Ask The Betrayed

Sharon & Rae
  • 5.0 (3)
  • RELATIONSHIPS

The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

  1. 2D AGO

    SURVIVING LIMERENCE

    When the unfaithful partner is in limerence, it can feel like emotional chaos - confusing, and deeply painful - for the betrayed partner. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae break down what limerence really is, why it feels so powerful, and most importantly—how you can survive it without losing yourself. If your partner seems "in love" with someone else… If you feel compared, replaced, or not enough… If you're stuck trying to understand what they see in the affair partner… This episode is for you. You'll learn: • What limerence actually is (and why it's NOT real love)  • Why the unfaithful partner's brain becomes "hijacked"  • How limerence functions like an addiction  • The critical boundary every betrayed partner must understand  • Why comparing yourself to the affair partner retraumatizes you  • What real recovery requires from the unfaithful partner – and how to spot if they're doing it • How to reclaim your self-worth and identity after limerent betrayal  This conversation also addresses: • Emotional affairs vs. fantasy-based limerence  • Why cutting off the "limerent object" is essential for healing  • The difference between a "soulmate" and a "wound mate"  • How betrayed partners can stop the cycle of self-abandonment that can result from their unfaithful partner's limerence Most importantly, this episode offers hope: Limerence can end. Healing is possible. And you can come back to yourself stronger, clearer, and more grounded than before. Related Episodes: • ATU E48 – When the Unfaithful Is "In Love" With the Affair Partner  • ATU E58 – Limerence: Can the Damage Ever Be Repaired? If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast.  🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

    29 min

  2. APR 3

    EMPATHY IN ACTION - WHEN THE UNFAITHFUL IS TRYING, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING

    What do you do when your partner is trying after infidelity… but they haven't yet moved from their head to their heart? In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae respond to a powerful listener question about a common but confusing stage of recovery: when the unfaithful partner says the right things, shows up, and is committed to healing—but still feels emotionally disconnected or "robotic." If you've ever thought: • "They're doing everything right… so why doesn't it feel better?"  • "Is this normal in recovery?"  • "Am I expecting too much—or not enough?"  You're not alone. We break down: • Why empathy is not a thought—it's an action  • The difference between intellectual responses vs emotional connection  • Why this is a predictable, and nearly universal, stage in recovery • How to offer grace for growth without lowering your standards  • Where the line is between supporting vs over-functioning  • How to invite deeper empathy without becoming your partner's therapist  • Practical phrases to help your partner move from words → felt connection  We also explore: • Why healing often happens in the messy middle (not black and white)  • How unfaithful partners develop emotional literacy over time  • Why this stage can feel confusing—but is often a sign of progress  This episode is for betrayed partners who are: ✔ Trying to understand emotional disconnection in recovery ✔ Struggling with "they're trying… but it's not landing" ✔ Learning how to hold boundaries while staying open to healing   Key Takeaway: Empathy isn't something your partner understands. It's something they do—and learn to feel over time. If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast.  🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

    28 min

  3. MAR 19

    BETRAYED PARTNERS: HOW TO BE "ALL IN" WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most misunderstood parts of infidelity recovery for the betrayed. After betrayal, everything changes. The relationship you believed in is gone, and you're left navigating uncertainty, ambivalence, and emotional disorientation. So how do you stay engaged, present, and "all in"… without losing yourself? This episode walks through the real, lived experience of being "all in" as a betrayed partner - including the courage it takes to hold space for uncertainty, tell yourself the truth, and rebuild trust in yourself before trusting the relationship again.    In This Episode, You'll Learn: • What "being all in" actually means for the betrayed partner • Why uncertainty is part of healing—not a sign of failure • The difference between betrayal vs. disappointment (and why it matters) • How to stay engaged in relational recovery without abandoning yourself • What helps lead you to clarity in recovery • How trauma distorts truth—and how to slow it down • The importance of shared goals vs. standing on opposite sides • How to hold space for: "I love you" AND "I don't love how you treat me" • What it means to trust yourself again—even when you don't know the outcome   This Episode Is For You If: • You're a betrayed partner trying to decide: stay or go • You feel stuck in uncertainty, confusion, or emotional overwhelm • You want to understand how to heal without losing yourself • You're asking: "Am I really all in… or am I just holding on?"   If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment - We'd love to hear what you took away from this podcast.  🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

    25 min

  4. MAR 12

    IS IT REASONABLE TO EXPECT EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY FROM THE UNFAITHFUL DURING BETRAYAL RECOVERY?

    Is it reasonable to expect the unfaithful to show up for your emotions after betrayal? In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae tackle one of the most common and painful questions betrayed partners ask: • "Is it fair to expect emotional availability?" • "Can I ask for empathy?" • "Am I asking for too much?" After infidelity, many betrayed partners feel confused or even guilty for wanting their unfaithful partner to show up emotionally.  But when the unfaithful don't, it can feel like a second betrayal. In this episode, we explore: • Why emotional immaturity often underlies both the affair and the emotional avoidance afterward • The survival-based parts of the unfaithful that resist connection • Why emotional shutdown is not about your worth • The difference between protection and connection • How betrayed partners can ask for what they need without over-functioning • A hugely powerful boundary betrayed partners can use immediately • Why "If in doubt, lean in" is a fundamental key to repair the unfaithful can use If you are the betrayed partner wondering whether it's reasonable to ask for empathy, truth, and emotional presence — the answer is yes. And if you are the unfaithful partner struggling to show up emotionally, this episode explains why it feels so hard — and why leaning in anyway is the path forward. Healing from betrayal trauma requires courage from both partners. Emotional availability is not optional in recovery — it is essential. If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment below! 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com

    31 min

  5. FEB 20

    Emotional Exhaustion During Recovery from Betrayal Trauma - A Powerful Solution

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma recovery: Emotional exhaustion after infidelity and during betrayal recovery; what the betrayed can do about it and how the unfaithful can support them. After D-Day, many betrayed partners feel an instinctive pull to withdraw, create boundaries, or even consider therapeutic separation. This is not about punishment of the unfaithful. It's not about giving up. And it's not about "never getting over it." It's about trauma recovery. In this episode, we discuss: Why the need for space is a natural trauma response The nervous system's need for distance after betrayal Sharon's "Wiggly Man" metaphor and validation-seeking dynamics How unfaithful partners can honor space without resentment Creating space vs. impulsive distancing and withdrawal Why being able to take space is a sign of healing — not rejection of your partner If you are the betrayed partner and feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or pulled between your needs and your partner's emotions — this conversation is for you. If you are the unfaithful partner and feel anxious when your spouse asks for distance — this episode will help you understand why honoring that request is essential for rebuilding trust and helping them heal. Recovery from betrayal trauma is not linear. The need for space ebbs and flows. And learning to navigate that well can transform your healing process. If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment below! 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    42 min

  6. FEB 6

    Take Your Power Back After Infidelity: A Proven Betrayal Recovery Tool

    In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore why betrayed partners so often internalize blame after infidelity — quietly keeping you stuck in pain, powerlessness, and re-traumatization. This conversation is about restoring choice, agency, and dignity in the middle of relational trauma. You'll learn how taking responsibility for what isn't yours can: • drain your emotional energy • fuel shame and self-doubt • blur boundaries • keep you locked in chaos instead of clarity Through real stories, clinical insight, and compassionate truth-telling, Sharon and Rae show how this tool helps betrayed partners separate what belongs to the unfaithful from what belongs to them, reclaim personal power, and make grounded, self-protective choices. In this episode, we cover: ✅ What "Quit Taking It Personally" actually means in betrayal recovery ✅ Why betrayal makes everything feel personal — even when it isn't ✅ Common blame-shifting messages betrayed partners internalize ✅ How taking things personally gives away your power ✅ The connection between Q-TIP, boundaries, and self-care ✅ Why blaming yourself can feel empowering — but isn't ✅ How to pause, reality-check, and choose clarity over chaos ✅ A simple daily practice to interrupt trauma-driven thinking This episode is especially helpful for: • betrayed partners in early recovery • those stuck in self-blame or over-responsibility • anyone working to rebuild confidence and agency after betrayal • therapists and coaches supporting betrayal trauma healing If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share — it helps others find support and hope after betrayal. 💬 Please comment below! 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    33 min

  7. JAN 26

    Deconstructing Gaslighting: What Is It, Really?

    Gaslighting after betrayal can make you question your memory, your emotions, and your reality — and that confusion is not weakness. It's a trauma response. In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Rae sits down with gaslighting specialist and CORE Relationship Recovery team member Sarah Morales (SarahMoralesCoaching.com) to break down what gaslighting actually is, why it's so damaging after infidelity, and how betrayed partners can reclaim clarity and self-trust. Sarah shares her framework for identifying gaslighting behaviors without getting trapped in the endless question: "Did they mean to?" You'll learn why gaslighting doesn't always come from narcissism, how shame can drive gaslighting patterns, and the difference between gaslighting vs. a gaslighting attempt — a powerful shift that restores agency and reduces self-doubt. We also discuss: ✅ The most common question betrayed partners ask: "Was that gaslighting?" ✅ Sarah's core definition that helps you answer that question ✅ Why gaslighting produces deep self-doubt and loss of self-trust ✅ What is Self-gaslighting?  ✅ The red flags of internalized manipulation ✅ Unfaithful partners: discerning between intention vs impact — and how gaslighting blocks repair ✅ Practical hope: how healing reduces gaslighting behaviors over time If you've ever thought, "Maybe I am too much" or "Maybe I'm crazy,"  - you're not - and this episode is for you. ✨Where to find Sarah and take her courses: Listen to her podcast: Deconstructing Gaslighting (2 seasons / 50+ episodes) For Courses, visit: https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/ → Deconstructing Gaslighting Academy TM (https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/...) Please note: "Deconstructing Gaslighting" is a Trademark (TM) of Sarah Morales and may not be used without express permission 💬 How have you been gaslighted? Please leave a comment below - we'd love to hear from you 🔔 Please Like and Subscribe for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this episode with someone rebuilding clarity after betrayal trauma. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com ) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    40 min

  8. JAN 20

    STOP BLOCKING YOUR OWN BETRAYAL RECOVERY PROCESS

    In this episode, Sharon and Rae unpack a surprisingly common barrier to healing after betrayal trauma — "Cat Poster Thinking" the mindset of believing "I already know how this works" or relying on clichés, platitudes, and intellectual over-control to cope. And while it may feel protective, it can quietly block real growth, connection, and emotional transformation.  This episode also helps the Unfaithful see how they self-limit their own growth in recovery. Together they explore: ✨ Why betrayed partners crave control after trauma ✨ How trauma filters your perception and limits what you can "see" ✨ Why intellectual insight alone can't heal a shattered heart ✨ What happens when you try to think your way out of pain ✨ How over-talking, over-explaining, and "knowing everything" disconnects you from help ✨ How to shift from head-level knowing → to heart-level healing ✨ Why receiving guidance from a trained professional is essential ✨ What real, embodied healing looks and feels like ✨ How betrayed partners can carry too much of the emotional load without being aware of it ✨ How to let go of the urge to lead, fix, or parent your unfaithful partner ✨ Simple questions & practices to move from superficial coping to deep, meaningful change This is an episode filled with stories, real-life clinical examples, neurobiological insight, and grounded wisdom. If you're stuck in trauma responses, struggling to trust your therapist, or feeling disconnected from your own healing, this conversation is for you. 💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: AskTheBetrayed@gmail.com 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: Info@HopeForUs.com ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: Rae@HealingTalksBack.com)   Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

    33 min
See All (24)

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)

Information

  • Creator
    Sharon & Rae
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Show Website
    Ask The Betrayed

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