I just listened and babaaay. Wow. I heard you and feel you completely. A couple things…
You hit me when you said, “life is so much better with a community”. I too hate the feeling that I have to strive everyday to be in a better state mentally, because it’s exhausting. The only thing that takes that exhaustion down some, is when I get around my own community and reach out to them because being in my own head when I’m swinging and missing is not really helpful for me. And I stopped looking for solutions. Not all the time, but sometimes, I think life’s answers are in the community and the presence of the people that love us so I look to them instead, call somebody and we start reminiscing, laughing, or they might be giving my advice they didn’t even know I needed and next thing u know, I’m feeling better. Not healed and perfect but simply feeling better and in a better state of mind to finish my 24hrs . I’ve always felt like our bodies are the same as our mind. The first day you get a cold and drink tea and take medicine, you’re not perfect the next day, u probably are still sick and you might not even feel better. Might feel worse. That’s where you said, “as long as you’re moving forward” thats really all u can do sometimes, and give yourself time.
I saw a post on IG about two months ago that shifted my perspective on self help. It said don’t strive for happiness, strive for peace. And I thought about how in the wake of trying to self-teach and self-medicate, I’ve always felt that I’m either going to be happy or sad and those are the feelings I have to choose from. But, I can also just choose to strive for the middleman and if something makes my day or I find something hilarious then at that point the meter goes up and I’m genuinely happy in that moment.
Love the message, it’s real and it’s honest and that’s what we need.
