Botched Archives

Botched Archives

Not long ago deep in the Appalachian wilds, a group of misfits joined forces to play dungeon’s and dragons. Inspired by boredom and equipped with loose morals and a questionable understanding of the rules, our heroes travel forth to explore strange new lands. Gather up your dice, your manuals, and your livers and join us on a quest to make absolute fools of ourselves. This is botched a DND podcast

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    Father of Mine

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! This is it folks! The final episode of Season 5! It all comes down to this. The forces of...the crew, vs the forces of...Father? Not really a good and evil thing here so much. They’re both kinda crap really. The crew rallies behind their newest allies, the Tenebras as they enact a plan they think will be able to neutralize Father’s biggest strength: a really big laser that blows up planets. The crew isn’t really great at making friends so I’m not sure who else could even come to their aid at this point. What defense will they use to counter the laser? Who fights alongside the crew, who fights alongside Father? How will the battle be determined? You will win, and who will fall? Most importantly, who is going to save the crew from their own stupidity? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf, TheGamersGalaxy Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Do You Goatse What I Goatse?

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The show has gone to the most deranged and disgusting place in history...inside Yokkish’s mind! Actually, it seems pretty empty inside aside from all that chiming noise, versions of the crew, and some random building. Inside, they know Father is waiting. They must face off in order to expel him from Yokkish’s mind. I’m sure Yokkish, and three figments of his imagination will have no issue against an all knowing, all seeing, planetary god being who has the power to blow up planets. How will they hold their own against Father? What are the rules to a mind fight? Can they even remove Father without killing Yokkish? How f****d up and perverted is the internal representation of Perkins? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf, TheGamersGalaxy Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Jenna-Cide

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The deal is struck and the plan is in motion. Yokkish and Todd have already begun construction of a tower to draw the fire of Father. Meanwhile, Rowan is on a Not’n’avi ship and preparing to take it over. On the ship, you would think the Not’n’avi would be prepared for anything...but maybe they just didn’t make a contingency for a random person hopping aboard on their home planet.That being said, Rowan, and Clipsworth will do their darndest to use all the tools at their disposal to take over the ship. How will Rowan defeat all of the Not’n’avi? Will the tower be completed before she gets done? What happens if Father double crosses the crew? What is the crew going to do with the now converted Yokkish? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Burning The Donkey At Both Ends

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Yokkish has made a deal with Father. In exchange for giving him the chance to destroy the Not’n’avi homeworld, he must be a loyal servant to Father. When the mission is over, it will be Yokkish’s task to bring new worlds into the fold, or bring them destruction if they refuse. The rest of the crew however, does not seem particularly enthused at this prospect. Not that they know all the details, but they know something is up with Yokkish, and they don’t like it. The crew has now crashed onto the Not’n’avi homeworld and must complete their mission. Yokkish and Todd have set out to construct the tower to focus Father’s energy. Perkins is trying to get the ship back up and running. Meanwhile Rowan has decided to try and infiltrate a Not’n’avi ship after upgrading her mech suit. How does she modify it? How are Todd and Yokkish going to move these giant crates? How is this technologically advanced race apparently so blind? At what DPN does your donkey burn? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Papa Was a Rolling Planet

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The crew have come to the planet Father, home of the Pequar. While this planet has been known to be a source of a bunch of hippies, apparently planet killing technology also exists here. The crew is going to figure out where it is, and of course steal it! Yokkish has decided to take it upon himself to enter into the Father tube. However, it seems that Father is actually a sentient planet. Father also seems to be responsible for the birth of...well...everything. I’m not sure how much of this is to be believed...but he certainly believes it. What does Father want with Yokkish? How will Yokkish convince Father to help them destroy the Not’n’avi? Why have the Pequar been destroying planets? How has Perkins not exploded into a fireball being so close to this planet? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Goin to the Chapel

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Waking up from an induced sleep the crew finds themselves in the middle of quite the pickle! First off, they didn’t want to be put under against their will, but they don’t really have time to think about it. The Not’n’avi are attacking! With a mostly upgraded ship and some nifty new suits the crew has to shoot their way out. The Tenebris energy wall is no longer a viable defense as the enemy has figured out how to worm their way through the hole. With their new found stuff, the question now becomes, where to next? Does Rowan’s suit stop her shifting abilities? Where is her exo suit? What’s going to happen to the Tenebris? How have the Not’n’avi been tracking them this whole time? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Not a Great Plan

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Much to the sadness of the crew, they won’t actually be replaying all of Season 1 of Botched: A D&D Podcast. In fact, the simulation ended just before Yokkish could experience the joys of Elvish Medicine. Meanwhile the Tenebris have been outfitting the ship with some technology that will allow them to pass through the energy field unharmed. There is probably one slight detail that the crew forgot about. That they were hired by the Not’n’avi to disable that energy wall. How will they explain this to the Not’n’avi? Do they have a back up plan? Where in the universe is safe from the space Nazis? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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    Deja Bro

    Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Wait, they’re still playing through season 1? Geez, well at least this time around there’s a reason for some of the stuff going on. Why do so many goblins keep spawning? Computer program! The strangest thing about this episode, is how eerily similar some things went in this one as the counterpoint back at the beginning. We did not fake the rolls (regardless of what Australia says), I suppose sometimes the dice gods just like the story the way they like it. Hold up, so if they’re replaying through season 1. What happens when they get to the door in the goblin cave? If someone is in need of medical aid, who will provide it? Will any limbs be taken? Tune in and find out! We now have a PO Box! Wanna send us something? PO BOX 3178 Gettysburg, PA 17325 A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can take our show on the road! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, pint glasses and more! Give us a 5 star review over on Itunes. Doing so will help the show grow, but we will also read out whatever you write at the end of one of our episodes! Feel free to email us any questions, comments or suggestions at BotchedPodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, subscribe on Youtube, like us on Facebook. You can watch the show live on Twitch! Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Tristan Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Tristan, Jenna Editor: Dennis Producer: Phil and Dennis Executive Producers: James Thatcher, He Who Is Steve, Zach Anderson, Chronic Ejac, Jim Beverly, Seth Skinner, Shannon Tucker, Big Jon, Bmel, Clay, Daniel H, Disgruntled Furniture, Notordirf Publisher: Phil and Dennis Art by Emily Swan Music by Gozer

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Not long ago deep in the Appalachian wilds, a group of misfits joined forces to play dungeon’s and dragons. Inspired by boredom and equipped with loose morals and a questionable understanding of the rules, our heroes travel forth to explore strange new lands. Gather up your dice, your manuals, and your livers and join us on a quest to make absolute fools of ourselves. This is botched a DND podcast

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