Blokethings Podcast

Blokethings Podcast
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Welcome to the Blokethings Podcast, your weekly adventure into the weird and wonderful world of Dean and Shane. Join us as we unravel the mysteries of why women live longer than men, providing you with descriptive and insightful discussions, expert interviews (well, we think we're experts – we did live through it and didn't die, ha ha ha!). Each week, we bring you a blend of entertainment, comedy, and information, exploring the latest and greatest things that make our lives both easier and enjoyable. From our modern-day adventures to the crazy world we live in.

  1. 2h ago

    Dropping the Kids at the Pool, Boy Math, Busted Nuts & AI Interpretations

    We on, bitch! We're back in the shed with zero refreshments but plenty of questionable life choices. This week, we're taking Gemini for a spin to decode some premium Aussie slang, and let's just say, HR is not going to be thrilled. From dissecting the physics of "dropping the kids at the pool" to the tragic reality of DIY mechanical work, we cover it all. Dean gets real about his Harley suspension regrets (aka absolute peak "Boy Math"), and we take a terrifying trip down memory lane to the wildest apprentice stories from the country. Grab a beer—just make sure it's poured from a clean jug. What We Tackled TodayThe Great Slang Interrogation: We ask AI the tough questions. Does a rocking horse have a wooden dick? What exactly is a "dog f*cker" on a job site? Digger Danger: The hilarious (and painful) truth about adult men playing with sand diggers and hobby horses. The Country Apprentice Chronicles: A horrifying flashback to the South Fremantle Footy Club involving jugs, tables, and the infamous "piss ring." Dodgy 12-Volt DIY: Why wiring your solar panels with sticky tape and dodging holes in your 4x4 is a recipe for disaster (but we do it anyway). Boy Math & Bikes: Dean explains the financial gymnastics of hiding a $1,700 airbag suspension purchase from the wedding budget after throwing up in his mouth over 13-inch shocks. The Aussie Slang Dictionary (AI Edition)PhraseContext / AI TranslationDrop the kids at the pool A goofy, structural punchline for excusing yourself to the toilet. Dog F*ckerHighly vulgar, industrial-site slang for a bloke who dodges work. HR will fire you. Odd as a frog's ass watertight Biological necessity, otherwise it would drown. Couldn't pour water out of a boot......if the instructions were on the heel. (For the blokes with two speeds: slow and stop). Quote of the Episode:"I was f*****g dropping the kids at the pool, scrolling... and I was like, you're already halfway in, m**********r. So I bought the airbags. I asked for forgiveness, not for permission."

    46 min

  2. Jun 25

    Death Wobbles, Taylor Swift & The 1-Hour Rule

    Join your hosts Shane & Dean for another episode of the Blokethings Podcast. This week, we're kicking things off with the universal struggle of trying to keep the house and gear clean before mates drop round, before diving headfirst into office playlist wars. What happens when you blast Eazy-E and Taylor Swift next to a metalhead boss? Nothing good. We also recount a chaotic Harley run out to a country wake that involved running on fumes, a phantom "death wobble" that turned out to be a loose fuel tank bolt, and sending a few rounds through empty cans with the kids. Finally, we break down the ultimate camping mathematics: the golden rule for matching your travel time to your stay time. Grab a beer (or a Killer Coffee) and get into it. In this episode, we cover: The Pre-Mate Cleanup: Hosing down the driveway, battling the dust, and getting the yard ready for the social club. Office Playlist Warfare: Weaponizing Taylor Swift against a metalhead boss and the sheer panic of an Eazy-E track dropping at the wrong time. The Price of a Carton: Venting about the absolute state of beer prices at the BWS and Snoop Dogg’s surprise appearance on the wine shelf. Bush Barista Chat: Why the black bag Killer Coffees are the ultimate hack for camping, and why rip-and-drip just isn't the same when you're hungover in the dirt. The Harley Wake Run: Racing out to the country, surviving the freezing Noble Falls valley, and the dreaded "death wobble" that almost ended the trip (spoiler: check your fuel tank bolts). Plinking Cans: Teaching the kids how to safely shoot the .22 and .223, and the battle of getting an overtired kid to wear their earmuffs. The Golden Travel Rule: Breaking down our tried-and-true formula for camping trips—one hour of travel equals one day of staying. Plus, planning the next run out to Julimar. Shoutout: Killer Coffee (Bring back the black tea bags!)

    41 min

  3. Jun 18

    Road Rage, Pranks & The Great Piglet Heist

    Picking up right where we left off! After a rough first night, the boys navigate the hangover blues, road rage incidents on Indian Ocean Drive, and the logistics of drone fishing. We also share some legendary school muck-up day stories, discuss the importance of proper camping gear (don't be the 2 guy's with one blanket!), and dive into the "Piglet Heist"—a prank story for the ages.

    36 min

  4. Jun 11

    Bali Hair Horrors & Camping Fails

    Shane and Dean kick things off with a wild recap of a recent trip to Bali that didn't go quite to plan—especially for Dean’s hair. We dive into the "painful" reality of getting dreadlocks done overseas, the struggle of maintaining them, and the search for miracle hair products. Plus, the boys discuss the recent FJ Cruiser convoy trip to Cervantes, gear failures, heated chair mishaps, and the ultimate camping "first night f**k-ups."

    41 min

  5. Jun 4

    Bali Nannys & The Hunt For A Cold Bintang

    This week on the Blokethings Podcast, Shane & Dean are back to unpack the absolute carnage of family obligations. We’re diving deep into the realities of taking the kids to Bali—from the hunt for a Bintang that isn't bathwater-warm, to offloading the kids to the au pair, to surviving the absolute stitch-up that is the indoor go-kart fast lane. Then, we pivot back to WA for a Mother's Day lunch in Forrestfield that nearly ended in a brawl thanks to an overbooked restaurant and one incredibly obnoxious bloke. Grab a cold one (preferably not $22) and rip in. In This Episode, We Cover: Kids Being Kids: The joys of parenthood, including why the backyard is fair game but the kindy lawn is not. The Bali Survival Guide: Tackling the airport run, the truth about the Hard Rock Hotel, and why a digital au pair (an iPad) is a parent's best friend. Food Fails & Wins: Overcooked brisket at the "Fork", the glory of a perfect steak at Yellowstone, and why Bali KFC just hits different. The Bintang Index: The eternal struggle of finding a frosty beer in Kuta without paying resort prices, and the absolute beauty of a $2.50 bucket beer at Blue Lagoon. Mother’s Day Carnage: Navigating a crammed Italian restaurant in Forrestfield, putting up with whinging diners, and planning a tactical retreat from family functions. Bike Banter: Wrapping up with some thoughts on brand loyalty and why a new Indian motorcycle might just be an "electric bike." Here are a few quote options pulled straight from the episode, They perfectly capture the banter, chaos, and absolute frustration of the stories: "You can't control them at your house... How do you think you're gonna control them on a plane? That's why I had zap collars on them." "Let's take the kids to go and get them used to Bali and dump them on someone else's lap. That's what you did. Gun good story." "He can't [swim]. He thinks he can, but he can't, he can drown. He can sink really well. She's a fish, he's a boat anchor." "I knew that I was gonna be on Bintang... so the f*****g diet's going out the window. No f***s given." "You got to accept Bali for what it is... It's tropical, you can have some f*****g cold beers and be f*****g cheap." "I've got a list of places I want to try barbecue... Come out, it was f*****g dog shit. All overcooked... I was like f*****g over it." "Probably one of the highlights of Bali... was f*****g bomb like proper. Proper like it used to be. Crispy f*****g KFC." "Read the room you f******d... I don't think you understand, like this guy's ruining everyone else's day in the whole place... Why can't I do it back to him?" "Don't be a f*****g miserable c**t, ruin the whole f*****g place's Mother's Day. They're doing their best. They're overbooked. They didn't choose that." "You know what the worst part is? He's done the brand recognition. Guess what shirt he had on? An Indian t-shirt... If you're listening, your wife would be much happier if you ride a Harley, mate. Not an electric bike."

    50 min

  6. May 28

    Fistfights, Pissy Puddles & Proud Dad Moments

    Welcome back to another beautifully chaotic round of the Blokethings podcast! This week, the boys are swapping some highly questionable "proud dad moments" that perfectly capture the absolute rollercoaster of raising kids. Shane breaks down a wild 24 hours involving teenage schoolyard brawls, ER visits, multiple suspensions, and a buggy rollover. Meanwhile, Dean on the younger side of parenting, we hear about the genius of bribing your kids to clean up dog shit for Bali pocket money—and the sheer, exhausting defeat of watching your son take a leak directly on the patio. It’s one step forward, two steps back, and a whole lot of laughs. The High School Rumble: Shane gets the dreaded "don't freak out" phone call. Find out how a petty photo turned into a full-blown schoolyard brawl, ending with the sisters backing each other up ("one in, all in") and catching multiple days of suspension. The Buggy Rollover: Because a fistfight wasn't enough for one week, Shane’s oldest daughter survives a buggy crash while living her best life in "passenger princess mode." The Bali Hustle: How to successfully outsource your yard work. A six-year-old learns the value of a dollar (and the art of delegation) by cleaning up dog shit for holiday cash. The Pissy Puddle: The ultimate moment of parental defeat. What goes through Dean's mind when his youngest son decides the patio is a toilet—and then uses it like a muddy puddle. Memorable Quotes from the Episode: "F**k around, find out, and they found out." "Are you okay, Crash Bandicoot?" "If you don't take that photo, none of this starts. Actions have consequences." "He's using it as a puddle... A pissy puddle." Next time on Blokethings: The boys will be recapping their FJ Cruiser run and the family trip to Bali!

    34 min

  7. May 22

    The Dick Mark, Feral Nicknames and Cousin Steve's 70th

    Welcome back to another episode of Blokethings! This week, the boys are completely off the rails. We kick things off with a highly questionable facial injury courtesy of the jiu-jitsu mats before diving headfirst into the origin stories of some of the most feral nicknames we’ve ever heard (shoutout to "Cheesegrater" and "Squid"). Then, we recap the absolute stitch-up that was Cousin Steve’s 70th birthday camping trip down at White Hills. From 4WD navigational disasters and FJ Cruiser crawl-control flexing, to sinking rums until 4:30 AM and enduring the 3-day hangover from hell, this trip had it all. Grab a beer (unless you're still recovering like us) and get into it! The Jiu-Jitsu Injury: Explaining a suspiciously placed friction burn to the HR department and why the gi jacket is basically a weapon. Top-Tier Nicknames: How a legendary Kelmscott local earned the name "Cheesegrater", dodging the nickname "Sausage" to become "Predator", and the 5-year delayed realization that "Callum Murray" sounds exactly like "Calamari" (hey, Squid!). Navigational Nightmares: Getting hopelessly lost via Google Maps, ending up at Preston Beach, and reluctantly saving a stranded 200 Series driver using the trusty rail gun. 4WD Flexing: Putting the FJ Cruiser’s crawl control to the test on soft sand and blowing minds without touching the pedals. Cousin Steve’s 70th: A masterclass in overpacking, Bush Company awnings, Ozbraai setups, and the young blokes going way too hard on the Captain Morgan. The Morning After: Waking up like zombies on 2 hours of sleep, throwing up in the sand, and the brutal, traffic-jammed drive home (always take the Charles Street exit!). 💡 Quote of the Episode"I said, if Dean and Phil can do this with the tarp from the top of the dunes all the way down, we can do better with two Bush Company awnings."

    38 min

  8. May 14

    DIY Campers, Learning Chinese & The Uber Ride from Hell

    Shane and Dean are back in the studio to recap a wildly chaotic week. Dean is burnt out from the demands of his new job and avoiding Jiu-Jitsu, but he's making up for it by trading questionable Aussie slang and Chinese translations with his coworkers (while trying to dodge HR). Shane breaks down his new DIY camper trailer project—converting an old MDC Jackson forward-fold—which nearly resulted in a lethal gas strut accident and a paper wasp attack. But the real meat of the episode is the boys' attempt to get fitted for Bali wedding suits in Midland, which violently derailed into a massive 10-pint Sunday session, a highly questionable Uber ride, and a Monday morning hangover filled with chicken burger regrets.In This Episode, We Cover:Work Stress & Cultural Exchange: Dea vents about his new job, doing god knows what, and the hilarious (and potentially HR-violating) cultural exchange of teaching his Chinese coworker dirty Aussie slang.The DIY Camper Trailer Project: Shane explains his plan to rip the tent off a high-walled camper trailer to mount a Kings rooftop tent and 1300mm drawers. Plus, the absolute danger of heavy-duty gas struts and cutting into a trailer frame full of angry paper wasps while wearing thongs.The Midland Suit Fitting: Rounding up the lads for beach-themed wedding suits, dealing with Ricky the "Mystery Man" showing up late, and the absolute sticker shock of a $800 shoe and sock bill.The Sunday Bender: What was supposed to be a quick trip to the pub turns into a massive 10-pint session at the Midland Tavern, complete with live bands and revving up the local pensioners.The Aftermath: A blind Uber ride home, starfishing on the bed by 6:30 PM, surviving off Carnival Central lollies, and Dean waking up in a panic wondering if he actually cooked the chicken he fed his kids.Notable Quotes:"I'm looking to get in, out, pub as quick as possible so the missus doesn't know.""Here I am, running around in shorts and thongs... as I'm cutting the thing, there's a huge nest of paper wasps in there. Almost died.""I was starting to think there in the bed. I was like, did I feed the kids? Was the chicken cooked? Are they eating raw chicken?"

    31 min
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About

Welcome to the Blokethings Podcast, your weekly adventure into the weird and wonderful world of Dean and Shane. Join us as we unravel the mysteries of why women live longer than men, providing you with descriptive and insightful discussions, expert interviews (well, we think we're experts – we did live through it and didn't die, ha ha ha!). Each week, we bring you a blend of entertainment, comedy, and information, exploring the latest and greatest things that make our lives both easier and enjoyable. From our modern-day adventures to the crazy world we live in.

Information

  • Creator
    Blokethings Podcast
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    124
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Blokethings Podcast
  • Show Website
    Blokethings Podcast