20 episodes

This is the All at Once podcast for women and those who love them. We are God’s image bearers exploring ways religion has been distorted to silence the marginalized and justify abuse. We are Christians, seeking to comfort, heal, and free people from the pain caused by our own religion. We carry much, like all of humanity, All at Once. To God be the glory.

All at Once Kelly Browning

    • Religion & Spirituality
    • 4.8 • 73 Ratings

This is the All at Once podcast for women and those who love them. We are God’s image bearers exploring ways religion has been distorted to silence the marginalized and justify abuse. We are Christians, seeking to comfort, heal, and free people from the pain caused by our own religion. We carry much, like all of humanity, All at Once. To God be the glory.

    3.0 Trailer: Centering Black Voices

    3.0 Trailer: Centering Black Voices

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    Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties







    Toward the end of last season, I, Kelly Browning, realized that this beautiful podcast that my friends and I have created lacked the very representation for which we advocate. We had no voices of color represented as guests or as leaders at our decision-making table. To correct this, and to better understand the deeply divisive issue of racism in America, at the end of our Season two finale with Janis Street, we said our next season would center black voices.







    I’m proud to say we kept our word. Season three premiers on September 21. This season, we continue working together to press into these hard topics like the dynamics of racism and power, sexuality, slavery, and colonialism’s connection with modern racism, along with learning from the experiences of a male survivor of sexual assault, and how all of this is influenced by and experienced within Christianity.







    One of our guests, Rev, will be performing for us for our first ever ALL AT ONCE LIVE– a free event that starts at 4:30 on October 15 on the patio at Dunn brothers in Friendswood, TX. Bring a lawn chair and a friend and join us for a meaningful night which will also include live music and an interview with Arnaecia Alridge, entertainment executive and fierce advocate for equity in the entertainment industry. We can’t wait to see you there.







    Before you go, remember to subscribe and write a review for our show on all your favorite podcast apps which helps our show reach people more organically. Thanks for listening.







    Music by Kate Short; Instagram @kate_tshort







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    Executive Producer: Kelly Browning; Assistant Producer: Sarah McDuffee, Dara George, and Janis Street, Marketing Director: Nicole Golden, Social Media Manager: Molly Baize, Editor: Audra Bridges, A&A Creative

    • 3 min
    Mary Demuth // WeToo Part 1

    Mary Demuth // WeToo Part 1

    Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties







    Mary Demuth, a survivor of sexual abuse and author of We Too, joins us to talk about what it is like to build a healthy family as a person who has experienced abuse and trauma.







    We also talk about our struggle with the voices who have tried to silence us when we have had something important to say, and how those voices sometimes seem to echo inside our heads creating fear that inhibits us from speaking up. 







    We define and discuss the control tactic of spiritual abuse, and how as women, we are often taught to acquiesce even when something is damaging to ourselves.







    As followers of Jesus, we need to equip ourselves to respond well when someone discloses abuse.  When they don’t respond well, secondary trauma is added to the initial trauma of the abuse.  Mary explains that “happy world syndrome” is often responsible for the poor responses to abuse victims from those around them – people don’t want to believe that bad things happen in our world.







    In fact, people would often rather shame the person bringing the bad news or ignore it while letting abuse continue than acknowledge it to be true.







    We have forgotten that God is on the side of the downtrodden.  Refusing to choose a side in instances of abuse is choosing to enable the perpetrator.  If we want to be more like Jesus, we can’t close our eyes to abuse.







    Come back next week to hear more from Mary about specific scriptures regarding sexual abuse and how the church should respond!







    www.marydemuth.com







    Music by Kate Short; Instagram @kate_tshort







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    Show notes were written by Sarah McDuffee, Marketing Director: Robyn Boren, Social Media Manager: Molly Baize







    www.allatonce.us

    Mary Demuth // How the church should respond to the sexual abuse crisis

    Mary Demuth // How the church should respond to the sexual abuse crisis

    Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties







    Mary Demuth, author of We Too joins us to continue this conversation. Together, we explore how to create safer environments for the prevention of abuse. 







    We discuss the way accounts of sexual assault in the Bible are interpreted.  Often, stories that describe sexual assault in the Bible are talked about in ways that shift the focus onto something other than the abuse that took place.  Sometimes the passages are even talked about in ways that are victim-blaming.  Mary talks about viewing these passages descriptively, which clearly shows God’s condemnation of sexual violence.  Throughout the Bible, there are always serious consequences for sexual violence. 







    Power abuse and consent cannot coexist.  When the person with more power wants something, the person with less power often has a lot to lose if they say no.  We see this play out when an adult abuses a child, when a spiritual leader abuses a congregation member, and when a husband abuses a wife.  Specifically, regarding rape within marriage, teaching that a woman’s body does not belong to her but to her husband promotes rape culture by nullifying the need for consent.  When you have a system where women’s voices are silenced, that system is rife for abuse.  







    Trauma has a significant impact on a person.  This is often evident in the way a trauma survivor shows up in a community with a significant amount of fear and distrust.  Survivors of the trauma of abuse need to be met by followers of Jesus with acceptance and empathy.  Unfortunately, many of the most common responses to survivors of sexual violence are harmful and detrimental to healing.  Mary talks about why victim-blaming is such a common occurrence.  







    We discuss the baffling truth that perpetrators often receive more grace in churches than victims of sexual abuse.  We must listen to and love the survivor first.  But what about the perpetrator? Mary explains that to love a perpetrator is to tell the truth and to seek justice and consequences for what they have done.  Love is not covering over sin; love is exposing sin.  Church leadership and culture must care more about humility and the exposure of sin than about preserving reputations.  







    Sexual assault and many kinds of abuse are not only sins, but also crimes.  It is always necessary and important to report the abuse of a minor to the proper authorities.  Whenever possible, it is important to respect the agency of adult victims to decide whether to report crimes committed against them.  Reporting can be a very positive step to take for many, and it can help prevent predators from abusing others, but there are often complicating factors, and the victim’s right to decide needs to be respected.  You can visit www.rainn.org for more information about reporting assault.







    We at the All At Once Podcast and Mary Demuth love the church.  Our common goal is to bring truth and healing where it is desperately needed.  We, as followers of Jesus, need to do better as we respond to cases of abuse in our congregations and communities.







    www.marydemuth.com







    Music by Kate Short; Instagram @kate_tshort







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    • 47 min
    Wendy Scott // The woman at the well and the assumptions we make about her

    Wendy Scott // The woman at the well and the assumptions we make about her

    Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties







    Lifted out of context, this story is often told with implications about the woman’s sin and shame due to her presumed life choices.  It is commonly used to demonstrate how Jesus will forgive anyone, even those with messy lives and deeply sinful pasts. Wendy draws our attention to contextual details that offer a dramatically different lens for interpretation. It becomes evident that the woman’s circumstances likely had little to do with her sin, and we notice how Jesus approached her with acceptance and empathy rather than judgment.







    We discuss the importance of reading scripture with fresh eyes rather than approaching it from the viewpoint of what we already think we know.  Negative bias, both in general and specifically towards female characters, can significantly influence what we take away from passages of scripture. When we interpret with a lens that holds a positive view of women, we see a different picture than when we interpret with a negative view of women.







    It is a gift to learn from others who have different interpretive lenses.







    We discuss the themes of shame and blame heaped on the woman that we have heard taught with this passage, and the personal impact of that negative view of the woman for each of us. In contrast, we talk about what we see in the story when we put aside our negative assumptions about her and pay attention to what is actually in the text.  The woman was both a truth seeker and a truth-teller. Jesus gave her dignity and engaged with her in a deep theological discussion.







    Jesus’ posture as he approached this woman was gentle, loving, and dignifying. There is healing power in meeting those who have been marginalized, abused, or traumatized with empathy and acceptance.







    Music by Kate Short; Instagram @kate_tshort







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    Bronze Judy Wiggins, Allstate







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    Episode produced and edited by Kelly Browning; show notes written by Sarah McDuffee, Marketing Director: Robyn Boren, Social Media Manager: Molly Baize, Episdoe mixed by Isabelle Le.







    www.allatonce.us

    • 46 min
    Beth Allison Barr // The Making of Biblical Womanhood

    Beth Allison Barr // The Making of Biblical Womanhood

    Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties







    It is time to end patriarchy and free women. Dr. Beth Allison Barr, associate professor of history, associate dean of the Graduate School at Baylor University, and author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood joins us in this episode to talk about biblical womanhood and patriarchy.







    Beth shares her experience as a pastor’s wife in churches with complementarian theology and traditional gender roles.  When we add patriarchy to the gospel, it becomes fragile. Patriarchy puts men in the place of God.  When men are put on a pedestal and they inevitably fail, faith crumbles.  However, although humans can weaken the power of the gospel by trying to add to it, God is not fragile. 







    Beth talks about the chapter on Paul in her book. Her goal is not to tell us how to interpret Paul, but to share that there are valid and faithful interpretations of the text that do not involve the submission of women to men.  She shows us how Paul looks different when placed in historical context and when read with an understanding of Paul’s rhetorical strategies.  We explore the question: what if we are wrong about female subordination? 







    We discuss the impact of the exclusive use of translations like the ESV in Christian communities.  We talk about how Christian women and girls are taught to be submissive, quiet, and even tolerant of mistreatment.  We talk about the shame involved with not adhering to gender roles. Due to teachings about gender roles and purity culture, many women have internalized beliefs that they are less than men and are somehow responsible for the abuse they experience from men.  The impact of #MeToo and #ChurchToo is that many women are starting to realize they have been victimized.  







    Beth says complementarianism doesn’t cause abuse, but it enables it.  Complementarian theology enables women to be treated as less than men – as though women are not created as much in the image of God as men are.  When theological beliefs about biblical womanhood place women in a place of inferiority and precarity, it is dangerous.







    Music by Kate Short; Instagram @kate_tshort







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    Silver Texan Bank, Ink’d Designs, and Funky Monkey







    Bronze Judy Wiggins, Allstate







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    Episode produced and edited by Kelly Browning; show notes written by Sarah McDuffee, Marketing Director: Robyn Boren, Social Media Manager: Molly Baize, Episode mixed by Isabelle Le.







    www.allatonce.us

    • 59 min
    Kelsey Golz // Refuse to Be Silenced

    Kelsey Golz // Refuse to Be Silenced

    Presenting Sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield, Stanfield Properties







    Victims and survivors of abuse can find validation, healing, and hope in stories told by others.  Kelsey Golz joins us to share her story of abuse.  She has written and published her complete survivor story in her book Refuse to be Silenced.  Which of us will break free? Which of us will speak up?







    The underlying factor in abuse is control.  Abusers slowly groom victims to accept more and more abuse.  Kelsey talks about gaslighting: how her abuser would do something harmful and then claim he didn’t do it or downplay what he did. Her abuser said things like: Why did you make me do that? That never happened. You’re crazy. Abuse is confusing and disorienting because abusive people condition you not to trust yourself and your own perception of reality. 







    Abusers wear masks.  The image an abuser creates is visible to society, and it adds pressure to make the relationship work because of the fear of looking crazy if you break off a seemingly perfect relationship.  







    Abusers subtly test boundaries to see how much you will forgive.  Kelsey talks about how she forgave so easily and how the boundary violations became more frequent and more harmful.  This is a common relational dynamic in cases of abuse.  You can forgive and simultaneously walk away. 







    Kelsey talks about how she subconsciously learned to adjust her behavior to the expectations of her abuser. The manipulation started out subtly and grew worse and worse.  Kelsey shares how she knew he would treat her badly if she didn’t do what he wanted, but that he would treat her better if she complied.  We talk about how nonphysical abuse is real and incredibly damaging. It paves the way for more overt forms of abuse down the road by systematically breaking down the victim psychologically until they have no voice.







    One of the most dangerous times for a victim is right after leaving the abusive relationship because the abuser is feeling a loss of control.







    There is a myth that abuse only happens to those who are weak, but abuse can happen to anyone. It takes an incredibly strong person to survive an abusive relationship, whether they are in the process of leaving, have left, or are still being abused. However, there is often shame and embarrassment in admitting that you are being abused.







    God sees victims of abuse.  We are never alone because God is with us.  Kelsey talks about how she experienced God’s comfort and incredible peace even in the darkest moments she faced.  She shares how God’s presence and truth helped her survive and eventually leave the abusive relationship.







    Music by Kate Short; Instagram @kate_tshort







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    Become a monthly supporter– LINK TO PATREON







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    Episode produced and edited by Kelly Browning; show notes written by Sarah McDuffee, Marketing Director: Robyn Boren, Social Media Manager: Molly Baize, Episode mixed by Isabelle Le.

    • 54 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
73 Ratings

73 Ratings

Dara George ,

Love it!

Absolutely love the realness and passion in every episode. Easy to listen to and enlightening! Highly recommend!

jjhg22 ,

Compassionate and compelling

So thankful for this podcast! Every episode had such good thoughts and ideas. As someone who is very tired of the American church, I wasn’t sure i would enjoy. But this podcast has been so lifegiving and encouraging to me. Can’t wait to hear more!

maryk miller ,

So good!!

Thrilled to see a podcast highlighting the voices of women and their stories. I listened to the first episode and I am so inspired by the host’s vulnerability in sharing her own story. Can’t wait to listen to more episodes!