Back From The Borderline Mollie Adler

It’s another lively episode of BFTB, y’all. This time, we’re diving into mental health stigma, low emotional intelligence, gaslighting, and emotion dysregulation. Check out the time stamps below for a full breakdown of topics covered and questions answered.
TIMESTAMPS:
2:02 | The importance of doing nothing and cultivating silence (new research in neuroscience with tweet from Billy Openheimer)
10:18 | Voicemail from Josie regarding BPD stigma in Hollywood films (“Bodies, Bodies, Bodies”) and reframing the way we view and approach talking about our struggles with emotion dysregulation  
17:02 | Email from Christian, a first-generation immigrant struggling with his family’s antiquated views regarding mental health and invalidating behavior
24:06 | Voicemail from Sammy, who asks, “how can I tell if my friend has BPD?” (Discussion on toxic friendships and setting boundaries)
37:00 | Voicemail from Erin, who is struggling with wondering if her emotional reactions are genuine or if “it’s just the BPD” (Discussion on gaslighting, weaponization of diagnostic labels by intimate partners, and how to get a better handle on emotional reactivity)  
58:00 | Preview of this week's episode of My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health (Ep 13)
RESOURCES:
■ Billy Openheimer Twitter
■ Ryan Holiday’s YouTube channel, The Daily Stoic
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Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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One of the most common questions I receive from my podcast listeners is when, if, and how they should disclose their mental health-related diagnostic labels to their friends, family, and intimate partners. In this episode, I’ll be taking voicemails from Bella, Darrien, and Natalie – all BFTB listeners struggling with the topic of disclosure (and the regret that can often follow.)
 
Below are some questions answered and concepts covered in this episode:
 
·      Why do we often regret telling someone about a diagnosis like BPD?
·      How to handle it when it feels like people in your life begin psychoanalyzing you after you open up about a diagnostic label
·      Do you “owe” it to the people in your life to tell them about your diagnosis? (BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, Anorexia, Bulimia, etc.)
·      Understanding oversharing as a trauma response (why you do it and how to stop)
·      How to determine if someone is trustworthy enough to have access to intimate details of your life
·      How to talk about emotion dysregulation to people in your life with low levels of self-awareness and emotional intelligence
·      Challenging the stigma of men expressing emotions due to fear of judgment
·      Why overly identifying with diagnostic labels can lead us to think everything is our fault (and how this can harm our relationships with ourselves and others)
·      How to stop over-apologizing
 
Timestamps:
 
4:27 | Voicemail from Bella (struggling with when to tell people about her BPD diagnosis and the deep shame and regret she feels after disclosing)
20:13 | Voicemail from Darrin (struggling with being a young man in the mid-west with a family and community who stigmatizes male displays of emotion – also feels like his family uses his mental health struggles as a scapegoat)
33:40 | Voicemail from Natalie (5 months into her relationship with her current girlfriend, Natalie feels like she is overly self-aware of her BPD traits – she called in because she is beginning to feel like she over-apologizes and tends to think every conflict is her fault)
44:06 | Preview of “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” Episode 12 “Crazymakers”
 
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Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional
To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.



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In this episode, we delve into the topic of splitting, a common behavior that can have both adaptive and maladaptive consequences. Splitting is associated with various mental health “disorder” and “dysfunction” labels, including BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and more.
Through the lens of esoteric and historical spiritual practices, we examine what splitting is, how it affects our lives, and the psychological conditions and disorders associated with it. We also explore how polarized thinking impacts our relationships with ourselves and others and how it keeps us stuck in patterns of dysfunctional behavior.
We examine the connection between splitting and borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder labels and how it impacts our pursuit of perfectionism. We also explore the relationship between splitting and object relations theory and how it influences our ability to see nuance in people and ideas.
We also discuss practical ways to begin dismantling black-and-white thinking and developing a growth mindset instead of a fixed one. We share tips and strategies that listeners can begin implementing in their daily lives to see the grey areas of life and transform their thinking patterns.
Lastly, we take a voicemail from a listener named Charlie, who is struggling with feelings of shame and guilt after her partner expressed how her extreme emotional reactions were affecting him psychologically.
Join us in this thought-provoking and enlightening episode as we explore the complex world of splitting, mental health, and spiritual expansion. Tune in for the opportunity to become awakened to some of the ways your deeply engrained patterns of thinking and behaving might be keeping you stuck and disconnected from yourself, the people you love, and the world around you.
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Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.



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Are you tired of feeling like your intimate relationships just aren't fulfilling? Do you find yourself getting resentful and angry at your partner because they don't seem as excited to see you or make as much effort as they used to? Well, you're not alone.
In today's episode, we're going to explore the topic of codependency and unrealistic expectations in relationships. We'll talk about the concept of control dramas and how they can push love away, leaving you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.
We'll also be responding to a voicemail from a listener who's struggling with these issues and is afraid she's sabotaging her chance at finding true love and intimacy. By the end of the episode, you'll have a better understanding of how to identify your needs in a relationship and how to communicate them to your partner in a way that doesn't end in an emotional explosion.
So, grab a cup of tea, sit back, and join me as we explore the ins and outs of codependency and how to create healthy and fulfilling relationships.
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By becoming a patron, you’ll gain access to my private podcast, “My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health” (4 episodes released each month), and my monthly newsletter, where I share articles, YouTube videos, podcast episodes, and book recommendations. You’ll also get to interact with other listeners of the podcast.
Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.



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In this episode, we explore the topic of personality masks and how they can block access to your true Self. To understand this complex and nuanced topic, we’ll start by understanding exactly how to understand the concepts of “Self” and “personality” and examine the signs that might indicate that you’re “masking” your true personality.
You’ll learn how to spot the signs that might indicate that you’re masking your true Self and discuss why many of us resort to personality masks as a defense or coping mechanism while shedding light on the various mental health conditions commonly associated with masking (ADHD, Autism, BPD, to name a few.)
Also provided in this episode are tips on how to tell if you're masking, along with examples of personality masking behaviors. We examine the different types of personality masks people commonly use and reveal the negative consequences of personality masking (especially when it happens unconsciously).
If you suspect you're masking, this episode will help you understand how to begin the journey of unmasking and connecting with a version of yourself that feels more authentic and aligned.
🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline.
Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.



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Are you interested in exploring the often-overlooked connection between Autism and BPD/EUPD? In this episode, Dr. Jay Watts and I dive deep into the topic, discussing the reasons why women and AFAB individuals are less likely to be diagnosed with autism and exploring common autistic traits that are missed in women.
Listeners will gain insight into the coping strategies of autistic "masking" and "camouflaging" that are often missed in women and girls, as well as the characteristic "special interests" of women with autism. Together, we also unpack the harmful stigma that arises from the BPD/EUPD labels and how people with these labels are stigmatized in psychiatric settings.
Recent events, such as the reversal of the decision to remove BPD and EUPD labels from the ICD-10 due to issues with the American insurance systems, highlight the urgent need for a more nuanced understanding of psychiatric labels. We explore how BPD and cPTSD traits are rooted in trauma and touch on the chronic feelings of emptiness and suicidality experienced by individuals with these labels.
Finally, we delve into the potentially harmful effects of DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) and the importance of informed consent in psychiatric treatment when it comes to treatment modalities and psychiatric medications.
Join Dr. Watts and me as we unpack the complex intersections of Autism and BPD/EUPD and challenge the stigma surrounding psychiatric labels.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Dr. Jay Watts is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, senior lecturer, and dedicated mental health activist working in London. Dr. Watts has held many senior clinical and managerial roles in academia and the National Health Service in the UK and has taught clinical skills in clinical psychology, counseling psychology, and psychoanalytic training courses.
Activism is also a core part of Jay’s personal and professional identity. She believes in the importance of highlighting both the helpful and potentially harmful nature of psychology and psychotherapy. Jay is consistently using her own social capital, clinical experience, and research skills to assist grassroots organizations and survivor groups.
JAY’S RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
■ Follow Jay on Twitter @Shrink_at_Large
■ Jay’s articles about BPD and trauma can be found here
■ Protest letter about removing BPD from the diagnostic manual, ICD11 can be found here
■ A Simple Guide To Avoid Receiving A Diagnosis Of ‘Personality Disorder’
■ Should CAMH professionals be diagnosing BPD in adolescence?
■ Join the campaigns mentioned by Jay on Twitter using:  #TraumaNotPD and #AutismNotPD
🦋 UNLOCK PREMIUM PODCAST ACCESS AND JOIN THE BFTB COMMUNITY ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline
Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
To unlock BFTB bonus content, visit https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.