Above Average

Lorissa and Alex

Welcome to Above Average. For the women who want the career, the family, the marriage, AND the personal goals... ...and are tired of being told that wanting it all means failing at all of it. We're having the candid conversations no one else is having about what it takes, what's working, and what we're still figuring out. Because being a high achiever doesn't mean you have it all figured out. It means you never settle. Hosted by Alex Payetta and Lorissa Violet

  1. Motherhood Isn't the Hardest Job in the World | The Filter That Changes How You See Everything Hard

    -2 дн. ·  Бонусный контент

    Motherhood Isn't the Hardest Job in the World | The Filter That Changes How You See Everything Hard

    Somewhere along the way, "this is hard" became the highest compliment we paid motherhood. Lorissa and Alex get into why hard-versus-easy is the wrong filter entirely, what they would put in its place, and why calling motherhood the hardest job in the world might be doing moms more harm than good. What We Cover → The filter Alex uses instead of hard-versus-easy, and why it changes how you see almost every decision → Why Lorissa won't call motherhood the hardest job in the world, and the reframe she uses instead → The thing a first-time mom said to Lorissa in a group that she still thinks about years later → The pushback against discipline, and why Alex isn’t buying it Know it's worth it and still not getting to it? You can decide something's worth doing and want to do it, but still watch it get buried under all of the other million things you have going on. The first step is getting a handle on your mental load. Get it all out of your head and into a system that helps you prioritize and know what’s getting done, when. Alex made a free training that breaks down exactly how she manages the mental load. 👉 go.alexpayetta.com/training Lorissa's List Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search. 👉 lorissaviolet.com Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Timestamps 0:00 Catching up, and the reel that sparked it all 0:48 Why hard-versus-easy is the wrong filter 1:35 "I don't think motherhood is the hardest job in the world" 3:06 The blanket comparisons we use to validate moms, and why they don't hold up 7:18 The comparison trap, and the benefit lens that breaks it 7:51 Why your hardest moments are also your most rewarding ones 10:34 The mom group, the emergency vet, and saying the unpopular thing 14:11 The pushback against discipline neither of them is buying 15:20 When looking for things to be mad about becomes the whole problem

    17 мин.
  2. 50+ Flights Before Age 4 | Travel After Kids, the Packing Systems, and the Trip You Keep Putting Off, with Amanda Kellner Klein

    22 июн.

    50+ Flights Before Age 4 | Travel After Kids, the Packing Systems, and the Trip You Keep Putting Off, with Amanda Kellner Klein

    You used to be the person who would book the flight without thinking twice. Then you had kids, and the part of you that loved to go somewhere got packed away with everything else, and you started to wonder if it was gone for good. Amanda Kellner Klein decided it wasn't. She's a brand partnerships exec, she writes about traveling after kids on her Substack, and her almost-four-year-old already has more than 50 flights to her name. She came on to talk about how you hold onto the parts of yourself that matter once the kids arrive, with all the real logistics, the trade-offs, and one airplane story you have to hear to believe. What You'll Learn → The travel muscle that makes a trip with a four-year-old feel easy, and why the only way to build it is to go when it's still hard → The comeback to "they won't even remember it" that ends the argument for good → The filter Amanda uses to decide whether a trip actually happens, the one most people skip so "someday" never comes → The packing system that means nobody ever asks "who has the diapers" mid-flight → Why lowering your expectations is the real secret to a good trip with kids, not a consolation prize → The airplane bathroom story that made everyone in this episode swear off something for life The trip that keeps getting pushed Travel is the perfect example of the thing that matters to you but never feels urgent, so it sits on "someday" for years. The fix is the same one Amanda lives by. You get it out of your head and into one system you actually use, so the important things stop losing to the urgent ones. I made a free 15-minute training that walks you through how to build it. Watch here → go.alexpayetta.com/training Lorissa's List Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search. 👉 lorissaviolet.com Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Amanda Kellner Klein carryon.substack.com | @amandakellnerklein Timestamps 0:00 Meet Amanda, mom of two and "travel after kids" writer 8:45 The Spain trip that proved this one would be easy 12:02 Why it gets exponentially easier when you go while it's hard 16:07 "They won't even remember it" and the rebuttals that end it 21:52 Why low expectations are the real secret 35:58 The packing system, one kid, one bag, never swap 45:49 The airplane bathroom story you have to hear 53:49 TSA, frozen breast milk, and the hacks most parents miss 64:53 Travel as the important-but-not-urgent thing, and the Years Are Short spreadsheet 78:00 Where to find Amanda

    1 ч. 19 мин.
  3. You Can Be a Great Mom AND Be Obsessed With Work | Letting Go Without the Guilt

    15 июн. ·  Бонусный контент

    You Can Be a Great Mom AND Be Obsessed With Work | Letting Go Without the Guilt

    Lorissa woke up one morning and finally felt ready to let go of the kids a little. After touring 25 schools and finding every one of them terrible, she realized the schools were never the problem. The timing was. A hosts-only catch-up on the pull between loving your work and loving being home, and how you actually know when it's time to let go. What We Cover → The real reason Lorissa said no to 25 schools (and what finally changed) → Why "I'd love to stay home" and "I'm obsessed with working" can both be true at once → How Alex redesigned her work so she's actually available to her kids → The membership Lorissa's husband pushed for two years that covers childcare, an office, and a workout in one → Why trying to find "balance" might be the thing keeping you stuck Want to Actually Let Go? Letting go gets a lot easier when everything stops living in your head. Alex made a free 15-minute training that breaks down how to build the one system that lets you hand things off and step back without it all falling apart. 👉 go.alexpayetta.com/training Lorissa's List Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search. 👉 lorissaviolet.com Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Timestamps 0:00 What minis are, and what's new 0:25 Lorissa's epiphany and finally feeling ready 2:42 The pull between staying home and building something 6:00 Why both can be true (the shades of gray) 7:06 How Alex designs work around the kids 10:13 The Lifetime idea that covers childcare, an office, and a gym 11:32 The wall you have to hit (like sleep training) 13:01 Discernment, intuition, and taking action 15:15 Why chasing balance is a disservice

    16 мин.
  4. She Opened a Med Spa With a 1 & 3 Year Old | Letting Go, Hard Hires & the Botox Truth with Allison Brewer

    8 июн.

    She Opened a Med Spa With a 1 & 3 Year Old | Letting Go, Hard Hires & the Botox Truth with Allison Brewer

    Allison Brewer opened her med spa with a one and three year old at home, no door on her treatment room, and no front desk because she wasn't sure anyone would show up. Two weeks in, so many patients were walking through the door that she had to hire a front desk. She's the founder of Masters MedSpa in Irvine and a second generation injector who travels the world to stay at the top of her field. She came on to talk about what it actually takes to grow a business while you're raising little kids, and somewhere in there she also explains why everyone's face looked overfilled for a decade. What You'll Learn → The part of the business Allison handed to her husband that she swears she'd never have grown without → Why she hired too fast, kept the wrong person nine months too long, and what finally made the hard conversation doable → The "homework" her husband kept pushing that ended up running the whole company → The decade-long mistake Allison says injectors are finally walking back → How to know within the first sixty seconds whether your injector is good or about to wreck your face Heard yourself in this conversation? Allison couldn't grow the business until she stopped keeping all of it in her head. Same for you. Get everything out of your head and into one system you actually run, and you can finally hand things off and step back without it all falling apart. I made a free 15-minute training that breaks down exactly how to build it. Watch here → go.alexpayetta.com/training Lorissa's List Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search. 👉 lorissaviolet.com Specifically looking for the Epicutis skincare mentioned on the show? Find it here. Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Allison Brewer masters-medspa.com | @masters.medspa Timestamps 0:00 Meet Allison Brewer, founder of Masters MedSpa 2:01 Second-generation injector: her mom, the pioneer 7:21 Opening Masters with a one and three year old 8:10 Is there ever a right time to start a business or have a baby 13:15 Creating your reality and teaching the kids ownership 21:59 Her husband's background and the "homework" he kept pushing 27:38 The first fire, and keeping someone too long 35:13 Sculptra, biostimulators, and the overfilling decade 38:54 Dissolving filler, body dysmorphia, and the dopamine hit 42:08 Fat transfer, the "clone" theory, and a bad injector's first tell 1:00:30 Why she loves aging (and muscle mass for longevity) 1:09:38 Burnout as a red flag: capacity plus systems 1:14:03 Saying no without the guilt

    1 ч. 24 мин.
  5. Build Around Your Brain | Turning Corporate Skills into a Business

    18 мая ·  Бонусный контент

    Build Around Your Brain | Turning Corporate Skills into a Business

    You picked a major at eighteen, and somehow that one decision still gets to decide what you are allowed to do with the rest of your life. In this catch-up, Lorissa and Alex get into leaving corporate, translating those skills into something of your own, and why the systems that actually stick are the ones built around how your brain works instead of someone else's. What We Cover → Why the major you picked at eighteen is not the lane you are stuck in, and how Lorissa and Alex each rebuilt a corporate skill set into something of their own → Lorissa on launching Lorissa's List before it was ready, and why a messy first version beats waiting for perfect → Why most task systems fall apart by Friday, and what makes one finally stick CEO Mode By the end of this one, Alex is describing the exact system she has taught one-on-one for years, the one that gets your whole life, work and home, out of your head and into one place you actually trust. It is now a course called CEO Mode, built to do what Lorissa and Alex talk about in this episode, working with how your brain actually operates instead of fighting it. You sit down for an afternoon and build the whole thing. 👉 CEO Mode Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Timestamps 0:00 Welcome back, and why this one is a catch-up0:15 Lorissa's List, and the corporate job it traces back to2:15 Taking your skills out of corporate without making the job your identity4:16 Alex on turning Fortune 500 systems work into coaching women4:50 You are not stuck in the lane you picked at eighteen6:06 Getting fired, and why the next thing comes in phases7:18 Launching Lorissa's List before it was ready9:08 The brand-content year that did not work, and playing to your strengths10:14 Phase two of Lorissa's List and learning by shipping11:08 Life update: five days solo with the kids12:37 Alex on building CEO Mode13:36 Getting the mental load out of your head15:22 Why Asana works for life at home too18:28 Build around your brain, not someone else's

    19 мин.
  6. Why Desire Disappears After Kids | Cindy Scharkey, RN on Energy, Intimacy & the Conditions for Desire

    11 мая

    Why Desire Disappears After Kids | Cindy Scharkey, RN on Energy, Intimacy & the Conditions for Desire

    By the time you fall into bed at the end of the day, your body has nothing left. Not for affection, not for intimacy, not for the part of your relationship that used to be effortless. Nobody told you this was the trade. Cindy Scharkey has been an OB/GYN nurse for almost 40 years, and what she kept hearing from women is that nobody is having this conversation. So she started having it. What You'll Learn → The "one tank of energy" reality and why your sex life is the first thing it drains → Why scheduling sex doesn't work the way most couples do it (and what does) → What "responsive desire" is, and why most women have been measuring against the wrong thing their whole lives Take the Quiz Cindy says it's almost never desire that's the real problem. It's the CONDITIONS for desire, and those conditions don't exist when your body's been stuck in fight-or-flight all day. The Stress Loop quiz takes 2 minutes to name which of the four loops is keeping your body in stress mode, plus the morning move that breaks it. 👉 https://alexpayetta.com/quiz Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Cindy Scharkey, RN cindyscharkey.com | @cindyscharkey Mentioned in This Episode Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden — Cindy's book, written like a self-guided retreat with journaling prompts and exercises for any age and stagePermission for Pleasure podcast — Cindy's podcast, short topical episodes good for couples to listen to togetherUberlube — Cindy's recommended lube. Code CINDY for 15% offGina Ogden's "turn-ons and turn-offs" framework — the foundational exercise Cindy uses with every woman she works withThe "yes / no / maybe" communication framework — Cindy's low-pressure way to start the conversation with a partnerTimestamps 0:00 Why this conversation, why now 1:30 Cindy's background and why she started talking about this publicly 6:00 The "one tank of energy" — sex pulls from the same well as everything else 10:00 Responsive vs spontaneous desire (and why the movies lied) 15:00 Scheduling intimacy without it feeling like a chore 20:00 The 4% change that brings desire back 25:00 The fear-of-pregnancy "hand brake" nobody talks about 30:00 Decentering intercourse — what "sex" can actually mean 35:00 Where to start when you don't know where to start 40:00 Why painful sex isn't normal, and the lube conversation

    59 мин.
  7. Emma Grede's "Three-Hour Mom" Take, And the Judgment Going Both Ways

    4 мая ·  Бонусный контент

    Emma Grede's "Three-Hour Mom" Take, And the Judgment Going Both Ways

    Sometimes you're in the rhythm and everything feels good. Sometimes the rhythm breaks and you have to rebuild the whole thing. In this catch-up, one of us is in each season. Alex and Lorissa catch up on where they each actually are right now.. one of them in the most grounded season she's had in a while, one of them hitting a wall and re-working how she runs her week. The conversation wanders into the Emma Grede "three-hour mom" debate, the judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms, and why kids turn out how they turn out regardless of what we do. What We Cover → The moment Lorissa realized compounding Fridays was never going to catch her up → The Emma Grede "three-hour mom" take and the problem with judging other parents' choices → Why Lorissa's third baby year has felt completely different than her first two Connect With Us Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Timestamps 0:00 Alex's "I feel lucky all the time" season 2:15 Morning gratitude walks with a 4-year-old 3:48 Lorissa hits a wall, Lorissa's List takes off, and the one-day-a-week model breaks 6:30 Why being particular means being involved 8:10 Not blending work and kids, even when the baby is just chilling 11:22 Third-baby year: why time actually feels slower this time 14:05 The Emma Grede three-hour mom debate 17:40 Judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms 20:18 The friend whose stay-at-home mom couldn't let them travel 22:00 Nature versus nurture, and kids who turn out great anyway

    20 мин.
  8. It All Comes Back To Blood Sugar | Dr. Sam Riley on Energy Crashes, Cravings & Hormones

    27 апр.

    It All Comes Back To Blood Sugar | Dr. Sam Riley on Energy Crashes, Cravings & Hormones

    You keep trying new supplements, new workouts, new morning routines, and something still feels off. The thing nobody is checking is usually the thing running underneath all of it. Dr. Sam Riley is back for round two. This time we go deep on blood sugar.. why it sits at the root of hair loss, insomnia, weight that won't budge, hormone issues, fertility struggles, and the anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere. What You'll Learn → The everyday symptom most women write off as "just hangry" that's actually a red flag for something much bigger → Why intermittent fasting is making a huge group of women feel worse, and how to know if you're in that group → The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first when someone says "I've tried everything and nothing is working" → What a continuous glucose monitor actually shows you in two weeks (and why the first week you shouldn't change a thing) → The protein number that makes women's jaws hit the floor, and the math that makes it doable → How food order at a single meal can completely change the way your body responds Wake Up Different Dr. Sam kept coming back to the same thing.. consistency with the basics. That's 90% of the work right there. Wake Up Different is the 28-day rebuild that turns the basics.. protein first, regulated, fueled.. from a daily decision into your default. 👉 https://alexpayetta.com/wakeupdifferent Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta Dr. Sam Riley drsamriley.com | @dr.samriley Mentioned in This Episode Ashley Barrett Wellness — Virtual Nutritional Therapy PractitionerDiabetes with Dani — Creator of Conquer Your Diabetes, a Type 1 program for kids and womenCyrex Labs — food sensitivity and autoimmune testingTimestamps 0:00 Why blood sugar is almost every woman's first problem 4:12 Hangry, sweaty, anxious, emotional, the Snickers commercial response 8:45 What a continuous glucose monitor actually tells you 14:20 Hair thinning, insomnia, weight that won't budge 19:08 Cortisol, chronic stress, and the insulin receptor shut-down 24:30 The protein math for women and how to actually hit it 30:15 Food order at a meal and why it completely changes blood sugar response 36:40 PCOS, fertility, and the vegan-to-pregnant story 42:50 Diet Coke culture, carbonation, and what it does to digestion 48:22 The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first 54:10 Kids, tantrums, night waking, and the parasite conversation nobody is having 1:02:05 Workouts, fasting, and fueling your body 1:08:40 Where to actually start today

    1 ч. 5 мин.

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Welcome to Above Average. For the women who want the career, the family, the marriage, AND the personal goals... ...and are tired of being told that wanting it all means failing at all of it. We're having the candid conversations no one else is having about what it takes, what's working, and what we're still figuring out. Because being a high achiever doesn't mean you have it all figured out. It means you never settle. Hosted by Alex Payetta and Lorissa Violet

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