Better Husband

Angelo Santiago
  • 5.0 (24)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Better Husband, hosted by men’s marriage and relationship coach Angelo Santiago, is a podcast for any man who’s ever asked, “How can I be a better husband?” Each week, you’ll learn simple, practical ways to fix your marriage, reconnect with your wife, rebuild trust, and bring back real intimacy. If your marriage feels stuck, distant, or on the edge, this podcast gives you real tools and step-by-step skills to communicate better, handle conflict, and build a stronger marriage that lasts. After 12 years of marriage—including a near-divorce that became the turning point for change—Angelo has dedicated his life to helping men save their marriages and become the husbands their wives can trust and feel close to again. Through years of leading men’s retreats, online communities, and one-on-one coaching, he brings grounded, real-world guidance on communication, conflict, and connection. If you want to repair what’s broken, rebuild connection, and learn the skills to make your marriage work, Better Husband will show you how—one episode at a time.

  1. 4D AGO

    052|You Stopped Dating Your Wife—and It Shows

    🎯 Want to Be a Better Husband? Download the Better Husband Toolkit—a short, powerful guide with three essential skills you can start using today to improve your marriage. Get yours now at www.betterhusbandtoolkit.com. - In this episode, we’re looking at what happens when pursuit fades and your marriage shifts from warmth and play to logistics and maintenance. Angelo talks about why men stop initiating, how fear and pressure get in the way, and how to bring back a steady rhythm of simple, generous connection that softens the tone at home and restores closeness. You’ll learn how to lead with presence instead of performance, invite her in with clear, thoughtful planning, and use cherishing and generosity to keep the fire alive. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ Why marriages drift when you stop pursuing your wife ✅ The hidden mix of busyness, pressure, and fear that blocks initiative ✅ How to pursue without pressure by focusing on presence over perfection ✅ Simple invitations that create consistent connection ✅ Why cherishing and generosity (RLT) reignite closeness and desire ✅ How steady pursuit changes the feel of your home and friendship 💡 Key Takeaway: Pursuit is leadership rooted in care. Small, consistent invitations say, “You matter. We matter.” When you plan simple moments on purpose, you shift your marriage from maintenance back to warmth, play, and ease. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1⃣ Put it on the calendar. Choose a night within the next two weeks and plan something for the two of you to do together. Don’t wait until you “feel ready” or until things calm down—life won’t hand you the time. Make it. Pick a day, block it off, and commit. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to happen. 2⃣ Lead with curiosity. Ask her what she’s been missing lately. What kind of moments make her feel most connected, most alive? Listen without defending or overthinking. You’re not trying to get a grade—you’re learning her. Rediscover what lights her up. 3⃣ Be generous and intentional in the planning. If what she wants isn’t your first choice, that’s okay. Practice generosity—do it anyway, and do it with a good heart. Not because you’re giving in, but because you’re giving to. Include something for you as well. This isn’t about disappearing; it’s about creating something that brings both of you joy—hers, yours, and the joy between you. Then take a breath. You led. You planned. You followed through. Now pay attention to what happens next. 4⃣ Notice the ripple. In the days that follow, watch what changes. Does the home feel lighter? Do conversations and laughter come easier? Let that remind you: effort creates warmth. The more you invest, the more life returns to the marriage. 5⃣ Ask and appreciate. A day or two later, check in with her. Ask what she loved most, what she’d like to repeat, and what could make it even better next time. Listen—really listen—without taking it personally. Her feedback isn’t criticism; it’s a gift. It means she’s invested, engaged, and cares. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ When was the last time you truly pursued your wife—not just went out, but planned with the aim of making her feel cared for, seen, and chosen? ❓ What story do you tell yourself about why it’s hard to plan? Is it busyness? Fear of getting it wrong? Or that quiet belief: She already knows I love her—I shouldn’t have to prove it. ❓ How would Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    25 min

  2. OCT 28

    051|You Keep Hearing Complaints—Here’s What She’s Really Trying to Tell You

    🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop to learn Angelo's 3 Secrets to Becoming a Better Husband Without Endless Therapy, Hating the Process, or Pretending to Be Someone You Are Not at www.BetterHusbandSecrets.com - In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common and misunderstood dynamics in marriage—complaints. When your wife says things like “You never listen” or “You’re always working,” it’s easy to take it as criticism. But what she’s really expressing is a deeper, unspoken need. And the same goes for you. Angelo breaks down how to hear what’s beneath the surface, translate complaints into connection, and use the Feedback Wheel to make clean, clear requests without blame or control. You’ll learn how to stay grounded when frustration rises, how to communicate with maturity and ownership, and how to shift from protection to real connection in your marriage. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ Why most complaints are actually unspoken needs in disguise ✅ How to hear the meaning beneath your wife’s frustration and stay grounded ✅ The difference between a complaint and a clear request ✅ How to use the Feedback Wheel to ask for what you need without defensiveness ✅ Why taking ownership is one of the most powerful ways to rebuild safety and trust ✅ Simple practices that turn conflict into connection 💡 Key Takeaway: Complaining protects, but asking connects. Every complaint—yours or hers—is really a request for closeness. When you slow down, listen for the need underneath, and respond with care instead of defense, you create the safety your marriage has been missing. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1⃣ Catch the Complaint. Notice when you start with “You always” or “You never.” Pause, breathe, and ask, “What am I really needing right now?” Then reframe it into a request. 2⃣ Listen Beneath Her Words. When your wife complains, resist the urge to defend. Ask yourself, “What might she be needing that she doesn’t know how to say?” 3⃣ Use the Feedback Wheel. Practice the four steps: what you saw, what you made up, what you felt, and what you’d like instead. Then let go of the outcome. 4⃣ Own Your Part. If things get tense, lead with ownership. Say, “I see how I made that harder,” or “I get how my tone came across.” It’s not weakness—it’s leadership. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ How often do I complain about what I’m not getting instead of clearly asking for what I need? ❓ What’s one area of my marriage where I’ve avoided being direct out of fear of disappointment? ❓ When my wife complains, do I react to her tone—or listen for the need underneath? ❓ How have my own defensiveness or withdrawal made it harder for her to feel safe sharing with me? ❓ What would change this week if I chose courage over control and simply asked for what I truly need? Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    20 min

  3. OCT 21

    050|How You Start Your Day Determines How You Show Up as a Husband

    🎯 Want to Be a Better Husband? Download the Better Husband Toolkit—a short, powerful guide with three essential skills you can start using today to improve your marriage. Get yours now at www.betterhusbandtoolkit.com. - In this episode, we’re exploring how the first few minutes of your morning set the tone for the rest of your day—and your marriage. If you start the day in chaos, you carry that chaos everywhere. If you start grounded, you bring steadiness, patience, and presence into your work, your family, and your relationship. Angelo shares his personal story of shifting from firefighter-level reactivity to intentional calm, revealing how even five minutes of morning awareness can transform how you show up as a husband. You’ll learn why your nervous system can’t tell the difference between real emergencies and everyday stress, and how simple morning habits can help you reset before the world starts asking for pieces of you. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ Why the way you start your morning determines how you handle stress and connection throughout the day ✅ The science behind morning routines and their impact on focus, mood, and emotional regulation ✅ Real examples from men who have transformed their mornings—and their marriages ✅ How to design a routine that fits your current season of life ✅ Common excuses that keep men stuck and how to move past them ✅ Simple steps to begin your day with intention, presence, and leadership 💡 Key Takeaway: Your morning routine is your first act of leadership. It’s not about doing more—it’s about starting from calm instead of chaos. When you lead your morning with intention, you lead your life with direction. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1⃣ Make a list of what grounds you. Identify the practices that help you feel calm and centered—breathing, walking, reading, prayer, or movement. 2⃣ Choose one to three simple habits. Pick a few that fit your current season and time constraints. Even five minutes makes a difference. 3⃣ Commit for seven days. Try your new morning rhythm for one week and observe how it impacts your energy, focus, and patience. 4⃣ Reflect daily. Before bed, ask: “How did my morning shape who I was today?” 5⃣ Adjust weekly. Keep what works, refine what doesn’t, and stay curious about what your life is asking for right now. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ How does the way I start my day affect how I show up with my wife and family? ❓ What energy do I usually bring into the morning—calm or chaos? ❓ What one small change could make tomorrow morning more grounded? ❓ Which of my current habits drain me before the day even starts? ❓ What would it look like to wake up already aligned with the man I want to be? Referenced Research and Articles  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36129742/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11645505/https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-022-34503-2https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/why-your-sleep-and-wake-cycles-affect-your-mood-2019051319792https://www.weforum.org/stories/2015/04/how-12-highly-successful-people-start-their-days/ Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    25 min

  4. OCT 14

    049|Why the Man You Were Taught to Be Isn’t the One Your Marriage Needs

    🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop to learn Angelo's 3 Secrets to Becoming a Better Husband Without Endless Therapy, Hating the Process, or Pretending to Be Someone You Are Not at www.BetterHusbandSecrets.com - In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the biggest challenges men face in marriage: the version of masculinity we were taught growing up doesn’t work at home. The same traits that make you successful in the world—strength, logic, stoicism—can create distance and disconnection with your wife. Angelo shares his personal story from the firehouse to fatherhood and how he had to unlearn what he thought it meant to be a man. You’ll learn why traditional masculinity leaves men drowning when it comes to intimacy, why the “sensitive guy” isn’t the answer either, and what it means to reconfigure your power into wholeness—strength that includes vulnerability, courage, and connection. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ Why traditional masculinity fails in modern marriages ✅ The three phases of masculinity—and why none of them alone lead to connection ✅ How to reconfigure power into wholeness: strength with love and vulnerability ✅ The hidden cost of staying stuck in old masculine scripts ✅ Four practical ways to start shifting toward the man your marriage actually needs ✅ Why embracing this change is the most courageous work you’ll ever do 💡 Key Takeaway: The man you were taught to be helped you survive in the world, but he won’t help you thrive at home. Real strength is learning to be both powerful and open, courageous and loving. Wholeness—not toughness—is what your marriage, your kids, and your legacy truly need. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1⃣ Reflect on what you’ve learned. Think about the lessons you picked up about being a man. Where have they helped you? Where have they held you back, especially in your marriage? 2⃣ Admit you might need help. If you want change, stop pretending you can do it alone. Find support—a coach, group, mentor, or trusted friend. Don’t drown when there’s a life raft within reach. 3⃣ Explore your emotions. Start simple: mad, sad, glad, afraid. Can you name one today? Share it with someone, maybe even with your wife. 4⃣ Drop the armor when you walk through the door. You can carry traditional masculinity at work, but leave it outside when you come home. Your wife doesn’t need the firefighter, CEO, or soldier—she needs the whole man, open-hearted and present. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ When did I first learn that vulnerability wasn’t manly? Who taught me that message, directly or indirectly? ❓ How has traditional masculinity helped me succeed in the world but hurt me at home? ❓ Which part of wholeness feels most uncomfortable for me right now—sharing my feelings, asking about hers, or using my strength to connect instead of control? ❓ Where in my marriage do I most need the life raft? Where am I drowning but pretending I’m fine? Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    17 min

  5. OCT 7

    048|Micro Repairs: The Small, Daily Habit That Will Hold Your Marriage Together

    🎯 Want to Be a Better Husband? Download the Better Husband Toolkit—a short, powerful guide with three essential skills you can start using today to improve your marriage. Get yours now at www.betterhusbandtoolkit.com. - In this episode, we’re exploring one of the most overlooked habits in marriage: micro repairs. These are the small, intentional moments of ownership and reconnection that keep little cuts from becoming big wounds. You’ll learn why big fights rarely start big, how small disconnections quietly erode trust, and how repairing in the moment can strengthen your marriage far more than any grand apology ever could. Through real examples from men in Better Husband Academy, Angelo breaks down what micro repairs look like in daily life, why most men avoid them, and how learning to repair—and receive repairs—can completely shift the atmosphere of your marriage. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ Why most big fights start with small, unrepaired moments ✅ What a “micro repair” actually looks like in real life ✅ The stories men tell themselves that keep them from repairing ✅ How to build daily habits that make repair second nature ✅ Why receiving your wife’s repairs is just as important as making your own ✅ How consistent micro repairs protect your marriage from long-term erosion 💡 Key Takeaway: Most marriages don’t fall apart in one catastrophic moment—they erode under the weight of a thousand small, unrepaired disconnections. Practicing micro repairs daily keeps those cracks from spreading. Every small repair is a moment of leadership, a signal that your marriage matters too much to leave small wounds untended. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1⃣ Do a daily check-in. At the end of each day, ask yourself, “Did I do or say anything that created distance?” If yes, make a small repair before bed. 2⃣ Shorten your repair time. Track how long it takes you to circle back. If it’s days, aim for hours. If it’s hours, aim for minutes. The goal is real-time repair. 3⃣ Make one physical bid for connection. A touch on the arm, reaching for a hand, a hug—these gestures can repair as powerfully as words. 4⃣ Work on receiving her repairs. When she circles back, don’t grade the quality of her apology. Let it land. Say thank you. Step back into connection. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ Where do I most often create small disconnections without repairing them? ❓ What story or excuse do I use that keeps me from repairing sooner? ❓ How open am I when my wife tries to repair with me—do I let it land or hold back? ❓ What would it look like if I made repair a daily leadership habit instead of an occasional one? Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    17 min

  6. SEP 23

    047|From Better Husband to Better Human: Practicing Full Respect Living Everywhere

    🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop to learn Angelo's 3 Secrets to Becoming a Better Husband Without Endless Therapy, Hating the Process, or Pretending to Be Someone You Are Not at www.BetterHusbandSecrets.com - In this episode, we’re talking about Terry Real’s idea of Full Respect Living—a simple, hard standard: no one above you, no one beneath you. Through a story at the gym and practical examples from daily life, you’ll see how the same nervous system that handles strangers, coworkers, and traffic is the one that walks through your front door every night. You’ll learn why practicing respect in the little arenas “out there” prepares you for the high-stakes moments at home, how to spot when you slide into superiority or collapse, and how to set boundaries that protect you and your marriage. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ What Full Respect Living really means—and why it’s harder than it sounds ✅ How to spot the two slides that sabotage connection: one-up superiority and one-down collapse ✅ A simple three-breath reset to get back to center in the moment ✅ Why practicing respect out in the world makes it easier to live it at home ✅ How to set boundaries without blame—protecting yourself and your wife at the same time ✅ Why this principle shows up not only in psychology, but across faith and wisdom traditions 💡 Key Takeaway: Being a better husband isn’t just about what happens in your marriage. It’s about how you carry yourself everywhere. The more you practice Full Respect Living out there—in traffic, at work, with your kids—the more natural it becomes at home. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1️⃣ Install a tripwire. Pick one body cue that tells you you’re sliding. When you feel it, say “Center,” breathe low, and choose a respectful sentence. 2️⃣ Do one rep out there every day. Name tags. Merging in traffic. Holding a door. One small, intentional act of human respect. 3️⃣ Do one rep at home every night. Ask, “Is there anything you need from me tonight?” Then listen for the headline and reflect it back. 4️⃣ Rewind once. The first time you notice yourself go sharp or collapse, stop and call a take-two. Try again, cleaner. 5️⃣ Do a two-minute nightly audit: Where did I stand equal today? Where did I slide? What will I try tomorrow? 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ Where do I most often go one-up—and with whom? What story is underneath that, and why do I believe I need to be better than? ❓ Where do I most often go one-down? What fear drives me to shrink back, and what does it cost me when I do? ❓ How would my marriage feel different if I practiced Full Respect Living not just at home, but everywhere in my life? ❓ What’s one boundary I need to set this week that protects both me and the relationship? Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    22 min

  7. SEP 16

    046|You Can’t Save the Marriage Alone: How to Respond When She Won’t Change

    🎯 Want to Be a Better Husband? Download the Better Husband Toolkit—a short, powerful guide with three essential skills you can start using today to improve your marriage. Get yours now at www.betterhusbandtoolkit.com. - In this episode, we are talking about what happens when you have done the work, shown up differently, and your wife still refuses to change. For some men, this means living with a partner who is dismissive, verbally abusive, or even physically unsafe. It is one of the hardest realities to face, but it is also where loving firmness becomes essential. You will learn how to recognize when her behavior crosses the line, the fears that keep men from setting limits, and why you must be willing to risk the relationship if you want to create real change. We will also cover how to use the Time-Out Checklist as your first loving confrontation and how to stay grounded even when nothing shifts. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ The difference between normal conflict and abuse in a marriage ✅ Why you cannot focus on her change until you have done your part ✅ The three fears that stop men from confronting: attack, abandonment, collapse ✅ Why risking the relationship is sometimes the only path to integrity ✅ How to introduce and practice the Time-Out Checklist with your wife 💡 Key Takeaway: You cannot save the marriage alone. You must do your part, but doing your part does not mean tolerating mistreatment. Loving firmness is the practice of saying, “I love you, and I will not live like this anymore.” It is the courage to risk her reaction, and even the relationship itself, in order to stand in integrity. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1️⃣ Write down your non-negotiables. Be clear about what you will no longer tolerate. 2️⃣ Practice your time-out script. Print it, share it with your wife, and say it out loud. 3️⃣ Share your bottom line with someone you trust so you are not carrying it alone. 4️⃣ Decide on your support. Therapy, coaching, legal advice, or a safety plan—know what you need if nothing changes. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ Where have I been tolerating behavior that crosses my line? ❓ Which fear stops me most: being attacked, being abandoned, or hurting her? ❓ What is the cost of staying silent—for me, for her, for my kids? ❓ If I were willing to risk the relationship, what would I say or do differently this week? Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    20 min

  8. SEP 9

    045|The Cycle That’s Destroying Your Marriage: The Stance–Stance–Dance

    🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop to learn Angelo's 3 Secrets to Becoming a Better Husband Without Endless Therapy, Hating the Process, or Pretending to Be Someone You Are Not at www.BetterHusbandSecrets.com - In this episode, we’re breaking down the Stance Stance Dance, the cycle of her push and your withdrawal that keeps you stuck in the same fight over and over. You’ll learn why this pattern is so destructive, how it shows up in daily life, and the practical steps you can take to interrupt it. Whether you tend to shut down, defend yourself, or wait for the storm to pass, you’ll walk away knowing exactly how to change your stance and by doing so, change the dance. 🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ What the Stance Stance Dance looks like in real life ✅ Why her push feels like control and your withdrawal feels like abandonment ✅ How each move reinforces the cycle and keeps you both stuck ✅ What relational leadership looks like in the middle of conflict ✅ The four steps you can use this week to start shifting the dance 💡 Key Takeaway: The cycle is not just hers, and it is not just yours. It is both of you locked into a dance. But the good news is this: it only takes one person to change the rhythm. When you change your stance, the whole dance begins to shift. 🔨 Action Steps This Week: 1️⃣ Map the last argument. Write out what she did, what you did, and repeat until you see the loop. Focus on the pattern, not the topic. 2️⃣ Choose one interruption point. Circle the moment where you could have done something different. 3️⃣ Practice a new response. Stay steady one beat longer, ask a curious question, or name your urge to withdraw without acting on it. 4️⃣ Reflect afterward. Did you change your stance? Did anything shift in the dance? That is progress. 🧠 Reflection Questions: ❓ When she pushes, what is my default move: defend, withdraw, or something else? ❓ What do I imagine she feels when I pull back or shut down? ❓ Where in our last argument could I have made a different move, even a small one? ❓ How might changing my stance change the dance between us? Ready to Take Action? 🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com Questions? 📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

    16 min
See All (104)

Trailer

5
out of 5
24 Ratings

About

Better Husband, hosted by men’s marriage and relationship coach Angelo Santiago, is a podcast for any man who’s ever asked, “How can I be a better husband?” Each week, you’ll learn simple, practical ways to fix your marriage, reconnect with your wife, rebuild trust, and bring back real intimacy. If your marriage feels stuck, distant, or on the edge, this podcast gives you real tools and step-by-step skills to communicate better, handle conflict, and build a stronger marriage that lasts. After 12 years of marriage—including a near-divorce that became the turning point for change—Angelo has dedicated his life to helping men save their marriages and become the husbands their wives can trust and feel close to again. Through years of leading men’s retreats, online communities, and one-on-one coaching, he brings grounded, real-world guidance on communication, conflict, and connection. If you want to repair what’s broken, rebuild connection, and learn the skills to make your marriage work, Better Husband will show you how—one episode at a time.

Information

  • Creator
    Angelo Santiago
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2025
  • Episodes
    104
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Better Husband
  • Show Website
    Better Husband

You Might Also Like