Bits Of Compassion

dawnfayecompassion

Welcome! I am so happy that you are here! I am your host Dawn Faye, my mission on the Bits of Compassion podcast is to empower others to find their passions, be curious to learn and reflect, to create meaning and fulfilment in their lives, and take initiative in prioritizing their wellbeing. I believe that making the world a better place starts with how you take care of you, from the inside out. When we are happier, we become better friends, better partners, better families, better peers, and better people. I discuss topics pertaining to personal discovery, navigating life, self-help, mindful living, wellbeing, and compassion. We all need a little more compassion in our lives, whether it be for ourselves, for others, or for the world around us. Wherever you are, I invite you to open your heart to live, love, and learn in your journey through this life. Let’s get into the Bits!

  1. 2h ago

    Oh Beautiful Wild Emotions

    We all feel a multitude of emotions everyday either labeled good or bad.  I believe that understanding the inner workings of emotions can be a key for learning how to navigate them.  Today, we will take a deeper dive into what emotions are, where they come from, why we have emotions, and how we can navigate them with more care.   EPISODE NOTES   What are emotions? Emotions are complex, automatic psychological and physical responses to your environment, experiences, thoughts, or memories. 3 components of emotion: 1.       the subjective experience of emotion: In simple terms, the subjective experience of emotion is what you feel inside. It conveys the unique way an individual interprets an emotional state inside of their mind shaped by their thoughts, memories, upbringing, knowledge, beliefs, and situational context. Like the sting of grief or the giddiness of excitement. If I was to ask you to describe what happiness feels like or what sadness feels like, what would come to mind? All of our responses would be different but there would probably be similarities and themes among the answers. We all know what these emotions are, we do not all feel them the same way or to the same degrees. This is why emotions are subjective meaning that they are based on personal feelings, tastes, opinions, or interpretations rather than external facts. 2.       The psychological response:  This is the response your brain and body respond to emotions. This can include changes in heart rate, respiration, muscle tension, and hormone releases (like adrenaline or cortisol). The psychological response to emotion can also include tears and laughter which act as involuntary emotional release valves that help the brain process intense states of emotion. 3.        The behavioral response: This is the way you express your emotions through your behavior. Our behavioral responses serve as primary communicational tools that drive social interactions, decisions, outcomes, and survival. We express behavioral responses to emotions through our facial expressions, body language, posture, our words, and vocal tones.  For example if you are disgusted by a large beetle and you decide to grab a shoe and squash it, that is your behavioral response.   Where do emotions come from? The brain plays a huge role in generating and regulating emotions through stimulating Different parts of the brain and body. The Limbic System is a very important part of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotions, behavior, motivation, memories, and survival instincts. The Amygdala is part of the Limbic system that scans sensory input (sounds, sights, thoughts) and assigns them emotional values like danger or safety. When the amygdala detects an emotional trigger, it triggers the Hypothalamus. The Hypothalamus is a small but crucial region of the Limbic system that regulates homeostasis. It controls bodily functions like body temperature, hunger, thirst, and sleep and translates emotional triggers into physical reactions through the nervous system and the endocrine system. The physical reactions that are created are symptoms like increased heartrate when you are scared or the surge of energy when you are excited.  Emotions are predominantly a result of brain activity but they also call on our thoughts, beliefs, memories, and perceptions to help us interpret and respond to them. Interesting theories on emotion! The James Lange theory of emotion: This theory suggest that the body reacts first, and then, the mind perceives these reactions as emotions. Like for example, If you are watching a scary movie and there is a jump scare, The James Jange theory suggests that your increased heart rate is what is causing you to feel fear. The Lazarus theory: This theory suggest that an emotion is experienced only after a person consciously or unconsciously evaluates and interprets a stimulus.  According to this theory, the mind assesses a situation first and our emotions result from how we interpret a situation and the meaning we give to it.   Okay but What is the purpose of emotions?   Emotions can be split into three broad categories based the function in how they are used. The three categories are as followed, Biological, social, and informational. These three categories are often called the threefold purpose or the trifecta of emotional function. It’s creation is not accredited to a specific historic creator, it rather represents a general consensus or theory of many psycholigists and scientists. The Biological category of emotion: Involves emotions that are used to protect physical survival and prepare and energize the body for immediate life-preserving action. For example, feelings of fear trigger your fight or flight response to avoid danger. This response may increase your heart rate, which increases blood flow to important muscles for action. Another example is disgust which physically repulses you from spoiled food and toxins. The social category of emotion: This category uses emotions to guide and influence communication, interaction, and social dynamics. We use the help of facial expressions, body language, posture, and verbal and vocal tones to help us communicate our interests, wants, needs, and boundaries with others. Not only does emotion help us to communicate how we feel with others, it also helps us to interpret, understand, and connect with others through the emotions they express. For example: showing anger can communicate that a personal boundary has been crossed whereas expressing characteristics of joy like a smile can communicate contentment. The informational category of emotion: This category uses emotions as a rapid internal feedback system to provide real-time data on how you are perceiving and evaluating your current environment. Emotions can influence the meaning we give to experiences and guide our decisions,  actions, and responses. Emotions also help govern your intuition giving you gut feelings about your environment. For example, if you feel your stomach drop when heading towards a dark alley, you may choose to avoid it because it just doesn’t feel right. Emotions also guide boundaries and behavioral adjustments.  For example, experiencing guilt, sadness, or regret provides immediate information that a mistake was made, or a loss occurred, prompting self-reflection and behavioral adjustments.  Today’s tools!! The pause: This technique helps support emotional regulation and intentional responses. The pause is exacty what it sounds like,  it involves taking a pause when emotions run high or during a heated argument or situation.  Sometimes, intense situations and emotions can cause us to react impulsively or in a way that does not truly reflect our authentic emotions. This happens because when the nervous system is triggered, it rushes adrenaline through the body, urging you to react instantly to make the discomfort stop. In that surge of agitation, you are not thinking about your true, core values—you are just trying to get the immediate stress to stop. Taking a pause is intentionally becoming self aware in the moment of emotional reaction. it helps you slow down and reengaging with the thinking brain.   The LAPS strategy: The LAPS strategy was developed by Psychology Today through clinical research to help people regain emotional control.  Step 1: ask yourself, What emotion am I feeling? Once you identify the emotion or emotions you are feeling or at least gather an idea of it. Step 2: Simply allow the emotion to be. Normalize the emotion. Emotions themselves are not dangerous, it is what we do with them that can be destructive. Just pause and feel the emotion for a few minutes without reacting or doing anything else with it. Let the wave settle. Take some deep intentional breaths.  Step 3: Redirect your attention to something calming or cognitively engaging to help you center yourself back into the moment. Bringing your focus to calming, positive, and engaging things helps to naturally regulate your emotions by giving you some time to calm down and think.  It helps you recognize that emotional urges can be naturally impulsive because they are programmed to protect and guide you but they do not define you. Remember that you have a critical choice in how you respond to situations. Taking a pause before you act on your emotions brings the power back to you, helping you remember to consider your values, goals and priorities and align with them when you do respond to situations and act on emotions.   Patience baby: Practice patience with the emotions of yourself and others. Practicing patience involves slowing down and remembering that everyone feels emotions differently. Patience involves developing the crucial relationship skill of empathy — the ability to understand life from the perspective of another. When you are impatient, you are focused inward, on you, on what you are feeling. On the other hand, when you are more patient, you are focused outward, able to listen to what others say, Consider other perspectives with respect and willingness and choose to respond with care and compassion. You can literally choose to be more patient but it requires a certain kind of self talk. Self-talk is a critical aspect of thinking, because we can influence and shift our thoughts. You have to tell yourself, “I’m going to relax,” or “I’m going to take a few deep breaths and slow down” “How can I practice empathy for others involved?” We all remember the golden rule right?  A big part of patience is Treating others the way you want to be treated. We all have needs, opinions, values, and emotions that we feel strongly for and wish to express. We just want others to acknowledge our personhood and consider our wellbeing with empathy, kindness, and compassion. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, try to meet them where they are. They might not be wrong, they may j

    29 min
  2. May 10

    Vigilant Optimism

    Description: Many people identify as optimists. The mindset of pure optimism maintains a positive and hopeful outlook but fails to prepare for potential risks and threats. Vigilant optimism, on the other hand, balances maintaining a positive and hopeful outlook with a realistic assessment of risks and dangers. Utilizing vigilance in conjunction with optimism will help you remain prepared, safe, and aware while still having fun, silly, and enjoying your life! Join me as we explore optimism with a side of vigilance.   EPISODE NOTES   What is the difference between optimism and vigilant optimism?  Well, I thought you would never ask. We already know that optimism is the mental attitude or hopefulness that expects positive outcomes, focuses on the best possible interpretation of situations and the believes that good things will happen. Pure optimism ignores the fact sometimes, things do go wrong. Period. People stab you in the back. Plans fall through. Things don’t go as planned.  Life is not always sunshine and rainbows. Pure optimism maintains a positive and hopeful outlook but fails to prepare for potential risks and threats. This unpreparedness may lead to disappointment, damaged self-esteem, and very expensive surprises. Vigilant optimism, on the other hand, balances maintaining a positive and hopeful outlook with a realistic assessment of risks and dangers to ensure safety. It involves practicing analytical awareness that acknowledges that unexpected challenges, problems, and dangers may arise at any point.  So why should you practice vigilant optimism in your life? Number 1: The mindset of Vigilant optimism improves decision making by combining a positive forward-thinking mindset with a pragmatic logical analysis of potential risks and obstacles. This proactive action-oriented approach balances risk and opportunity and helps individuals maintain motivation and resilience while identifying risks leading to more well-rounded, intentional, and effective decisions. When thinking through this mindset, you can identify what is in your control and focus your energy on making a grounded, realistic action plan. Instead of blindly hoping for the best, you are able to use your influence to mitigate risks, strategize, and adjust as you go. Number 2:Vigilant optimism also strengthens resilience when faced with challenges. With this mindset, challenges don’t carry the power to derail your positive outlook. Although optimistic, vigilant optimism is not ignorant to failure, obstacles, and danger, they always remain vigilant and carry the tools to handle these challenges effectively. Individuals with this mindset deal with challenges more effectively because they are able to remain flexible and adjust their action plans instead of becoming discouraged and stuck. Vigilant optimism highlights the importance of addressing challenges, problems, and dangers early on, taking proactive action to adjust, and learning from them. Vigilant optimisms often view setbacks as a temporary, conquerable part of their journey rather than permanent or catastrophic. This belief encourages persistence and resilience instead of giving up. Number 3: Another benefit of vigilant optimism is how it works to strengthen the skill of problem solving through analytical awareness. Let’s start with the definition. Analytical awareness is the ability to use logic and reasoning to solve problems, make data-based decisions, and evaluate the success of solutions. So basically, analytical awareness is the ability to be realistic. Even as an optimist, it is crucial to be realistic. Considering logic and reasoning is important because it allows you to access facts and data that help you gather information, calculate risks, evaluate your options, and identify your next steps. This ensures that when you are going into situations, you are informed and prepared to handle challenges and that when problems occur, they don’t send you into a spiral.  Objectivity relys on evidence and facts to broaden your perspective. With the mindset of vigilant optimism, individuals feel optimistic about their decisions, outcomes, and future because they believe in their own decision making, resilience, and problem-solving abilities. Vigilant optimism does not just hope for a good future; it builds one with a positive intuitive vision while keeping a keen and careful eye on the path ahead.   Now that we have identified some of the added benefits of vigilant optimism including effective decision making, resilience, and problem solving, let’s take a deeper look into how you can become a vigilant optimist.   -              The first tool I want to share is to use your past experiences, mistakes, and lessons as tools to help you navigate your present life. Past experiences offer valuable lessons and wisdoms that help us respond to present experiences with new understanding and tools. we wouldn’t have uncovered these tools and insights if we first make mistakes, get hurt, and feel lost.  Through these trials and tribulations that we face through out our lives, we have opportunities to learn and grow. Take these opportunities and learn these valuable lessons that could save your ass in the future. And ya, it’s painful but it is none the less necessary. The difficulties that you face are a small price to pay for the valuable lessons that you learn that will help you navigate situations in the future with more knowledge, wisdom, and tools.   The next tool is to be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. But instead of preparing for the worst, we want to prepare for all possible outcomes good or bad. If we only prepare for the worst, then that is all we will see and that defeats the whole point of optimism. Instead, we want to stay in the present and hope for the best while still acknowledging that problems and negative outcomes could still occur. Most people avoid thinking about negative outcomes but have you ever considered that by doing so it may make you stronger and more resilient? When you confront the harsh realities of life before they happen, you become mentally equipped to handle them. This approach keeps us ready for all possible outcomes good or bad, keeping us flexible and adaptable.    So how can we remain prepared for all possible outcomes? - For starters, like I mentioned earlier, it can be helpful to ponder what the possible outcomes are first. This way you can mentally prepare and calibrate your response to possible challenges and hardships.   Then you can use “what if” thinking to identify contingency plans and organize safety measures to keep in your back pocket. You want to have these safety measures and plans before you need them. -The key it to find a balance. You can still have fun and be adventurous while remaining vigilant. You don’t always have to be on guard but you don’t want to be tuned out and unprepared. By making contingency plans and remaining alert and vigilant of possible threats, scams, and problems, you are able to have more enjoyment in your life knowing that you are safe and prepared. -Be observant of people’s behaviors and motives.  Be assertive and exclusive with your time, energy, focus, and personal information. These things are valuable and should not be given to just anyone. If you can help it, do not brag, gossip or over share. Make people earn your trust. Being overly open, trusting, and blindly optimistic can be seen as a weakness, making you a target for negative situations. -Ensure that you have an emergency fund to handle unexpected financial setbacks. Build strong supportive relationships that you can rely on practically and emotionally. All of these tools are things that you can put into place to give yourself some peace of mind, confident in your ability to handle both sunshine and rainstorms.   Exercise your creativity:  Allow yourself to dream big. Think outside the box and explore your creative side. Creativity is a skill that you can practice and develop. By giving yourself the freedom to think with no restraints, you are able to produce more abstract and creative ideas. Then, you must real yourself back in by giving your ideas a critical check to ensure that your ideas are safe, realistic, and align with your goals and priorities. That is the vigilance part. Your optimism fuels your creativity while the vigilance helps you refine and transform your ideas into solid, realistic, authentic, and attainable goals.    !!!!!!!!!!! Vigilant optimism. That’s a wrap. What a topic right? Today's episode hit very close to some recent situations I have been experiencing. My goal was to highlight the importance of utilizing vigilance as a form of personal protection to help you remain prepared, safe, and aware while still having fun, silly, and enjoying your life! Although optimistic, vigilant optimism is not ignorant to failure, obstacles, and danger, they always remain vigilant and carry the tools to handle these challenges effectively. Vigilant optimists look at different angles and perspectives of situations, use past lessons and insights, utilize logic and analytical awareness, and follow their intuition to make well-rounded intentional decisions.  Vigilant optimism does not just hope for a good future; it builds one with a positive intuitive vision while keeping a keen and careful eye on the path ahead.           REFERENCES A brief analysis of optimism. exposing the second dimension that… | by Ryan Palmer | Side effects | medium. (n.d.). https://medium.com/side-effects/a-brief-analysis-of-optimism-2eb594a80fd4 How to overcome analytical bias to become a stronger decision maker. Global Knowledge. (n.d.). https://www.globalknowledge.com/us-en/resources/resource-library/white-papers/how-to-overcome-analytical-bias-to-become-a-stronger-decision-maker/#gref Sharma, Y. (2025, March 26). Pray for the best, prepare for the worst | by Yash Sha

    18 min
  3. Mar 29

    Help feels good and it feels good to help

    Help feels good and it feels good to help. In today’s episode, we will discuss the motives behind help and how they affect both the giver and the receiver. We will identify a few tools that HELP us give and receive help in a meaningful and compassionate way. Help helps the world go round. EPISODE NOTES Help: Help is an offering of one’s service or resources to make someone else’s time easier and better. it encompasses support, assistance, guidance, volunteering, donating, a gentle push, a listening ear, or a shoulder to lean on. Why do we help? -Prosocial behavior: Any act we willingly take that is meant to help others. Prosocial behaviors may be driven by empathy, social norms, selfish motives, or expected reciprocation. -Pure Altruism: This is a specific type of prosocial behavior in which we choose to voluntarily help another person with the motivation driven by genuine, selfless concern for others with no expectation of reward, recognition, or acknowledgement. Pure Altruistic behavior often stems from personal core values, ethical principles and moral beliefs. An example of a Pure altruism would be making an anonymous donation to a family recovering from a house fire or buying the next person’s food in line in a drive through. -Reciprocal altruism: This is the hope that when you help someone else in need, someone will help you when you are in need. Unlike pure altruism, where an act is performed without anything expected in return, reciprocal altruism has an expectation for future repayment, like the saying “scratch my back and ill scratch yours.” An example of reciprocal altruism would be a community sharing resources and helping a neighboring community after a natural disaster with the expectation that they would do the same for them if they found themselves in need. -Kin altruism: Characterized by feeling more prone to helping a family member compared to helping a stranger. -Egotistical behavior: Behavior focused on the self, it refers to behaviors that are vain, boastful, and selfish. Individuals may help others for their own individual gain and self-esteem. An egotistical act of help would be saving a drowning child with the hopes of being mentioned in the local newspaper or volunteering at a food bank so you can add it to your resume. Genuine help VS. Ingenuine help Genuine empathetic help leads to more effective and sustainable efforts while ingenuine help rooted in personal gain or egotistical motives may disappear when the benefits cease. When help is part of an authentic connection, it becomes a long-term habit versus a fleeting transaction. Genuine help also feels different than ingenuine help. Receiving ingenuine can feel fake and less reliable. It often comes with fair weather support, meaning that the helper is just there for fun, convenience, or personal gain but may disappear when serious help and effort is needed. Ingenuine help may be sloppy, rushed, and low quality. This person may have a negative attitude and try to use guilt tripping to make you feel guilty for needing their help. Ingenuine help may also include aspects of inconsistency, manipulation, blackmail, and performative self-serving efforts. In contrast, genuine help comes with no strings attached. This person is trustworthy and provides consistent support. They want what is best for you and truly care about the quality of help they provide. This person respects your boundaries and listens to what you actually need instead of trying to impose control. Genuine help is reliable and follows through with commitments. How can you use your help to the fullest? -Use empathy and logic to steer your efforts in helping. Empathy provides the emotional spark—a reminder that others’ suffering matters. Logic and reasoning helps steer that motivation toward where help will have the greatest impact. Together, they encourage helping that is both compassionate and impactful! - Practice active listening. Effective help involves active listening, clear communication, and mutual understanding. You must develop an understanding on the task at hand and the expectations before acting. Ask questions so that you can provide targeted support and assistance. -Be mindful of boundaries to ensure that you are not being too pushy or invasive. If you notice that someone may be in need of help, ask them before just jumping in. It is not cool to take someone's opportunity away from them by stripping them of their learning process. Stand by and be there if they need and want help. - When you are on the receiving end of help, it is important to be vigilant to make sure you are not getting misled or taken advantage of. Trust your gut. Observe others behavior and look for patterns. If a person’s words don’t match their actions, create boundaries and distance yourself. You must also be vigilant when you are helping others as well. Ensure that the details and expectations are communicated clearly. Ensure that you are on the same page and align with the same values. Can you trust this person? Is the environment safe and comfortable? Advocate for yourself and your personal boundaries. Do not push yourself too far where you are putting your own wellbeing at risk. Do not put yourself in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. If the situation becomes uncomfortable or unsafe, distance yourself. -If the situation is over your capacity physically, emotionally, intellectually, or professionally, don’t pretend you can do it, help connect them with the proper professional resources. If you were to mess up or share inaccurate information or services, that could potentially fall back on you. Receiving help: -Accepting help can be hard and vulnerable because it can feel like you are showing weakness and incomitance. If you experience resistance towards receiving help, Try to define the root of it. Resistance towards accepting help may stem from a deeper fears, beliefs or past experiences. A few examples are past traumas, the fear of being a burden, perfectionism, the need for control, and the need for independence. -Once you identify the root of your resistance, challenge it and shift it by viewing support as a strength rather than a weakness. Help and generosity assist in building stronger healthier connections and mutual support systems with others. Recognize the courage it takes to ask for help. -Next, practice asking and accepting help in small ways. If asking for help feels like too much at first, start with accepting it. Start by accept help in small low stakes situations. If someone offers to help you with your groceries and you feel safe and comfortable, say yes. And obviously be vigilant and aware of your surroundings before accepting help from strangers. -When you feel comfortable to ask for help, be specific with what you need and use clear communication. This helps to create mutual understanding and reduce anxiety for you and the helper. - The next thing you can do is to show appreciation for the help you receive. Tell them how much their help is appreciated. Say thank you. Help benefits both the giver and the receiver. People enjoy helping, it feels good. It feels good to be of service and to be appreciated. Allow others the opportunity to help you. Give them the gift of adding value to your life. Reciprocate the value with your appreciation and thanks. REFERENCES Altruism. (2026, February 17). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/altruism#:~:text=Altruism%20is%20acting%20to%20help%20someone%20else,feel%20empathy%20and%20a%20desire%20to%20help. Lane, L. D. a. C. (n.d.). Module 11: Helping Others – Principles of Social Psychology. https://opentext.wsu.edu/social-psychology/chapter/module-11-helping-others/ Prilleltensky, I., PhD. (2022, January 4). To matter, we must add value—not just feel valued. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/well-being/202201/what-it-means-matter What makes us help others—the head or the heart? (n.d.). Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_makes_us_help_others_the_head_or_the_heart

    19 min
  4. Feb 22

    Growth mindset vs. Scarcity mindset

    The world you live in is a reflection of the mindsets you choose to adopt on a daily basis. Your mindset includes your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. In today’s episode we will delve into the key differences between a scarcity mindset and a growth mindset and some of the main causes of a scarcity mindset. Lastly, we will discuss why and how you can adopt a growth mindset that supports your wellbeing!! EPISODE NOTES You have the power to positively shift your mindset. A positive mindset rooted in growth and abundance fosters resilience and opportunities while a negative mindset rooted in scarcity can cause discouragement and anxiety. Mindsets are changeable through self-awareness, mindfulness, and consistent conscious effort. By intentionally mediating your internal environment, you have the power to positively shift your external reality. Priming: In psychology, priming is a memory phenomenon that states that stimuli (a word, action, or image) unconsciously influence an individual's response to later similar stimuli. According to Psychology Today, when your brain is already primed by a certain belief to look for something, your brain facilitates faster processing and response by shutting down competing neural networks. So basically, your brain actually makes it harder for you to see evidence of the contrary to an already existing belief. This is why when you believe you are having a bad day you notice everything that goes wrong. Most people don’t realize that you are reading and writing your life story at the same time. Scarcity Mindset vs. Growth Abundance Mindset 1. The view of potential and resources: A scarcity mindset operates from fear, believing that your resources and potential are limited. There is never enough time, money, talent, support, or luck. In contrast, a growth mindset believes that resources and potential are plentiful, and intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and time. A growth mindset focuses on possibilities, solutions, and improvement rather than limitations. 2. The response to challenges: When we are thinking in a scarcity mindset, we feel hopeless, stuck, victimized, and unempowered when faced with challenges. Low self-esteem and anxiety are biproducts of a scarcity mindset, making it harder to problem solve and show resilience. Challenges become barriers that can’t be conquered. When receiving feedback, a scarcity mindset tends to feel offended, self-centered, and victimized. A growth mindset sees change and challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. A growth-oriented mindset is rooted in opportunity, continuous improvement, and abundance. Through a growth mindset, feedback and obstacles are seen as learning tools, not an attack. 3. View of feedback and other people’s success: When receiving feedback from others, a scarcity mindset tends to feel offended, self-centered, and victimized. An individual with a scarcity mindset relies on self-pity and excuses and may feel jealous of other’s success. They may be more likely to compare themselves to others and feel that another person’s success takes away from their own. In contrast, through a growth mindset, feedback from others is seen as a learning tool, not an attack. A growth mindset is able to celebrate other’s success and find inspiration through it. What causes a scarcity mindset? 1. Negativity Bias: Because the brain's core function is to keep the body safe and alive, the brain is wired to be more attentive to negative stimuli and risks than positive experiences. This innate tendency to focus on negative stimuli or danger is rooted in early human history. Thousands of years ago, our ancestors were exposed to immediate threats such as predators and environmental dangers. For our ancestors, this negativity bias in the brain served one purpose, survival. This innate tendency is intended to keep us alive often causes modern brains to fixate on negativity over positivity. Since the brain contains this negativity bias, it means that we tend to expect the worse in uncertain situations first. 2. Scarcity trauma: Scarcity trauma is a generally new term that is used to describe psychological and emotional impact caused by prolonged exposure to real or perceived lack of essential resources according to PositivePsychology.com. Prolonged lack of essential resources such as financial, emotional, or social resources have been linked to negative psychologic effects such as a scarcity mindset. Scarcity trauma can picked up from past life experiences, your childhood, or through your relationships and family members. For example, if your parents openly struggled with money while you were growing up, then you would be more susceptible to developing a scarcity mindset around money later in your life. People in this situation may become overly frugal, hoard resources, avoid taking financial risks, and develop chronic stress. 3. Low Self-Esteem: When an individual believes that they are lacking in smarts, looks, resources, or love, they will automatically look out into the world for proof of their lack and limitations. This leads to self-sabotaging behaviors that reinforce a “not enough” mentality. This goes back to the phenomenon of priming. Your brain searches for proof and related content to your already existing beliefs. Tools that support a positive mindset: Self-awareness: When working towards bettering your mindset, self-awareness is the first step. Self-awareness is the skill of recognizing and understanding one's own emotions, thoughts, strengths and weaknesses, and values. Strengthen your self-awareness by getting to know yourself better. Self-Awareness is about paying attention to how you interact in your life. Be curious about why you do things, how you do things, and how they result. Don’t ignore your feelings, explore them. Tap into the cues, triggers, and urges you have on a daily basis. Exploring the unknown and uncomfortable is scary. We often ignore the hard and confusing feelings because they are uncomfortable. But I encourage you to push yourself to be curious, ask questions, and reflect when thoughts and feelings come up. Ease yourself into it by pushing yourself to identify where the emotion is coming from. Continue to think a little deeper and explore a little farther. Practice self-awareness in a way that feels natural to you. In a comfortable and calm environment, try meditating, observing, and communicating with your inner voice, asking yourself guiding questions, talking to a trusted individual like a therapist or journaling. Strengthen your self-awareness by practicing mindfulness and presence. Consciously be more intentional with what you think, consume, do, and say. Go into your daily experiences with the intention on being present in the moment. Be more observant of the details in your surroundings, the sensations in your body, and the thoughts that cross your mind. Practicing self-awareness in conjunction with mindfulness promotes a growth mindset by highlighting areas for improvement, reflection, and emotional intelligence. By practicing self-awareness, at the very least you will learn more about yourself and be able to make decisions that better align with your true feelings, intentions, and values. Recognize the Negativity Bias: Because the brain's core function is to keep the body safe and alive, the brain is wired to be more attentive to negative stimuli and risks than positive experiences. It is one of your brain's innate tendencies that is meant to keep you alive. However, by recognizing that your brain is likely expressing this negativity bias, you can create awareness and distance from the negative thoughts and think more rationally and positively about your current situation. Creating awareness and distance between you and your thoughts is a way to intentionally detach your thoughts from your identity. You are observing your thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Next time you find yourself stressed and anxious consumed with overthinking and self-pity, ask yourself; am I thinking in a growth mindset or a scarcity mindset. Am I fixating on the problem or am I looking for a solution. Am I being rational? Am I making assumptions, or do I have proof? You can use these questions to guide you through overthinking, help calm you down and manage stress more effectively. Resilience: Resilience is the capacity to adapt to adversity, trauma, or significant stress; it is a "bouncing back" mechanism that fosters psychological, emotional, and behavioral flexibility. Some studies show that resilience can be inherited as a personality trait, but it can also be a skill that can be learned and improved overtime. When you are faced with challenges and obstacles, see them as an opportunity to grow and learn something. Shift your perspective from ugh why is this happening to me to this is happening for me, what am I meant to get from this? What lesson is this teaching me? How can I use this experience to help me move forward? I believe that there is always always always a silver lining. Challenge yourself to search and identify a silver lining in each irritating situation. Find a lesson in the struggle. Look past the surface. What is this situation showing you? This mindset shift fosters reflection and active interpretation about challenges and failures in a positive light reminding you that they are opportunities for growth and strengthening your character. You have the power to see the “good” in any situation and take positive action. Master your internal dialogue: The internal dialogue that you have, including your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself, hugely impacts your self-esteem. Ensure that you are talking to yourself with kindness and patience. I mentioned this tool in a past episode. Talk to yourself like someone you love. Give yourself the same compassion you would give your best friend. Allow yourself the thoughtfulness that you show your family. It ca

    26 min
  5. Jan 25

    Maximize your time, energy, and focus

    Join me in today’s episode, let’s achieve our goals together! Maximizing your time, energy, and focus requires intentionality, prioritization, patience, and rest. We will start by looking at the positive impacts of settingspecific, measurable goals and why prioritizing fewer goals is effective. Additionally, we will explore a few tools to help us break goals into smaller actionable steps and promote consistency, credibility, and motivation. Lastly, we recognize the importance of planned breaks and rest in your schedule.    EPISODE NOTES:   It is interesting, people often rely on temporal landmarks like New Year’s to remind them that time has passed. This symbol of a new year, a blank slate motivates people to think about their lives and evaluate their goals and priorities. But why?   The “fresh start” effect: Psychologically, Temporal landmarks create mental chapters that structure our memories and organize our lives. They feel like a new beginning, a fresh start or a blank slate. They encourage aperception of fresh opportunities and a renewed sense of control over our actions. Studies show that people are more likely to initiate positive changes in their lives and pursue their goals following Temporal landmarks like New Years and birthdays but also smaller examples like the first day of school, getting a new job, moving, or the start of a new week or month.   The Actual self-vs. the Ideal self-theory:  Essentially, the theory compares your current self, including your attributions, your strengths/weaknesses, and your experiences with who you want to be including your values, your goals, and your aspirations. We feel motivated to take action and close the gap between our actual self and our ideal self.  Setting specific measurable goals: When we have a clear and specific goal, it is easier to identify an effective action plan. Clear goals turn abstract ideas into concrete steps.   Identify your why behind your goals: Research shows that setting personally meaningful goals generally have higher success rates because they provide intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation comes purely from within, from a deep sense of interest, enjoyment, purpose, fulfilment, passion, and determination. A goal must be worthwhile and meaningful enough to you to devote yourself to the process. Even when you face obstacles and hardships, intrinsic motivation fuels perseverance and resilience by turning challenges into opportunities for discovery, growth, and learning, making the journey itself enjoyable and inherently valuable. When identifying your goals, ensure that there are elements of intrinsic motivation behind them. Ask yourself, are you willing to do the hard work that is necessary to accomplish this goal? Will you be able to stay motivated even when faced with challenges? Are you willing to be patient and commit to the process?   Prioritizing fewer goals: You cannot do everything at once. There is only 24 hours in a day. Our brains have limited resources. We have limited amounts of energy. Switching tasks and topics constantly drains cognitive energy and decreases quality and progress. Having too many goals at once makes them compete for your attention. In contrast, a targeted focus and commitment to fewer goals promotesdeeper work, deeper curiosity, higher quality, and increased joy in the task. Only prioritize the goals that are most important to you right now. “You can have it all, just not at once” -Oprah Winfrey. While achieving many life goals is possible, it requires patience, intentionality, and prioritized focus.     Action plans/systems: The means to achieve a goal are the action plans and the systems that you put in place to help you get there. Goals provide direction; systems provide progress.According to the book Atomic Habits, a handful of problems arise when people spend too much time thinking about their goals and not enough time designing their systems. Goals daydream over the result, the outcome. Systems focus on the process and the action plan. The process is the day-to-day efforts. It is hard work, patience, and resilience.  In order toimprove for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.   Breaking goals down: By breaking big goals into smaller goals and steps, you are deliberately making your goals more manageable and building positive habits overtime. This slowly creates growth that becomes ingrained in who you are.  Start very small and aim for consistency.This is like the story of the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. Baby steps will prove to be more effective and sustainable than scattered bursts of effort that don’t add up.  For example, Instead of starting with the goal of writing a book, commit to writing for 10 minutes a day. Surely you can do this, you may even find that when you start writing, you continue writing past 10 minutes.     To do, Should do, Could do:  Organize your to do list into 3 categories; to do, should do, and could do. By organizing your tasks beforehand, it provides you with clarity and direction. Organizing your tasks into these three categories helps you build a solid action plan to ensure that you are prioritizing your focus on the most important tasks first. The tasks in your to do category are tasks that are at the top of your priorities, these are things you absolutely need to get done. These are the things that set tomorrow you up for success. Things that bring you closer to your desired life. You must prioritize your focus. Choose 1-3 tasks for your to do list. The next category is your should do list, these are tasks that you should do if you have extra time after you finish your to dos. Lastly, the tasks in your could do category are tasks that are extra things that you could do if you have extra time and you choose to do them.  Importance of planned rest: You do not need to maximize every moment. Not only do breaks and rest help you recharge, it also enhances creativity, information retention, and idea generation. Research shows that rest improves focus, work life balance, and productivity by reducing burnout and stress. Rest is a priority. This is why I make sure to have schedules rests. Make time for intentional breaks and rest in your schedule. Block out time in your schedule for a planned break just like you would for an important appointment. Plan short 10-15 minute breaks and longer full day or weekend rests to truly help you detox and recharge. There are different kinds of rest.  Listen to your mind, body, and spirit. Ask yourself what you need. Are you mentally drained, physically tired, or emotionally depleted. What can you do to intentionally plan pockets of rest into your schedule? How can you take care of yourself while working towards your goals? In this season of your life, with the resources you have, how can you create somebreathing room? How can you work to balance work, play, and rest?  Mentally drained: Take a walk, spend time on hobbies, get outside, watch tv, read, get a nice meal, spend a night in.  Physically tired: Sleep, get a nice meal, take a bath, stretch, read, watch tv.  Emotionally depleted: Spend time with loved ones, take a walk, spend time on hobbies, take a night out, dance, exercise.  Positive Affirmations: Turn your goals into positive, present tense statements. Statements like I am someone who is responsible with my money. I am capable of becoming financially independent. I am someone who takes care of my body. I am getting stronger. I am resilient, I am brave. I am a leader. I am a good student. I am a writer. When positive affirmations are repeated regularly, they strengthen neural pathways in the brain associated with confidence, motivation, and resilience. When you regularly reinforce positive affirmations, you are training your brain to focus on opportunities, positivity, and growth, rather than negativity and limitations. For example, if your repeatedly affirm “ I am brave” then your brain will be more prone to pursue new opportunities with confidence. You may naturally stand taller and speak with confidence. Positive affirmations can be used to help guide your decisions and actions. You are training your brain and yourself. For example, If you are a good student, how do you show up? A good student is prepared. A good student is focused and curious. Tell yourself that you are a good student, then show up as you believe a good student would show up.  Action is key, Affirmations work to train your mind, but action is necessary to turn thought into reality.   The affirmations pave the way, you must provide the will. Will is the strong desire, discipline, anddetermination needed to achieve your goals.  Goal Punch card: Essentially, a goal punch card is a measurable way to work towards a goal and each time you complete the task, you get to check a box off. When you check off all the boxes, you get a reward. You get to give yourself a reward. What would your reward be? Would it be a nice meal, a fun activity, going shopping, a night out, a spa day, a day off, a treat? A goal punch card makes your goals visual, providing a dopamine release with each box you check off increasing motivation and credibility.      References   Mapp, J. W. (2024, December 26). Harnessing the fresh start effect to achieve your goals. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/4000-mondays/202412/fresh-starts-the-psychology-behind-new-year-motivation  Berkman, E. T. (2018). The neuroscience of goals and behavior change. Consulting Psychology Journal, 70(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1037/cpb0000094  Clear, J. (2020, February 4). Forget about setting goals. focus on this instead. James Clear. https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems  The science behind positive affirmations in Coaching Success. (n.d.). https://www.coachhub.com/blog/the-science-behind-positive

    29 min
  6. 12/28/2025

    Quality over Quantity

    Quality over quantity, a meaningful approach that focuses on value over volume.  It suggests that it is not about how much you, it is about how much value it has.   It's about intentionality, slowing down, doing fewer things better, and finding abundance in having enough rather than constantly seeking more. In this episode, we will apply the principle quality over quantity to maximize productivity, conserve energy, promote fulfilling relationships, and bring intentionality to purchases!     EPISODE NOTES  Productivity:   The principle of quality over quantity invites you to focus on one thing at a time, instead of rushing through 5 tasks, do one and do it well then carry on to the next. According to The National Library of Medicine, multitasking can impair cognitive functions such as memory problem solving, and decision making. Even though multitasking may appear effective, it might result in significant time loss and lower task performance. Switching between tasks causes the brain to reposition itself which drains cognitive energy.   Another way that you can set yourself up for success is by choosing one category to devote your focus to for a certain period of time. Instead of jumping around from creative tasks to more logical systematic tasks, organize your to do list accordingly to maximize your brain power and focus. Pair creative tasks with creative tasks. Pair logical tasks with logical tasks. Play around with it a little bit, it might be helpful to devote each day to a certain category of tasks. Like on Monday, I get all the chores done around the house. On Tuesday, I evaluate my finances and work on my investments. Additionally, your physical environment also impactsyour ability to focus and get quality work done. Personal touches, pops of color, a nice beverage, or a snack can lead to better quality work! Other factors like your physical appearance and how you feel about yourself influence work quality and focus as well. Putting more effort in how you present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident and put together is a game changer. Look good, Feel good, Do good!    Relationships:   I would rather have 1 great friend over 100 superficial friendships. Choosing quality over quantity in relationships prompts you to seek depth in connections and emotional support from a few meaningful bonds. Factors like trust, uplift, and respect are more valuable that the sheer number of relationships you have. Partners and friends should help you flourish and seek personal growth, but they should not pick apart the things that make you who you are. When you apply quality over quantity to your relationships, it helps you be intentional with your energy to ensure that you are not draining it on unfulfilling relationships. It also shows you that you always have a choice. If a relationship is depleting your sense of self, you have the option to move on. Your quality of life should not be sacrificed to sustain a relationship.   It is your responsibility to recognize a negative relationship and take action to remove yourself from it or ask for help. There are people out there who would respect and love you for who you are. There are resources and helping hands that want to help you if you are struggling with a toxic relationship. The first step is awareness and the second step is action. No matter how big or small, what can you do to make steps toward bettering your situation. Baby steps.       Time with loved ones:   It is called quality time, because it holds value. You create the quality in the time you spend with your loved ones. Cultivate presence and make the most out both the exciting moments and the mundane everyday moments. Do not take time for granted. Limit distractions and engage. Tell them how you feel, show how much you care, hold them tight, have fun, be silly, get vulnerable, be adventurous, and be yourself. You create the quality in the time you spend with your loved ones.    Value of opinions:  You are not responsible for changing other people's opinions or living up to their expectations. Your quality of life and your perception of yourself are worth more value than the opinions of others. It doesn’t matter all that much about the quantity, what people think of you, how many people believe in you or agree with you, what truly matters at the end of the day, at the end of your life is what you think of yourself.  It is natural and healthy to be considerate of other people’s thoughts and opinions, but it must come after you have built a foundation within yourself through personal discovery, reflection, self-compassion, and seeking personal growth.     Building a quality relationship with yourself:   We choose how we present ourselves, we decide what our priorities and values are, and how we spend our time and our energy. To support a quality relationship with yourself, you must express yourtrue self and make decisions with love, authenticity, and courage. Each action and decision is an opportunity to show up authentically. Make decisions that YOU are proud of. Live a life that makes YOU happy. If is makes you happy, do it fiercely and freely. It is not your responsibility to make other people happy and live up to their expectations. Your quality of life and opinion of yourself is much more valuable than the opinions of others. This is quality over quantity.    Empower yourself with your malleability:   Through every experience, you have had yourself. You have had your own back. This persistence is one of your greatest strengths. It is what I like to call your malleability. To maintain optimism and strength through the twists and turns of life, you must empower yourself with your malleability. This is your capability, adaptability, your ability to find your way, to bounce back, to learn, and to grow. It is your freedom to choose to change, to pivot, to change your strategy, to try again, to step back, or to step up. This malleability helps ground you in an inner knowing of who you are and trust in yourself. You stay grounded in yourself and you will never be lost. When we get wrapped up in other people’s opinions, try to be someone we are not or do things to make others happy even if it depletes us, we are withering this sense of self that is so important. Honor yourself and your values because above all, that is of higher quality.       Quality over quantity belongings and purchases:  Items hold value. The principle of quality over quantity suggests that it is not about how much you have, it is about how much value it has. To promote intentionality in purchases, take a moment and ask yourself, what value would this add to my life? Is the value worth the cost? Am I still going to want this in a week or a month? Do I already have something similar? Could I make it, buy it locally, or look second hand? Is this a micro trend or do I actually like it?     Trends:  you do not always have to be on trend. Your body, identity, and style are beautiful and unique to you. You do not need to chase fleeting beauty standards and fads. Accept and celebrate your authentic self. Lead with your values and tap into your intrinsic worth. Prioritize the things that bring you joy and the people that love you for who you truly are. Trends are temporary; you are permanent. The best things in life are timeless. Time with loved ones, a home cooked meal, a meaningful compliment, achieving your goals, feeling good in your own skin, laughing so hard your stomach hurts. These are the things in life that are of the highest quality.

    24 min
  7. 11/23/2025

    Lean into Gratitude

    Just like the seasons of the year, I believe we go through seasons and changes in our lives. Whether you are in a season in your life full of momentum and abundance or in a season of rest and healing, gratitude should be a part of it. In today’s episode we will dive into the science of gratitude, the impacts it has on us and how we can cultivate more of it! Additionally, I want to share a few ways that we can romanticize this fall and winter season because it is your responsibility to create enjoyment in your life.   EPISODE NOTES Gratitude:It is more than a positive emotion, it is the cognitive and emotional recognition of the things that positively contribute to your overall wellbeing. Gratitude is a deep inner appreciation, an affirmation for the goodness in your life. Gratitude can be felt for tangible things like a warm meal or intangible things like feeling well rested after a good night's sleep. Essentially, gratitude gives you the awareness of the wonderful things in your life like your life, your health, and your loved ones and prompts you to appreciate and take care of them! Studies show that people are generally more grateful during the fall and winter holiday season due to traditions, time with loved ones, and the new year coming up. However, gratitude can and should be cultivated all year round. It should be part of your lifestyle, your routine, a ritual of your wellbeing. Gratitude practices are unique to the individual. They are not meant to feel like a task and add more stress to your life. Quite the opposite actually, a gratitude practice is meant to help ground you and act as a natural stress detox for your mind and body. It is meant to anchor you back with love, strength, and optimism. When choosing a gratitude practice, make sure it is something you can easily incorporate into your day or your week. Make sure it is sustainable and fulfilling for you. Gratitude list: It can be in a journal, in your head, anywhere. The key with lists is that you must be specific and provide depth and detail. Don’t just be grateful for the sun, be grateful for the comforting warmth it brings to your skin and the way it naturally rejuvenates and uplifts you. Gratitude lists are not about how many items you list or how extravagant the items are, it is about how they make you feel. Gratitude feels like warmth in the body, a deep sense of uplift, spaciousness in the chest and heart, automatic tears or an uncontrollable smile.  My favorite way to go about a gratitude list is to reflect on what I am grateful for while I am lying in bed before I fall asleep or right when I wake up. Gratitude letter: You must physically write this letter, sign it at the bottom, everything. Physically writing requires more creativity, presence, and cognitive processing than typing or thinking because it employs motor, visual, and cognitive functions. Write a gratitude letter to yourself, your loved ones, your pets, the trees, the clouds, where you grew up, your favorite place to travel, anything! Pour your gratitude, love, and appreciation into this letter, I promise you, you will feel the full body experience of gratitude uplift you. Be present:  Presence and gratitude go hand in hand. Presence helps you cultivate gratitude and gratitude helps you cultivate presence. When we are present in the moment, we are more likely to recognize the gifts and little pockets of joy in our lives. See anew: Look at the world as if it is the first time you are experiencing it. Romanticize the little moments and details in your day-to-day life. Romanize your daily routines, turn your routines into rituals. Like making yourself dinner, turn on your favorite music, prep your ingredients with care, plate your food like it is art, enjoy each bite. As you are getting ready for bed turn it into a full self-care experience, moisturize your skin, wear your favorite pajamas, light a candle, put the phone down. And don’t tell me you don’t have time. You deserve these moments of self-love. How can you make time for them in your life? Use your free will: You are responsible for making your life enjoyable, that is free will. Instead of passively waiting for joy and excitement, create it by making intentional decisions that bring joy and excitement to your life! You do not need an excuse to dress up, or make your favorite meal, or buy yourself flowers, or hug your loved ones. You are alive, that is reason enough for anything. The present moment is one of a kind, no one knows what tomorrow will bring but you are here right now. Make the most out of the moment, here and now. Let gratitude into your home: The spaces you work and live have a profound impact on your mental wellbeing from your stress levels to your overall mood. A dark, cluttered space that doesn’t feel like home can set the tone for mental health issues, overwhelm, and stress. In contrast, creating an uplifting space with your belongings, personal touches, cleanliness, and organization can foster a sense of calm and clarity and decrease feelings of stress and anxiety. When you take the time to organize and keep your spaces tidy, it is easier to keep track of things and navigate your life with more ease. When you are surrounded with colors and items that are meaningful, it naturally cultivates gratitude. HEY, THANK YOU: Saying please and thank you, these simple manners change the tone of an interaction. Say thank you to the barista who made your coffee, the person who held the door for you, but most importantly, say thank you to your loved ones. Say thank you to your mom for her patience, say thank you to your friends for their support. Keep the effort alive! When someone you love does something kind for you, don't forget to tell them thank you. Just because you know they are awesome, don’t forget to remind them. These recognitions and small acts of kindness help your relationships thrive. They make your loved ones feel valued, loved, and secure. Acknowledging other people's contributions and gifts helps to promote individual growth by increasing their self-esteem and empowering them to continue expressing their positive qualities and seek further personal growth.

    25 min
  8. 10/26/2025

    Intention behind interaction

    Humans are naturally social beings. This is because social connections are crucial for survival, reproduction, and overall well-being, and have been a driving force throughout human evolution. But the source is deeper than that. Social connections and meaningful relationships give us a deep sense of support, belonging and happiness. To interact is to contribute to another being's experience. Interactions and relationships require two or more sides. An interaction is both given and received. It is a two-way road, a personal message. In today's episode, we will explore some important tools that help you interact with purpose, intention, and presence and promote more meaningful, sustainable, and fulfilling relationships with others. We will begin to hone in skills of using active listening, reflection, empathy and compassion in interactions while seeking balance with advocating for ourselves and identifying clear relationship standards. EPISODE NOTES Bid of connection: The effort or invitation to share a positive interaction with another human. It can be verbal or nonverbal, subtle or direct. It may be asking a question or sharing an observation, story, or joke with others. It may also be a physical act of connection like a loving squeeze, a pat on the back, a high five. or a hug. There are three ways to respond to a bid of connection; the first one is to turn towards the bid, this involves responding positively and showing interest. The second way is turning away which involves ignoring or not realizing the bid of connection being made. Lastly, the final way is turning against which is rejecting the bid of connection. When building a relationship or repour with someone, consistently "turning toward" bids of connection helps to strengthen the relationships foundation and build trust and emotional safety. Set an intention: Intentions help turn mindless interactions into mindful connections. An intention is an underlying aim, goal, or focus. Consciously setting intentions guides your behavior and mindset throughout interactions and conversations working to promote presence and intentionality. They act as a personal mantra, if you feel yourself drift or become tense, you can recenter yourself with your intention to help you find clarity and purpose behind your interactions. Active listening: When interacting and conversating, the simplest bid of connection is to listen to the other person, to really listen, to fully immerse yourself in the conversation. Set the intention to engage and learn as much as you can. Make eye contact, ask to follow up questions. Two step reflection strategy: Before an interaction: How do you want to show up? What energy do you want to embody? What is your purpose in this interaction? How do you want to make the other person feel? Does this align with your values and the person you want to be? After the interaction: reflect on whether your actions and words reflected your initial intentions. Reflect on your perspective before and after the interaction, and weigh in new insight, takeaways, and any notice areas that need improvement. Self-advocacy: The ability to speak up for yourself to communicate your needs, rights, and preferences to others. Relationship standards: Your relationship standards are what you fundamentally need to feel comfortable, safe, valued, and fulfilled in a relationship. They dictate what you will and will not allow into your life. They protect your personal wellbeing and the quality of life you want for yourself. What are your relationship standards? Brainstorm the qualities that are non-negotiables for you in a relationship like mutual respect, honestly, trust, communication, and shared values. Think about the person you want to be and the people you want to surround yourself with. You may also benefit from reflecting on past relationships and situations where your needs weren’t met. Past situations and relationships offer real life experience to help you identify what makes you feel loved, safe, fulfilled and what makes you feel unfulfilled, devalued, and unsafe. Think about the person you want to be and the people you want to surround yourself with. “I statements” are a communication technique that you can follow to communicate your standards with others in a clear and direct way without sounding accusatory or rude. They usually start with the word I followed by a description of your experience and emotions then concluded with you stating your standard, boundary, concern, or your desired change. “I” statements intentionally make it about you to avoid blaming others leading them to get defensive. It brings the focus to your internal experience and feelings giving them the opportunity to see your perspective and inviting them to share their own perspective, thoughts, and feelings. “I” statements help to shift away from conflict, me vs. you to let’s be a team and come together to figure this out. Example: instead of saying “you never listen to me” rephase it to “I feel unheard when you appear distracted when I am talking to you.” Then, you can enforce your standards by communicating the desired change. “I would like for you to devote quality time for me without distractions.” Empathy: The effort and skill to understand, share, and respond to another person's feelings and experiences by "stepping into their shoes" to see the world from their perspective. In relationships, empathy can help to build emotional safety and trust. When you try to understand others, they feel seen, heard and valued. Others are then more prone to take the time to empathize with you as well. By employing the use of empathy, you are able to ponder other perspective with more of an open mind gathering more insight and resources to help guide your decision making. Empathy isn’t just about conflict and hardships. When your friend feels excited about an achievement, you can feel that. Your support shows that you care and you want them to succeed. If you see someone sitting alone at a party, you may emphasize with their loneliness and feel inclined to invite them over. These small yet impactful considerations for others are what the world needs more of. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

    27 min

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About

Welcome! I am so happy that you are here! I am your host Dawn Faye, my mission on the Bits of Compassion podcast is to empower others to find their passions, be curious to learn and reflect, to create meaning and fulfilment in their lives, and take initiative in prioritizing their wellbeing. I believe that making the world a better place starts with how you take care of you, from the inside out. When we are happier, we become better friends, better partners, better families, better peers, and better people. I discuss topics pertaining to personal discovery, navigating life, self-help, mindful living, wellbeing, and compassion. We all need a little more compassion in our lives, whether it be for ourselves, for others, or for the world around us. Wherever you are, I invite you to open your heart to live, love, and learn in your journey through this life. Let’s get into the Bits!