Before I Go

Vision Quest Communications, Inc.

ABOUT BEFORE I GO…Embracing the Journey of MAiD: “Death is not an ending but a change of worlds.” Indigenous nations have a long history with ceremony and tradition around death. A member of the Gitxaala Nation in BC, Marion Brown has Pulmonary Hypertension (PH). PH is a chronic progressive condition that will, as with other members of her family, eventually take her life. And so, Marion has made the decision to use the MAiD program when she feels the time is appropriate. An experienced documentary producer and interviewer in her own right, Marion will turn the microphone around on herself. Along with family and many professional experts, she and her daughter Danielle will share this extraordinary journey with you. By openly discussing the experience of choosing medical assisted dying through an Indigenous lens, along with wisdom and stories – about family & ancestors, history & trauma, healing & love – Marion and Dani hope that their journey will provide unique and thoughtful perspectives, encourage your own conversations with those close to you, and perhaps provide some comfort. After all, living & dying are the human experiences we all share. Join us bi-weekly for some of the most profound and thought-provoking conversations of a lifetime. *****CONTENT WARNING***** Each episode of this podcast touches on subjects related to trauma, misogyny, racism, medical racism, sexual misconduct, Residential Schools, as well as many aspects of death and dying. Self-care is our priority, and we ask that you please take care as you listen, step away for a break when you need to, and use the resources below for support. *****RESOURCES***** Mental Health Support Resources: https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/ , 24/7 telephone: 1-855-242-3310, Online chat NIHB Mental Health Services regional office First Nations Health Authority (BC), Toll-free: 1-866-913-0033, info@fnha.ca MAiD Resources: https://www.fnha.ca/what-we-do/healthy-living/end-of-life-journey/medical-assistance-in-dying Centre for Education and Research on Aging https://nctr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/When-the-Time-Comes-Final-Edit-and-Format3510-march-24.pdf https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/blog/reclaiming-cultural-teachings-about-mortality-grief-loss-death-and-dying/ https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/doula-list-maid/ https://camapcanada.ca/ https://abo-peoples.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CAP-2024-FinalReport-PEOLC-MAID_WEB_EN-.pdf Grief & Loss Support Resources: https://www.beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing/ https://www.hospicenorthwest.ca/services/outreach-program/ https://lumarasociety.org/indigenouswellness/ , 1-866-9LUMARA, info@lumarasociety.org https://livingmyculture.ca/ Indigenous Books on Grief and Loss:https://www.strongnations.com/store/item_list.php?it=1&cat=3027 Residential School Support Resources: https://www.irsss.ca/ , 1-800-721-0066 for Survivors and Their Families https://nctr.ca/contact/survivors/ , The National Residential School Crisis Line 1-866-925-4419

  1. Episode 1

    Is the emotional cost of this worth it?

    Marion and Dani return for S2, after some really honest conversations about the emotional and psychological cost of showing up authentically in this podcast. S1 began as Marion navigated what she understood to be her final year of life. She had chosen MAiD and was getting things in order. This shared podcast with Dani was part of her legacy. At the end of S1, Marion was approved for a miracle drug that slowed the progression of PH, giving Marion a chance to shift her perspective and revisit what it means to live with intention. Dani had to shift her role as care provider which raised a lot of questions. If daily—or even hourly—monitoring of her mom is no longer needed…, what does she do now? If her main purpose in life has been to care for someone else, who is she now? What does she do with the anticipatory grief she has lived with for so long? And what does self-care look like, when someone else’s care has been her priority?  Season 2 explores caregiving and the experiences of care providers with honesty. We’ll look at the realities of self-care and how we can and should reframe our attitudes towards taking care of ourselves. Dani and Marion have chosen to continue this sacred and meaningful work of normalizing these difficult conversations in the hope that other carers listening will feel seen, heard and respected. We will all continue to be honest and present on the next chapter of this journey.  Welcome to Season 2 of Before I Go. Vision Quest Communications, the producers of Before I Go, gratefully acknowledge the financial support of Indigenous Screen Office - iso-bea.ca You can also watch full Season 2 episodes on our YouTube channel.

  2. Episode 2

    We Can't Fix What We Don't Acknowledge

    In Episode 2, Marion and Dani continue to learn from the experiences of care providers. They welcomed Don Versluis, Educator and one of Canada's first Nurse Practitioners, to provide medical assistance in dying (MAiD) in 2016. Touching on the different attitudes towards MAiD between provinces, the one thing that remains consistent is that over 90% of those using MAiD are affluent white folks. Why? Why aren’t Indigenous people and other minorities using this option? The reasons are complex and include medical racism, systemic discrimination, and intergenerational trauma that has resulted in broken trust. As Marion says, “We can’t fix what we don't acknowledge.” And Dani reflects that it is hard to maintain hope when the questions on the way to the hospital are “Will they treat me as a human, as worthwhile?” “Will they believe my pain?", “Will they hurt me?” Dani asks how we can build bridges of connection between our systems and institutions to make healing universal? And both Don and Marion offer thoughtful and actionable suggestions. The conversation shifts to perspectives around MAiD, and Don describes it as "enacting personal autonomy, empowering someone to remain in control over how their end of life looks.” Marion asks Don about his responsibilities, which he explains are first, to adhere to safeguards and legislated processes in assuring consent, and then, to incorporate beliefs, values and meaning-making that is important to the patient. He notes that this often includes an opportunity for productive grieving, healing and resolution. Dani asks Don what advice he has for families to medically advocate for loved ones, as well as what supports are available for families left behind, feeling loss. (You can find Don's links to support services in the “resources” section of the podcast description.) All three acknowledge the privilege of being a part of someone’s end-of-life journey. And about the beauty that can be found there. But it is crucial to remember that this work is profound and deeply affecting. Don shares his learnings around self-care, which include a community of empathetic supporters, respecting his own values, and how MAiD has diminished his capacity for negativity and taught him to prioritize joy. And finally, Dani and Marion reflect on how much power there is in these conversations, in making time for critical thinking, having hard conversations,  and in connecting with empathetic, compassionate and understanding people. Dani and Marion will continue to normalize these difficult conversations and hope that those of you who are caregivers and providers feel seen, heard and respected. Until next time with ever more questions, thank you for listening or watching. LINKS Island Health Resources: https://www.islandhealth.ca/health-topics/medical-assistance-dying-maid/medical-assistance-dying-maid/bereavement-group-maid Within that website is a link to a PDF, also attached here: https://www.islandhealth.ca/health-topics/medical-assistance-dying-maid/medical-assistance-dying-maid/bereavement-group-maid#:~:text=MAiD%20Bereavement%3A%20A%20Guide%20for%20Patients%20%26%20Families More specific to the Indigenous community, there is a Government of Canada document on Indigenous perspectives at the end of life. That resource is linked here: https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/programs/engagement-indigenous-perspectives-medical-assistance-dying/what-we-heard.html Episode Guide 0:00 – Check‑in, presence, and gratitude: Marion & Dani open Season 2  1:30 – Introducing Dr. Don Versluis & his work with MAID  2:43 – Marion’s decision to choose MAID after her sister’s death  7:22 – Don’s path into MAID practice and early system challenges  10:48 – What MAID is, in practice, and the relief of eligibility  12:09 – Pushback, hate mail, and leaving social media as a MAID provider  15:16 – Alberta’s Bill 18 and growing barriers to MAID access  17:01 – “Weaponized Christianity,” autonomy, and relief in choosing MAID  18:58 – Why 90%+ of MAID users are white: racism, access, and broken trust  21:28 – Historical and ongoing medical racism, including coerced sterilization  25:12 – Allies, queer history, and hope for systemic change  27:18 – Indian hospitals, epigenetics, and the long road to Indigenous healing  29:53 – How family disagreement can impact a MAID request  33:25 – Beauty at the end of life: apologies, “a million I love yous,” and meaning-making  37:03 – What culturally safe MAID can look like  40:01 – Narrative pedagogy, circle work, and Indigenous ways of teaching  43:35 – Going to the hospital while wondering, “Will they treat me as human?”  44:01 – How Don’s university is (and isn’t) integrating Indigenous perspectives  47:17 – Defining culturally safe MAID and inviting patients’ traditions in  48:37 – Indigenous strengths in death and dying, and why trust is still so fragile  49:47 – Listening to Indigenous leadership and lived experience in healthcare  51:02 – “It happened a long time ago, get over it”: why that thinking is harmful  53:04 – Epigenetics, generational trauma, and visceral responses to racism  53:54 – When dementia, capacity, and timing block access to MAID  1:09:41 – What supports exist (and don’t) for families after MAID  1:17:52 – Advice for people who want to work in MAID or end‑of‑life care  1:22:31 – What needs to change in end‑of‑life and palliative care systems  1:30:48 – Could MAID become a substitute for better care? Ethics and safeguards  1:33:58 – Autonomy vs. cost‑saving: why it must be “both/and,” not “either/or”  1:39:41 – Media portrayals, confidentiality, and misconceptions about MAID  1:42:31 – Marion’s and Dani’s emotional reflections as they close the episode

  3. Episode 3

    Match Your Fight With Your Rest

    Our Episode 3 begins as it often ends with a look what it means to honestly assess how we are, looking at all parts of our lives with a reminder that “we don’t need to always work”, (02:45). Dani and Marion are joined by Dr. Jeffrey Ansloos. (04:54) Jeffery is of Cree descent, and a Professor at U of T in the area of Indigenous Health and Social Policy and the Canada Research Chair in Indigenous Studies of Health. He is a practicing Psychologist and an author of books for young people. (05:46) Jeffrey talks about his mother’s influence as an educator and his desire to serve his people even as he learned that the fields of healthcare were not designed to serve Indigenous communities. (09:02) Marion and Dani relate to the difficulty of trying to fit into systems not built for you, and how this feels harmful. (12:50) They discuss trying to decolonize these spaces and that sometimes breaking up and restarting relationships with work is necessary. Jeffrey has learned that his justice work often brings him to places of harm (14:57) yet he believes in fighting for the things we love, but that fighting must be matched with rest (16:11). Marion describes the generational attitudes towards work and rest (18:09), how that is changing in her family, and how important it is to have agency to define what works and what doesn’t in our lives. (20:02) Marion and Jeffrey have a deep discussion around hope. Jeffrey has serious concerns about how, in particular, Indigenous youth in his work, (21:46) contend with inaction around racial and environmental inequality, climate change and water access while trying to live a good life (25:00). Marion sees how breaking down these issues and dealing with things within our control (25:53) by organizing and working in governance (26:08) can make them less overwhelming and help find balance. Jeffrey speaks honestly about the question of hope with regard to his work with young people and their mental health. (28:33) WARNING: From 00:30:00 to 01:08:20, Jeffrey, Dani and Marion talk frankly about their experiences with suicide – either personally or with family or with patients.  Jeffrey explains that the suicide information (31:22) regarding Indigenous communities is not understood, interpreted or reported accurately – and he tells us the truth around this information. Jeffrey, in his work, tries to show the bigger context contributing to suicide and the longer story contributing to these struggles. (33:05) And he shares a different approach to suicide prevention, which Marion suggests should include sharing, giving, bringing back the sense of community, looking after each other and all that involves (42:26).   The conversation turns deeply spiritual as they consider Dani’s question about the line between a death chosen freely and a death shaped by inequity (44:20). Both Jeffrey and Marion share the comfort found in their Indigenous beliefs, values and traditions around death and dying, (46:40), and how MAiD offer a chance to think deeply about dying well and supporting people with dignity at the end of their life. Jeffrey talks about the spiritual journey (54:43) that people often go on as they think about suicide and death, and how we might view suicidal distress not as failure, but as a profound search for meaning. Asking what makes life have purpose, where you belong, and in what relationships, can be a spiritual awakening and offer hope. This is the same for MAiD (55:55). He suggests that looking at these questions and decisions as a matter of spiritual care – and what it means to be an ancestor (56:24) and become part of the stories in our culture – would deepen our health care practice.  (56:40) Marion reflects on her own decision to choose MAiD and the clarity and agency it gave her. Dani revisits her teen experiences with suicidal thoughts through this new spiritually focused lens. Jeffrey shares that walking alongside someone as they ask questions about what it means to live a good life (59:58) alters how we respond and navigate suicide, chronic illness, loss, and grief (1:00:40). Together, they ask: What do we want to pass on to future generations? What would it look like if our health systems offered the same unconditional, generous love to someone nearing death—or considering suicide—as we offer a newborn entering the world? (01:08:20) Throughout this episode, Marion and Dani return to the power of family, community, culture, language, and ceremony - from redefining rest as resistance, to being grounded in the strength of Indigenous teachings and values around death and dying, to contending that hope must be matched with organizing, with real political and social action. For young people and caregivers alike, Jeffrey offers a simple, radical invitation: Imagine yourself into a future that needs you, take one small step at a time, keep talking until you are heard, allow people to show up for you, and when they do, hold fast to them – and remember, you have strong medicine. At the heart of this episode is a gentle but urgent message: self-care is mandatory, healing is communal, and our hardest conversations can become the doorway to deeper love, relationships, and life. Health Resources:  Suicide Crisis Line: 988 988.ca  Hope For Wellness Hotline: 1-855-242-3310 https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/ Wisepractices.ca Reading Resources: Jeffrey Ansloos  Thunder and the Noise Storms: https://www.strongnations.com/gs/show.php?gs=3&gsd=8680The Medicine of Peace: https://fernwoodpublishing.ca/books/the-medicine-of-peace?srsltid=AfmBOorN6SUQVaFtqh7ZwrDPeO5J4Tn_uZnlSSNOhIaK2Dtfr9mI1GjD Deb McGregor Anishinaabeg Creation Stories: http://www.silvafor.org/assets/silva/PDF/DebMcGregor.pdf & https://muskratmagazine.com/teachings-from-the-muskrat/ Episode Guide: 0:00:00 – Content warning & land acknowledgement0:01:15 – Check‑in: work, slowing down & redefining “enough”0:04:05 – Introducing Dr. Jeffrey Ansloos0:04:45 – Roles, research & children’s books0:05:52 – Justice, racism & how Jeffrey found this path0:10:49 – Fitting into systems not built for you0:13:16 – Matching your fight with your rest0:20:02 – Climate crisis, environmental racism & youth futures0:25:04 – Hope, organizing & protecting young people from overwhelm0:27:50 – Hope vs. political inaction0:30:50 – Youth suicide in Indigenous communities: risk & resilience0:33:27 – Systems, economy & broader suicide prevention0:34:43 – MAiD, agency & inequitable access to care0:36:32 – Marion’s MAiD decision & clarity at end of life0:42:32 – Autonomy, inequity & Indigenous concepts of good life0:48:25 – Indigenous strengths in death and dying0:50:18 –

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ABOUT BEFORE I GO…Embracing the Journey of MAiD: “Death is not an ending but a change of worlds.” Indigenous nations have a long history with ceremony and tradition around death. A member of the Gitxaala Nation in BC, Marion Brown has Pulmonary Hypertension (PH). PH is a chronic progressive condition that will, as with other members of her family, eventually take her life. And so, Marion has made the decision to use the MAiD program when she feels the time is appropriate. An experienced documentary producer and interviewer in her own right, Marion will turn the microphone around on herself. Along with family and many professional experts, she and her daughter Danielle will share this extraordinary journey with you. By openly discussing the experience of choosing medical assisted dying through an Indigenous lens, along with wisdom and stories – about family & ancestors, history & trauma, healing & love – Marion and Dani hope that their journey will provide unique and thoughtful perspectives, encourage your own conversations with those close to you, and perhaps provide some comfort. After all, living & dying are the human experiences we all share. Join us bi-weekly for some of the most profound and thought-provoking conversations of a lifetime. *****CONTENT WARNING***** Each episode of this podcast touches on subjects related to trauma, misogyny, racism, medical racism, sexual misconduct, Residential Schools, as well as many aspects of death and dying. Self-care is our priority, and we ask that you please take care as you listen, step away for a break when you need to, and use the resources below for support. *****RESOURCES***** Mental Health Support Resources: https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/ , 24/7 telephone: 1-855-242-3310, Online chat NIHB Mental Health Services regional office First Nations Health Authority (BC), Toll-free: 1-866-913-0033, info@fnha.ca MAiD Resources: https://www.fnha.ca/what-we-do/healthy-living/end-of-life-journey/medical-assistance-in-dying Centre for Education and Research on Aging https://nctr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/When-the-Time-Comes-Final-Edit-and-Format3510-march-24.pdf https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/blog/reclaiming-cultural-teachings-about-mortality-grief-loss-death-and-dying/ https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/doula-list-maid/ https://camapcanada.ca/ https://abo-peoples.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CAP-2024-FinalReport-PEOLC-MAID_WEB_EN-.pdf Grief & Loss Support Resources: https://www.beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing/ https://www.hospicenorthwest.ca/services/outreach-program/ https://lumarasociety.org/indigenouswellness/ , 1-866-9LUMARA, info@lumarasociety.org https://livingmyculture.ca/ Indigenous Books on Grief and Loss:https://www.strongnations.com/store/item_list.php?it=1&cat=3027 Residential School Support Resources: https://www.irsss.ca/ , 1-800-721-0066 for Survivors and Their Families https://nctr.ca/contact/survivors/ , The National Residential School Crisis Line 1-866-925-4419