Beyond the Gray

Kari Schwear
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Mental Health

You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part. But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off. Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right. Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit. Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive. Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different. You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough. Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose. Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work. This isn’t a sobriety podcast. And there are no labels here. Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have. While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray. New episodes every Tuesday.

  1. 2d ago

    Why Taking a Break From Alcohol Never Works (And What Actually Does) | Ep. 30

    You took 30 days off. Then 60. Then 90. You proved you could do it. And then you went right back. Six months later, you're in the same place, asking yourself the same question: "Am I really ready to quit, or do I just need another break?" In Episode 30 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear tackles the cycle that keeps gray area drinkers stuck for years: the break game. Take a break, prove you're fine, go back, repeat. She breaks down the real data on relapse rates (40-60% in year one, dropping to just 7% after year five), the psychology behind why your nervous system pulls you back, and why identity, not willpower, is the thing that actually makes sobriety stick. This episode draws the line between taking a break and making a commitment, and explains why that distinction is everything. In this episode you'll hear: • The exact cycle: weeks 1-2 feel great, weeks 6-8 you feel invincible, weeks 10-12 life hits and you go back • Real relapse data: 40-60% in year one, 21.4% in year two, 9.6% years 3-5, 7.2% after five years • Why commitment cuts the relapse rate in half • How your nervous system was trained by 30 years of drinking and why it reaches for what used to work • Why isolation, depression, and loneliness predict relapse more than any biological marker • The identity trap: you quit the behavior but kept the identity, so your identity pulled you back • "I'm the wine girl. I'm the business guy who closes deals over drinks." How drinking becomes who you are • What a "break" tells your nervous system vs. what "I'm done" tells it • The Prove It Challenge: what are you actually trying to prove? • The court of law exercise: would your reasons to keep drinking hold up under questioning? • Choice 1 (break) keeps the door open. Choice 2 (commit) closes it. You can't have both. • Why relapse rates for alcohol are similar to hypertension and asthma, this isn't a character flaw If you've been cycling between breaks and relapses for months or years, this episode explains why. And it gives you the one shift that changes everything: from behavior change to identity change. ————— TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you. Download HERE ————— READY TO TALK? If you're ready to stop cycling and start committing, Kari is currently accepting new coaching clients by application only. Book a call to start the conversation. No pressure. No judgment. Just honesty. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— TOPICS COVERED I keep quitting drinking and going back, taking a break from alcohol, break vs commit, why can't I stay sober, relapse rates alcohol, gray area drinking, drinking cycle, identity and sobriety, quit drinking relapse, alcohol break doesn't work, nervous system and drinking, willpower vs identity, DECIDE Method, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, sober curious, alcohol-free, commitment vs break, why do I keep going back to drinking, prove it challenge ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone who keeps taking 30-day breaks and going right back, send them this episode. The difference between a break and a commitment might be the one thing they haven't tried yet. #BreakVsCommit #IKeepGoingBack #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #QuitDrinkingForReal #RelapsePrevention #IdentityShift #StopTakingBreaks #CommitmentChangesEverything #SoberCurious #AlcoholFree #NervousSystemReset #DECIDEMethod #DrinkingCycle #WhyCantIStaySober #MidlifeSobriety #HighPerformers

  2. Sep 1

    Low Libido After 50? Your Hormones May Be the Missing Piece | Ep. 29

    Your energy is crashing by 2pm. Your sex drive isn't what it was. You're gaining weight even though you're doing everything right. And you're telling yourself it's just part of getting older. But what if it's not? In Episode 29 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear gets personal about hormones, aging, and what alcohol is really doing to your body after 50. She shares her own recent lab results that revealed her hormone levels were far lower than they should be, even while on BHRT, and how that one missing puzzle piece explained the energy crashes, the libido changes, and even her shoulder injury. This episode covers what most people never connect: how moderate drinking can lower testosterone by nearly 7%, how hormones affect far more than sex, and why "just aging" is the most dangerous thing you can tell yourself. Kari also shares Rob's experience with TRT, the connection between frozen shoulder and hormones, and why your relationship problems might actually be biological, not emotional. In this episode you'll hear: • Why "it's just age" is the biggest lie we tell ourselves after 50 • The study showing moderate alcohol lowers testosterone by nearly 7% in middle-aged men • Kari's own lab results and what they revealed about her energy, libido, and metabolism • What BHRT is and Kari's 15-year experience with bioidentical hormone replacement therapy • How hormones affect far more than sex: energy, muscle mass, bone density, sleep, mood, and cognition • The surprising connection between frozen shoulder and hormone levels • Why your relationship problems might be biological, not just emotional • How alcohol interacts with your entire hormonal system, not just your liver • Why "no amount of alcohol is considered healthy, especially for your hormones" • What to notice, what to track, and what questions to ask your doctor • Why Rob is on TRT and how it's changed things for both of them • Project 60 update: training for 70, optimizing what you can control If you've been blaming how you feel on getting older, this episode might change your mind. Your body is trying to tell you something. Time to get curious. ————— DISCLAIMER This episode is for educational purposes only. Kari Schwear is a coach, not a doctor. If any of this information raises questions about your health or medications, please consult your physician. ————— TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you. TAKE THE AUDIT HERE ————— READY TO TALK? Kari is currently accepting new coaching clients by application only. If you want to partner one-on-one and walk through all of this together, book a call to start the conversation. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— RESOURCES MENTIONED Function Health (comprehensive labs by Dr. Mark Hyman): functionhealth.com ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 10: Still Waking Up at 3AM? (with Morgan Adams, Sleep Coach) Episode 26: Project 60: I'm Not Training for 60. I'm Training for 70. ————— TOPICS COVERED hormones after 50, testosterone and aging, low libido midlife, alcohol and testosterone, hormone replacement therapy, BHRT bioidentical hormones, TRT testosterone replacement, menopause hormones, sex drive after 50, energy crash midlife, frozen shoulder and hormones, alcohol and hormones, gray area drinking, Function Health labs, Project 60, training for 70, midlife optimization, sex life after 50, low energy over 50, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, men over 50, women over 50 ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone who's been blaming everything on "just getting older," share this episode with them. It might be the nudge they need to finally get curious about what's really going on. #HormonesAfter50 #ItsNotJustAge #TestosteroneAndAging #LowLibidoMidlife #AlcoholAndHormones #BHRT #TRT #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #Project60 #TrainingFor70 #MidlifeOptimization #SexLifeAfter50 #FunctionHealth #MenOver50 #WomenOver50 #HormoneHealth #FrozenShoulder

  3. Aug 25

    How to Relax Without Alcohol | Why You Can’t Relax After You Quit Drinking | Ep. 28

    You quit drinking. You thought you'd feel amazing. Instead, you can't sleep, you can't sit still, and your brain is screaming for something, anything, to turn off the noise. You're not broken. Your nervous system just doesn't know you quit yet. In Episode 28 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear tackles the thing nobody warns you about after you stop drinking: your body has no idea how to relax without alcohol. For years, maybe decades, your nervous system learned one pattern: alcohol equals calm. Now that the alcohol is gone, your body is firing normally for the first time, and normal feels wrong. This episode explains why, how long it takes, and exactly what to do about it. Kari shares practical tools that actually work, including a client's cold plunge story, a 15-minute journaling practice, environment changes, breathing, walking, and a scrolling timer strategy. She also addresses the bridge question honestly: if you need a little help in the first few weeks, that's okay, just don't trade one habit for another. In this episode you'll hear: • Why your nervous system can't relax after you quit drinking (and why that's completely normal) • The 66-day / 3-month timeline for your body to relearn natural relaxation • Why "normal" feels wrong after years of being dampened by alcohol • The cold plunge story: how one client replaced alcohol's endorphin hit with something better • Why journaling 15 minutes before bed works better than scrolling (and the science behind it) • How to change your environment so your triggers stop firing • The 20-minute scrolling timer strategy and the 30-minute screen-free rule before bed • The framework for what actually works: intentional, felt, rewarding, and consistent • Why you shouldn't trade alcohol for THC, CBD gummies, or any other nightly dependency • Why you shouldn't quit on day 21 or think you're broken on week four If you quit drinking and you're wondering why you still can't relax, this episode is the answer. Your nervous system isn't broken. It's just catching up to the decision you already made. ————— FREE RESOURCE 28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free, one-page PDF with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.) Download HERE ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— TOPICS COVERED how to relax without alcohol, quit drinking can't sleep, nervous system after quitting drinking, why can't I relax sober, 66 days to form a habit, cold plunge benefits, journaling before bed, natural relaxation, gray area drinking, alcohol and nervous system, THC replacement, CBD after quitting drinking, screen time before bed, environment change habits, sober curious, alcohol-free relaxation, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, quit drinking what now, sober sleep problems ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone who just quit drinking and is struggling to relax or sleep, send them this episode. Knowing the timeline changes everything. They're not broken. They're relearning. #HowToRelaxWithoutAlcohol #QuitDrinkingCantSleep #NervousSystemReset #66Days #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #GrayAreaDrinking #SoberCurious #ColdPlunge #JournalingBeforeBed #NaturalRelaxation #AlcoholFree #DontTradeHabits #NervousSystemHealing #SoberSleep #RelearningRelaxation

  4. Aug 18

    What You Feed Grows, What You Starve Dies | Ep. 27

    You can stop drinking and still starve your marriage. You can stop scrolling and still starve your health. You can quit the thing that's hurting you and never start building the life you actually want. And then you wonder why you still feel empty. In Episode 27 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear tackles the principle that explains more about your life than almost anything else: what you feed grows, what you starve dies. But here's the part most people miss. It's not just about removing the bad. It's about what you're feeding (or failing to feed) in its place. Kari shares how a shoulder injury at the gym became the perfect metaphor for how we protect the very things we should be strengthening, and why removing a behavior without replacing it leaves you just as stuck as before. She also digs into the neuroscience and scripture behind why we rehearse old resentments, how thoughts become behaviors, and the two questions that will change how you see your entire life. In this episode you'll hear: • The shoulder injury story that became a perfect metaphor for life • Why protecting something too long actually starves it • How resentment stays alive: you're feeding a 10-year-old event every time you replay it • Three scriptures that changed how Kari handles her thought life (Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5) • Why "taking thoughts captive" is the most practical spiritual tool you'll ever use • How gray area drinkers feed the habit by negotiating with themselves • Why the healthiest relationship with alcohol might be zero • The danger of quitting one thing without building something in its place • How you can fix one Core Four area while another one is dying • The two questions to ask yourself this week: What am I feeding that I don't want to grow? What am I starving that I desperately want to grow? If you've ever quit something and still felt empty, this episode explains why. And it shows you what to do about it. ————— TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're feeding something that's hurting you and where you're starving something that matters. Download the Audit HERE https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/ ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— SCRIPTURE REFERENCED Philippians 4:8 (think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy) Romans 12:2 (transformed by the renewing of your mind) 2 Corinthians 10:5 (take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ) ————— TOPICS COVERED what you feed grows what you starve dies, gray area drinking, quit drinking now what, replacing habits, resentment and forgiveness, taking thoughts captive, Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:2, renewing your mind, Core Four, body being balance business, why you still feel empty, feeding vs starving, midlife change, high performers, marriage and drinking, spiritual health, thought life, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If this episode made you realize you've been starving something that matters, share it with someone who's been so focused on removing the bad that they forgot to build the good. That shift changes everything. #WhatYouFeedGrows #WhatYouStarveDies #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #CoreFour #TakeThoughtsCaptive #Philippians48 #RenewYourMind #QuitDrinkingNowWhat #ReplacingHabits #Resentment #Forgiveness #MidlifeChange #HighPerformers #FeedOrStarve #SpiritualHealth #IntentionalLiving

  5. Aug 11

    I'm Not Training for 60. I'm Training for 70. | Project 60 Officially Begins! | Ep. 26

    I turn 60 in less than six months. And I made a decision: I'm not arriving there by accident. I'm not interested in a party or a trip. I'm interested in who I get to be when I get there. And more importantly, who I'm going to be in the decade that follows. Because I'm not training for 60. I'm training for 70. In Episode 26 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear introduces Project 60: a six-month personal commitment to arrive at her 60th birthday with intention across all four Core Four areas of life: body, being, balance, and business. She shares where she's starting, what she's doing, and what she's already noticing just weeks in. This isn't a resolution. It's stewardship. And it's an open invitation for you to build your own version, no matter what age you are. In this episode you'll hear: • Why Kari is training for 70, not 60, and how that reframed everything • The real mission behind Project 60: stewardship, not vanity • Her physical plan: strength training, clean eating, tracking, and a 10-pound goal • What comprehensive labs through Function Health revealed (and why she recommends it) • Carrying the APOE4 gene on both sides and what she's doing about it • Why sleep is the area she's taking more seriously than ever before • Her spiritual plan: two Bible studies, journaling, and praying before everything • "Peace changes your face more than any makeup ever will" • How she's investing in her marriage and relationships with more intentionality • Kingdom Impact Network, GrayTonic, and the calling that drives her business • What she's already noticing: autopilot, self-negotiation, and going through the motions • Why awareness is the biggest gift and why you can't unsee it once you do • The Saturday updates: one lesson per week between now and January 16th This isn't just Kari's journey. It's an invitation. What's your version of Project 60? ————— FOLLOW PROJECT 60 Every Saturday between now and January 16th, Kari shares one update and one lesson on LinkedIn and Facebook. Follow along and start your own version. LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ ————— FREE RESOURCEReady to discover your gray areas? Take the FREE Audit. Let's get real and discovery your facts. Download HERE:https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/ ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— RESOURCES MENTIONED Function Health (comprehensive labs by Dr. Mark Hyman): functionhealth.com Book: Experiencing God Kingdom Impact Network: kingdomimpact.network ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 4: When One Partner Changes and the Other Doesn't (with Rob) Episode 8: Why Couples Drift Apart and How to Reconnect (with Rob) Episode 10: Still Waking Up at 3AM? (with Morgan Adams) ————— TOPICS COVERED Project 60, turning 60, training for 70, milestone birthday intention, Core Four, body being balance business, strength training over 50, APOE4 gene Alzheimer's prevention, Function Health labs, sleep optimization, spiritual health, prayer and journaling, Bible study, marriage after 50, stewardship, intentional living, awareness, autopilot life, midlife health, Kingdom Impact Network, GrayTonic, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, aging well, women over 50, men over 50, retirement ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you're standing at your own crossroads and you don't want to slide into the next decade by accident, start your own version of Project 60. Name it. Commit to it. And follow along with Kari every Saturday. #Project60 #TrainingFor70 #TurningS60 #IntentionalLiving #CoreFour #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #Stewardship #APOE4 #AlzheimersPrevention #StrengthTrainingOver50 #SpiritualHealth #MidlifeHealth #AgingWell #FaithAndFitness #MarriageAfter50 #Awareness #DontArriveByAccident #WomenOver50

  6. Aug 4

    25 Hard Truths I Learned the Hard Way | No Frameworks. Just Honesty. | Ep. 25

    No frameworks today. No five-step method. No guest. Just 25 hard truths in 25 minutes from almost 10 years of living alcohol-free and thousands of coaching conversations. At least one of these is going to follow you around for the rest of the week. In Episode 25 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear does something completely different. She drops 25 truths she's learned the hard way, one per minute, covering everything from drinking and identity to faith, marriage, loneliness, and why the most successful people are often the most empty. Some of these will make you uncomfortable. Some might make you laugh. All of them are honest. The 25 Truths: 1. You're not hiding it as well as you think 2. You don't have a drinking problem, you have a peace problem 3. Healing starts with honesty, not confidence 4. Information has never changed your life, decisions have 5. Comparison is the cheapest excuse for staying stuck 6. The strongest people I know are willing to cry 7. Most men over 50 haven't had an honest conversation in years 8. Success doesn't solve misalignment 9. The day I stopped waiting for someone else to change my life is when my life changed 10. The best decision I ever made was the scariest one 11. Alcohol wasn't the hardest thing I gave up, identity was 12. If your morning routine takes two hours, you might be avoiding your life 13. You spend more on your car than your health 14. Prayer is the most underused resource in my life 15. People misrepresent God 16. Your calendar tells the truth about your priorities 17. The people who need help most are the best at hiding it 18. No client has ever regretted making a courageous change 19. Action creates clarity, waiting creates doubt 20. Your kids are still watching, even if they're grown 21. You can be grateful and still want more 22. You can't heal the life you're still hiding 23. Peace begins where pretending ends 24. God invited me to become who He created me to be 25. There is life beyond the gray Bonus #26: You don't have to change everything today. You just have to stop pretending nothing needs to change. Which one hit you the hardest? Drop it in the comments. ————— FREE RESOURCE 28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free, one-page PDF with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.) Download HERE ————— READY TO TALK? If one of these truths stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— TOPICS COVERED 25 hard truths, gray area drinking, quit drinking, peace problem not drinking problem, identity shift, men over 50, honest conversations, success and emptiness, church hurt, prayer, vulnerability, comparison trap, morning routine, health is wealth, action before feeling, kids are watching, alcohol-free, midlife change, faith and sobriety, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, high performers, DECIDE Method ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If one of these 25 truths hit you, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it too. Sometimes one truth is all it takes. #25HardTruths #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #GrayAreaDrinking #PeaceProblem #IdentityShift #MenOver50 #HonestConversations #ChurchHurt #PrayerWorks #VulnerabilityIsStrength #ComparisonTrap #HealthIsWealth #ActionCreatesClarity #KidsAreWatching #AlcoholFree #MidlifeChange #HighPerformers #StopPretending

  7. Jul 28

    One Decision Won't Change Your Life. Thousands of Small Ones Will. (Part Two) | Ep. 24

    You made the decision. You committed. You know your why. And then you woke up the next morning in the same house, with the same spouse, the same job, the same stress, and the same habits trying to pull you back. Now what? In Episode 24 of Beyond the Gray (Part 2 of 2), Kari Schwear tackles the part nobody talks about: what happens after the decision. Because the hardest part isn't saying "I'm done." The hardest part is living like someone who is done. This episode is about identity, the uncomfortable middle, and why feeling awkward is actually proof that you're growing, not failing. Kari shares how she built an entire identity around wine (including starting a neighborhood wine club), why quitting felt like burying a best friend, and the daily habits that slowly rebuilt who she was from the inside out. She also introduces the "floor vs. ceiling" concept and the one question that changed every decision she made from that point forward. In this episode you'll hear: • Why making a decision doesn't magically make you a different person • The "uncomfortable middle" and why this is where most people quit • How Kari built an entire identity around wine and what it felt like to let that go • Why feeling awkward or fake isn't proof that you're failing, it's proof that you're changing • The order that actually works: action builds belief, belief builds identity, identity builds consistency • Why nature doesn't like a vacuum and what to replace your habit with • Tonic water, walks, books, and prayer: the replacements that saved Kari's sobriety • The "floor vs. ceiling" concept for daily habits (and why your floor matters more) • The one question that changed everything: "Is this a vote for my future or my past?" • Why one decision doesn't change your life, but thousands of small ones will If you made a commitment in Part 1 and you're wondering what comes next, this is it. This is how you become the person your change requires. ————— FREE RESOURCE 28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free, one-page PDF with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.) CLICK HERE FOR THE 28 TOOLS RESOURCE (link) ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 23: Why Your Changes Never Stick (Part 1 of 2) Episode 3: The Identity Shift Episode 11: Stop Calling Yourself an Alcoholic Episode 13: Gray Area Drinking Explained ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone who made a change and then drifted back, send them both parts. Part 1 is the foundation. Part 2 is who you become. Together, they're the roadmap. #WhoAreYouBecoming #IdentityShift #LastingChange #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FloorVsCeiling #VoteForYourFuture #QuitDrinking #UncomfortableMiddle #DailyHabits #ActionBeforeFeeling #SoberCurious #HighPerformers #MidlifeChange #Part2of2 #AlcoholFreeIdentity

  8. Jul 21

    Why You Keep Going Back To Your Comfort Zone | DECIDE Part One | Ep. 23

    You've tried to change before. Maybe it lasted 30 days. Maybe 90. Maybe even a year. And then you went right back. And the worst part wasn't the behavior. It was the voice in your head that said, "See? You can't do this." In Episode 23 of Beyond the Gray (Part 1 of 2), Kari Schwear breaks down why lasting change fails for most people and what actually makes it stick. She shares what she's never said publicly before: the nights she woke up outside sleepwalking, the mirror moment at 2am with two bottles of wine, and the promise she made to God on August 15th, 2016 that changed everything. This isn't motivation. This is the foundation. The psychology, the framework, and the exercises you need before anything else will work. In this episode you'll hear: • Why change fails even when you want it badly (and why willpower isn't the problem) • The "checkbox" concept: how small moments compound into the one that finally breaks through • Stories Kari has never shared publicly: the sleepwalking, the blackouts, the confusion • The mirror moment at 2am that became the turning point • The pros and cons list exercise that made the choice obvious • "Reasons to stay equaled comfort. Reasons to leave equaled my soul." • The "Five Whys" exercise: how to go five layers deep to find the why that actually holds • Why a surface-level why ("I want to be healthier") will never survive a craving • What AA got right: the white chip, one day at a time, and the power of commitment • Why Kari still doesn't say "I'll never drink again" and what she says instead • Three exercises to try this week before Part 2 drops This is Part 1. Next week in Part 2, we go deeper into identity, daily habits, and how to actually become who you've committed to becoming. This is the DECIDE Method. Don't miss it. ————— FREE RESOURCE 28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free PDF (via Google Drive link), with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.)YES! I WANT THE FREE GUIDE! ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 22: You Don't Need a Rock Bottom. You Need Your Own Enough. Episode 11: Stop Calling Yourself an Alcoholic Episode 13: Gray Area Drinking Explained ————— TOPICS COVERED why change doesn't last, lasting change psychology, gray area drinking, quit drinking, how to stop drinking, willpower myth, five whys exercise, pros and cons quitting drinking, rock bottom myth, midlife change, high performers and alcohol, identity and change, AA white chip, one day at a time, commitment vs motivation, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, sober curious, alcohol-free, numbing behavior, THC and alcohol, checkboxes of change ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss Part 2 next week. If you've ever made a change that didn't stick, share this with someone who needs to hear why. Sometimes the missing piece isn't motivation. It's the foundation underneath it. #WhyChangeFails #LastingChange #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FiveWhys #QuitDrinking #RockBottomMyth #IdentityShift #SoberCurious #HighPerformers #OneDay AtATime #CommitmentOverMotivation #MidlifeChange #AlcoholFree #Part1of2

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16 Ratings

About

You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part. But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off. Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right. Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit. Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive. Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different. You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough. Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose. Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work. This isn’t a sobriety podcast. And there are no labels here. Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have. While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray. New episodes every Tuesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Kari Schwear
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    31
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Kari Schwear