Awakening Now

Ilona Ciunaite
  • 5.0 (2)
  • SPIRITUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Join Ilona Ciunaite for honest conversations and guided explorations into the nature of self, consciousness, and awakening. This podcast is for those who are looking not just to understand awakening, but to see it — directly, in their own experience. Each episode invites you to slow down, inquire, and notice awareness itself. Through guided Deep Looking sessions and dialogues with teachers, authors, and fellow explorers, Ilona opens the door to what many call spiritual awakening — seeing through the illusion of self, and discovering peace that doesn’t come and go. You’ll explore: – Self-inquiry and direct experience – Deep Looking and seeing beyond the mind – The process of awakening and integration – Presence, awareness, and the end of seeking Ilona Ciunaite is a guide, author, and co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. For over 14 years, she has been helping seekers all over the world discover freedom through direct experience. If you are ready to look within, this podcast offers clear guidance and grounded conversation — simple, sincere, and free of spiritual jargon

  1. 7H AGO

    There Is No Mind — So Why Can’t You Stop Thinking?

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message If there is no mind, why does it feel so loud? In this episode I look at what we call “the mind” as a living stream of thoughts appearing. Images, commentary, expectations about awakening, ideas about how this should feel and what should happen next. We explore thinking by looking at it directly. Thoughts arise. They move. They dissolve. And it becomes clear that there is simply experience unfolding. Some thoughts pass lightly. Others carry emotional charge. We look at how old hurt can still live in the system, and how protection forms around it. Over time, that protection shapes identity — “I am shy,” “I am not worthy,” “I am ashamed.” Like a rubber band stretched between pain and the desire for relief, tension builds. When hurt receives attention and space, the energy settles. The story softens. Identity loosens. Attention gently returns to direct experience — sensation, sound, color, breath. Life is already here before thought describes it. This episode is an invitation to see thinking as part of the flow of experience, and to recognize what remains present through it all — simple awareness, here and now. Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music  https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured To receive the link to the next meeting subscribe to my newsletter here https://zcmp.eu/ArU9 Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    1h 6m

  2. FEB 14

    Awakening Myths Exposed With Angelo DiLullo

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message In this episode of Awakening Now, I sit down with Angelo DiLullo to explore the myths that quietly shape how people think awakening is supposed to unfold. We look at the belief that awakening should resemble someone else’s story, feel pleasant, bring special abilities, or resolve the human experience once and for all. Angelo points directly to how these expectations form without being questioned — and how they create unnecessary confusion when real experience doesn’t match spiritual narratives. We also explore the myth that something has gone wrong when awakening feels difficult, and the assumption that safety or stability must be established before truth can be seen. Rather than offering new ideals, the conversation stays close to what is actually happening in the body, emotions, and daily life. This episode is for those who feel sincere in their inquiry yet unsure why things don’t look the way they expected. It’s an invitation to notice what may already be quietly obvious when comparison, fantasy, and self-judgment fall away. About the Guest: Angelo DiLullo, MD, is an anesthesiologist, spiritual teacher, and author. Following a profound awakening at age 24, he recognized how thoughts shape perception and that suffering is not inherent to life. Since then, he has guided others toward the recognition of natural, non-separate awareness. Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music  https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    1h 24m

  3. FEB 1

    Leading From the Dark: Shadow Work, Awakening, and Becoming More Human

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message In this episode of Awakening Now, Ilona Ciunaite is joined by Steven D’Souza — author, leadership guide, and creator of Leading From the Dark — for a deep conversation about shadow work, awakening, and becoming more human. Steven describes the shadow as “the me I don’t see,” and together we explore how it shows up through projection, strong emotional reactions, and repeating patterns that feel disproportionate to the moment. We look at how shadow material often reveals itself first in the body — as tightening, guarding, contraction, or emotional charge — and how these signals can become doorways to integration rather than problems to fix. The conversation moves through Steven’s own spiritual journey, from a traditional Catholic upbringing and time exploring the priesthood, to decades of work with leaders and organizations around the world. He shares how he approaches shadow work through multiple lenses — psychological, biological, systemic, and spiritual — and why the “dark” can be a place of transformation, like a seed in the earth or a baby in the womb. This episode is for seekers who have seen clarity and still meet contraction, for leaders interested in depth and maturity, and for anyone sensing that wholeness includes the parts that were once denied or exiled. The invitation throughout is simple: meet what arises with curiosity, safety, and compassion. Steven’s final word for the path is love. Steven’s website is: Leading From the Dark 👉 https://leadingfromthedark.com That’s where he shares his work on shadow, leadership, and negative capability, and where people can sign up for his newsletter or learn about talks and retreats. Music by Valdi Sabev  Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music  https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    56 min

  4. JAN 25

    What Is the Sense of Self, Really?

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message In this episode, I invite you to look directly at the sense of self — not as an idea or a belief, but as lived experience. Before thoughts arise, before emotions move, before any story about “me” appears, there is a simple knowing of being here. A sense of existing. A feeling of “me.” This sense of self is so familiar that it is rarely questioned and often taken for granted. Together, we explore what this sense of self actually is. Where it appears in the body. How it shows up as sensation, pressure, orientation, or effort. How it organizes experience and creates the feeling of being at the center of life. You’re invited to notice how the sense of self becomes especially clear in moments of pride or hurt, and how easily identification forms around these sensations. We look at how the sense of “me” can feel solid and personal, and what happens when it is met directly with attention. This is not about getting rid of the sense of self, fixing anything, or changing experience. It’s about seeing clearly. When the sense of self is looked at directly, something often softens. Identification relaxes. What remains is openness, presence, and a quiet knowing that does not come and go. Nothing here needs to be believed. This is an invitation to look for yourself. Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music  https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    1h 18m

  5. JAN 10 · BONUS

    After Awakening When the Body Still Contracts

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message After awakening, many people expect the body to relax and life to feel settled. The belief in a separate self has dropped, so ease should naturally follow. Yet for many, the body still contracts. Emotions rise. Old protection remains. This often creates confusion and self-doubt. In this episode, I speak about why this is a natural part of awakening, and why nothing has gone wrong. Seeing through the self illusion is a mental recognition. A belief drops. This shift is often quiet and simple. But the nervous system does not reorganize instantly. The body may still carry years of contraction and learned protection that now begins to unwind. Awakening is not only about clarity in the mind. It is also about allowing the system to feel safe enough to open. When the imagined character no longer needs protection, old defenses can soften. This process can feel uncomfortable at times, even though it is part of integration and healing. If you have already seen the truth but still feel tight, guarded, or unsettled, this episode offers reassurance. The absence of ease does not mean awakening failed. It may simply mean the body is learning that it is safe to relax. Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    20 min

  6. JAN 3

    I Understand It All, But Nothing Has Shifted

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message Many people on the spiritual awakening path reach a moment where understanding is no longer enough. You may clearly understand non-duality, awakening, or the self illusion intellectually. You may know the language, have had glimpses, and seen moments of clarity. And yet something hasn’t shifted. There is still confusion. There is still a sense of “me.” And that can feel deeply discouraging. In this episode of Awakening Now, I share an unedited recording from a live Zoom meeting where I respond to an email that says: “I understand this intellectually, but I don’t feel it.” What I hear is not failure, but honesty — a turning point where the old strategy of seeking through understanding begins to collapse. I speak about why seeing through the self illusion is not an emotional experience, and why clarity is not a feeling. Confusion, doubt, frustration, and a sense of “me” can still arise after awakening, and they do not mean you didn’t see. This conversation explores the difference between direct pointing — seeing through the illusion of a separate self — and meeting what continues to arise after that recognition. Old emotional patterns, sensations, and conditioning don’t mean you’ve gone backwards. Often, they are the next layer asking to be met. If you feel stuck after awakening, exhausted from seeking, or confused about why insight hasn’t brought lasting peace, this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and a grounded understanding of what is actually happening. Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    1h 26m

  7. 12/20/2025

    The One Question That Ends the Waiting | Won Bo (Zen Nun) on Awakening

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message Have you been craving awakening? Waiting for the moment when everything finally softens, the mind gets quiet, the heart opens, and you can finally stop searching? In this awakening now episode, I sit with Won Bo, a Lithuanian nun living in Korea. From the very first minute, something in her presence invites you to slow down, soften, and see what’s already here. Nothing dramatic. Nothing mystical. Just truth, lived by someone who has dedicated her whole life to clarity. We explore the ordinary moments seekers overlook, the craving that hides beneath “spiritual progress,” the tenderness of glimpses that fade, and the simplicity of Zen’s most direct practice: What am I? Not to find an answer… but to fall back into don’t-know, the space where awakening unfolds by itself. If you’ve ever felt “not enough,” or wondered why awakening feels distant even after years of seeking, this conversation may feel like a quiet homecoming. WHAT WE EXPLORE TOGETHER • Why she chose the monastic path  and what actually surprised her • A clear, gentle definition of awakening that removes pressure • How the Three Poisons silently guide your daily reactions • The subtle trap of craving awakening (and how to recognize it) • Why glimpses fade and why that isn’t a failure • A practice you can use at any moment of your day • How “don’t-know” becomes a lived, spacious way of being If you want to explore this more deeply, I created a short guide called Introduction to Deep Looking. It’s a gentle way to meet what’s here and begin unwinding the tension underneath seeking. You can receive it by signing up on my website.  Here is the link: https://ilonaciunaite.com/deep-looking-ebook/ If you read it and something moves in you, you are always welcome to write to me and share what opened. Subscribe to my Newsletter for free monthly Zoom meetings: https://ilonaciunaite.com/subscribe/ Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed musichttps://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured ⚠️ DISCLAIMER This content is for educational purposes only and **not** a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If anxiety is severe or you have thoughts of self-harm, please seek help from a licensed mental-health professional immediately. Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    1h 4m

  8. 11/29/2025

    The Reality of Awakening: Why the Honeymoon Fades and How to Meet What Returns

    Send me your thoughts in a Text Message Awakening is a shift in perception, a clear seeing of what you are and what you’ve mistaken yourself for. it reveals what was here all along You’re listening to Awakening Now, a podcast for those who are on the path of self-discovery and spiritual awakening. This is episode number 115. The Reality of Awakening: Why the Honeymoon Fades and How to Meet What Returns My name is Ilona Ciunaite. I’m a guide, an author, and co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. If you are in the process of awakening, this space is for you. For 14 years, I’ve supported people through awakening—both the clarity and the confusion that follow the first insight. This episode brings together three segments from a single live meeting, offering a clear look at the reality of awakening beyond the initial insight. We explore the honeymoon phase of awakening—why early openness and clarity fade, why old conditioning returns, and how awakening is not a final event but an ongoing recognition of presence. This part brings clarity to seekers who feel confused when expansion shifts into contraction. The episode then moves into two practical sessions on emotional integration. First, we meet an inner child that has been calling for attention and driving compulsive behaviours like overeating and seeking validation. Then, in a live session with Tammy, we look at fear, intensity, and the belief that relaxing is unsafe, and how presence meets these movements without fixing or resisting them. Throughout all three segments, the focus is on meeting emotions directly, seeing through the mind’s stories, and recognising what is already here beneath every wave.  If you like to receive updates, subscribe here:  Https://ilonaciunaite.com/subscribe Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed musichttps://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured Support the show Websites http://ilonaciunaite.com http://liberationunleashed.com

    1h 22m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Join Ilona Ciunaite for honest conversations and guided explorations into the nature of self, consciousness, and awakening. This podcast is for those who are looking not just to understand awakening, but to see it — directly, in their own experience. Each episode invites you to slow down, inquire, and notice awareness itself. Through guided Deep Looking sessions and dialogues with teachers, authors, and fellow explorers, Ilona opens the door to what many call spiritual awakening — seeing through the illusion of self, and discovering peace that doesn’t come and go. You’ll explore: – Self-inquiry and direct experience – Deep Looking and seeing beyond the mind – The process of awakening and integration – Presence, awareness, and the end of seeking Ilona Ciunaite is a guide, author, and co-creator of the Liberation Unleashed community. For over 14 years, she has been helping seekers all over the world discover freedom through direct experience. If you are ready to look within, this podcast offers clear guidance and grounded conversation — simple, sincere, and free of spiritual jargon

Information

  • Creator
    Ilona Ciunaite
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    122
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Awakening Now
  • Show Website
    Awakening Now

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