Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
  • 4.6 (68)
  • EDUCATION
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

  1. 4D AGO

    Napoleon I, Part 1

    From obscure Corsican officer to Emperor of the French, this episode we chart the rise of Napoleon Bonaparte in the first of his 3 episodes. There is so much about this man to cover, and we have still only scratched the surface. Fitting that this episode is coming out on Easter, since Napoleon not only resurrected the French church, but his episode is also filled with Easter eggs for long-time listeners as we get the return of Italian Wars, another bout of Black Death and Pope Slap 2: Napoleon Edition! ⚜️ This episode's outro music is "le chant du départ", a popular military anthem from Napoleon's reign, performed by Roger Roger et son Orchestre, 1957. Battle Royale's intro music is ⁠⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠⁠here⁠⁠. ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 31m

  2. MAR 23

    Maximilien Robespierre, Part 2

    We have reached the dramatic apex of Robespierre's career, as the French Revolution spirals into its most violent phase: the Reign of Terror. But how long will this reign last? And how will Robespierre's legacy compare to those of the monarchs he destroyed? ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 19m

  3. MAR 15

    Maximilien Robespierre

    This episode we get deeper into the French Revolution, from the eyes of the radical politician Maximilien Robespierre. Society is about to change rapidly and shockingly in the leadup to the Reign of Terror, including a new calendar which will leave Eliza outraged. ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. Our outro is "Ça ira", a French Revolutionary song, performed by the late great Edith Piaf. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 14m

  4. JAN 27 ·  BONUS

    Madame de Pompadour

    Go to patreon.com/battleroyalepodcast to listen to Part 2, and our entire spinoff series on the French royal mistresses. Jeanne Antoinette "Reinette" Poisson was born into a disgraced middle-class Parisian family and thanks to her own beauty, charm and wit managed to climb the greasy pole to become Louis XV's most famous and powerful mistress. This episode we recount her life's story from birth to death. In Part 2 we get deeper into how she wielded power and what we ultimately scored her. ⚜️ Thank you to Rob from Totalus Rankium for creating the funky theme for our Mistress series! ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 17m

  5. JAN 8

    Louis XVII (the Lost Dauphin)

    We unravel the mystery that haunted Europe for over a century: What happened to the son of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinettte after they met their tragic end? It's a real True Crime mystery that will take us from the worst days of the Reign of Terror to the deepest depths of the American West. Only now, over 200 years later, do we finally have the answer. ⚜️ Music used in this episode included a piano rendition of Mozart's "Lacrimosa", perfromed by Soviet pianist Maria Yudina in 1954. Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠⁠here⁠⁠. ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 4m

  6. 12/18/2025

    Marie Antoinette, Part 2

    It's now time to rate one of history's most notorious queens! ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 20m

  7. 12/11/2025

    Marie Antoinette, Part 1

    By popular demand, we have an in-betweeny episode on the most famous woman in all of French history. How much was she really to blame for the disasters leading up to the Revolution? This episode we go through the main events of Marie Antoinette’s life. Next time we will rate her and leave behind the Ancien Regime for good! ⚜️ Music used in this episode: Intro music: ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. Music under Maria Theresa’s letter: “Don Juan, Wq. 52: III. Andante” performed by English Baroque Soloists, conducted by John Eliot Gardiner, ℗ 1982 Warner Classics International. Composed by Christoph Willibald Gluck, a favourite composer of the Austrian court at the time. Outro music: “Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. posth., No. 2: Adagio” performed by Zhou Qian and the Toronto Chamber Orchestra, conducted by Kevin Mallon, ℗ 2004 Naxos. Composed by Joseph Boulogne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, a mixed-race composer popular at Marie Antoinette’s court. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. ⚜️ Visit our website ⁠for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found ⁠on our website⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 3m

  8. 11/19/2025

    Louis XVI, Part 2

    This episode, we will rate and review Louis XVI, the last king of France before the Revolution blows everything apart. Will he get through to the Tournement, or will he be guillotined a second time? ⚜️ Visit our website for episode images, score summaries and more! Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠. Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠.   ⚜️   Details of our 5 categories used to rate the French Monarchs can be found on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 18m
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Trailer

4.6
out of 5
68 Ratings

About

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    125
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Battle Royale: French Monarchs
  • Show Website
    Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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