Boundaries Aren't Selfish

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What does it look like to stop abandoning yourself just to keep the peace?

In this episode of Do Better with Debra, I'm joined by Rebekah Tayebi for a real and honest conversation about boundaries, what they are, why they feel so hard, and what it actually takes to live them.

This is not a conversation about "just saying no." This is a conversation about patterns. Conditioning. And the cost of being the one who always shows up for everyone else but yourself.

Rebekah is a therapist, mindfulness teacher, and parent coach who brings both clinical insight and lived experience into her work. Together, we explore how people-pleasing gets formed, how early relationships shape our need to be seen and liked, and why so many of us wait until we're completely depleted before we finally set a boundary.

We talk about how boundaries live in the body, the fatigue, the resentment, the disconnection and what it means to start listening to those signals instead of overriding them. Rebekah shares the difference between internal and external boundaries, and why both are necessary if we want to stay connected to ourselves while being in relationship with others.

We also go into the realities of boundaries at work, the fear of being seen as difficult, the pressure to overperform, and the moment when you realize you don't have to stay in environments that don't value you.

This conversation is honest, layered, and at times uncomfortable because it asks you to look at yourself.

If you've ever felt like setting a boundary makes you selfish… If you've ever said yes when you meant no… If you're tired of carrying more than your share…

This episode is an invitation to pause and ask yourself:

Where am I leaving myself?

My hope is that you hear something that helps you come back to yourself, not perfectly, but intentionally.

Key Takeaways

Boundaries are not selfish; they are how we come back to ourselves

People-pleasing is often rooted in early experiences of needing to be seen, loved, or safe

The body signals when a boundary has been crossed, through fatigue, resentment, and disconnection

Internal boundaries (what we allow ourselves to hold onto) are just as important as external ones

Workplace environments often reward overextension, but you still have a choice

Setting boundaries can feel awkward and messy and that's part of the process

About Rebekah Tayebi

Rebekah Tayebi, LCSW, is a therapist, mindfulness teacher, and parent coach with over eighteen years of experience working with teens, adults, and families. Her work is rooted in relationship, honesty, and practical tools that support lasting change.

She specializes in developmental trauma and integrates mindfulness, embodiment, and trauma-informed practices into her work. Rebekah is also a 500-hour certified yoga teacher and leads Yoga for Trauma Recovery workshops.

She is the co-author of The Wanderlust Warrior Project and has developed curriculum for teens and young adults, with published work in Elephant Journal and Breathe Together.

Her approach is grounded, compassionate, and real, helping people reconnect to themselves and build the skills needed for healing.

Website: https://satyafamilycoaching.com/

About the Host

Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. is an executive coach, consultant, and the voice behind Do Better with Debra. She currently serves as Chief Equity Programs Officer at Alliance College-Ready Public Schools in Los Angeles, where she leads system-wide strategy focused on belonging, college readiness, and postsecondary success.

With more than 25 years in education and leadership, Debra supports women of color leaders navigating complexity and change, without abandoning themselves in the process.

Connect with Debra

Website: www.dobetterexecutivecoaching.com LinkedIn: Debra Y. Griffith, Ed.D. Instagram: @dobetterwithdebra