like, how do we get here? And so, yeah, that seemed a really good opportunity for Dysmorphia, to really talk about the first person, to encapsulate, I guess, the first-person experience of going through so

    46 min
  5. 12/09/2025

    Continued Conversations with Destiny Allen

    Everyone please welcome my sweet friend Destiny Allen to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Destiny and I have known each other for a few years now (spoiler alert: she’s dating two of my besties), and being an expert in the field of bridal fashion, I was so excited she agreed to have a conversation with me. Destiny is making waves in the way she shows up as a bridal consultant. She works at LOHO, which literally stands for League Of Her Own, and she also has big plans of opening her own shop one day that caters to all types of people who are getting married. (Bridal suits? Yes, please!). I know that what Destiny creates is going to be much needed in our world, and I can’t wait to see the incredible lives she continues to impact! In our conversation, we discuss… * How empowering brides despite their preconceived notions about their bodies helps Destiny to connect to her own body image in a helpful way * Shutting down body shaming in bridal appointments * Your wedding dress needs to fit you - not the other way around * Her goals of opening her own shop that provides bridal suits to the queer community * Wearing clothes that reflect our personal style * The origins of Destiny’s body image story and dealing with body image bullies * Reminding yourself how incredible your body is, first and foremost * Finding the hope in the intersection of young people, body image, and social media I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation! “ I think that’s the beauty of fashion and why I fell in love with it too is because find pieces that make me feel confident, and I’ve stopped trying to fit into this box of what people think I should be wearing. I’ve moved past that, and now I’ve truly found myself. I’m also like, “Oh, if I don’t feel good wearing dresses and skirts, I don’t have to wear them.” I can wear what I want. That makes me feel the best in my body.” - Destiny Allen Megan Gill: Hi Destiny! Destiny Allen: Hi! Megan Gill: I’m so excited that you are here having this conversation with me today. Thank you for joining me! Destiny Allen: Yes, of course. I’m excited! Megan Gill: So do you wanna start by just introducing yourself, who you are, and a little bit about the work that you do in the world? Destiny Allen: Yeah, so my name is Destiny. I’m a bridal stylist, so I’ve been styling brides for about nine years now. So it’s been a minute since I’ve been in that area. And by styling, I mean finding dresses for the brides, because I feel people hear styling and they think I do hair and makeup, and I’m like, absolutely not. So just the actual fashion of it. So that’s kind of what I do. Megan Gill: Very cool. And also I can only imagine how that ties into what we’re here to talk about today, which is the overarching theme of body image, because I have never been married myself, but I have ideas in my head and have experienced being around my friends on their wedding day, and your dress is a big, important piece of the puzzle of feeling really good about yourself and being in your body on this big, exciting day where you are on display in front of so many people, friends and family, and you really just wanna be able to, I can imagine, feel your best so that you can not be in your head and just be really present and enjoy your special day with your people and the person that you are getting married to. Destiny Allen: Yeah, definitely. So I feel like there’s a lot of pressure around having to change your body for your wedding day. There’s so much stress behind it. Every bride is like, “Oh, but I’m gonna lose 10+ pounds and I’m gonna be this and this,” and I’m like, “You do not have to do that.” I think my biggest thing in bridal when I hear someone say, “Oh, this would look good if I lost this much weight,” I tell them that that is not their dress because they need to feel beautiful in the dress the way they are at this moment. So I think that’s huge. I don’t wanna hear anyone say, “When I change my body, then it’ll look good.” Then it’s not the one. Megan Gill: Oh my gosh. I love that. Destiny Allen: There’s a lot of pressure with moms. That’s a big thing, the family dynamics. A lot of moms put the pressure for people to lose weight, which is crazy to hear because my mom is the most supportive person. So it’s so bizarre to hear a mom say, “Oh, when she loses weight, it’ll look better.” It’s a crazy thing. It’s mind blowing. So, yeah, I feel I’m also a little bit of a therapist as well, because I wanna make sure the energy’s good. So I feel there’s a role where I have to protect my bride at the same time as styling them. Megan Gill: Yeah. Yeah. Which is, I think, what sets somebody like you apart from just maybe the average stylist and having that awareness going into – is it called a bridal session or the bridal appointment where they’re trying on the dresses? It’s an appointment? Destiny Allen: Yes. Megan Gill: Okay. Can you tell I’ve never been down this road before? Destiny Allen: That’s okay. That’s okay! Megan Gill: But I would want to have somebody like you working with me, but I can only imagine, especially in Los Angeles, the amount of mother-daughter dynamics that come through. And I just wanna point out that it’s really amazing that you are showing up the way you are and that that is so top of mind for you. I know when I approached you about having this conversation, that was something that you shared with me, and it’s just so important because you’re helping to break those generational cycles. Even if a mom wants to say that, you chiming in or offering your perspective on it to the bride or whatever it may be, could really change the trajectory of someone’s thought process about their daughter’s body or about their own body, honestly. Because right, it’s this concept of I need to, whether it’s lose 10 pounds or do X or do Y to be happy, at least I believe is never going to give us true happiness, right? We have to accept where we are and work to find the joy in where we are right now. Destiny Allen: Yes, very much so. I think I love just being that voice for these brides because none of their friends or family are saying that to them. They’re just kind of being like, “Oh, yeah wear undergarments,” or, “When you do lose 10 pounds…” you know? It’s such a f****d up thing. And I’m like, “No, no, no, no. You are perfect the way you are right now, and you have to feel confident in what you’re wearing. So this is not your dress. We’re gonna move on and find the one that makes you feel that way.” But yeah, I don’t know. I’ve been in bridal for so long, and I think so many people have said negative things about me and my body that I think it’s so inspiring for me to flip that and be the person that is empowering for people to feel beautiful in their own skin because I’ve had so many people try to put me down. I wanna do the opposite for brides and just women in general. Megan Gill: Yeah, which is incredible and I feel that’s one of the many ways that we can take the adversities we face or, you know, the tough situations with whoever’s telling us these things, because I’ve been there too, and flip it around to change the narrative and to help other people see that there is a different way to view these things. Destiny Allen: Yeah, absolutely. Megan Gill: Yeah, and also just thinking about the piece of you guiding the brides who are feeling like, “Oh, well this dress would be perfect if I lost 10 pounds,” or whatever it may be, guiding them to understand that, no, then that dress isn’t for you because it doesn’t fit you in a way that makes you feel good, and then finding the dress that does fit you well as you are today is such an important concept for women dressing themselves say-to-day as well. I think that is something that I think a lot of women get hung up on, myself included. The understanding that the clothes are supposed to fit us. We are not supposed to fit this garment that we think we need to fit into for XYZ reason. Destiny Allen: Yeah, exactly. I think that’s the beauty of fashion and why I fell in love with it too, is because I find pieces that make me feel confident, and I’ve stopped trying to fit into this box of what people think I should be wearing. I’ve moved past that and now I’ve truly found myself. I’m also like, oh, if I don’t feel good wearing dresses and skirts, I don’t have to wear them. I can wear what I want that makes me feel the best in my body. So that’s why I do bridal. And sometimes I have days where I’m like, “Why do I do this?” Because you get so many different energies in the store, and sometimes it’s crazy. But I get the brides where I’m like, “This is why I do this.” Because, you know, I think my favorite thing is when a bride comes in super insecure, super nervous, super shy, and then by the end of the appointment, she’s crying because of how beautiful she feels. And she’s thanking me for the experience and I’m like, okay, this is why I do it. Because she came in so nervous about who she is and dresses and not being able to find something that she likes because of body issues, and then I’m able to help her – it’s a journey – flip it. So I think that’s why I love it so much. I mean, like I said, I have moments, but it’s really just to get women to feel beautiful within their own skin. Megan Gill: Which is really transformational because then hopefully that woman that you impacted in that way is able to then walk into dressing rooms on her own and maybe feel a little bit more confident or have more of an understanding of the types of garments to look for that she’s attracted to, that she wants to wear, that are calling to her. Destiny Allen: Yeah, I mean, we all have our things about our bodies, and I think that’s very normal. I always have thoughts b

    40 min
  6. 11/25/2025

    Continued Conversations with Liz J

    Everyone please welcome Liz J to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Liz and I were a part of the same university program, so we’ve known each other for quite some time now. I was so excited to bring Liz in for a conversation about body image. Liz pulled back the curtain on being raised in a musical theatre world and discussed how the beauty and body standards of Broadway impacted her as a teen and into adulthood. She talks about her relationship to dance, body modifications, and bodily agency. This was such an impactful conversation for me to be a part of, and I cannot wait for you to hear it! In our conversation, we discuss… * When Liz first started using the phrase “A Broadway Body” * Richard Simmons Tapes - seeing people in different sizes of bodies dancing for fun * The impact of the wild ideologies preached to us in musical theatre * Pursuing what body modifications work for you and respecting others’ bodily agency * Our thoughts on plastic surgery, aging, body modifications * Art about the beauty standards, overconsumption, body image, and more Resources Liz speaks on in our conversation: * Books: * Girl on Girl * The Manicurist’s Daughter * Films: * The Substance * Dumplings * Helter Skelter * Death Becomes Her “ I’m thinking about just the experience of the contrast of being a high schooler with a BFA problems Twitter account to then being a college student getting a BFA, I guess I don’t necessarily want to rehash all the wild feedback that a lot of us got in our program, but a lot of us were getting wild feedback that reinforced these ideas that you need to look a certain way to perform and you need to look a certain way to be even worthy of being seen on stage. I didn’t realize that I was thinking about things in those terms until after college.” - Liz J Megan Gill: Hi, Liz! Liz J: Hey, Megan! Megan Gill: I’m so excited that you’re here today and that we get to chat! Liz J: Oh, I’m so excited to be here. Yeah, thanks for having me! Megan Gill: Absolutely! Do you wanna just start by introducing yourself and a little bit about the work that you do in the world? Liz J: Sure, so I’m Liz J. So Megan and I went to college together. We were in the musical theater world. Megan Gill: We were. Liz J: So I have that background and I still very much consider myself a creative person and do a lot of creative work, but I’m not really doing it for money. And I kind of like that setup right now. I have a normal-person job working at a law firm. So I’m mostly making trainings for new attorneys, and it’s a really great job in a lot of ways. And I still am able to be creative. For example, I’m working on a training right now that I get to design puppets for it. That’s crazy. In what world are puppets at a law firm. But I have a really cool team that I work with, and I feel they see what I’m interested in and take interest in the things that I’m interested in and are very open-minded about what my role can look like. Yeah, I just am lucky to work with people who are also creative. So, outside job-job, I also do puppetry and I make solo music and I’m in a choir and I make visual art and I write, and I wrote a musical with one of my best friends. Yeah. Megan Gill: Whoa. Tell me more if you can. Liz J: I mean it’s a really silly and campy musical, and we wrote the first draft in 2019, which is kind of wild to say because that is now a long time ago. But yeah, we had performance dates set for 2020, and then 2020 happened. So obviously we had to take a step back. And yeah, we weren’t sure when it would be a good time to do an in-person show again. So we kind of put it aside for a while. And then last year we brought it back up and we started working on it again, and we started working on it with Garrett Welch he’s helping us arrange the music, so… Megan Gill: Cool. Liz J: Hopefully gonna be producing it soon. It’s been a long journey, but that’s okay. Megan Gill: Totally okay. This is so exciting, and I’m so excited to hear that you’ve stuck with it this long. Liz J: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it’s not been consistent this whole time. we’ve kind of put it to the side for good chunks of time, but I think that’s also been good for it, you know? We can live life, do other creative projects, and then we kept wanting to revisit it, which I think says something the fact that we wanted to complete this project. Megan Gill: Yeah. Agreed. I think that’s beautiful and lovely. It’s had time to breathe. It’s ready. Liz J: Yeah, word. Exactly. Megan Gill: Yeah. Okay, cool. I love that. Thanks for sharing all of that stuff. So yeah, we had crossover years at the same college program together. We weren’t in the same year, but whatever. It doesn’t matter because we were still in a lot of the same classes and we were still performing together and in dance together and probably even in scene study at some point. Yeah. Liz J: Shows, yeah. Megan Gill: Yes. Shows together, all of that good stuff. So that’s how we met. That’s our origin story. And I think that we met at this time where I was in a very different place in terms of relationship to my body. So I’m curious to hear a bit of your body image story and how your evolution as an actor and a creative and just a human being in general has influenced that. Liz J: Yeah, so I mean, like I think a lot of young performers, I got bit by the bug early and was really, really passionate about it and really striving, I guess might be the word. I basically from the first time I did a musical in middle school, I just really wanted to do whatever it took to keep doing that. Let’s see. I’m trying to think how exactly to really phrase this. I really wanted to pursue musical theater really hard, and when I was in high school, I was in a bunch of dance classes and I felt I was kind of playing catch-up because I hadn’t been dancing my entire life. And I think a lot of girls who were raised in the nineties, got a lot of wild feedback about what it meant to – as you’re growing up, what you should look like and what kind of body you’re taught is desirable. So that’s the air we’re breathing, at that time. It was very much a present – it was just incredibly on my mind throughout high school and into college. Thinking about my body is part of this package. It’s kind of stunning thinking about myself being a teenager, having these thoughts like, “Ooh, I am something to market.” But it really – the teachers that I listened to, their messaging really stuck with me that I was just very much thinking of myself as a commodity from this tender age. And yeah, when I got to college, it was a lot of also similar messaging. Megan, I’m honestly, I’m thinking about just wild, wild shit that I thought in high school because I’m like it really was – I don’t wanna get on here and trauma dump. That’s not it. I’m not – I don’t wanna be like, “Here are all these crazy things that were said,” but I do wanna demonstrate, like, okay, it really was so present. I had all these friends that I was doing theater with in high school, and we had a satirical Twitter account called “BFA Problems.” We were high schoolers. We were not pursuing a BFA, but it was like we had a Twitter account and the icon was a LaDuca and we were just tweeting all this stuff about, about literally saying the phrase “Broadway body” in Tweets as high schoolers, you know? I’m 15, and we were deep in it. And one of my other very good friends who also went on to go to college for musical theater, he and I would do P90X in the morning. Megan Gill: In high school. Liz J: We were 16! That’s wild. You know? And so, it was just on my mind from an early – it’s early. That is an early age. That’s kind of wild thinking about a teenager thinking of – yeah. Megan Gill: Hyper-fixating on bodies in this way. Yeah, agreed. Liz J: Yeah. Megan Gill: Agreed because as kids we’re so active, and a lot of kids play a sport or maybe have an afterschool activity. And so we do these things and there’s a long time of your childhood where you don’t even think twice about how much you’re moving your body. And then there comes a point, and for me it was high school as well, where I realized, “Oh, you mean I can move my body in this certain type of way or this much, and it can then look potentially a different way than it does now? And I don’t what I look like right now because all these messages tell me I shouldn’t look what I look right now.” It’s that moment that forever changes you. And I feel when that moment happens so early, even in high school, when our brains are not developed yet, it really can mess with your psyche. Yeah. Liz J: Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it was it is pretty stunning. I don’t know. I’m just thinking about how I had a childhood doctor say, “Hey, your kid should play a sport.” And so, I started doing swim team, and that’s also a tough sport. Megan Gill: I’m sorry, I’m smiling because I also did swim team in high school. Liz J: Wait, yes! I remember this! Megan Gill: So I feel you! Liz J: Yeah. I keep saying it was just in the air, but it was I’m thinking about being on swim team and then later going to the dressing room at Hollister and Abercrombie and you know always having an idea of which size you are and wondering – literally talking to friends about what size jean they wear. Megan Gill: This is stuff that’s very fascinating actually, because I think a lot of these high-school conversations that we – I think a lot of us had very, very similar conversations. Or for instance, just the fact that we were both on a swim team where not only are you in a bathing suit in front of spectators, your whole team, but also that’s where I realized, “Oh, I can lift weights and move my body this much and maybe lose some weight because society’s telling me that my body is not good the

    43 min
  7. 11/11/2025

    Continued Conversations with Christine Dickinson

    Everyone please welcome my friend and fellow actor, writer, producer, Christine Dickinson, to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Christine is an actor, a writer, and a producer, and I met in our acting class at Crash Acting a few years ago. She very recently debuted her one-woman play “Mother” in Los Angeles, CA, and the show was phenomenal. We’d had this conversation before I saw it, and I will say that many topics of convo that Christine brought to the fore were beautifully touched on in her show. In our conversation, we discuss… * Breaking the generational trauma cycle (with body image and more broadly) * The debut of her one-woman, one-act show “Mother” and what inspired her to write the play * How rehearsing her play brought her body image story front and center * The conscious permission it takes to write about topics we don’t necessarily feel “qualified enough” to speak on * The comment her play makes about the impacts of social media on today’s culture * Navigating our feelings around our bodies * Her body image story - from being praised for being thin and invalidated in her feelings about her body, to uncovering a body image story through the rehearsal of her play Christine so openly shared her body image story with me, and her vulnerability to speak on these topics she’s just recently started to face head on is beautiful. Her thoughts on generational trauma and the impacts of social media on our individual body image are powerful, and I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation! “I think a lot of comparison is what comes up in the play, kind of in a subtle way. But there are a lot of different videos in the video sequences that you see that indicate that my character is doing girlhood or womanhood incorrectly. So you have one person saying, “Hey, if your body is larger, that’s bad, and you should fix that.” And then another person, “If your body is smaller, that’s also bad and you should fix that.” And then, “Oh, you should be dainty and feminine and always keep a groomed appearance.” And then like, “No, f**k that!” And then, you know, all of these different, you know, expectations about what we should and shouldn’t use our bodies for. And yeah, then there’s, you know, the whole topic of what happens to your body during pregnancy. That’s something that’s explored in one of the video series as well.” - Christine Dickinson Megan Gill: Hi, Christine! I’m so excited to talk with you, and I’m just so glad that you’re here. Christine Dickinson: Hi! Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited. I’m a big fan. I’m a big Megan fan. Megan Gill: Hey, I’m a big fan of you! Do you wanna just start by introducing yourself and introducing your work in the world? Christine Dickinson: Yes, I’m Christine Dickinson and I am an actor, playwright, and new producer. And right now, I am producing my first original work called Mother, which will be a workshop production of my one-woman show. Megan Gill: Which is just so exciting because, at the time of recording this, you are premiering this piece to the world in just a couple of days! Christine Dickinson: Yep. Yep! Megan Gill: How do you feel? Christine Dickinson: I think, more than anything, excited but also terrified. So I would say it’s probably equal parts both. This has been something that’s been marinating for me for a couple of years. A few years ago, I wanted to write a screenplay of this kind of a thing, and now it’s kind of evolved into a play and, you know, that’s a little bit more my realm anyway than film. So I’m definitely excited to share the story in a medium that I have been working in for so long. But scary because I’ve never really put my own voice out there like this before. So I would say it’s a little bit of both. Megan Gill: Oof, I just got chills. That is so, so totally fair. Okay, so the premise of your story is, “In this comedy thriller play, a daughter faces the cost of being a woman in a modern world where her mother isn’t answering her calls.” Christine Dickinson: Yes. Megan Gill: Can you share a bit more about the premise in the story and kind of these themes of what it is to be a young woman today and how those themes are woven into the piece? Christine Dickinson: Yeah, absolutely. So the play opens when a daughter, my character, comes in from a long-haul flight, and the first call is, you know, just checking in with the mom like, “Hey, I got home,” that kind of thing. And it becomes pretty clear that something happened during the last moments that we saw each other, because I guess the idea is that we live on opposite sides of the country, and I no longer live near my mom. So the phone is really the only way that we can connect. So there’s this idea that something happened, and we’re not quite sure what happened, but there was some sort of tension between daughter and mother that was unresolved before the daughter left to get on a plane to go back home. So that’s where we start. And throughout the play, without giving too much of it away, we start to see this person’s life shake out kind of maybe how you would imagine it to with a lack of guidance or support. And many of the troubles, again, without getting too much into it, because it’s only 40 minutes. So I’m like, there’s not a ton that I could really tell about the plot that’s not a total spoiler. Megan Gill: Totally. No spoiler alerts! Christine Dickinson: I’m like, I just tell you the whole thing right now. “In scene six, this happens.” Megan Gill: I’m like, “No, I’m seeing the play this weekend!” And I’m so excited. I cannot wait! Christine Dickinson: Yes. Okay. I won’t spoil it for you. But, you know, it’s everything to do with the things that we have to face, particularly as women in a modern world, everything from pressures of how we look, pressures of how we are coming off (especially to people who have authority over us like employers), pressures of being equal parts girl boss and equal parts dainty, feminine. And then we kind of dive into this whole world of like, whoa, okay, these are modern lenses on these issues, but these are really issues that have existed for centuries. So we kind of go back and look at some ancestral stuff a little bit and some things that – like what happens when we experience traumatic things and we leave those traumatic things unchecked and we continue to reproduce, especially when it’s a woman giving birth to a daughter, and then she has a daughter, and then she has a daughter. And how those cycles kind of don’t break themselves unless somebody breaks it. Megan Gill: That is such an important thing to be talking about and something that I very much think our generation is all about looking at and uncovering and trying to get to the bottom of. So I just think it’s really beautiful and also quite relevant to probably what many women are unpacking today. Christine Dickinson: Hmm. Yeah. Thank you. What’s really interesting about writing this play was that I think we had actually had a conversation years ago because, when I saw your short, A Broadway Body, the screening of that, I felt really inspired. And I was like, “Oh, I’m writing something that’s kind of touching on something similar to this.” And I think we had a conversation about that because I was so inspired. I was like, “How did you sit down and write this?” I kind of felt like I abandoned that project for a while, but then I sat down, I think it was February, and I was, like, “Ooh, I’m really kind of feeling something right now.” And so, I just sat down without thinking of it being a play or anything. I think I just wrote a conversation or a one-ended phone conversation, like a voicemail, like so much of this play is a voicemail series. So I think I just wrote one. From there I was like, “Oh, this is kind of setting something off in me a little bit.” And then I stepped away from it for I think a couple weeks, and then I went back to it and I read it and I was like, “Oh, no, no, no. Something else happens after this.” And it just kind of one thing led to the next, to the next. I just, over the course of maybe two months, kept walking away and then coming back, and then it was just so abundantly clear what happens next in this person’s story. And I didn’t know how this play was going to end until I sat down and I wrote the final scene. And I think my fiancé, who was literally in the room. He came in, in the middle of me writing it, and he was like, “Hey, how was your –?” And I was like, “No. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on!” Megan Gill: “Zip it! Not now!” Christine Dickinson: Hold on one sec. Hold one second. And then da, da, da da, last line of the play. “Okay. Yes, it was fine. Um, take five and I’m gonna read you this.” So yeah, it just – like, I had no idea some elements of it, that were coming in, until literally I was writing it. It was as if something was kind of moving. It sounds silly when I say it, but it’s like something else was moving through me that was not my own narrative anymore, even though it felt like it started off that way. And even in the rehearsal of it, the reading of it, all of this, we had a dress rehearsal on Sunday, and even in that I’m like, “Oh, there are things that I’m discovering in this text that I was not aware that I was putting into it.” Yeah, so it’s been a really strange experience. So bizarre for me and foreign but cool. Megan Gill: Wow, that’s so cool and so magical. And how beautiful that you literally produced these words and these words came out of you, and yet you’re still finding so much in them and so much that you are discovering and didn’t know was coming out of you at the time. Are you familiar with Elizabeth Gilbert’s work? Christine Dickinson: Not super. Megan Gill: Okay. She wrote this book called Big Magic. When I

    41 min
  8. 10/28/2025

    Continued Conversations with Jennifer Ledesma

    Everyone please welcome Jennifer Ledesma to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Jennifer is an actor based in Chicago. She and I were auditioning in the Chicago theatrical market at the same time back in 2016-2018, and while we’d never booked the same show, we’d always see each other at auditions, in class, and in the community. (If you’re in the Chicagoland area, catch her in a show!) In our conversation, we discuss… * How prevalent it is for curvy and plus-size women to not be cast as the leading lady, love interest roles in musical theatre * Being told to switch majors (away from musical theatre) in college, yet being one of the only working actors from her class * The complexities of how our bodies and identities show up in the work that we do as actors * Destigmatizing the BFA * How Jennifer felt seeing a character breakdown that was meant for her, as a curvy, Latina actor * How the “F” in BFA ultimately doesn’t matter * Rediscovering the joy of dance through getting back into a movement practice that felt aligned for her and supportive of her strength and stamina goals * The juxtaposition of knowing what you want to change about yourself and not hyper-fixating on them and viewing them as imperfections * Embracing your curves instead of feeling shame for them Our bodies and identities are so complex. Jennifer reminds us that so much of who we are impacts the work we do as artists. We discussed so many important topics, and Jennifer shared some incredible perspectives on an array of body image-related topics. I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation! “ I think that just adds a whole other layer to the whole conversation that we’re having about body image and perspective, because I think that’s why I was also really powerful with seeing a show like “Real Women Have Curves” on Broadway. There’s not a lot of spaces were we’re celebrating plus-size women of color, specifically Latina plus-size women, in the industry, and just a specific space for that. It’s such an indescribable feeling, but I would love to see more shows like that representative of those communities and inviting in what makes us special or what makes us unique and inviting us to embrace all those “imperfections” rather than excluding us from an industry in spite of them.” - Jennifer Ledesma Megan Gill: Hi, Jennifer. Thanks for being with me today! Jennifer Ledesma: Hi, Megan. I’m so excited that we’re finally doing this! Megan Gill: Me too. I can’t wait to chat! Do you wanna just start by introducing yourself and then sharing a little bit about who you are in the work that you do in the world? Jennifer Ledesma: Yeah my name’s Jennifer Ledesma. My pronouns are she/her. I grew up in Southern California, around the Anaheim, Disneyland area, but now I live in Chicago. I got my Bachelor of Arts degree in Musical Theater, and that’s primarily what I do. I primarily focus on stage acting in the musical theater world. When I was younger, I was training both as a vocalist and as a dancer separately, and it wasn’t until high school, where I was kind of trying to decide which route I wanted to go as a performer, when I went off for college. And then I found theater very late in high school. But that just kind of seemed like, you know, the best place to combine my passions for both. And then I also play a few instruments. So yeah, and then I ended up moving out here to Chicago for school. And I’m very thankful for that because I probably never would’ve considered Chicago as a place to pursue theater. But I fell in love with it, and I’ve been here ever since. So I’ve been here for over ten years now, which is kind of crazy to think about. But yeah, I mostly do musical theater, but what I love about Chicago is that I feel it’s really easy to pursue different ventures of the performing arts. So, you know, still performing in film, TV, commercial work. I feel Chicago’s really encouraging of new work too. So a lot of work that I booked coming out of school was a lot of new work. So yeah, that’s a little bit about me in a nutshell. Megan Gill: I love that, and that’s where we met. We met in Chicago in the theater world. It is such a lovely community and a special, special place to be an artist and to be a creative. Jennifer Ledesma: Yeah, and I feel with you and me, we’ve never worked together, but I feel we always ran into each other at auditions, and it was always so nice to see a friendly face. And I think that’s something that you really get the sense of in the Chicago theatre community. I feel everyone’s really, you know, advocating for each other as much as possible. Megan Gill: I agree. It’s very unique and very lovely, and I miss it! So, in light of what we’re here to chat about today, I’m wondering how your relationship to your body and body image influences how you show up as a performer in auditions, onstage, in these communal spaces. Jennifer Ledesma: Yeah, I feel that’s such a loaded question and a very complex question to think about, and that’s why I’m so glad that we’re having this conversation. You know, I spoke a little bit about my background. My primary art when I was a kid is I started taking dance classes at the age of five because I have asthma, so my mom wanted me to do something active that wasn’t sports related, so I wouldn’t be out with dirt or whatever. And so I’ve been a dancer from age five through now. And my relationship to my body as a dancer has always been really interesting because I don’t have a typical dancer body. I am a curvy Latino woman. My boobs came in way earlier than a lot of my other friends when I was growing up. And, you know, I would always hear comments when I was preparing for dance recitals of – you know, when they would be fitting costumes on me, and they would make jokes of, like, “Oh, you’re just, you know, a little bit more well-endowed than the other girls.” And you know, it was always light fun, but I think I was definitely conscious about it, and I feel like that definitely probably also had an influence on me knowing that if I did pursue dance over being a vocalist when I was a kid, I knew that I was gonna have a really hard time doing that as an adult just because I didn’t have a dancer body. And I think it has definitely transferred in my life as an actor now. It’s hard because, you know, I feel, even with my family, my mom is my biggest cheerleader. She’s the most supportive person, but she’s also very conscious about it as well. And I think when I was growing up, she would try to make comments of, “Oh, I’m just trying to make these comments to protect you because I want you to succeed,” which I understand her perspective, but it’s hard because, you know, when you hear your own mother, making comments about your body and that kind of thing. And I think as a musical theater artist, there are definitely times when I do ask myself would I be considered for certain roles if I didn’t look the way that I did? And I even had this conversation with my agent when he and I have sat down and had check-ins of, “Okay, what’s working? What’s not working?” Because there came a point in my career about a year ago where, you know, I was getting auditions but I wasn’t getting callbacks, or I was getting callbacks but I wasn’t booking the job, or my agent was submitting me for things and we weren’t getting auditions. So part of me wondered because I’ve always gotten comments from people throughout my career here in Chicago. You know, I started off doing a lot of ensemble work and have kind of worked my way up getting more supporting, leading roles. And I’ll always encounter people who are like, “I didn’t know you could sing like that. Why haven’t we heard you sing more?” And I’ve always kind of wondered would I book more leading lady-type work if I didn’t look the way that I did, you know, if I wasn’t a curvy woman. Because I feel like, especially the musical theater industry, can lend itself really heavily into stereotypes. So being a curvier girl, I feel I’m always pushed towards the best friend type or the comedic type or, god forbid, I’ve been called in for so many, grandma, 40-year-old, 50-year-old-woman tracks, which even in college, they prepped me for that, which is just – it really can do a psyche on yourself because it’s like, “No, I know I’m a 20, 30-year-old woman, and I know I can sing these roles, so it’s disappointing that I’m not being given the chance just because I don’t fit a certain mold. And so, going back to your question in terms of how I show up, I feel I try not to let it push me down in terms of what I want to go out for. But it’s hard because sometimes I feel like if I’m self-submitting myself for something, I question, okay, do I want to submit myself for the role I think I have the better chance of booking or the better chance of getting an audition for, or do I want to submit for the character that I resonate more with or that I know I could do really well? I have a pretty wide range as a vocalist. And I have a very upper-soprano register of my voice that my voice teacher is very supportive with. And he’s always like, “I want more people to hear this lovely part of your voice.” But, you know, as a plus-size woman, I just – you know you don’t see a lot of plus-sized women play the Lauries in Oklahoma or the golden age girls. So, and even Gentleman’s Guide, the love interest. And, you know, going back to the whole comment I made about how it can have an influence on your psyche, it’s like yeah, curvy girls never get to play the love interest or it’s not seen as the norm in musical theater. And it’s just disappointing because in real life we have love interests! We have blooming love lives! Megan Gill: Yes, absolutely. It is so disappointing and so disheartening, and so, it’s inter

    43 min

About

A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations is a safe space for people to come to learn about how to cultivate a healthy body image. This is a place where questions will be asked, topics will be explored, and conversations will be had. I do not have the answers myself. Through the Continued Conversations Series overarching goal is to continually bring guests into this space to speak about their expertise in their fields to bring us closer to collective understanding. While this space is geared towards performers, all walks of life are welcome! My intention is to share information that could help anyone struggling with relating to their self-image, and I plan to bring on guests outside of the performance space as well. Hit “subscribe now” to get notified when I share a post. There is an option to join a paid plan for $8/month or $60/year - beginning May 2025, this plan will be where I share the Continued Conversations Series with my guests. You’ll also gain instant access to our community where you can comment on posts and engage with our A Broadway Body community! Email me at themegangill@gmail.com with any topics or questions you’d like me to dive into, if you have a suggestion for a guest you’d like to hear from, or if you would like to be interviewed for the blog yourself! Subscribe to the newsletter on Substack and remember to sign up for a paid plan if you’d like to receive the Continued Conversations Series + join our community starting May 2025! ---------- Disclaimer: While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers. themegangill.substack.com