Blank Propaganda Machine

Kirk Wilson, Jed Craig, & Kraig Schaulin

Welcome to Blank Propaganda Machine — the comedy channel where satire, absurdity, and unfiltered humor converge to lampoon the world of propaganda and debate. Featuring a lineup of original podcasts, we parody the tactics of media manipulation and over-the-top rhetoric, delivering content that’s as thought-provoking as it is hilarious.

  1. Slap Chop Vince vs Billy Mays (Most Iconic TV Pitch Man?) | Mass Debate

    قبل ٦ أيام

    Slap Chop Vince vs Billy Mays (Most Iconic TV Pitch Man?) | Mass Debate

    On this week's episode, get ready to be sham-wowed as Kraig and Jed shout, slap, and scrub their way through who’s the most iconic TV pitch man: Slap Chop Vince or Billy Mays? Kraig comes out slapping nuts and taking names for Team Vince, calling him a back-alley blender boss, a streetwise slicer who sold kitchen gadgets like he was moving product out the back of an El Camino. He paints Vince as a no-frills, all-thrills hustle machine, while throwing shade at Billy’s “alleged” off-camera antics. Jed fires back immediately, calling Vince a human cartoon weasel and crowning Billy the undisputed king of loud, proud, blue-shirted dominance. He argues Billy’s legacy is so strong he’s basically been canonized in the Church of Ron Popeil, still outselling Vince from beyond the grave. Jed also calls Kraig out for never once sharing a real Slap Chop story, accusing him of having zero hands-on passion for his own argument. Kraig, cornered and unhinged, doubles down with a savage claim that Billy having been Oxi-Cleansed from this mortal coil means he forfeited the crown, proving Vince had the staying power. Moderator Kirk tries to keep the whole thing from going Kaboom, while Hung Juror Chris Morris looks like he’s about to buy something just to make it stop. It’s chop vs clean, pitch vs scream, and a debate so loud it comes with its own “But wait, there’s more!”, on this aggressively exciting episode of Mass Debate!

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  2. Mass Debate: Janet Jackson's Nipple vs Prince (Best Super Bowl Halftime Appearance?)

    ٢٤ مارس

    Mass Debate: Janet Jackson's Nipple vs Prince (Best Super Bowl Halftime Appearance?)

    On this week's episode, things get super bowl-derline unhinged as Professor Safety and Kirk go helmet-to-helmet over the ultimate question: What’s the greatest halftime show of all time - Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” or Prince in the rain? Professor Safety comes out firing like it’s fourth-and-chaos, declaring “the nipple” a pop culture Hail Mary - a moment so shocking it went toe-to-toe with Tom Brady for clutch performance of the decade. He argues it was the last time live TV felt dangerous, before everything got delay-buttoned into oblivion. Kirk counters with full Purple Rain energy, calling Prince’s performance a masterclass in musical dominance, a show so technically perfect it made the weather cooperate on cue. He claims Janet’s moment completely overshadowed the actual music, while Prince somehow united football fans in a shared moment of funk, awe, and very confusing self-discovery. Professor Safety doubles down, saying the releasing of the nipple is now enshrined in the chaotic museum of American history, while Kirk fires back that it was clearly a media plot to spike ratings and scramble brains nationwide. Moderator Kraig tries to keep the game clock running, but this debate fumbles into madness faster than a buttered football, while Hung Juror Jed just keeps asking if this counts as a special teams play. It’s shock vs shockwave, scandal vs spectacle, and absolutely no replay review, on this outrageously overexposed episode of Mass Debate!

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  3. Mass Debate: Family Guy vs King of the Hill (Better Animated TV Comedy?)

    ٣ مارس

    Mass Debate: Family Guy vs King of the Hill (Better Animated TV Comedy?)

    On this week's episode, animation domination turns into annihilation as Kraig and Kirk throw cartoon hands over which animated TV comedy reigns supreme: Family Guy or King of the Hill? Kraig bursts in like a cutaway gag with espresso in its veins, declaring Seth MacFarlane a generational genius and reminding everyone that Family Guy literally rose from the dead because the people demanded more talking baby nihilism. “That’s power,” he says. “That’s cultural dominance.” He then asks, with theatrical smugness, “Where is King of the Hill now?”   Kirk points out that a new season just aired and argues that King of the Hill evolves with its propane-powered precision, while Family Guy just flashbacks its way out of character development. He says Family Guy has been a tired, played-out premise since flip phones and demands proof of MacFarlane’s alleged genius, claiming everything but the first TED movie belongs in the bargain bin of cultural regret, and lists Mike Judge's filmography like a proud honor roll parent. Kraig retaliates by hijacking Kirk’s Q&A time with reverse-interrogation tactics, creating pure moderator mayhem.  When Kirk finally regains control and asks for actual reasoning, Kraig detonates the debate by calling King of the Hill “hillbilly trash” and declaring he’s exhausted by hillbilly culture creeping into his suburban peace. Moderator Jed watches the cartoon civil war unfold like a man who regrets giving everyone microphones, while Hung Juror Chris Morris looks ready to settle this with a lawn chair and a case of Alamo. It’s cutaway chaos vs character arc, propane vs profanity, and absolutely no growth whatsoever, on this explosively animated episode of Mass Debate!

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  4. Mass Debate: Mister Rogers vs Bob Ross (Who Would Win in a Street Brawl?)

    ٢٤ فبراير

    Mass Debate: Mister Rogers vs Bob Ross (Who Would Win in a Street Brawl?)

    On this week's episode, PBS goes pay-per-view as Jed and Professor Safety absolutely suplex your childhood over who would win in a physical fight: Mister Rogers or Bob Ross? Jed comes out swinging for Team Rogers, suggesting that the soft-spoken sweater saint was just method-acting for PBS checks, and once the cameras stopped rolling, he transformed into Heisenberg in loafers, politely asking you to be his neighbor before rearranging your furniture and your jaw. According to Jed, you’d be shocked what Fred was packing under that cardigan - both emotionally and structurally. Professor Safety, meanwhile, turns Bob Ross into a woodland warlock, a perm-powered predator who paints “happy little trees” by day and practices throat-jabs by moonlight. He describes Ross as a soft-spoken sensei whose palette knife doubles as a last-resort weapon, a man whose only true color is crimson canvas carnage. Bob, he argues, is the pinnacle of human evolution - part monk, part lumberjack, part government experiment. As both debaters spiral into oddly detailed breakdowns of brute strength and cardigan tensile durability, Moderator Kirk watches the neighborhood burn while Hung Juror Kraig wonders if Mr. McFeely is ready to get tagged in. It’s wholesome vs hostile, easel vs equalizer, and the bloodiest episode ever sponsored by public broadcasting...and viewers like you, on this aggressively delightful episode of Mass Debate!

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Welcome to Blank Propaganda Machine — the comedy channel where satire, absurdity, and unfiltered humor converge to lampoon the world of propaganda and debate. Featuring a lineup of original podcasts, we parody the tactics of media manipulation and over-the-top rhetoric, delivering content that’s as thought-provoking as it is hilarious.