BREATHE N BOUNCE

polarlinesUSA
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Real conversations about starting over, mental health, relationships, mistakes, and figuring out who the hell you're becoming.

  1. 2d ago

    SANTOSHA AND SHENANIGANS: Finding a way to accept life as it is and be Ok with it ECXLVI

    What are we OK with?  What works for us?  What if we can't find it? Is there a way to just be fine with that? I ask these questions today and talk about how I feel about it all and where it has brought me now.  Also big announcements for Breathe and Bounce as well.   HIGHLIGHTS You are not the same way every day. But on that regard, you have to find the things that make you happy. You have to find the things that make you want to do, you know, all the good stuff. You have to find those things. That's part of the journey, right? You know, we hear about the journey. Everyone talks about that journey. Well, it is a f*****g journey. Unfortunately, it's like a f*****g marathon, you know. That's something my mentor said to me, and then Ice Cube said it in a much more vulgar way. Life's not a track meet; it's a marathon. Those words were said to me by my mentor, verbatim, and then about five years later, I heard Ice Cube quote them in a song. And it's true.   And sometimes the ego wants us to be right, but does it matter if we're right? At the end, what does that do for the Santosha? What does that do for the contentment? It does nothing. It pulls you away from it, actually. So contentment is not something that just happens. It's something you have to work at, especially if you have been living life for like 40, 5060, years a different way to have to reset the clock and start over from scratch. That's a lot of work, and the end result will be beautiful. Because I'm telling you this. Every day in my life, I start to feel a little bit more okay, and I don't want to fight, and I don't want to be an a*****e because I've historically been an a*****e to people, I have because of my ego, because of my fragile skin, because of my needing to be right. I don't need to be right anymore. If I know I'm right, that's okay. If someone else wants to believe I'm wrong, then f**k it   So we come to this point where we think we know everything, right? Because we're so smart, we're so f*****g capable, and all that other shit. But the truth of the matter is, maybe we don't know as much as we did. Now you know. Maybe we needed have a little help. I think one thing that traps us-one of those little bear traps we walk into. Is the opinion of others, the opinion of what people think of us, that validates ourselves, and I think we search for that.

  2. Aug 23

    THE SIGNS OF THE SHIFT: Is the universe trying to tell you to let go of something ECLXV

    We have things happen to us and we can't explain them.  We tried to do everything right and stay on the path.  Yet, sometimes things don't work out and we lose our way.  We then go back to the drawing board and try to figure out how to keep things in our life that may not belong anymore or don't serve us.  What will happen if we do just that? How scary is it to just trust the universe and move forward in a completely opposite direction?   HIGHLIGHTS FROM SHOW  here's the thing about this show: is I play lots of crazy music. I play music from every genre. I come up with shit that you probably have never even heard of, and that's what's so fun about this show. Just like in life, shit happens to you that you never thought would happen. Shit thought that things happen to you that you never thought you would have heard of. I can tell you right now that many of us that are teenagers probably have no idea what the trajectory of our life is going to be in 20 years. Because I will tell you what happened to me in 20 years. I owned a f*****g business. Now that business is crippling me, and it's crippling me in more ways than I can talk about today on the show. But it's great to have your own business, and it's great not to work for the man. However, sometimes you have to say to yourself, "Is it time? Is it time to go in another direction?    You feel like everything's good. But during that period of time, it feels kind of icky, right? You feel stressed. You feel heavy. You feel like the walls are coming down on you. You feel panicked. You feel like you can't breathe, and all you're trying to do is get something done, trying to make a living. But then sometimes you have to ask yourself: Maybe this is not for me. Maybe I need to change something. Maybe I need to find a way to get rid of this pressure and put the energy to something else. Maybe that's what it is. The thing is, answers don't just pop up in front of our face and give us an easy path. No. Sometimes we have to sacrifice. Sometimes we have to walk differently. Sometimes we have to think differently. Sometimes we have to let shit go. Because the only way you can see is by dropping the glasses. You know,

  3. Aug 17

    ESCAPE FROM VICE CITY: How I am dealing with my addictive personality ECLXIV

    No I am not talking about Miami.  I am talking about the place you go to find a way to get something that you are missing inside.  Filling the hole as my wife has said many times.  I have tried to fill the hole many ways.  Right now, it's gambling.  Although not serious, I have to look at my family history and my nature to understand why I must take action now to minimize damage, or suffer consequences later.  I am hoping people can learn from my story here and that's the talk of the day today.   HIGHLIGHTS I think I have a gambling problem. Yeah, yeah, I think I do. I remember I went to Vegas a few months ago with my wonderful, beautiful hot wife, and I won $2,000. Since then, I've been playing slot machines here and there, at least once a week, and that might seem kind of not excessive to some people, but for me, it's pretty excessive. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I'm gonna tell you why. I have an issue with gambling. I have an issue with gambling because I have a very addictive personality. I get addicted to things quick. I get addicted to junk food. I get addicted to substances, maybe drugs. I haven't done drugs in a long time. Don't worry, it's been been a long time, like 20 years. Um, get addicted to video games   Why too much is not always good. The excess. You know, when you do too much of something, it gets boring sometimes, right? It is. Repetition doesn't always. It doesn't always make everything. It doesn't make everything better all the time. It sometimes makes things harder. When you eat a lot of food, what happens? You feel sick, right? You feel like sometimes disgusting, and I think a lot of times when you're in it and you're filling that hole, right, that we talked about, you're like you're not really seeing it because it's it's hard to stop yourself when you're in pain. When you're in pain, you want anything to take away that pain, and you don't care what it is. You'll take medicine. I mean, look at sports stars. Look at wrestlers. Some of them are in so much pain. They take these hardcore painkillers, and they end up becoming dependent on them because they use them so often. Maybe you're not built to be the saffling, and it's like because there's so much money in the line, there's so much. We sometimes build ourselves up into certain places that we don't have an escape hatch. We just have to keep moving forward with what we have because if we don't, we're going to lose our spot. We're going to lose all the things that we accumulated in our life, and it's funny because that is something Tyler Durden says in Fight Club is that there comes a time in life that the things you own start to own you.   It makes it easier to give yourself a rule book. So all you got to do is just keep working on that, and eventually you're going to find it. And one thing that I know is that one day at a time shit. That one day at a time shit is f*****g helpful. If you can tell yourself just for today, I won't do this. That helps, because instead of saying every day for the rest of your life, you're only taking a 24-hour day, and think about it-you sleep about five to eight hours during that day anyway. So now you've knocked it down to, you know, roughly 15 to 20 hours

  4. Aug 9

    BE YOURSELF AND DON'T CRASH: Learning How to live with mental illness and the authenticity that is required for it ECLXIII

    First off, I take a moment to address the concerns regarding the facetime and chronicle from this weekend. Then we talk about living life the best way we can.  Being ourselves.  Living a raw, honest, authentic existence.  Not worrying what people think of us despite how we feel.  Everyone has shit to deal with and everyone has victories as well.  We are all on our own path, and we shouldn't have time to concern ourselves with how others do things.  I talk about that as well as a lot of other shit.  Fun episode for sure.   HIGHLIGHTS FROM SHOW   I wanted to address something real quick before we go on with the show, and it kind of falls in the theme of today's show. So this past week was a real rough week for me, and I talked a little bit about the depression I was feeling on Friday during FaceTime, and I wrote about it on the Chronicle yesterday, and I want to just let people know that I am good. I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm okay, and everything's cool because I got a lot of private messages. I got a lot of things saying you're loved, which I appreciate all that. So thank you, thank you for saying all that. But I will tell you this much: I am not a f*****g quitter. So, the one thing I will not do is quit on life, no matter how tough it gets. But what I will say is this: as I am also not a bullshitter, if I am feeling something, I am going to express it, and I am going to tell you about it. I am not going to keep it locked in here, and I'm not going to sit here and play the little good vibes only game that people would like me to play. It's the thing that I've learned about life is when you are not feeling well, then it disturbs people. Okay, and you know what? If my life disturbs you, then get a f*****g life. Seriously, if you are someone that really cares, then I love you, and that's beautiful. If you just want to make sure I'm okay, so you can sleep well at night, you know, I may never be okay. I mean, hell, I may not be okay right now when I'm talking to you. I mean, I'm feeling stable, but it doesn't necessarily mean that everything in my life is sugar bowls and cherries and shit, right? But I'm okay, and that's the important thing. And I just want people to know that. And you don't have to worry about Michael like hurting himself    I've made some decisions that have f****d me, that have made me depressed because I am suffering the consequences of my actions, and no one likes to suffer, and the best thing we can all do is just sit through these things and just let them play out and hope that they don't bite us in the ass. And I'm sorry, there are decisions you're going to make in life that will bite you in the ass. You just have to wait for your ass to heal. And I will say this much: killing yourself is not going to make your ass heal. You may you may not have a chance to do anything, heal anything if you do that. Because once you punch that ticket in, it's over. There is no more coming back from that. There is no trying to make amends. With people, there is no giving people time to digest you. There's none of that anymore. That shit's over with. And here's the thing: if people can't digest you, like I think her name is Skydaddy, let them f*****g choke. Because you live for you. You do what you need to do, and if you're not hurting anyone, if you're not stepping on anyone, you continue to do what you need to do. And if you do end up stepping on someone or hurting someone, you try to make good for it and you move on. And that's the important thing. So that's the reason why. Yes, I was very depressed, but I'm good, and I just want to come here and let everyone know that I'm good, and I am gonna. I'll tell you right now. There are gonna be times that I come on breathing bounds, whether it be on the FaceTime, whether it be on the Chronicle, whether it be right here on the show. That I'm gonna tell you I'm f*****g depressed. There is gonna be times, and there are gonna be times where I take you in real dark places because of my depression. Because I want you to feel what I'm feeling because if you're someone that doesn't deal with depression, I want you to understand how serious it is. And if you are someone that does deal with depression, I want you to know that I see you and I know what you're going through, and you are not alone. And those those things are very important. Now, now that I got all that shit out of the way, let's go on with the show. And if you're watching this on video, www.breathandbounce.com. If you accidentally came across my video, so I want what I'm talking about today is really very much about all that depression, and I'm talking about hitting the wall, and we hit walls all the time in life. We find ways to make our life more f****d up than it is, or you know whatever. Or maybe we're living this beautiful life, and then reality smacks us in the face, and we have to say shit. I am here to let you know that you are not going to go through your life beautiful peaches scenes.   You know, there's nothing wrong with not feeling happy all the time. You know, some people sit here and they say, "Oh, you have to be happy. Be happy. Happy's great. We want to feel so happy all the time. We want to f*****g f**k ourselves with a happy dildo. I mean, you can't be happy all the time. It is completely illogical to be happy all the time. And if you think you are happy all the time, what about all those moments when you're sitting by yourself and you feel disappointed about something that might have happened to you? Does that mean you're still happy? Oh, I try to keep a positive attitude. You know what? It's okay to keep a positive attitude, but don't push your positive attitude agenda on all of us because some of us are not ready for that. We're not ready to digest that. You know, it's kind of like you go to a bar, you know, and they have jello shots. Maybe you're not a jello shot person, and maybe you don't need the happiness jello shots coming your way. You need to just be alone and drink your f*****g Jack Daniels in the corner and say f**k it, right, right.

  5. Aug 3

    OLDER COLDER AND BOLDER: How do I deal with getting older and the hard shit that comes with it ECXLII

    As I get older, I wrestle with my life.  Did I make the right decisions?  Was it a productive life? Did I do the right things?  I even think about if is it time for me to go.  How the hell do you walk that shit back?  All this lovely b******t I talk about today as well as so much more.  Nice soundtrack today too.   HIGHLIGHTS  If you saw the Michael moment face Friday FaceTime on Friday, then you know, you know that I have been feeling kind of s****y. I was talking about a lot of image issues, like you know, self-image, just not feeling good. I didn't like the way my hair looked. I didn't like the way my body looked. I didn't like the way my bank account looked. Yeah, I was really negative during that, and I mean, I tried to turn it around, obviously, and make it positive, and talk about, you know, that. I think the ultimate thing was when I've tried to discuss problems with people, they will say, "Well, we all got problems, and it really, I think, as when you're trying to open up to someone, and that's the response, it is one of the most invalidating b******t things that someone could say. So at that point, you know, you feel defeated and you feel alone. And here's the truth: I've been feeling really alone for the last year or so, and I think part of that came from the fact I did.  I I just want to look normal and I want to be normal, And I guess I don't know what normal is, but I mean, well, the truth of the matter is, is that as we get older, the clock's ticking, right? The clock is ticking on life because we never know when our number is going to get called. We never know when we're going to be pulled, and we never know when we're going to have to face that time when we come face to face with God. And I feel like I've got a lot of unfinished business going on right now. I have a lot of unfinished business with being a parent, being a husband, putting this show on the map, and getting people, and just helping do my part to try to help people through their shit, whether they rage out, whether they feel depressed, whatever it is.  All right, you are going into the swimming pool, and you are the only person in that pool. When you go into the pool, the pool is clean, right? There's nothing in there. It might be a little chlorine, but there's nothing unless you are pissing and shitting in that pool. You don't have to worry about the little kids coming in there and doing it for you. You don't have to worry about other people coming, bringing their shit in there, right? And when I say shit, I'm not smart the literal shit. I'm just too much like whatever shit, you know. They got some skin shit, and it's going. I don't want to. I don't want to scare people from going into a swimming pool, so I'll shut the f**k up. But here, so you're in this pool, and when you're in this pool, one person comes in, and they are bringing their shit into the pool. And then two, then three. Eventually, there are f*****g 25 m***********s in that pool, and you started there with a clean pool, and now you don't know what the hell's going on, right? So obviously, you're going to get out of the pool. But the pool was yours. You enjoyed the pool. You wanted to go in the pool. You didn't want people to ruin it for you. Your experience in the pool, that is. So. When you get out of the pool, the question is this: Are you going to go back in the pool? Yeah, when shit clears out, you will, right? And that's what we do in life: is we don't understand that the pool is always there for us. The pool is always there for us to swim in. The pool is always there for us to hang out in.

  6. Jul 27

    THE CAGE OF REGRET: How do I deal with the consequences of hurting others ECXLI

    I get down and dirty about my depression lately which is dealing with consequences on how I have treated people and actually understanding the scope of damage that I have caused to people long term and short term.  How do I feel better? How do I forgive myself? How do I find patience for people to forgive me? Lots of questions here, but will I find my own answers throughout the show.   HIGHLIGHTS   It hurts a lot. It hurts a lot because then you are in this private cell of your making because of the way you behaved in the past, and the truth of the matter is, you may not have been, you may not be that person anymore. You might have grown, you might have changed, you might have done all these things, but they still see you as that same person, and maybe it's more comfortable for them to do that because they don't want to like you because then they feel like they're liking that bad part of you, and that's a very, very difficult situation to get out of. Because you can do all the things you want, but they're always still going to think that you're this bad person, and you just feel like everything is wasted, and sometimes you build yourself up to a point where you might find new people in your life, and you might be trying to start a new chapter, but those old parts are still there, and they're still floating around. And even every once in a while, one of those people might whisper in your ear and tell you you're not good enough.    I feel like we all have to deal with our issues, and the further away we get from doing that, the worse off we are. And I, I'm scared. I'm scared for myself right now because I, I'm seeing the darker sides of people lately, and that is not a place I go to unless I'm not feeling right. So I need to figure out what am I going to do to fix this. What am I going to do to walk into the light and get out of the darkness. How am I not going to waste time? It's a really hard place to be in life when you don't know what you're supposed to do because of all the pain and suffering you've brought to other people, and more importantly, you've brought all this pain and suffering to yourself. I have been very depressed lately, and a lot of it's because I've been alone. I. I feel that people really don't want to be around me. I feel that way about my family, and It's my fault. I let my mental illness get the best of me. I didn't really get the right kind of help I needed. I didn't really seek out alternative resources. I threw myself in the fire instead of getting out, and I've done that so many times in my life where I haven't had the power just to walk away, and it's very sad because I really know these skills.

  7. Jul 19

    GET TO WORK STONER: How I am trying to stay consistent with my mental health ECXL

    I know that getting your mental health and functionality in gear is a process.  It something that doesn't happen tomorrow.  It's a process.  It's a journey.  I talk about my journey and what has worked for me, and I also swear alot today.  Most likely because it is so hot and sticky,   HIGHLIGHTS We have to say, "This is it. I'm tired of living this life. I'm tired of beating myself up. I'm tired of creating all these obstacles for myself. I am tired of facing f*****g heartache every f*****g day, so you gotta first say that to yourself, and then once you say that to yourself, then the fun begins. Yeah, yeah, it's what I'm saying. It's time for the heartache to end. It is time for all the b******t to end, and we all have to remember that everything in life and tends to be our fault. It tends to be because of something we did. Now, yes, there are crazy people out there that are just gonna f**k with you. So then you gotta make the decision whether or not you want to be around those people or not. You know, you got to make the decision of who's going to support you on your journey and who's not. Who's going to try to, you know, screw things up for you, or who is going to be the ones that are going to help elevate you? And sometimes, unfortunately, we have to just, you know, understand that we might have to do it all by ourselves because, you know, one of the things is people don't want to see you succeed. Sometimes people want to keep you at their level, and that is something that is something that happened to me pretty much. I would say towards the later years of high school, as I started to go to college, I started to do shit, and a lot of my other friends they got left behind, and and a lot of my other friends that were kind of in that same mindset as we as I was, they kind of went on their own journey too, right? They kind of just started doing their own thing, and they started deciding that it would be better to you know invest in themselves rather than invest in the partying and stuff. So you have to just make sure that you are with people that are going to elevate you, people that are going to push you, people are going to support you. And you know what, family? I just told you a little while ago about how my family kind of held me back. My family completely held me back in my life. My family didn't give me any hope of college, and maybe it was because I was a bad kid, and they thought I was a f**k up. Maybe that had something to do with it. Maybe they just thought that I was too f****d up in my head to move forward, you know, because of all the ADHD and all the other shit that I. Gone through, I mean, this is these are two people that decided to put me on Ridlin at age four. Okay, so they obviously wanted to have a nice, cool kid like my brother, because my brother was the opposite of me. My brother did well in school. My brother made friends. My brother didn't have getting to fights all the time. My brother wasn't doing drugs all the time. That was me. I did all that shit, and I think I was the out black sheep of the family. And I think my dad was just always resentful of me because I think my dad, you know, I think he put all his eggs in my brother's basket. But I showed him that I was the I was the son that you should have bet on, and I mean my brother's successful too. I haven't spoken to him in more than a decade, and I know he, you know, I know he's got a business and he's doing his own thing, and he's out in Arizona right now, and you know I have nothing but love for him, you know, even though he doesn't really give a shit that I'm alive or not, but that's okay because we don't worry about what people think about us. We worry about how we feel inside.   We don't have to eat at dinner with everyone we don't like, but we don't have to wish them to starve. You know what I mean? And I think that's part of the problem: is we don't have that sense of gratitude. We don't have that sense of just being a okay, and it's something that you learn. It's something that you teach yourself. It's something that you learn by just seeing the experiences of other people. You know, many people are quick to judge others because of whatever their reasons are, but they don't really put themselves in the shoes. But that's all about you know trying to get the toxicity out of your body, and it's about trying to start to find people who have shared values as you, who are like-minded like you, who are going to push you. And if you can't find that people, so you know that's what you got to do is you just got to start making decisions on what you're going to associate with, what you're going to take in, what you're going to do. You're going to have to just start really thinking about it, and you're going to have to make sacrifices because there might be fun people out there, people you really look. But are those people good for you? Are those people helping you? Are they helping elevate you? That's the question. You know, for the most part, people I think always mean well, but I don't think people know when they're really taking someone down. I've always tried never to push down anyone else's dreams in life. I've always wanted to be, especially like my my children, especially. You know, I truly believe in their talent. I do believe in their abilities, and I will support them

  8. Jul 12

    STAND UP FOR TRUTH: Why we b******t ourselves and others EPCLIV

    Today,I talk about how we all lie about everything usually to make ourselves and others feel better.  I speak about how that doesn't help anyone and keeps the comfort trap going.  I also talk about my own experience with lying to myself about my role in the yoga world, and other parts of my life where I had to be more honest about things.   Hello, all my stoners out there. Hello to you. Thank you for tuning in to Breathe and Bounce. My name is Michael. I am the star of the show. I am the one that makes the drinks. I'm the one that. Loads the bongs. Okay, all right. We're not going there. That was that was an old character. Sorry. Anyway, thank you for joining us today. It's funny that I talk about that old character. So today, the show we're talking about is the lies that we tell ourselves, and the lies that we tell other people-that's what today's show is about. I guess the big question is why do we feel this need to lie? Now, not everyone lies about everything, but we tell little white lies. Don't say that you don't because you do. You have maybe you don't anymore. I remember. I felt I I wanted to live this dream life when I was in junior high. I wanted to go to concerts, and there was one concert in particular I really wanted to go to, and it was Dio, Megadeth, and Sabotage. And I ended up watching the Dio part on Headbander's Ball because they had a special. So I said I went to the concert. I don't know. I wanted to look cool with my friends. I went to a concert. I had no T-shirts, had no proof, but people bought it, and I think it's because that's kind of what I wanted was to be that. And I think we all like to tell lies, and we like to exaggerate things, and we like to do things so people will see us in a more positive light. I think we also like to lie to ourselves about who we truly are as well, and I think it's easier for us to lie to ourselves about who we are at essence because the fiction is always easier to digest in the truth, and the fiction is beautiful because the fiction is what makes people excited. It gets people emotionally invested. The truth, truth not so much. I mean, sometimes if the truth is salacious enough and gaudy enough, sure people will buy into it. And sometimes we don't even know if that is the truth. We live in a society of lies, don't we? I mean, look at all the tabloids. You know, those are right there at the grocery store. You'll see the National Enquirer, and you'll see something that says like bringing Ronald Reagan back to life or some shit like that, and you're like, how the f**k are they gonna do that? But I think the truth of the matter is, is fiction is easier to take than truth. I think it's easier to take than truth when you're dealing with your role models in sports and TV, I mean, especially when you're a kid. I mean, it's so much easier to believe that there's a fictitious red man in a suit jumping around from house to house, going down chimneys, giving people presents, rather than knowing it's your parents. Oh my God, my parents did this shit for me. But it's still a loving gesture. But we do these little things. We tell these little stories because it makes everything more beautiful. Makes everything more digestible. It comes with the territory of who we are, and we might be very self-involved, selfish. We might be very conceited, and all these things. But we like to tell people that we're not. But I think inside of us, a lot of us can be. I think a lot of us can be judgmental. I think there's a lot of people that can, you know, think different things about certain people, and I think we eventually, when we become honest about these parts of us, that's when we have the opportunity to take action and possibly get away from those parts, and that's hard to do once again because you know b******t is easier to swallow than the truth, and I know that sounds disgusting to eat b******t, but I guess it tastes better. I think a bunch of like companies want to give you b******t that some of the food you're eating is really healthier than when it's not. I think. People want to give you b******t that if you buy Gucci, if you buy Louis Vuitton, you're going to be better than other people.

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Real conversations about starting over, mental health, relationships, mistakes, and figuring out who the hell you're becoming.

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  • Creator
    polarlinesUSA
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Explicit
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    © Copyright 2025 All rights reserved.
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    BREATHE N BOUNCE