Aging Parent Podcast

Valerie Upham
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Education

If you're raising kids, building a career, and suddenly managing doctor appointments, finances, or hard conversations with your parents, this podcast is for you. I'm Valerie Upham, and this is The Aging Parent Podcast. This show is for the sandwich generation, the sons and daughters who didn't plan on becoming caregivers, but stepped into the role anyway. You're carrying responsibility, love, pressure, and decisions that matter more than anyone prepared you for. I know this season personally. I've supported a parent through dementia. I've walked alongside my father through lung cancer, and both through hospice. I've lived in the tension between relationships and responsibilities. Caring for your parents doesn't come with a roadmap. Even with the best intentions, the choices can feel heavy because they affect the people that you love most. You may not know which decisions need to happen first. You may be feeling pulled between your parents' wishes and living your own life. You may be navigating siblings and doctors without a clear plan, quietly wondering if you're honoring your parents the right way while trying to protect the relationship. What you want is steadiness, clarity instead of second-guessing, confidence instead of guilt, a way forward that supports your parents without losing yourself. Each week, you'll hear solo episodes and thoughtful interviews with estate planning and elder law attorneys, financial planners, memory care leaders, healthcare professionals, and people who have walked this road themselves. You'll gain clarity on what needs attention and when. You'll learn language for conversations that preserve dignity and trust. You'll understand care and housing options before urgency forces decisions, and you'll be reminded that uncertainty does not mean that you're doing it wrong. New episodes will drop weekly, so whenever new questions surface, you have a place to return. Share this with a sibling or a friend who needs it, and join me on The Aging Parent Podcast!

  1. 2d ago

    Ep 13 | Dementia Caregiving and Family Guilt: Our Mother's 10-Year Journey

    Dementia caregiving can affect an entire family long before anyone feels prepared for what lies ahead. In this personal episode of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with her sister Kim to talk candidly about their mother's journey with vascular dementia—from the early signs they didn't initially understand to diagnosis, memory care, hospice, family stress, caregiver guilt, and eventually saying goodbye. Their mother's early dementia symptoms weren't limited to forgetting things. She began withdrawing, stopped doing activities she once enjoyed, struggled to find words, repeated stories, drove less, and eventually lost her ability to speak. Valerie and Kim also discuss: Early signs of dementia in an aging parent Caring for a parent with vascular dementia How dementia affects communication When memory care becomes necessary The guilt families can experience after choosing memory care What to look for in senior care Why hospice isn't necessarily only for the final days Advance healthcare directives and powers of attorney Family dynamics between siblings during caregiving What they wish they had understood earlier Perhaps the most unexpected lesson Valerie learned was that dementia could eventually take away her mother's ability to speak. Today, she encourages families to preserve more than photographs—record your parents' voices and everyday stories while you still can. About the Aging Parent Network The Aging Parent Network helps families better understand the options available when an aging parent begins needing additional support. Whether you're just beginning to notice changes or facing decisions involving senior living, caregiving, legal planning, downsizing, or the family home, the goal is to help you become informed before you're forced to make decisions during a crisis. Connect with Aging Parent Network 📞 Phone: 858-727-9333  📧 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com If someone you know is caring for an aging parent or beginning to notice changes they don't quite understand, share this episode with them. Sometimes hearing another family's experience can help you recognize that you don't have to have every answer before starting the conversation.

  2. 2d ago

    Ep 12 | Selling Your Parents' Home Without Losing the Memories

    Selling Your Parents' Home can seem like a real estate decision—until decades of belongings, legal issues, repairs, sibling responsibilities, money, and family memories all become part of the process. In this episode, Valerie Upham talks with John Demato about what happened when he and his brother became responsible for the New York home their parents had owned for roughly 60–70 years. After their father passed away, a problem with the will created an unexpected six-to-eight-month delay before the brothers could move forward with the property. They initially considered renting the house, ultimately decided to sell, and found themselves dealing with far more than they expected—including a new kitchen and bathroom, flooring, stairs, a roof, electrical upgrades, and other repairs. Their total investment eventually climbed north of $70,000–$80,000. John also shares the part that numbers can't measure: what it felt like to dismantle rooms he had grown up in, sort through generations of family photographs, and eventually realize that selling his childhood home didn't mean selling the memories created there. As John puts it: "It's just a building. It's the memories that happen within the building that matter most." In this episode: The unexpected legal delay Deciding whether to rent or sell How two brothers divided the responsibilities Facing decades of deferred maintenance Renovating the family home Investing more than $70K–$80K The hardest part of inheriting the responsibility Why John says you have to stay agile and resilient Photographing the transformation "It's just a building…" About John DeMato John DeMato is a photographer and Visual Authority Architect who helps experts, authors, speakers, consultants, founders, and CEOs use imagery to communicate who they are and the level at which they operate. Before building his photography business, John spent more than a decade producing for NBCUniversal and Yahoo. He credits that television background with shaping the way he approaches photography—not simply capturing what something looks like, but digging deeper to find the story underneath it. That same instinct is evident in this episode. When his childhood home was about to be transformed, John used photography to document something far more personal: his own family history. Learn more about John DeMato: johndemato.com (718) 431-3542 john@johndemato.com   About the Aging Parent Network The Aging Parent Network helps aging parents and adult children understand their options when decisions involving the family home, care, legal planning, downsizing, and other life transitions begin to overlap. Start with a free discovery call: Phone: 858-727-9333 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com AgingParentNetwork.com

  3. Aug 26

    Episode 11 | Alzheimer's San Diego: When Dementia Starts Changing Someone You Love

    Dementia Caregiving can leave families wondering what to say, when to step in, and how to help an aging parent without taking away their independence.   In this episode of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with Kristen Romea, LCSW, from Alzheimer's San Diego to talk about what families need to understand as memory loss and dementia begin changing everyday life.   They discuss early signs of dementia, how to approach a parent who doesn't recognize their own cognitive changes, when to involve a doctor, dementia home safety, caregiver burnout, and the difficult balance between safety and autonomy.   Kristen also explains why a dementia diagnosis doesn't automatically mean someone is incapable of making decisions, what families should understand about mild cognitive impairment, and why powers of attorney and advance healthcare directives are so important before a crisis.   You'll also learn:   How to communicate with someone who has dementia Why asking "Don't you remember?" can make things harder How fewer choices can help preserve independence What to consider when a parent is living alone with dementia How to make a move to memory care less stressful Why caregiver support groups may be very different from what you expect What to do when siblings disagree about a parent's care Why caregivers need to pace themselves for the long journey ahead   One of the most important reminders from this conversation: dementia caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. Families don't need to solve every future problem today—but understanding the options earlier can give everyone more choices later.   About the Aging Parent Podcast   The Aging Parent Podcast brings families into the conversations that become increasingly important as parents age—from caregiving and senior living to legal planning, downsizing, dementia, healthcare, and the family home.   These are conversations designed to help families understand their options, ask better questions, and make informed decisions before circumstances make those decisions for them. Connect With Today's Guest   Kristen Romea, LCSW VP of Programs, Alzheimer's San Diego   Alzheimer's San Diego provides dementia education, caregiver support groups, personalized dementia support, classes, and other resources for San Diego County families.   Help & Support: 858-492-4400 Email: info@alzsd.org Website: Alzheimer's San Diego   Connect with Aging Parent Network 📞 Phone: 858-727-9333  📧 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com If this conversation made you think of a sibling, spouse, friend, or caregiver, share this episode with them.   Subscribe to the channel for more conversations about aging parents, dementia, caregiving, senior living, legal planning, downsizing, and the decisions families often don't realize they'll need to make until they're facing them.  You don't need to have all the answers. You just need a place to start.

  4. Aug 26

    Episode 10 | Dementia in Aging Parents: The Signs Families Miss & What No One Tells You

    Dementia care for aging parents involves much more than recognizing memory loss.   In Episode 10 of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham welcomes back Kendra Cole, Senior Living Advisor and Founder of Noni's Senior Living Placement, for a deeper conversation focused specifically on dementia and what families may not realize until they're living through it.   What can look like "just getting older" may show up in unexpected ways—from medication mistakes and changes around the house to wandering, personality changes, caregiver exhaustion, or a sudden increase in confusion.   Valerie and Kendra also discuss why an aging parent may appear perfectly fine during a doctor's appointment, why families should document the changes they're seeing, and why preserving a parent's dignity matters in the way we speak to—and about—them.   And one of the most surprising conversations in the episode: not every sudden change in confusion should automatically be assumed to be dementia getting worse. Kendra shares an experience involving a resident whose symptoms were affected by a long-standing UTI.   In This Episode You'll Learn:   ✔️ Early dementia signs families may overlook ✔️ What to watch for with medications, food, finances, and daily routines ✔️ Why sudden confusion deserves closer attention ✔️ How people with dementia may mask symptoms ✔️ Ways to make a home safer for someone with dementia ✔️ What wandering can look like and ways families can prepare ✔️ Why caregiver exhaustion is an important warning sign ✔️ What really matters when evaluating memory care ✔️ Why repeatedly asking "Do you remember?" can be frustrating ✔️ Simple ways to preserve your parent's stories, voice, and memories   One especially important message from this conversation: don't talk about your parent as though they aren't in the room. Dementia may change someone's memory or communication, but it doesn't erase their dignity.   About the Aging Parent Network   The Aging Parent Network helps adult children understand their options when an aging parent's needs begin to change.   Families may need help with senior living or in-home care, downsizing and estate sales, legal planning, or decisions involving the family home. Aging Parent Network gives families one place to start and helps connect them with the appropriate professionals for their circumstances.   Connect with Our Guest Kendra Cole Founder & Senior Living Advisor Noni's Senior Living Placement 📞 Phone: (858) 334-9097 📧 Email: kendracole@srlivingplacement.com   Connect with Aging Parent Network 📞 Phone: 858-727-9333  📧 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com   Need Help Figuring Out Where to Start?   If something about your mom or dad feels different, don't wait until you have every answer. Start by paying attention. Ask questions. Document what you're seeing. And get the right people involved before you're forced to make decisions under pressure.Subscribe to the Aging Parent Podcast for more real conversations about aging parents, caregiving, senior living, legal planning, downsizing, and the decisions families rarely feel prepared to make.

  5. Aug 21

    Episode 9 | Estate Sales for Seniors: What Families Throw Away Too Soon

    Estate Sales for Seniors can feel overwhelming when a lifetime of belongings, family memories, and a major move all collide at once. In this episode of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with Catherine Waters, owner of Blue Waters Relocation and Estate Sales, to talk about what families should know before downsizing an aging parent's home or starting an estate sale. One of the biggest mistakes? Throwing things away before an estate sale professional has had a chance to look at them. Catherine explains why vintage clothing, tools, small household items, unusual collections, old photographs, jewelry, records, and even objects that appear worthless may have buyers. She shares stories ranging from a collection of 10,000 seashells—where an individual shell could be worth $1 or $1,000—to approximately $65,000 of 18-karat gold discovered inside an ordinary trunk. Valerie and Catherine also discuss the emotional side of senior downsizing: what happens when sentimental value doesn't match market value, how families can divide belongings, how to choose an estate sale company, and why sorting through an attic or garage can become one of the biggest obstacles to moving. The conversation becomes especially important when an aging parent has dementia. Catherine explains why she believes the senior whose possessions are being sold should still have a voice in the process whenever possible. If you're helping an aging parent downsize, preparing for an estate sale, selling a parent's home, or wondering what to do with decades of belongings, this episode will help you understand where to begin—and what not to do first. About the Aging Parent Network The Aging Parent Network is an educational resource for aging adults and their families. We help families understand their options and connect with the right professionals for their circumstances, including senior living, in-home care, estate sales, move management, elder law, estate planning, and real estate. Connect With Today's Guest Catherine Waters Founder of Blue Waters Relocation and Estate Sales 📞 858-333-1853  📧 bluewatersrelocation@gmail.com 🌐 BlueWatersRelocation.com Connect With the Aging Parent Network 🌐 AgingParentNetwork.com 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com Need Help With an Aging Parent? Are you caring for an aging parent and feeling overwhelmed by the decisions ahead? Schedule a free discovery call with the Aging Parent Network. We'll help you understand your options and connect you with the right resources for your family. 📞 Call 858-727-9333 or visit AgingParentNetwork.com to schedule your free discovery call.

  6. Aug 18

    Episode 8 | Aging in Place: The Fall That Can Take Away Your Choices

    Aging in Place requires more than deciding that you never want to leave your home. It takes thoughtful planning for home safety, healthcare decisions, finances, transportation, future care, and the people who may need to step in. In this episode, Valerie Upham speaks with Jacqui Clark, a Certified Senior Advisor and senior care consultant, about how aging parents can preserve their independence and choices for as long as possible. They discuss fall prevention, senior home modifications, powers of attorney, dementia care, assisted living, in-home caregivers, Medicare coverage, and the difficult promise many parents ask their children to make: "Never move me from my home." Jacqui also explains why senior living communities that appear similar may provide very different levels of care—and how one medical requirement, such as insulin administration, can dramatically reduce a family's available options. This conversation is for aging parents, adult children, caregivers, and anyone who wants to plan before a health crisis begins making decisions for them. About the Aging Parent Network The Aging Parent Network helps families understand their circumstances and connect with the right professionals for senior living, in-home care, estate sales, move management, elder law, and real estate. Connect With Today's Guest Jacqui Clark Certified Senior Advisor® (CSA®) and Senior Placement Consultant  This Is Living Well and Living Coastal Senior Resources. 📞 858-761-7551 📧 jacqui@LivingCoastalSR.com   Connect With the Aging Parent Network 🌐 AgingParentNetwork.com 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If someone in your family wants to remain at home but doesn't yet have a plan, share this episode with them. One conversation today may protect more choices tomorrow.

  7. Aug 11

    Episode 7 | Elder Law for Aging Parents: Who Controls Your Life If You Can't?

    Elder Law for Aging Parents is about much more than what happens after someone dies. It's about making sure your family knows who can make decisions, manage finances, communicate with doctors, and step in when an aging parent can no longer do those things for themselves. In Episode 6 of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with Kimberly R. McGhee, CELA, a Certified Elder Law Attorney with Black & McGhee, to talk about the legal planning families often don't think about until there's already a crisis. Kimberly explains why she considers an estate plan a "manual for your life"—a set of instructions that can help answer who manages your affairs while you're well, who steps in if you become incapacitated, and what happens after your death. The conversation goes beyond traditional estate planning for aging parents. Valerie and Kimberly discuss powers of attorney, advance healthcare directives, trusts, conservatorships, probate, digital assets, long-term care planning, and one of the most overlooked decisions of all: choosing the right person to act on your behalf. Kimberly also challenges the assumption that the oldest child, caregiving daughter, or most obvious family member should automatically be put in charge. Instead, she encourages families to think of the role as a job and ask whether that person truly has the skills, temperament, and judgment required to do it. The episode also explores why the best person to manage finances may not be the same person you want advocating for your healthcare. In This Conversation, We Cover What an elder law attorney does and how elder law differs from traditional estate planning The legal documents aging parents should consider before a crisis Powers of attorney and advance healthcare directives What can happen when someone loses capacity without a plan Conservatorship and why planning ahead matters Revocable living trusts and probate Long-term care and Medi-Cal planning considerations Why a power of attorney ends at death Planning for digital assets, online accounts, and financial information How to choose a successor trustee Why your financial decision-maker and healthcare advocate may be different people When a professional fiduciary may make sense How poor planning and lack of communication can contribute to family conflict Why both spouses should understand where important financial and legal information is kept Kimberly also shares real situations involving spouses and adult children who were left trying to manage finances, healthcare, or estates without having the necessary information or authority in place—illustrating how much harder an already emotional situation can become without advance planning. About the Aging Parent Podcast The Aging Parent Podcast features conversations with professionals who work with older adults and their families. Each episode is designed to give aging parents and adult children practical information, real-world perspectives, and resources that can help them better understand their options and make informed decisions before a crisis forces the conversation. Topics include senior living, caregiving, dementia, elder law, estate planning, hospice, downsizing, long-term care, aging in place, and other decisions families face as parents get older. Connect With Today's Guest Kimberly R. McGhee, CELA* Certified Elder Law Attorney by the National Elder Law Foundation THE ESTATE LAWYERS, APC 📞 Phone: (858) 351-4006 📧 Email: kim@theestatelawyers.com Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure where to start with an aging parent? Aging Parent Network helps families understand their circumstances and connects them with professionals who may be appropriate for their needs. 📞 Phone: 858-727-9333 📧 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com If you're concerned about an aging parent and aren't sure which professional to call or what questions to ask first, contact Aging Parent Network at 858-727-9333. We'll listen to what's happening and help identify the right type of professional for your circumstances. If this conversation helped you, subscribe to the Aging Parent Podcast, share this episode with a family member, and save it for the conversation you may need to have later.

  8. Aug 11

    Episode 6 | Senior Move Management: When Downsizing Feels Like Giving Up a Lifetime

    Moving an aging parent isn't simply about packing boxes and hiring a moving company. Senior move management can help families handle the physical, practical, and emotional parts of downsizing while making the transition to a new home less overwhelming. In Episode 6 of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with Mike Hazelton, Chief Moving Officer at Senior Move Masters, to explain what families should know before helping an aging parent move. Mike shares how senior move managers help with everything from measuring furniture and planning the new space to sorting decades of belongings, coordinating the move, unpacking, and making the new residence feel familiar. One of the most interesting parts of the conversation is how his team photographs important areas of a senior's current home—including photographs, treasured collections, medicine cabinets, and personal belongings—and recreates them in the new space. Because when an older adult moves, they're not simply moving their things. They're moving a lifetime of memories.  In This Conversation, We Cover What senior move management is and how it differs from a traditional moving company How to help an aging parent begin downsizing without becoming overwhelmed Why space planning should happen before deciding what furniture to move How senior move managers recreate familiar surroundings in a new home What to do when sentimental belongings won't fit When donations, storage, and estate sales may make sense Why adult children shouldn't rush their parents through downsizing How to begin with one small area instead of tackling the entire house When families should contact a senior move manager What happens during packing, moving, unpacking, and move-in day How grief and the loss of a spouse can affect the downsizing process Why making a new residence feel like home matters just as much as completing the move Mike's advice throughout the episode is simple but important: start earlier than you think you need to, take the process in small steps, and don't force an aging parent to let go of belongings before they're ready. About the Aging Parent Podcast The Aging Parent Podcast features conversations with professionals who work with older adults and their families. Each episode focuses on practical information families can use when facing decisions involving aging parents, senior living, caregiving, estate planning, downsizing, healthcare, housing, and other major life transitions. Our goal is to give families information they can understand and use—ideally before a crisis forces the decision. Connect With Today's Guest Mike Hazelton Chief Moving Officer Senior Move Masters 📞 760-815-3736 📧 mike@seniormovemasters.com Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure who you need to call or where to begin? Aging Parent Network can help connect you with the right professional for your family's circumstances. 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If you're helping an aging parent downsize, move to senior living, or determine what to do with a home filled with decades of belongings, don't wait until move day is around the corner to start planning. Contact Aging Parent Network at 858-727-9333 to talk through your circumstances and get connected with the right professional. And if this episode could help another family, share it with them, subscribe to the Aging Parent Podcast, and follow for more conversations about helping aging parents and their families make informed decisions.

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out of 5
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About

If you're raising kids, building a career, and suddenly managing doctor appointments, finances, or hard conversations with your parents, this podcast is for you. I'm Valerie Upham, and this is The Aging Parent Podcast. This show is for the sandwich generation, the sons and daughters who didn't plan on becoming caregivers, but stepped into the role anyway. You're carrying responsibility, love, pressure, and decisions that matter more than anyone prepared you for. I know this season personally. I've supported a parent through dementia. I've walked alongside my father through lung cancer, and both through hospice. I've lived in the tension between relationships and responsibilities. Caring for your parents doesn't come with a roadmap. Even with the best intentions, the choices can feel heavy because they affect the people that you love most. You may not know which decisions need to happen first. You may be feeling pulled between your parents' wishes and living your own life. You may be navigating siblings and doctors without a clear plan, quietly wondering if you're honoring your parents the right way while trying to protect the relationship. What you want is steadiness, clarity instead of second-guessing, confidence instead of guilt, a way forward that supports your parents without losing yourself. Each week, you'll hear solo episodes and thoughtful interviews with estate planning and elder law attorneys, financial planners, memory care leaders, healthcare professionals, and people who have walked this road themselves. You'll gain clarity on what needs attention and when. You'll learn language for conversations that preserve dignity and trust. You'll understand care and housing options before urgency forces decisions, and you'll be reminded that uncertainty does not mean that you're doing it wrong. New episodes will drop weekly, so whenever new questions surface, you have a place to return. Share this with a sibling or a friend who needs it, and join me on The Aging Parent Podcast!

Information

  • Creator
    Valerie Upham
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026
  • Show Website
    Aging Parent Podcast