In this episode, Amsy and Stephanie tackle one of the most common — and least talked about — realities of new parenthood: bed sharing. Studies suggest around 65% of families in the U.S. bed share at some point, and yet most people won't admit it, often because they planned not to and ended up doing it out of desperation. The hosts want to change that conversation — not by encouraging everyone to bed share, but by making sure that if you do, you're doing it as safely as possible. Why this matters: The bigger risk isn't bed sharing itself — it's accidentally falling asleep with your baby on a couch, recliner, or nursing chair, which is significantly more dangerous. Planning ahead, even if you don't intend to bed share, means you're prepared if it happens. The Safe Sleep Seven — key guidelines for safer bed sharing: No smoking — Neither parent should smoke, and baby should not have been exposed to smoke during pregnancy Sober parent — No alcohol, sedating medications, or substances that impair arousal Breastfeeding — Breastfeeding parents tend to naturally position themselves protectively around their baby; this is considered a meaningful risk-reducing factor Healthy baby — Full-term, healthy babies are at lower risk Baby on their back — Same as crib sleep, baby sleeps on their back Lightly dressed, no swaddling — Skip the swaddle for bed sharing; dress baby in pajamas and keep the room cool with good air circulation Safe surface — Firm mattress, no soft bedding, no pillows near baby, no gaps between the mattress and headboard or wall; keeping blankets at hip level or below is one way to manage warmth without putting soft bedding near baby's face Practical tips from the hosts: If one partner is a heavy sleeper, has sleep apnea, or has unpredictable sleep movements, consider having that partner sleep elsewhere temporarily A floor mattress removes the risk of baby rolling off the bed Some families use the "river" setup — baby in the middle, a parent on each side — which is standard practice in Japan and many other cultures A note on culture: Bed sharing is the norm in much of the world — Japan, India, Thailand, Hong Kong, and across Africa and Latin America. The U.S. is one of the few places that recommends against it outright. Some European countries like the UK, Norway, and Sweden are shifting toward providing safer bed sharing guidelines rather than blanket bans — because outright bans aren't stopping people from doing it, they're just stopping people from doing it safely. Bottom line: Bed sharing isn't for everyone, and that's completely fine. But a crib isn't automatically safe either — stuffed animals, loose blankets, and monitor cords in a crib are their own hazard. Wherever your baby sleeps, think it through intentionally and set it up as safely as possible. Amsy Dees - @amsydees.doula // amsydeesdoula.com Stephanie Dawson - @grow.lakeland // growlakeland.com DISCLAMER: The views shared on this podcast are our own and do not represent any specific organization. This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider for guidance specific to your care.
