How to Lead with Clay Scroggins and Adam Tarnow

Are Questions a Form of Control? Rethinking Curiosity in Leadership

“Just ask more questions.”

It’s classic leadership advice — but what if it doesn’t land the way you think?

In this episode, we unpack a tension that’s come up again and again, especially with younger Millennials and Gen Z:

Questions can build trust, open doors, and deepen connection — but when they feel forced, transactional, or performative, they do the opposite.

We’ll explore:

  • Why the best leaders still ask great questions — but never to manipulate.

  • What younger employees are really pushing back on when they say, “Don’t interrogate me.”

  • Four practical ways to make your questions feel authentic, not artificial.

  • How to match your curiosity to the moment — whether you’re building rapport, coaching, or holding someone accountable.

  • A simple gut-check to make sure you’re asking to connect, not control.

Closing challenge:

Before you ask your next big question, ask yourself: Do I really want to know the answer?

Then pick one relationship this week and ask a better, braver question — and actually listen to what comes next.