Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

4.8 (66)
SCIENCE FICTION
UPDATED BIWEEKLY

A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen! While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat. Join us on our haphazard adventure.

12/18/2025

Damage

The fight is over. One by one our rescuers find each other again. Boris, Fron and Bortis leave a grim discovery behind them, while Vache and Nine Blades realize a new mission. At the last moment, Dr. Ze hears Cleo in the darkness. The whole party is back together, so many foes have been bested, and they have their heading… …but the damage has been done. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠ Vache de Mer -- ⁠⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠⁠ Fronn -- Whiskey Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Skia Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1h 28m
11/19/2025

Best friends friends

When the going gets tough, the tough split the party. (…Right?) The hunt for Cleo continues, as the Cap/Bastard rescue squad spreads through the BioLife flagship like a handful of subpar nanites. Ze kicks us off by taking one for the universe by locking himself in with Robin to both protect the party, and gather intel. Together, they discover that Robin is not the only big fish in this pond. While Ze goes brain to brain with a fellow brain, Bortis, Boris, and Fron come together to form the Best Friends Force (BFF). Or is it Best Friend’s Friends? Either way, they’re in the vents and they’re fueled by the undeniable power of friendship, which might be the strongest bet we’ve got. Vache, Nine Blades and Margo on the other hand, go for a distraction maneuver, leaving them to stumble upon a certain high level manager all on their lonesome... All the while Cleo is fighting against the clock for her life. Move your big toe, damnit! Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠ Vache de Mer -- ⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠ Fronn -- Whiskey Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1h 32m
10/23/2025

An eerie presence feat. Fiona K. T. Howat and Hamilton

The plan is working, and our crew is aboard the BioLife ship, where wave after wave of guards welcome them. It's the fastest slow going you could hope for, while Boris, Trevor, Dr. Ze, The Nine Blades and Vache fight to clear the halls, and our Cleo fights to stay alive. Every BioLife lackey between the rescue team and Cleo is a bag of extracted blood, a few million nanites, a last minute stalling tactic. Regardless, our rescuers have boarded, and it's enough work to stay alive. There is no time to stop and consider the small pull at the edge of their minds... An eerie presence somewhere in the ship. There is something more dangerous than just soldiers here. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠ Vache de Mer -- ⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Nine Blades -- ⁠Hamilton⁠ Fronn -- Whiskey Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠ Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1h 17m
09/27/2025

Surprise Surprise feat. Fiona K. T. Howat and Hamilton

The Caps, The remaining Bastards, and… Margo’s BioLife escapee friends, are teaming up to bring back Cleo. Vache de Mer and The Nine Blades have been captured by BioLife almost more times than they can count. (They are after all, remnants of experiments failed.) Which is why they’re Margo’s ticket to stealthily finding the BioLife stronghold that’s holding Cleo. The plan is airtight. Set a trap, lay the bait, wait for capture- and send the whole dang team in to infiltrate. All we need is for the right interstellar space corporation to drive by. Sure hope the fish are bitin’. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠ Vache de Mer -- Fiona K.T. Howat⁠ The Nine Blades -- Hamilton Fronn -- Whiskey Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Skia Ambiance sound support by ⁠Jamie Nord⁠ and ⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠White Bat Audio⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠Realm⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠Patreon⁠: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠ ⁠Join our Discord⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1h 23m
09/10/2025 · BONUS

Short Stories | Robin

Cleo and Robin almost made it. Together they saw the light at the end of the proverbial BioLife hallway. But of course, that was the plan. The scientists bring Robin into Cleo’s cell for one last chat, hoping to wring out the last of their secrets before they eke out the last of her nanites. There can’t be much left, now. Just about a seed’s worth, if anything at all. Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the second of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 min
08/27/2025 · BONUS

Short Stories | Sanctuary

After the battle at Garcia Station, many Synths accepted M8’s offer of Sanctuary. They heard the code, and they answered the call- not fully understanding what it might mean to be free. The idea itself was a reshaping. To help them along, M8 regales the Synths with tales and visions of Sanctuary, and the great possibility that awaits them all. But as they pull into view, they find that M8’s wondrous data does not quite match what they find there… Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the third of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 min
08/13/2025 · BONUS

Short Stories | Taxi

Back on Prospect Town, our old friend Parter has picked up three rather pompous officers. They’re loud, they’re crass, and they’re bragging in the backseat about destroying the local restaurant "Stu's" (home of “The Everything”!), and discussing their top secret mission to retrieve an "immortal Ursine" from BioLife. They might want to be careful about who they talk around though- because loose lips sink ships, even in space… Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the third of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 min
07/30/2025 · BONUS

Short Stories | The Art of Getting Caught feat. Hamilton and Fiona K. T. Howat

While the Bastards and The Caps are busy planning their rescue mission, Margo is busy hunting down her own backup plan. Deep in the jungle on a desolate planet, Margo is tracking down the perpetually-captured duo known as "Nine Blades", (despite having only eight visible), and his precognitive partner Vache de Mer. With their “help”, Margo hatches a scheme to infiltrate BioLife and save Cleo. Her plan? Use Vache and Nine Blades’ unique talent for getting themselves captured by BioLife, as the ultimate Trojan Horse operation. By hiding the Bastard/Cap crew in their stolen BioLife ship and letting themselves get "caught" for the third time, they can infiltrate the facility from the inside and give BioLife "the spicy tickles" they deserve. It's a plan so crazy, it just might work… Season 4 is finally here after a big break, and we are bringing you in smooth! This is the second of a collection of short stories, meant to recap the events up to the opening of Season 4. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- ⁠⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠ Vache de Mare -- Fiona K. T. Howat 9Blades -- Hamilton Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 min

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TRAILER

Backwater Bastards Trailer

The Bastards are BACK, and officially in orbit! We know you’ve all had enough of being gravity-bound- so we’re kicking this joint for a new star system. Join the same motley crew for new stories, new characters, a brand new universe, and all-new game mechanics designed by our very own DM Dragon Daddy Dick Dynamite. So buckle your EVA suits to yer control decks- cause a bear and a jellyfish just landed in the station and this PILOT is taking you on a RIIIIIDE! - Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews - Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com Join our Discord! Get bonus content on Patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

04/07/2020

•

1 min

This is the home of THE LEVIATHAN CHRONICLES, THE RAPSCALLION AGENCY & THE INVENIOS EXPEDITIONS. Currently, we are releasing our Seasonal Holiday Episodes. These are fun, semi-serious vignettes of your favorite characters (and Producers) from the Leviathan Universe. We ONLY release these episodes in December then they go away for the rest of the year, so listen NOW! The Leviathan Chronicles is a full cast audio drama about a race of immortals that have been secretly living in a hidden city called Leviathan, deep under the Pacific Ocean. For centuries, the utopian society has existed in peace, gently influencing world events on the surface. But soon, a civil war erupts between the immortals that wish to stay hidden, and those that want to integrate fully with the rest of mankind on the surface. A clandestine division of the CIA known as Blackdoor discovers the immortals’ existence and seeks to eliminate the perceived threat that they represent to U.S. sovereignty. Soon, a three-way war erupts across the globe as each faction fights for supremacy, leaving the fate of the world hanging in the balance. Discover more podcasts set in the Leviathan Universe at www.leviathanaudioproductions.com.

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4.8

out of 5

66 Ratings

Still Active?

06/24/2025

LasombraLordXXX

This was one of my favorite podcasts. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if they’re ever coming back though. Still worth the listen.
Wonderful

03/05/2024

Estiviro

Fantastic show with wonderful editing and compelling stories that evolve with the cast.
Fun story, great antics

10/26/2023

kbbaus27

Season 2 is firing on all cylinders. The cast (including the DM) has such amazing chemistry and the story is engaging. And on top of that, they're all hilarious. I also love that most of the pop culture references and jokes seem perfectly tailored to me.
Voice acting

01/11/2024

Traelin10

I love humor, sci fi, short story format, and Realm in general. But these are some of the most annoying voice acting choices I’ve heard. Wouldn’t mind a remix that has the stories using voice actors in their natural tones, and not as if they’re in a Cartoon Network audition.