Be Better.

Harrison Orr
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This podcast is for successful men who feel reactive or disconnected at home and want to become calm, confident, grounded leaders. I’m Harrison Orr — husband, father, men's coach and creator of The Grounded Man Method — and I share the tools that helped me break Nice Guy patterns, regulate my nervous system, and rebuild connection in my marriage. Each episode gives you practical wisdom, deep conversations, and proven frameworks to help you show up stronger for yourself, your wife, and your kids. #dontbesorrybebetterFind me on IG  @theelitefather

  1. 2D AGO

    Nice Guy Lies, Ego Traps & The Beliefs Holding Your Marriage Back l EP. 79 l

    Send a text “We question every belief… except the ones we truly believe.” In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I break down the hidden beliefs that keep high-performing men stuck — in their marriage, in their identity, and in their emotional growth. Right now, a lot of people are questioning authority. Governments. Media. Institutions. Narratives. But very few men question the beliefs running their own life. The belief that: “I’m a good guy — that should be enough.”“If I’m nice and agreeable, I’ll be loved.”“I’ll just figure it out myself.”“Money won’t make me happy.”“Confidence is arrogance.”“Masculinity is toxic.”These beliefs feel virtuous.  But they quietly cap your growth. I share my own journey out of reactive nice guy patterns — how I realised confidence wasn’t arrogance, masculinity wasn’t domination, and aggression wasn’t evil… it was contextual. A grounded man isn’t weak.  He has range.  He can be calm, decisive, aggressive, compassionate — and knows when to use each. I also unpack why trying to “do it alone” keeps smart men stuck, and how ego disguises itself as independence. Every athlete, CEO, and high performer has mentorship and accountability — but when it comes to marriage and emotional leadership, men suddenly think they should just figure it out. And finally, I challenge the belief around money. Money doesn’t make you happy — unless you use it to remove the internal blocks that are keeping you disconnected, reactive, and emotionally unavailable. If you’ve covered phase one (business, income, material success) but still feel like something’s missing… this episode is phase two work. Challenge the beliefs.  Then take action. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE  If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    29 min

  2. 6D AGO

    Stop Tolerating Mediocrity in Your Marriage: The Standards High-Performing Men Avoid l EP. 78 l

    Send a text “Stop tolerating mediocrity. You wouldn’t do it in your business — but you’re still doing it at home.” In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I’m calling out the quiet standard gap that a lot of financially stable, high-performing men live with for years. You don’t tolerate “good enough” in your business.  If ads aren’t working, you pivot. If something is broken, you fix it. If performance is dropping, you tighten the standard. But in your marriage? A lot of men keep repeating the same pattern for years — hoping it’ll magically improve “once things calm down,” “once the kids are older,” “once the next milestone hits.” It won’t. The first lie: “I provide financially. Isn’t that enough?” This is phase-one success. Survival. Material security.  And if that’s all you bring… it’s going to sting… but you’re replaceable. Because what your wife and kids actually need isn’t more money, another holiday, or a nicer car.  They need you — your grounded presence. The version of you that can hold pressure at home.  The dad your kids can bring their truth to without you losing your shit.  The husband your wife can feel in the room — not just physically there, but present. Because when you’re not safe to be real with, people don’t tell you the truth.  They stop sharing. They go surface-level. And over time, the relationship becomes logistics and silence. I share a story that hit me hard: a father in his 60s breaking down because his adult son never wants to spend time with him.  And the brutal truth underneath it: the son learned early, “Dad’s too busy. Dad’s too tired. I’m not a priority.”  Years later, the roles reverse — and it destroys him. The second lie: “It’ll get better later.” Later is a fantasy.  Your marriage doesn’t fix itself when the kids move out. It doesn’t fix itself when you retire. It doesn’t fix itself when you hit the next revenue goal. If anything, the distance becomes more normal… until one day you realise intimacy has turned into birthdays and special occasions, and you can’t remember the last time you felt deeply connected. The third lie: “This is a marriage problem, not a me problem.” Most men can hire experts in business without ego.  But when it’s personal — marriage, intimacy, emotional leadership — shame and pride kick in. Because it stops being “data.”  It becomes identity: What does it say about me if I can’t lead at home? And that’s why so many men settle into a marriage that isn’t “that bad”… but isn’t alive either. I also share a real moment from my own relationship: a fear that sits under a lot of growth work —  “What if I change… and then you don’t love me anymore?” There’s no certainty. That’s the point.  But that fear keeps men trapped in a life that’s tolerable… not fulfilling. So here’s the audit I want you to run:  Where is there a gap between the standards you live by in business… and the standards you accept at home? Because the man you know you are — and the man you’re being in your marriage — shouldn’t be two different men. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    38 min

  3. 6D AGO

    You Don’t Need to Fix Your Marriage. You Need to Fix These 3 Things. l EP. 77 l

    Send a text “Stop going to therapy. You don’t need to fix your marriage. You need to do these three things.” In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I’m breaking down the three core drivers of distance in a relationship — and why most men keep throwing money at counselling, communication scripts, and “date night fixes”… while the real problem stays untouched. I’m speaking to the capable, high-performing man who can lead at work… but at home it turns into: constant arguments where nobody feels hearda slow drop in intimacy and polarityresentment, nagging, decision fatigue, and emotional disconnectionMost men misdiagnose the problem as “communication” or “sex.”  Those are symptoms. Not causes. Here are the three things that change everything — even if your partner doesn’t change a thing: 1) Understanding (the desire to actually understand, not defend) Most arguments aren’t a lack of communication — they’re a lack of curiosity.  The moment an issue gets raised, men go straight into defence mode, story mode, blame mode. That’s not leadership — that’s self-protection. When I can understand what’s happening inside me (the parts that hate feeling incompetent, rejected, abandoned), I stop taking everything personally… and I can actually meet my wife where she is without collapsing or counter-attacking. 2) Leadership (direction without being a dictator) Most modern marriages are bleeding polarity because the man keeps handing decision-making back to his wife: “I don’t know, up to you.”  That’s not kindness. That’s abdication.  Leadership is making offers, holding direction, and being able to pivot without tantruming when she doesn’t like the plan. It’s proving you can be trusted — through congruence and follow-through — so she doesn’t have to mother you or manage the household alone. 3) Regulation (because without it, everything becomes performance) It doesn’t matter how well you “communicate” if you’re still reactive, defensive, shut down, or subtly doing it to get a result.  Your wife can feel that.  Regulation is what gives you the space to choose your response — to stay present under emotional pressure — and to actually be felt instead of just physically “there.” I also share a simple exercise that exposes the difference between eye contact and real presence, and why most men think they’re showing up… while their partner feels alone sitting right next to them. If your life is stable — business is moving, bills are paid — but you know your marriage is quietly eroding, this episode is the recalibration. Don’t be sorry. Be better. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE  If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    32 min

  4. FEB 10

    Why You’re Still Reactive After Breathwork, Ice Baths & Nervous System Work l EP. 76 l

    Send a text If you’ve done the breathwork, ice baths, meditation, journaling, and every stress-management technique you can find — yet you’re still reactive at home — this episode explains what you’re missing. I used to think my problem was anger.  I was told I needed anger management.  To everyone else, I looked calm, chill, easy-going.  At home, I exploded. In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I break down why reactivity isn’t just a nervous system issue — and why regulating your stress alone won’t stop defensiveness, shutdown, people-pleasing, or emotional avoidance. I walk through: Why reactivity shows up as anger, freezing, avoidance, or people-pleasingThe difference between calmness and suppressionWhy breathwork can create space, but not embodimentHow your nervous system and your protective parts work togetherWhy reactivity is automatic — not a lack of disciplineHow parts formed in childhood still run the show in adult relationshipsWhat it actually means to introduce choice instead of reactionWhy being “calm” through effort becomes another exhausting performanceHow grounded masculine presence is built — not forcedThis episode is for high-performing men who: Can handle pressure at work but lose it at homeFeel like they’re “doing all the right things” but still reactWant to lead their marriage and family without suppression or explosionsAre tired of stacking more techniques on top of the same patternsIf you’re serious about outgrowing nice guy patterns and leading with grounded masculine presence — this episode will reframe everything you think you know about reactivity. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE  If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    30 min

  5. FEB 1

    Why High-Performing Men Avoid Conflict At Home: The Real Reason Hard Conversations Feel Scary (Control, Certainty, Marriage) l EP. 75 l

    Send us a text Most married, high-performing men aren’t avoiding conflict because they “want to keep the peace.” They avoid it because uncertainty feels unsafe — and when I’m not certain I can control the outcome, my system goes into defense mode. In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I break down the real reason hard conversations feel intimidating for capable men (especially men with “nice guy” traits): it’s not weakness — it’s the need for certainty and control showing up in the one domain where you can’t brute-force an outcome. I unpack what I see constantly in coaching: men who can handle pressure in business… but get reactive, defensive, or shut down at home because they’re trying to persuade instead of understand. In this episode, I cover: Why conflict avoidance is really fear of uncertainty, not “maturity”The red flag that tells me you’re not listening: you’re trying to persuade your wifeHow “my way vs your way” destroys collaboration and creates resentmentWhy the goal isn’t certainty — it’s safety in uncertaintyThe difference between situational confidence and internally-generated confidenceHow control-seeking shows up as defensiveness, over-explaining, shutdown… and angerThe leadership shift: control the controllables (your state, your actions), surrender the outcomeHow to create “you and me vs the problem” instead of “you vs me”If your life is stable — business is solid, the bills are paid — but you feel tension at home, struggle with hard conversations, and keep defaulting to avoidance or defensiveness… this episode will show you what’s actually running the show and how to lead differently. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE

    22 min

  6. FEB 1

    Why Resentment, Reactivity, and Frustration Are a Result Of YOUR beliefs - Not Other Peoples Actions l EP. 74 l

    Send us a text Most frustration, resentment, and emotional reactivity in a man’s life doesn’t come from what people do. It comes from the lens he’s using to interpret it. In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I break down the unconscious beliefs and assumptions that quietly drive how we experience our marriage, our kids, our business partners, and ourselves — often without us even realizing it. I explain why capable, high-performing men tend to take things personally, spiral into stories, or become emotionally reactive even though they’re disciplined and composed everywhere else. And why trying to “control your reactions” without addressing the underlying lens never works long term. We cover: How unconscious beliefs shape your emotional reactionsWhy resentment is usually a lens problem, not a people problemHow nervous system conditioning and protective parts drive behaviorWhy people are patterned, not random — including youHow changing the lens restores choice, not passivityWhy understanding behavior doesn’t mean tolerating itHow this applies directly to marriage, conflict, leadership, and intimacyI also walk through practical reframes that immediately reduce reactivity — including why assuming shared intent in your relationship changes everything, and how creating space between trigger and response restores grounded masculine leadership. If your life is stable on the surface but you feel reactive, frustrated, or disconnected at home — this episode will show you exactly where the problem actually lives. The question isn’t what people are doing.  It’s the story you’re telling yourself about why they’re doing it. Change the lens — and everything downstream changes with it. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE  If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    43 min

  7. FEB 1

    The Successful Man Trap: Why Smart, Disciplined Men Stay Stuck in Their Marriage l EP. 73 l

    Send us a text Most men who feel stuck in their marriage or personal life aren’t lazy, weak, or broken. They’re capable. And that’s exactly why they stay stuck. In this episode of the Be Better Podcast, I break down why high-performing, disciplined men — especially business owners and leaders — struggle most at home. The same mindset, work ethic, and problem-solving approach that built your success in business is often the thing quietly eroding connection, presence, and intimacy in your marriage. I unpack what I call the capability trap — the belief that because you’re smart, driven, and competent, you should be able to fix this on your own. I explain why doing more, trying harder, or becoming “better” at communication usually makes things worse, not better. We’ll talk about: Why capable men get stuck in Nice Guy patterns without realizing itWhy most men were never shown a model of masculine relational leadershipHow success rewards control, speed, and output — but intimacy requires presence, containment, and emotional capacityWhy personal growth without embodiment becomes another performanceThe real identity cost of change that keeps men stuck even when they know something’s offIf your life looks stable on the outside — business, finances, family — but you still feel disconnected, reactive, or unfulfilled at home or in yourself, this episode will help you understand why. Phase two of life isn’t about trying harder.  It’s about leading differently. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE  If you’re a man who’s winning on paper — business is solid, money’s handled, life looks good — but at home you still feel disconnected & not like the man you feel you should… this is for you. If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    30 min

  8. JAN 23

    Why the hardest-working men struggle most at home l EP. 72 l

    Send us a text If you’re a disciplined, high-performing man who prides himself on work ethic — and yet your marriage, presence at home, or sense of fulfillment still feels off — this episode will challenge how you define “hard work.” In this episode I break down a hard truth most successful men eventually face: The same grind that built your business can quietly destroy your intimacy, connection, and emotional leadership at home. We'll go into why: Working harder often becomes an ego-safe defaultProductivity is mistaken for presenceDiscipline gets confused with emotional regulationAnd success in phase one of life doesn’t translate to phase twoYou’ll learn: Why “doing more” stops working in marriage and fatherhoodThe difference between phase one hard (grind, sacrifice, output) and phase two hard (presence, containment, emotional access)How attachment to work ethic can block intimacy and polarityWhy men feel disconnected, reactive, or misunderstood at home — despite “doing everything right”What it actually means to be grounded, present, and emotionally solid as a manThis episode isn’t about becoming soft, passive, or losing your edge. It’s about range — the ability to work relentlessly and sit still, to lead decisively and hold emotional tension, to be powerful and present. If you’re trying to solve phase-two problems with phase-one tools, this conversation will land hard — and likely change how you approach success from here on. Want short impactful emails to help you shift & evolve delivered right to your inbox?  Join the 90 sec email club HERE If you’re a business owner or high-performing man whose life is stable on paper — but your marriage feels flat, your presence at home feels off, or you’re tired of trying harder without real depth or connection click below to apply for coaching. Apply HERE  If you’re a high-performing man who’s capable and respected at work, but finds yourself reactive, tense, or second-guessing yourself at home, this will resonate. In this free masterclass, I break down why so many capable men keep reverting under pressure — especially in their marriage — and what actually creates grounded, steady, self-led leadership that holds when it matters most. Watch Unshakeable Masculine Le

    26 min
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About

This podcast is for successful men who feel reactive or disconnected at home and want to become calm, confident, grounded leaders. I’m Harrison Orr — husband, father, men's coach and creator of The Grounded Man Method — and I share the tools that helped me break Nice Guy patterns, regulate my nervous system, and rebuild connection in my marriage. Each episode gives you practical wisdom, deep conversations, and proven frameworks to help you show up stronger for yourself, your wife, and your kids. #dontbesorrybebetterFind me on IG  @theelitefather

Information

  • Creator
    Harrison Orr
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    81
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Be Better.
  • Show Website
    Be Better.