Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

  1. 12/18/2025

    Marie Antoinette, Part 2

    It's now time to rate one of history's most notorious queens! ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 18m

  2. 12/11/2025

    Marie Antoinette, Part 1

    By popular demand, we have an in-betweeny episode on the most famous woman in all of French history. How much was she really to blame for the disasters leading up to the Revolution? This episode we go through the main events of Marie Antoinette’s life. Next time we will rate her and leave behind the Ancien Regime for good! ⚜️ Music used in this episode: Intro music: ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. Music under Maria Theresa’s letter: “Don Juan, Wq. 52: III. Andante” performed by English Baroque Soloists, conducted by John Eliot Gardiner, ℗ 1982 Warner Classics International. Composed by Christoph Willibald Gluck, a favourite composer of the Austrian court at the time. Outro music: “Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. posth., No. 2: Adagio” performed by Zhou Qian and the Toronto Chamber Orchestra, conducted by Kevin Mallon, ℗ 2004 Naxos. Composed by Joseph Boulogne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, a mixed-race composer popular at Marie Antoinette’s court. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 3m

  3. 11/19/2025

    Louis XVI, Part 2

    This episode, we will rate and review Louis XVI, the last king of France before the Revolution blows everything apart. Will he get through to the Tournement, or will he be guillotined a second time? ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠.   ⚜️   Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 18m

  4. 10/26/2025

    Louis XVI, Part 1

    This episode, we finally get to the beginnings of the French Revolution and how it affected one Louis XVI, a King of France who was in way over his head, to put it mildly. Why did the revolution start in his reign? What weird hobbies did he indulge in the meantime? And next episode, will we be guillotining him AGAIN?   ⚜️ RECOMMENDATIONS Go learn more about the French Revolution with these handy recommendations! - ⁠Revolutions ⁠podcast by Mike Duncan - ⁠Grey History⁠ podcast by Will Clark - ⁠A New World Begins: The History of the French Revolution⁠ by Jeremy D. Popkin (audiobook read by Pete Cross)   ⚜️MUSIC This week's outro music is a 1791 revolutionary song "⁠Poursuite et retour de la Famille Ci-devant Royale⁠", celebrating the failure of the Flight to Varennes. This version was recorded by Michel Godard and released by Alpha Records in 2011 on the album "France 1789: Révolte en musique d'un sans-culotte & d'un royaliste". Also used in this episode was "⁠La Marseillaise⁠", performed by Rouget de Lisle and the London Symphony Orchestra, produced by Kurt List and digitally remastered in 2002 by EMI Records Ltd. Battle Royale's intro/outro music as usual is ⁠⁠⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠⁠⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠. ⚜️ Visit our ⁠⁠Wordpress ⁠⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠⁠Email⁠⁠, or follow us on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, our ⁠⁠Facebook Group⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠BlueSky⁠⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 30m

  5. 08/29/2025

    Louis XV, Part 2

    It's time to get down to brass tax and rate Louis XV. Was he the do-nothing king later historians have tarred him as? And are good intentions and pretty art enough to save him from the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 11m

  6. 08/23/2025

    Louis XV, Part 1

    Not quite the Sun King, not quite the Revolution guy, Louis XV sits between two way more famous kings of France and is often a forgotten footnote of history, despite ruling for a very long time during France's great Enlightenment period. Will he stand toe-to-toe with other kings, or will he get lost in the mix? ⚜️   Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!   Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky.   Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.   You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses.   ⚜️   Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here. Our outro music was "Rameau's 'Les Sauvages'", a famous harpsichord piece from Louis XV's reign. It is played by Jean Rondeau and is available on his album "Vertigo" ((c) Warner Classics) or on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 28m

  7. 06/19/2025

    60.5 - Philippe II of Orléans (the Regent)

    Louis XIV is dead, and his heir is a 5-year-old child. With so many deaths occurring in the royal family, it falls to an unlikely royal nephew, Philippe, duke of Orléans, to govern France until Louis XV comes of age. Completely unlike the callous old Sun King, Philippe is a man of the people who spurned Versailles and lived as a boisterous libertine. What kind of regent will this man be? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Other music used for this episode: "Sonata for cello and Continuo in B flat, RV.47 - 1. Largo" by Antonio Vivaldi, performed by Christophe Coin, Ageet Zweistra and Christopher Hogwood. ℗ 1987 Decca Music Group Limited ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. 1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? 2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? 3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? 4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? 5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 35m

  8. 05/09/2025

    Louis XIV, Part 3

    Now that we've finished Louis XIV's life, we're going back to fill in some details and decide what score the Sun King should get. Will he escape the guillotine? ⚜️   Visit our ⁠Wordpress ⁠for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!   Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠.   Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen.   You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses.   ⚜️   BattleRoyale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 58m
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Trailer

4.6
out of 5
68 Ratings

About

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2025
  • Episodes
    120
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Battle Royale: French Monarchs
  • Show Website
    Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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